With Lions
by Wolfstar888
Summary: Shepard is probably the most immature person Liara T'Soni has ever met. He jokes at inappropriate times and doesn't take anything seriously. Luckily for Shepard his past hasn't caught up with him yet and his lighthearted personality can cover almost anything up...
1. Doctor T'Soni

**With Lions **

**Author's Note: I have been reading some extraordinary works these past months and decided to try my hand at a decent Shepard story. My story will be following the Mass Effect storyline but I won't be spewing out what we've already heard and played. Instead I intend to have a unique Shepard that follows what we know and love.**

**I will never change the rating past T because I want my story to be acceptable to all viewers and I think that sometimes the rating is higher to make up for the lack of a compelling story. Hopefully I can continue this story through all three Mass Effects but that depends on you, dear reader.**

**I reserve no rights to the Mass Effect franchise. I will recieve no compensation for this story and have posted it on this site for entertaiment purposes only.**

...

Chapter One: Enter Doctor T'Soni

Liara T'Soni, he decided, was not a threat. She was way too naïve to plan anything sinister, and, lets be honest, she could hardly look at him in the eyes. He was even surer of that conclusion when Ashley Williams pretty much said that Liara was in league with Benezia, and all Liara could do was stutter and look angry. He even found himself barely able to control his laughter when Wrex picked up on her social awkwardness and said," I thought asari were supposed to be the social butterflies of the galaxy," making everyone laugh and Liara to turn more blue (asari blushing?).

After dismissing everyone, Shepard decided to go talk to Liara more, as she probably had no idea where to go or sleep. When he reached the crew deck, however; he found that she had indeed wasted no time in finding a suitable place to sleep just past the med bay. After entering and nodding to Doctor Chakwas , he was starting to wonder why Liara had picked such an out of the way place, but then he remembered the hostility she had experienced and mentally noted to shut that down before Liara entered Level 90 of Hermitness. (Hermitness? Was that even a word?) He knocked on her door, even though it was his ship and could do what he wanted. He heard a muffled "Come in," and without a second thought strode arrogantly in.

Liara had already set up her living quarters in what was probably a record-setting time (God knows that Shepard took ages to set up his living space and he didn't own nearly half the crap Liara did.) She had monitors already set up and a cot in the corner with a full bed set.

"I trust that the Normandy will suit your needs, Liara," Shepard started while still eyeing that comfortable looking bed set.

"Oh yes!" she exclaimed forcing Shepard to look away from that positively luxurious bed set, " The Normandy is one of the most advanced ships I've ever seen and should be able to fill my needs as resident archaeologist." Liara kept talking about the Normandy and its features, but Shepard couldn't stop thinking about her bed sheets. How could a new member of his team get such nice stuff; he didn't even have that nice of stuff as Commanding Officer. He should probably ask the requisitions officer for new sheets. After all, how could he fight a crazed Turian with crappy sheets? Yes, he wo-,"Shepard? Are you okay? Oh goddess, I'll get -."

"That won't be necessary, I'm sorry, I kinda zoned out. I was just admiring your bed set." Shepard would have continued but Liara started turning a curious shade of blue and he realized that what he had just said probably sounded like a horrible pick-up line, "I mean that I don't even get that nice of stuff, so I was just wondering where you got it?" Nice save, Shepard.

They continued to talk about meaningless and trivial things but Shepard enjoyed it and felt compelled to come and talk to her again. Even in his own cabin he kept going over and over what they had said and decided that he would indeed talk to her again.

...

**Author's Note: Thank you and I hoped you enjoyed it! Please review and tell me what I need to improve and what you like!**


	2. Liquid Courage

**Sorry the first chapter is so short but I didn't realize that it translates to much shorter than it appears to be on the original document. From now on the chapters should be much longer and I will try to update everyday or every other day.**

** Chapter Two: Liquid Courage **

"_Shepard, how do you know that they have the best here?" _

"_You're gonna love it and that's a fact. Don't worry." _

"_GET DOWN!" _

Shepard woke with a start. How could he sleep after such horrid nightmares? He dressed quickly and headed out to the kitchen hoping to find some liquor to ease his mind after such a vivid dream. After a long and surprisingly physical search for his prize he found what appeared to be some sort of asari wine and without a second thought sat at the mess table and started drinking. He would never dream of doing such a thing if he were about to go on a mission but they had just started shore leave so he decided to live a little.

He hoped that drinking would accomplish two things: forgetting his awful nightmares and the way Liara's eyes seemed to burn straight to his soul. Her eyes seemed to be able to go through the mountains of BS he so carefully laid down and he could only hope that she was not disgusted by what she saw under the surface. Earlier he had seen a picture of Matriarch Benezia, and had been struck by the resemblance between Doctor T'Soni and her mother. Shepard hoped that he would not have to kill Benezia; it would almost be like killing an older Liara. He shivered at the thought. Take a stronger drink Shepard, he told himself; you're not supposed to be thinking like this on shore leave.

Commander Shepard had occasionally nursed the thought of avoiding Liara so he wouldn't feel so bad about the inevitable confrontation between Benezia and himself, but he quickly threw that idea out the airlock because he couldn't avoid Liara even if he tried. She was too interesting to be ignored and too valuable an asset to be neglected. He would have to remember to ask her about her mother, he needed to know what she thought about the situation.

"Getting drunk already, Commander?" Liara's gentle voice called out. He was so startled by her voice that he nearly tipped over his chair.

"Jesus Christ, Doctor T'Soni! I almost died right there. How humiliating would that be?" Shepard changed his voice to match that of a stereotypical news anchor, "The only hope for the galaxy dies today after getting the shit scared out of him when a friendly asari interrupted his drinking."

"I am sorry, Commander," Liara was clearly not sorry as she was trying to hide a fit of giggles behind her hand. He quickly took another swig of this increasingly delicious wine.

"Do you wanna join me?" he asked, gesturing towards the table where he sat. The earlier conversation was already flying out of his mind. She nodded and sat the on the opposite side of the table. Awkward silence fell over them until Shepard cleared his throat and asked, "If we meet Benezia in battle can I trust that you will help me… subdue her?" He hated asking that but it was important to know. He was sober enough to realize the importance of this question.

"Of course! Benezia is obviously not the same person she was, and we need to make sure she doesn't do anything that could hurt her reputation more." Liara stated, making it clear she didn't expect to kill her mother. Shepard didn't say anything more on the matter, hoping they could just talk Benezia out of what she was doing.

"You know, Doct-," whatever Shepard had known was never indulged as he grasped his head as a headache tore through his mind. He doubled over in pain, saw flashes of aliens being torn to bits, and his own blood pouring from a wound in his chest.

Liara, completely dumbfounded by what had just happened, had barely enough time to register that something was horribly wrong. Just as she was about to start yelling for help Shepard straightened up, and looked as if nothing had ever happened. "Are- are y-ou ok?" she managed to stammer out.

"The damn Prothean beacon is giving me the worst migraines I've ever had. But don't worry they're just headaches, nothing to get too excited over," he flashed her that crooked smile that she had gotten used to over the past few days. Liara, not entirely convinced he noted, kept eyeing him like he would explode into tiny pieces of confetti.

"Commander, you know that I could meld my mind with yours right? I could help you with these visions," the asari scientist had took on a pleading tone, she sounded truly concerned for the well-being of her commander.

"No thanks, I'll be fine. It's just a phase I'll go through until my mind can sort out the beacon. So tell me, T'Soni, have you ever been in any fight? And not ones where you ignored some other girl and told rumors about how she cheated on Brad with Fred but ones with guns and blood?" Shepard leaned forward.

Graciously ignoring the comment about petty girl fights, Liara answered, "One actually, it was at a dig on some remote planet that Serrice University had sponsored. It was just me and five others, mostly asari and one salarian. I guess the Batarians thought we were going to be easy to capture," Shepard's shoulders tensed at the mention of Batarians, "and they would have been right if I had not been trained so well with biotics. My instincts knew before I did, and I threw a warp before I was entirely awake. Luckily I had decided not to sleep in my tent or else, Goddess forbids, the warp would have rebounded to me. And after that first warp it was just a matter of getting the stragglers." Shepard noticed (even through his alcohol induced haze) how much this seemed to bother Liara. He imagined that was probably the first time she told anyone about the incident. That was also probably the first time she had killed someone. He knew that you never forgot the first person you killed.

...

Commander Shepard took another sip of what appeared to be asari wine and offered Liara a clear view of what appeared to be a massive scar on his right arm's bicep. She could see that his skin was several shades darker there and it almost looked like someone had carved writing directly onto his skin. She leaned a little closer hoping to see if it was just a scar or writing, but Shepard noticed her looking at his arm a quickly brought his hand back down, effectively covering the mark. The two stared at each other, Shepard obviously upset that she had seen the mark. Feeling brave, she dared to ask, "Commander, what happened to your arm?"

Shepard tensed his jaw and she could see something in his eyes she had never seen before. His eyes were usually a calm, piercing green, but just then they had turned to storm clouds with anger rolling across his irises. "Doctor T'Soni," he started, his voice tight, "Let's just say some people are more forgiving than others when you mess up." This statement, of course, only piqued her interest but, she thought better of prying. Shepard-he wasn't someone you wanted to be on the bad side of. "Well Doctor, I think it's past my bedtime-."

"Liara, please call me Liara, Commander," she turned her head downwards and hoped Shepard couldn't see the blush spreading across her features.

"Alright, if I get to call you Liara, it's only fair that you call me Shepard," Shepard stood up and started putting back the wine bottle. Liara noticed how he moved with an efficiency she had only seen other soldiers use. Even when he was precariously perched on one of the counters trying to get the wine back in its place, he still had a sort of grace to him. It was odd she decided, for Shepard was around six feet but moved like a ballerina.

...

After Shepard had made an utter fool of himself before Liara, trying to put the bottle back, he took the walk of shame back to his cabin and hoped Liara hadn't thought he was more of a loon.

Shepard dreamt of horses that night.


	3. Visions

**Chapter Three: Visions**

Death and dying seemed to be the theme of Shepard's recent dreams. If it wasn't Protheans screeching and dying in horrific ways, then it was Benezia getting killed by his own hand in the most gruesome ways imaginable. No matter how hard he tried to reason with himself that Benezia could be talked out of her… tendency to hate most living creatures, there was still a doubtful voice in the back of his mind saying it would be impossible not to end her existence. He hated that voice even more after his talk with Liara.

Then there was the Protheans being massacred by some unknown threat. This troubled him even more than Benezia. If a powerful race such as the Protheans could be wiped out by these things, why couldn't human beings be wiped out? Or the asari? The list went on and on with potential limitless prey for this evil. Only one thing was clear at this point and it was: eliminate Saren and get more information about the Prothean's death.

Another headache tore through Shepard's mind just thinking about the Protheans. These headaches would be the death of him, he decided. For just recently he had traveled to his bathroom and had been treated to the sight of a man who should have probably been sent to the funny farm. His eyes were locked in a thousand-yard stare, his hair tousled and unkempt, but by far the worst part was the bags under his eyes. To say that it looked like a champion fighter had given him two black eyes was an understatement. Something had to be done about his condition or else Wrex would be leading the fight against Saren. That thought brought a momentary smile to Shepard's mouth. He had imagined Wrex wearing a much too small Alliance uniform and a cap atop his… back/head thing. He could only hope that none of his crew had noticed his terrible state. Unfortunately, some of them had.

...

"Did you see the Commander when he came out of his commander cave?" Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams asked Lieutenant Kaiden Alenko.

"Yes, it looked like Wrex had mistaken him for a seat," he said quietly, not wanting the rest of the crew to notice how their fearless leader looked like shit.

"I think he's been hitting the happy juice too hard," Ashley Williams told him, looking thoughtfully at the kitchen for signs of alcohol.

"Happy juice, Williams?" Kaiden asked, truly confused. It was way too early to be up.

Sighing in agitation, Ashley said, "You know liquid courage, giggle juice, moonshine." Seeing that Kaiden wasn't getting anything out of her informative list she said, "Alcohol!"

Finally understanding, Kaiden nodded in agreement, "Could be, although Shepard lives, breathes and shits the Alliance. It would be stupid of him to drink heavily on the job. Hackett would have him stripped of his command if he ever found out."

"True, so than maybe that's not it then… I know! He's p-," Ashley quickly stopped when Kaiden started motioning over Liara T'Soni. The doctor shyly walked over to them and sat next to Kaiden. Ashley wondered if she was suffocating or something because she had turned a darker shade of blue in just a few seconds.

...

One minute Liara had been trying to get some food and the next she had been waved over by Kaiden Alenko. She found herself next to an enthusiastic lieutenant and across from Ashley, who appeared to be deciding on whether she should fight or fly. Awkward silence stretched out over them, caused by Ashley's unflinching glare. Kaiden cleared his throat and took a swing at the silence, "Sooo, nice weather we're having."

Williams, almost succeeding at breaking her glare, reminded Alenko that they lived on a spacecraft and the only weather here was a balmy 72 degrees with the only atmospheric change occurring if they were blown to pieces. So there they sat, in an almost unbearable silence, until Shepard stumbled out of his cabin.

One of the most intriguing things about Shepard, Liara had found, was his ability to make everyone comfortable with each other and so happy you could almost see the rainbows pouring out of their features. His appearance had even made Ashley come dangerously close to happiness. The whole mess hall seemingly turned their eyes upon Shepard, who had succeeded at finding the coffee pot and after a rather impressive amount of expletives had gotten himself breakfast, too. All the tension melted away from Liara's table when Shepard sat down at it. She was even going to ask him about how he slept until she actually saw his face.

The commander's eyes were sunken with dark rings surrounding them; his hair was a violent mess and his overall appearance matched that of a wild varren. Ashley and Kaiden also took in his looks and remained silent as Shepard ate. Liara decided then and there that she would convince Shepard to let her help him. It was obvious that the Prothean beacon was shredding his mind, and without help would become useless to the Alliance, which she imagined was his worst fear.

"Shepard, may I speak to you alone?" Liara said, hoping her anxiety didn't seep into her words.

Looking up from his meal, Shepard replied, "Of course, let's go." He moved to put his plate away and gestured Liara to follow him to his cabin.

Liara looked around her commander's cabin and was a bit surprised by what she saw. There were posters of Alliance ships (no surprise), maps of planets and what she could only assume were locations on Earth, and most notably posters of animals. They included the anatomy of the recognized some of the animals, but most she did not. Perhaps Shepard was interested in biology, since the posters depicted different biological systems. This was extremely surprising considering Shepard never mentioned his love of animals (now that she thought about it, Shepard had never said much about himself ).

"So what seems to be the problem, Liara?" Shepard's voice pulled her out of her thoughts. He was perched on the end of his bed, studying her intently, his scrutiny making her tense.

"Shepard, it's clear to me and most of the crew that something is wrong. My guess is that the Prothean beacon is doing this to you," she took on a pleading tone, "Please let me help you; I can meld my mind with yours and get to the bottom of what's happening." She half expected Shepard to send her out the door but he only studied her for awhile longer, looked down at his feet and nodded.

Being only 109, she had never melded with anyone before and hoped she would not regret it. She approached him, and even though touching was unnecessary to melding, she sat next to him and touched her forehead to his. She whispered Embrace Eternity,

and everything changed.

"They have the best here, right?" Liara heard what sounded to be a young male human's voice. The picture of him was fuzzy but then focused in. He looked like a ten-year-old version of Commander Shepard but she quickly realized that her Shepard (a much younger version) was walking next to him. The two were walking down a crowded street with mostly humans bustling around them.

"Why would we come here if they didn't? This zoo is galaxy-famous and I even hear they have your favorite," her Shepard said grinning down at the tiny Shepard.

"Horses, no way!" the tiny Shepard's eyes were full of excitement and whatever horses were must have been a great source of entertainment for the young child. Then the scene changed.

Bodies were piled around two people hunkered down behind a long gone hover car. One was the tiny Shepard and one was _the_ Shepard. _The _Shepard was firing at an unknown enemy while the other one was crouched low, trying to cover his ears from the screaming that had started. Smoke billowed from burning buildings making it even harder to see the pair. Unbeknownst to the larger Shepard, a Batarian had snuck up around the side of the car and was heading to the tiny Shepard. Liara tried to call to the large Shepard, but her voice would not work and she could only watch in horror as the smaller Shepard was picked up by the Batarian. Watching, she sighed in relief as large Shepard noticed, and had started to run after the Batarian carrying the other Shepard. Her relief turned to disbelief as _the _Shepard stopped, and looked back at the city. He then retreated back to his hover car and started firing again at the approaching Batarian mob. The scene once again shifted.

She found herself in an abandoned warehouse with a group of teenagers surrounding something. A lone voice rang out in the warehouse, "This'll teach the Reds, make it clear this one stepped over the line." She closed her eyes once the screaming began.

When she opened her eyes she was amongst what looked like Protheans running away from something. She stood in the middle of the street while Protheans streamed around her and through her. In the distance she could hear roaring that sounded machine made. One thought kept coming into her mind: Run, the Reapers are here. She continued to feel that sensation while flashes of large machines went through her mind. After an eternity this way she found herself in Shepard's room.

Liara and Shepard faced each other. Shepard looked nervous and opened his mouth to say something…

...

**Author's Note: Hope you like it so far! I also hope you like my pure Paragon (almost to the point of causing diabetes) Shepard. I like Paragon Shepards better, but Renegades are more interesting. Honestly though, I couldn't write a Renegade Shepard because you need true talent to write that. **

**Also if you feel like you're reading some of the worst chapters (or mediocre chapters, which is worse than bad) in an increasingly crappy story, PLEASE tell me! I can only make it better if you review and tell me what I'm doing wrong. If you hate this story and don't review it, then I will continue down my happy little oblivious trail and you'll be forced to see this story and shutter in agony that I'm still trying to write it. So really, you're helping yourself. **

**-Wolfstar **


	4. The Short Goodbye

**Chapter Four: The Short Goodbye**

Liara and Shepard sat there, on his bed, staring at each other. In any other situation Liara would have been embarrassed, for she was inches away from someone else on a rather comfortable bed. Several times Shepard had opened his mouth to say something, but had changed his mind at the last moment. Liara was drained, both physically and mentally. Melding was far different from what she had thought it would be. Deciding she needed a nap she murmured to Shepard," I-ah- think I should go. Melding is exhausting and I'm feeling the need for a nap," Liara tried to be humorous but after what she had just seen, it failed miserably.

Shepard was still for a moment more and then nodded his head. He chuckled darkly and replied," I think I need one too." So they went their separate ways and Liara couldn't stop thinking about what she had seen. She hoped and prayed that somehow the images she had seen were hybrids of the Prothean beacon and Shepard watching too many soap operas. She knew that they weren't. What she had seen were glimpses of Shepard's past and she wondered how he was so cheerful all the time. Heck, if she had been through that, she would have been on the galaxy's most wanted list. She had expected melding to be peaceful and not nearly as tiring. Instead, she had experienced the raw emotions Shepard felt at the time of the memory. When she watched his memories and the Prothean beacon play out, it had been so real and devastating that several times she had to remind herself that these weren't pictures from her own past. Liara had barely been able to stop herself from crying at the memories, they were so _real._ She kept thinking about the meld until exhaustion finally lulled her to sleep.

…

…Before the bullet even left the chamber, he knew it would not miss. He also knew it would be the last bullet he fired for the day. His enemy was done for and so were his emotions. What happened next almost made Shepard hang up his armor and become a simple chicken farmer.

Liara had run over to Benezia's bleeding out form and they had exchanged words. What words were said, Shepard would never find out because the ringing in his ears was too loud. His eyes were perfectly fine however. He watched the tears stream down Liara's face and glanced down at his own hands, disgusted that their aim was so steady. Deep down, in the logical part of his brain, he knew it couldn't have turned out any other way. He knew he couldn't talk to Benezia and convince her to come aboard the _Normandy_. That part kept telling him that no matter how much he might have wanted it, Liara, Benezia and himself would never have held hands and joyfully skipped to the _Normandy_ singing songs from the _Wizard of Oz._ It was ridiculous to feel this way when he knew all that, but still he did. He shouldn't have cared; it was just another enemy nut out of the way. Shepard regretted his actions.

The walk back to the _Normandy_ was even worse. Shepard tried not to notice Liara's silent tears or the way she hung her head, but he did. Even Joker's jokes were not enough to cheer him up. Several times he tried to turn to Liara, to say how sorry he was, but he couldn't find the words.

When he sat in his commander cave he tried to think of things to say to Doctor T'Soni, things like: "Oh hey, sorry about your mother. Saren's a little bitch and your mom's in a better place… except she might not be because she didn't see the flash of light, but hey don't think about it!" He quickly came to the conclusion that all his ideas were horrendous and he should just bring lots of chocolate and a shoulder to cry on.

Shepard mentally prepared himself for the tongue lashing he would surely get from Liara and strode into the Mess Hall. He quickly gathered all the chocolate he could possibly find and walked to Liara's door, ignoring the bewildered stares from crew members. Luckily, Doctor Chakwas wasn't there, because explaining how he had enough chocolate to clog the arteries of a whale would be another pain in the ass he didn't need. At least three times he tried to knock on Liara's door and finally found the courage to do it. When he heard the "come in", he walked slowly in, hoping that Liara would understand why he had had to kill Benezia.

…

Liara sat on her cot and wondered what in the world had just happened. One minute she was talking to _her_ mother and the next she was talking with Saren's puppet. Benezia had launched at her, her biotics seconds from ripping Liara apart when Shepard had blown her backwards with a gunshot to the chest. To say that had shocked her was an understatement. For a long time Liara had thought Benezia could be convinced to join the crew of the _Normandy_, but after seeing her condition she knew nothing like that was going to happen. Remembering the way Shepard had saved her life brought a new emotion to her brain, in fact she was about to dissect it until she had heard someone knocking and a minute later Shepard had shuffled in. His eyes were downcast and his arms were _loaded _with bags full of something. He set down the bags on her desk and turned slowly. Then Shepard just suddenly opened his arms and without a further thought she found herself being cradled by his strong hands.

She didn't know how long they had been embracing, but came to the conclusion that forever probably wouldn't have been long enough. When they finally stepped back from each other she noticed that Shepard's shirt was soaked. She touched her cheeks and found that they were also wet; she didn't even realize she had cried. Shepard was looking at her with a worried expression, but in truth she felt much better. There was no point in crying anymore, so she offered him a small smile. He seemed to relax and walked over to her desk. He ungracefully ripped open one of the bags and turned back, offering something. She nervously took it, unsure of what it was. Upon closer inspection it appeared to be similar to a candy found on Thessia. She quickly ate it and magically felt better. "What's it called?" Liara asked.

Smiling, Shepard said, "Chocolate… the eighth wonder of the world." She had to agree with him on that part. "Capable of helping anyone, through anything," Liara hoped she had imagined the pain in Shepard's voice.

…

After Liara and Shepard had eaten a tremendous amount of chocolate, they found themselves sitting on Liara's bed, talking about Benezia.

"Tell me about her," Shepard offered quietly. He didn't want to know about Benezia, he didn't want to know about the person that he had shot through the chest. But this was for Liara, so he had to ask.

"She always made time for me, even if she had hours of work waiting for her. When I was younger we used to make forts. I always pretended they were Prothean ruins but I never told her that. She wouldn't have found that quite as amusing as I did. She wanted to support me, with whatever I did. It's true that she didn't appreciate my fascination with the Protheans but she never truly tried to stop it. If she had truly not wanted me doing my own thing then I would probably be locked in a tower somewhere…," Before she could continue Shepard had interrupted her.

"Wait, did you just reference a human fairytale?" Shepard asked, his lopsided grin spreading across his face.

Liara, unable to contain the blush that was spreading across her face nodded and said, "Well, I was curious about humans. So I did some research into them and found that your 'fairytales', as you call them, are pretty good." She stopped and started staring at Shepard in the weirdest way. He realized that his grin was probably taking his face hostage.

"Really, Doctor T'Soni? What else have you found while researching humans," Commander Shepard's tone of voice had slipped into its normal teasing tone.

Liara had started turning even more blue before answering," Well I-ah-learned a lot about you. For example I learned that you-ah- lived on the streets as a child." Shepard was a little surprised that she hadn't asked him about it, but wasn't shocked she had known about it. One could find a lot on the extranet.

"I see and what do you think?" Shepard was truly wondering what she thought about his past.

"I certainly haven't met anyone who has lived through so much… or is so fascinating." Shepard couldn't help but wonder if she was only fascinated with his link with the Protheans. After all she had just said the word 'Prothean' at least a thousand times when she spoke about Benezia.

"So am I fascinating or is it my link to the Protheans that you find so interesting?" Shepard replied. It was important to know what Liara wanted.

"At first I was drawn to your link with the Protheans and how your mind wasn't completely obliterated by it. Then my fascination with _you_ started to surpass my fascination with the link." Shepard was relieved, after her initial comment he thought that only this weird link to the past was what made him intriguing. The two were getting dangerously close and strangely enough Shepard was okay with that. They were leaning closer and closer until Joker came over the speakers," Commander, Garrus wants to speak with you about the Mako." After a number of choice words and a frustrated goodbye from Shepard, he headed to the cargo bay. Garrus was about to receive a tongue lashing that people would make legends out of.

…

"Thank you Garrus," Shepard angrily huffed at Garrus Vakarian. Garrus was honestly bewildered by what he had done. All he had ever wanted to do was to tell Shepard that launching the Mako down large cliffs was an activity he advised against. He was even going to point out what it did to the Mako and how he personally had to fix it. His entire speech quickly vanished from his mind when he saw how mad Shepard was. "Umm, what did I do?" Garrus hoped his innocent voice would win over the Commander.

"To start off I was inches from Liara and about to…," Shepard started off angry and ended up sounding almost as embarrassed as Liara always was.

Then Garrus knew exactly what had happened and he started laughing, "I see your winning over the hearts and souls of the ladies, or whatever, on this ship."

Shepard turned even brighter red and replied," Well it's crucial to the mission. You know, people have to trust me." Garrus knew he had brought Shepard back from the brink of a temper tantrum when he saw Shepard grinning like an idiot.

"Oh yes, I'm sure Liara _trusts _you completely." Their easy back and forth banter reminded Garrus why he had first come with the Spectre. Not only did he not have to follow rules (something Garrus really appreciated after C-Sec) but the human also had a charm to him. Garrus had no problem imagining Shepard bringing peace to the galaxy and causing all the races to be so happy that rainbows flew out their asses. In fact Garrus was almost positive that this man would play a huge role in his future.

…

**Author's Note: I'm so sorry it took so long to get this chapter up but I was battling a case of writer's block. This chapter fought me every step of the way; this particular part of the storyline after Benezia's death is one of the hardest chapters to write, in my opinion. Usually you can go off of past experiences to help your writing be more believable but I've never had a parent die and I've never had a friend who went through that either. Hopefully I will be quicker to update with the coming chapters. **

**-Wolfstar**


	5. Five Stages of Grief, Three Repressed

**Author's Note: So this chapter is hitting the angst hard and letting the humor part dry up and die. I'm sorry, I know you like this fic because of the comedy, but no matter how hard I tried, there was no way to find humor in this part of the Mass Effect storyline. Luckily, there's always next chapter and Shepard never seems to run out of inappropriate, stupid and yet totally hilarious things to say. Hooray!**

**Chapter Five: Five Stages of Grief, Three Repressed **

Shepard is going to throw up. He had to keep it together while he was with Liara and Ashley. The worst part was that he kept imagining Kaiden standing right next to him and he would convince himself that he actually was there. Kaiden was never there. Shepard is going to throw up.

He thought he could feel the shockwave from the nuclear explosion rock the ship, even though he knew there wasn't any way it could reach out this far in space. People were talking to him, he could see blurs going by him and standing in front of him. Sometimes his body would rattle, but he was strangely unattached to it, and he could distantly recognize someone trying to get his attention.

He had made many, many tough decisions in his famed career. Shepard had gotten other subordinates killed. Still, the death of Kaiden was hitting him hard, much harder than any other death of a subordinate. He figured it was because he knew Kaiden well, they were friends. A lot of the time the two drank with each other on shore leave. Kaiden wasn't just a friend, he was a good friend and Shepard had killed him. Shepard is going to throw up.

Why had he chosen Kaiden over Ashley? He knew why. Shepard had chosen Kaiden over Ashley because Ashley had family, sisters, waiting for her. He would never tell anyone this, but she was also a better soldier and therefore a better asset to Shepard. Shepard shivered at the thought; was he willing to sacrifice a friend for a strategic advantage? He liked Ashley well enough, but Kaiden was a true friend.

Suddenly he could hear shouting, _loud _shouting, and when he focused up he found Doctor Chakwas standing in front of him. Worry etched on her face.

"Commander, come with me. I am taking you to the Med Bay," the doctor said the words slowly, as if talking to a small child.

Shepard snapped out of his trance and replied, "No, no, doctor. I think I just need to lie down for awhile." And with that Shepard edged around the good doctor and hurried to the elevator, anxious to get to his cabin.

Once he reached the cabin, he immediately went to the bathroom. He ran to his toilet and started heaving. He threw up for a good five minutes until he could no longer stand the sensation. The only thing left to do was go to sleep, so he did.

…

Liara knew this was bad, very bad. Usually Shepard would turn around in the airlock, when they were being decontaminated, and talk to the people he brought on the mission. Wanting to know what they thought of the mission, what could have gone better, those sorts of things; but this time he never turned around. He didn't even so much as glance back.

Ashley Williams was much like the commander, unmoving and completely pale. The realization that Shepard had just saved her instead of Kaiden was undoubtedly sinking in. Liara was the only one not locked into a trance, she couldn't be. Shepard would need her, and acting like a zombie wasn't going to make him feel better.

It was even worse when the trio stepped into the Normandy, just behind the cockpit, and Shepard only walked in a few feet and stopped. Liara waited patiently, assuming Shepard would snap out of his trance. The minutes passed and Liara grew more concerned; Shepard hadn't moved an inch. Other crew members had noticed and were starting to stare. Even Joker had noticed and had a concerned expression painted across his face.

Now people had started snapping in front of his face and waving their hands, but nothing worked. Apparently Joker realized this at about the same time as Liara because he called up Doctor Chakwas via intercom.

When Chakwas had finally reached Shepard, he snapped out of it and with a quick reply to the doctor, hurried to the elevator. When she tried to follow, Doctor Chakwas had stopped her, saying that Shepard would need a couple hours to himself. So Liara started the waiting game, glancing back at the clock every few minutes, thinking hours had gone by.

…

When Shepard awoke, thoughts of Kaiden had already started streaming into his mind. He kept thinking that if he had done something different, Kaiden would have lived. Thoughts like that kept flittering across his mind until a knock on the door awoke him from his silent reverie.

After a hesitant 'come in', Liara walks into his room. For a couple seconds they just stared at each other and right when it's about to get awkward, Liara opens her arms and Shepard was in them in a record time. The fact that their roles were reversed just a couple nights ago doesn't escape Shepard's mind.

When they step away from each other, Shepard immediately misses Liara's arms. Liara looks at him and starts off hesitantly, "You're probably going to hate me after I say this, but it _has _to be said… Shepard, I know Kaiden's death has hit you hard but you can't do that again. You can't zone out in the middle of the ship." Shepard was about to start arguing with her. Why couldn't he zone out? It was his ship; he could do whatever the hell he wanted. Before he could voice those opinions to Liara she continued with her speech." People were scared, Shepard. Don't you get it? Those people admire and trust you; when you do that it hurts them and they lose a little faith in you. You _cannot _let how much this hurts show. If you do, your crew will lose faith that you can get the job done and Saren will win. Win this battle and then think about it." Everything Doctor T'Soni had just said was true, but that doesn't mean he had to like it.

"Your right, of course," Shepard tried to laugh but it came out as a strangled screech," First I kill Saren and then I let all my problems manifest into a mental illness." He tried to joke with Liara, but he knew by the look on her face that he had offended her. Prepare for a shitstorm, Shepard told himself. All Liara did, however, was turn and leave his cabin, which was much worse than what he thought would happen.

He needed to call the crew together before he fixed things with Liara. It was weird how he was the one who should have been mad at her for what she said, yet she was now the one storming out of his cabin. Women. He needed that out of his mind while he planned the meeting with his crew; his companions would need to know that he was okay now and ready to go hunt down Saren.

…

"…Kaiden would have wanted us to catch Saren and it's our job to stay focused so that we can do that. Once we defeat him, we will have a proper burial for Kaiden. Crew dismissed," Shepard had talked for about an hour regarding the death of Kaiden and what it meant to their mission. Although Kaiden meant different things to different people, Shepard's message had been clear: Stop Saren first and then mourn for Kaiden.

Commander Shepard knew that he would have to make up with Liara and saw his chance when she was leaving the conference room. He caught up with her quickly, determined to explain that he was stupid and that she should ignore half of what he says. "Liara, wait!" He waited in the middle of the conference room, getting more nervous with every step Liara took towards him. When she had stopped in front of him and looked at him expectedly, Shepard lost all the words he was planning to say. "Uhh…Liara... I am sorry," Shepard mumbled out. "What I said was supposed to be a joke but it-ah-came out wrong."

Liara waited for a second and then started out, "Shepard, I know it was a joke, but… all I was trying to do was make you get a hold of the situation. I never wanted you to think that I don't care about your problems." So the truth came out, she wasn't mad at him for the joke, she was mad because it implied that she didn't think his feelings were much to write home about. Shepard understood that but was utterly confused as to why she was upset about it. Instead of voicing _that_ opinion, however; he just nodded and pulled her into a hug. Commander Shepard decided then and there that everything would turn out alright.


	6. A Very Blue Birthday

**Chapter Six: A Very Blue Birthday**

"So… Shepard. I was thinking that we should go out to eat tonight. Relax a little bit, you know?" Doctor Liara T'Soni was trying to use her best seductive voice to win over her…boyfriend? She didn't actually know what they were but she knew it was more than friends and less than bond-mates. Anyways, she had decided to try and convince Commander Shepard to take her out for her birthday without actually telling him it was her birthday. Goddess knows what he would do if he found out it was her birthday.

Shepard looked a little disappointed when he said, "I don't think I can today, how about tomorrow?" They were in Liara's room thing.

Liara will never know what made her say this, she had practiced _not _telling Shepard this but it slipped out nevertheless, "Well it's my birthday today, so I wanted to celebrate a little bit." When she had finished she couldn't believe that she had done that. Then she saw Shepard's face.

At that moment alarm bells were going off in her head, she knew she should have run and found the nearest helmet. Shepard took a moment to think about what she said and ever so slowly a huge grin started to appear. The little twinkle in his eye got brighter and he leaned close to Liara, causing goose bumps to spread across her body. He whispered in her ear, "Well if it's your birthday, then we'll defiantly have to celebrate." Liara decided that telling Shepard wasn't a bad thing at all.

Liara started leaning in for a kiss and she could feel the heat coming off of Shepard they were so close. They had barely touched lips when Shepard jerked back and stepped away, his grin once again appearing. "Not so fast T'Soni, I have to get you off the ship so I can…plan. How do you feel about window shopping with Wrex?"

…

"So one time this Batarian was coming at me, murder in its eyes and guns blazing. And you know what I did?" Wrex paused a moment waiting for Liara to respond and when she didn't, he continued anyways," I charged that pyjack and ripped his puny head off. It was funny how his gun was still going even with his head gone. I would have admired the spectacle more if Batarians hadn't of come around a corner and started shooting at me. I probably would have taken the body and buried it. A Krogan's first kill is always a big deal and we honor our enemies… So I guess that's the really exciting moment when I was five. Six was much better, more killing and blood rage."

Before Wrex could say anymore Liara interrupted him, "Wait, wait. You did all that when you were five years old? I thought Krogans were at least eight before they killed their first enemy."

"That's true if you don't have a hard ass father like mine. He insisted I started early and quickly. I took pleasure in killing him." Wrex did his deep chuckle at the thought while Liara stayed silent. She had quickly given up on the idea of window shopping with Wrex. It was hard to explain why a Krogan was wondering around a ladies department store. So they had settled in a park on the Citadel. Wrex was mostly talking, while Liara commented occasionally on his exploits. It was relaxing and they both enjoyed each other's company, although neither one would ever admit it.

Liara was also keeping watch for Shepard, because she had seen him occasionally go by, his arms full of stuff. She wondered what he could be doing; after all she had only wanted to go on a date with him. The thought of the whole crew knowing about her birthday and decorating for her was extremely embarrassing. If only she could of lov- liked, liked someone else, someone calmer and not so high strung, then she could have enjoyed a nice evening out, free of embarrassments.

Wrex was still talking, mostly about different looking guts of different species and tactics on killing them, but Liara had zoned out. It was weird, she thought, how different she and Shepard were. The commander was probably a little insane and extremely high strung, while she was calm and had a… steady personality. They were polar opposites and she loved it. Shepard also happened to be charismatic and funny, both things she lacked (Shepard had told her on numerous occasions about how she had lacked a sense of humor.) She had even tried to make her self funnier by looking up jokes on the extranet but it was a horrible failure that went something like this: Liara- Knock, knock! Shepard- Who's there? Liara- Orange! Shepard- Orange who? Liara- Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

When she had expected great excitement and laughter from Shepard she could only see horror in his face. He had approached her slowly talking about how she should never look up extranet jokes and how he hoped this hadn't ruined her (hopefully) blossoming sense of humor. Needless to say she never looked up extranet jokes again.

Although that little blunder was horribly embarrassing, something good had come out of it. Shepard had started coming to her little alcove more often and instead of talking they had both done work. While this seemed horribly awkward, it was actually comforting having Shepard next to her. Occasionally she had looked up and found Shepard looking at her and when this happened he would give her a smile and return back to work.

While she was still thinking about that, Shepard had snuck up behind her and had very so carefully stood directly behind her and then shouted Liara! Liara would never say to anyone about how much that had scared her and would especially never mention how she had almost peed herself.

…

Shepard was extremely pleased with himself. Liara had squeaked in terror when he shouted her name and to be honest, it was hilarious. Only a few seconds later did he realize that what he had done could potentially piss Liara off, but he couldn't stop laughing. When Liara turned around she was not a happy camper, but she appeared to have stopped herself from getting mad, her eyes softening when she saw Shepard laughing so hard.

"Lets- hahaha- go back to the – hahaha- ship, every things ready!" Shepard was still laughing and it was hard getting that sentence out. So he gestured for Wrex and Liara to follow him.

When they arrived at the ship everything was dark. Nothing seemed to be powered on and there wasn't any sign of the crew. Shepard immediately split up Liara, Wrex and himself to search the ship. When Wrex started to leave to his part of the ship, Shepard grabbed his meaty arm, pointing to Liara and raising a finger to his lips. Wrex understood and soon the pair were following Liara.

When she entered the Mess Hall the lights flashed on and all the crew members stood up and screamed, "HAPPY KINDA SURPRISE PARTY!" Shepard watched as Liara stood there frozen, turning her head. He walked up behind her and asked," So was it surprising?"

Since Liara had thought Shepard was in a different part of the ship, she jumped a little at his voice. She looked at him and a frown started forming across her face. Oh shit, Shepard thought. When she was silent for a long time, he started out, "I'm sorry, Liara. I thought it would be funny." He would have said more but her frown was cracking and soon a huge smile spread across her face.

"You know Shepard; you're not the only one that can surprise someone," Liara said, mischief dripping from her words. In that moment he knew that she hadn't really been mad at him, she was just playing around.

"Cut the chatter, there's a full bar and we're on shore leave!" Someone shouted from the back (probably Joker, or even Chakwas- her alcohol intake rivaling that of a Krogan). Everyone laughed and soon split up into groups.

…

The decorations were amazing. There was a banner saying Happy Birthday Liara! There was also lots of colorful ribbons and music in the background. It was wonderful and she couldn't help but glance at Shepard, knowing that he had set up all this. Her mother always tried to do something for her birthday, but usually that consisted of the two going to a resturant rather than having a party. Later on when she was in Prothean dig sites, she never celebrated her birthday. When it came along she usually had a little celebratory drink and that was it. Never had anyone put so much time and effort into her birthday.

Commander Shepard and Liara had been going between groups when someone had mentioned cake. The whole crew migrated to the cake and Shepard proudly announced that two cakes had been made, one for Tali and Garrus and one for everyone else. "I think Liara gets to cut the cake since it's her birthday!" Shepard announced, looking at Liara. Looking back on that moment she should have known that something was up, but she didn't, so she gladly took a knife and started cutting the non-dextro cake.

Liara admired how tasty the cake looked and slammed the knife down hard. As soon as she had gone down about an inch there was a loud pop and cake flew _everywhere. _It mostly got on Liara but nearby spectators also got hit in the face. The frosting literally coated her entire face and only when someone handed her a towel did she see Shepard and Garrus standing next to each other, laughing uncontrollably. They were slapping each other on the back and hitting their knees. Most of the crew was laughing but Garrus and Shepard were out of control. After a few minutes everyone but those two had stopped laughing and they went on for a good twenty minutes.

Doctor Chakwas announced," It looks like you and Garrus have some cleaning up to do, Commander." This quickly sobered up the pair as they glanced around at the carnage, their faces dropping.

"Well, we have to do presents first, then we will clean up," Shepard said, still looking at the exploded cake. Liara groaned at the mention at another party activity, as she was hoping that she could go back to her room after the cake incident. She cringed at the thought of what her presents might be.

Everyone sat in a circle, all eyes on Liara when the presents started getting handed to her. The first present was from Doctor Chakwas and it was a bottle of Serrice Ice Brandy, the best she said. Then the next present was from Joker, which she was a little afraid to open, but it was actually a pretty funny card with some creds tucked into it. One by one she opened presents and the list was this: Wrex: Two gun mods (Liara had no idea how to put them on, luckily Shepard was very much into guns and could do it for her), Garrus: A copy of this years best Turian comedy, Bird People, Tali: A lovely mug with SR-1 inscribed on it, Ashley: Another card with some creds in it, then the rest of the crew gave her a handsome amount of 100 creds. No one except for Liara noticed that Shepard hadn't given her anything, but she didn't say anything, assuming his present was the party.

After the presents, Liara's party started to wind down. So she decided to head to her cabin after saying goodnight to everyone. Once she reached her cabin she decided to do a little more research into Saren's capabilities.

An hour into her research she heard a knock on the door bewildered, she said, "Come in," and watched the Commander stride in. He had a small box in his hands and for the first time in the history of forever, Shepard looked shy. He extended the box out without a word and watched as she opened it. Inside she found a small rearing horse, with diamonds as eyes. She immediately loved it, but wondered why it was always back to horses with Shepard. Then she remembered the small Shepard she had seen in the meld.

…

Shepard had bought Liara a necklace for her birthday, but he quickly wondered why he had gotten a horse. Liara had never expressed interests in horses! Deep inside he knew why he had gotten a horse but he pushed that thought away, determined to enjoy her party.

Hours later when he had presented her the necklace, he was relieved that she seemed to like it. It was a fairly weird and out there for her, but it was nice looking, and he hoped it would make up for the cake debacle. In fact, Liara had been a good sport all through the party and he was glad that he hadn't driven her away with his pranks.

"So, do you like it?" Shepard asked.

Liara looked up from the necklace and replied," Oh yes, it's beautiful Shepard. It's probably one of the best presents I've ever gotten!" This made Shepard relax; his out of the blue purchase had been worth it.

"Do you think we celebrated sufficiently?" Commander Shepard asked, taking on a low tone.

"Not quite, I think I need one more thing," she said returning the same tone of voice.

"Oh? What is that Doctor?" During this whole exchange they had slowly been getting closer to each other. Now they were only inches apart.

"I think you know, Commander," Liara said, her voice barely a whisper. Their lips connected and they stood there for who knows how long kissing. Both could only concentrate on the sensations running through their bodies.

Shepard was stunned by how soft Liara's lips were. Liara was stunned by how great of a kisser Shepard was. Liara's lips parted slightly, so Shepard took that as an indicator to start exploring Liara's mouth. She tasted sweet and simple and the inside of her mouth was smooth.

When they finally pulled away, Shepard grasped her shoulders and said, "Happy Birthday Doctor Liara T'Soni." Then he walked out of the room leaving a slightly confused and very satisfied Asari.


	7. Kidnapping and Its Friends-Part 1

**Author's Note: This is hitting the T rating pretty hard. It's also pretty dark and extremely long compared to my other chapters. It will be split into two parts. You have been warned!**

**Chapter Seven, Part One: Kidnapping and Its Friends **

This mission was getting more boring by the second. They had been instructed to investigate suspicious activity, possibly Geth, but they had come across nothing. Liara knew that she had to keep alert on all missions but this was turning out to be a waste of their time. Even Commander Shepard, who was always as excited as a four year old during Christmas on missions, seemed bored and only going through the motions. Garrus didn't seemed very impressed with this assignment either.

They were in underground ruins. What looked like concrete slabs were littered across the area. There was a tunnel leading into the main cavern they were currently in. The only room was the main cavern.

"Well, we obviously haven't found any Geth activity, so I think we can head back to the Normand-, "Shepard started, before a bullet whizzed by his head. "GET DOWN!" This happened so fast that Liara didn't have time to get down before Shepard had yanked her downwards. He pushed her into a slab of concrete and gave her a small smile before ducking out of cover and firing at the enemy.

"Garrus, can you get a read on our enemy?" Shepard shouted at Garrus. Confused, Liara poked her head around the concrete slab and realized that whoever had fired on them was no longer visible.

"Negative, all I can pick up is multiple life forms behind a couple of those concrete slabs. About 15 meters away." Garrus responded, his eyes scanning his omni-tool and occasionally looking at his blue eye patch.

"How many? Keep your weapons tight people, we have unidentified hostiles!" the Commander shouted back, looking through the scope on his rifle.

"Around ten, it's hard to tell because their bunched up so much," Garrus stopped looking at all of his gadgets and snuck to the next piece of concrete, probably trying to get into a good position to use his sniper rifle. Liara readied a warp, hoping one of them would make a mistake.

She never got to use it as smoke grenades were hurled at them and her line of sight was obscured. Liara got ready to move out of cover and behind the next piece of concrete but Shepard yelled," Retreat, fall back!" Liara had honestly never known that Shepard knew the meaning of retreat, but he was her Commanding Officer and generally knew what the best course of action was. She ran towards the tunnel and saw someone else doing the same.

…

"Good, now tell them to meet outside the ruins or I will slit your throat and have my men slaughter your team," a voice whispered into Shepard's ear. He had been firing into the smoke when hands grabbed him from behind and pulled him behind a piece of concrete. The hands momentarily left his neck and shoulders only to return holding a knife.

"Meet me outside the ruins!" Shepard yelled, listening for Liara and Garrus' feet. When he heard them he relaxed a little, knowing that at least someone was safe. He tried to stand up a little more, since he had been forced to his knees, but the knife held to his neck nicked him.

"Sweet dreams, Commander Shepard," was the last thing he heard until the world turned black.

…

"Where the hell is he? He did say to meet him out here didn't he?" Garrus was pacing in front of Liara, making her even more nervous. They stood just outside of the ruins, the Mako was close by.

Liara nodded, worry making her unable to speak. She had clearly heard Shepard tell them to come outside.

After a pause in his pacing, Garrus pulled up his omni-tool, " Garrus to Normandy, Garrus to Normandy, do you read me?"

The response was immediate. Shepard's XO, Pressley," We read you ground team, what's the issue?"

Garrus sighed before answering, "Shepard is MIA."

"Repeat Ground team," Pressley had a quiver to his voice.

Before Garrus could answer, Liara replied, "Commander Shepard is MIA."

"Understood ground team, I am calling all non-essential personnel together. Wait for another twenty minutes, then get back to the Normandy. Also, be advised that night is approaching and the temperature will drop to hazardous conditions in thirty minutes," Pressley replied.

"Copy that," Liara replied, her voice audibly shaking. She looked over at Garrus, and he nodded. A silent agreement went between the two; they needed to go back inside the ruins.

"Shepard!" Liara and Garrus' voices echoed through the empty cavern. There wasn't any sign that just thirty minutes earlier they had been fighting an unknown enemy. Liara couldn't even see footprints. Nothing was out of the ordinary until they found another door in the rear of the cavern and slightly to the left. Garrus checked for life forms inside the door; there were none. When they walked into the cave, evidence of someone was there. When Liara saw the faint drag marks in the dirt she almost couldn't breathe.

It was clear that someone had used this tunnel to escape because when they reached the end of the tunnel it led to an opening to the cold air outside. Both Liara and Garrus knew they had to move to get to the Normandy before they froze, but they remained there staring at the ledge and the absence of their commander.

…

"… We waited ten minutes for Shepard but he was just…gone," Garrus told the entire crew of the Normandy, who were gathered in the conference room. The atmosphere was cold; Shepard could warm almost any situation up. Liara kept turning to Shepard's chair expecting a joke that was borderline inappropriate, she kept disappointing herself. Most of the crew was in shock, because the hero of the Skyllian Blitz didn't just get kidnapped.

"So that's it, Shepard has been kidnapped? Did you even see who took him?" Ashley Williams' voice rose with every word she said, disbelief dripping from her words.

"Yes, and we could've prevented it… we could've saved him," Liara said, her voice small and barely audible.

"Say again, Doctor," Chakwas was also in the room and she looked at Liara, searching for an answer like everyone else.

"We could've saved him," Liara said louder for the group. "I knew that something was wrong when he ordered us to retreat, but I never acted on it. If we hadn't waited outside so long for him, he would be here."

Before anyone could say anything else, Joker came on the comm," Admiral Hackett is sending us a live video now. He says it may be a link to the whereabouts of Shepard." The screen in the front of the room came to life, a grainy video was playing. It looked like there was a large room with a man seated in the middle, it took a moment to focus and the whole room gasped when they saw it was Commander Shepard in the middle.

…

Shepard flew back when he felt water being poured over his head, or at least he thought he had but the chair he sat in kept him firmly on the ground. When he came to his senses he realized that his hands were bound behind the chair and his shirt was off. He was face to face with a Batarian. "Finally, I have gotten the great Commander Shepard, hero of the Skyllian Blitz." He spat out the words, as if they burned his mouth to say them. "You are the person responsible for my… downgrade." Shepard had no idea what this loon was talking about and sincerely hoped that this was some alcohol-induced dream.

"I have no fucking idea what you're talking about!" Shepard mumbled to the Batarian, still groggy from just waking up. The rifle butt to the head was practically like getting a double shot of espresso through his veins; he was awake now.

"You ruined my reputation as a great Batarian raider. Remember the little stunt you pulled back at the Blitz? Well this is payback. Killing _the _Commander Shepard will surely earn my respect back and scare the Alliance," the Batarian prick pointed towards a camera, with another Batarian behind it.

"Who the hell is this being broadcast to?" Shepard was furious now. He was being used as a publicity stunt.

"Alliance Command and Batarian Warlords," he replied, his disgusting mouth forming an even worse smile. "Don't worry, I won't be gentle." His laughter echoed through the room as he signaled his partner to start rolling the camera. "Please state your name for the audience," the Batarian told Shepard, but Commander Shepard remained silent. The Batarian circled him and without warning punched him in the face; it would definitely leave a bruise.

"My name is Commander Colt Shepard," he said, his head still aching from the hit.

"Please state the name of your ship and achievements made in your military career," the Batarians voice was steady and calm.

"My ship is the SSV Normandy of the Systems Alliance Navy. Notable achievements in my military career are as follows: Skyllian Blitz, admissions into N7 school, graduation from N7 school and command of the SSV Normandy," Shepard said this almost mechanically, noting that he had been asked this question too many times to count.

"Let's talk about the Skyllian Blitz- , "before the Batarian could say anymore Shepard interrupted him.

"No, not the Skyllian Blitz," he said almost whispering.

…

Liara watched in horror as the Batarian punched Shepard squarely in the nose. A sickening crunch could be heard. The whole room gasped at the hit.

"What did you say?" the Batarian slaver asked, circling Shepard once more, a nasty glare in his eyes.

"I said I would not like to discuss the Skyllian Blitz with the likes of you!" Shepard was almost screaming now.

"I would suggest that you fully cooperate with me unless you want me wringing the neck on your pretty little Asari and your Turian friend," Liara saw Shepard snap straight up at the mention of the two. The Normandy crew glanced at Garrus and her, wondering why he was saying that when they sat comfortably in safety.

"Don't hurt them! What do you want to know about the Skyllian Blitz?" Shepard was obviously panicking at the mention of Garrus and Liara.

"Why did you go to Elysium?" the Batarian was clearly gloating now.

"I went to see a zoo, one of the best zoos in the galaxy," Shepard's back was straight as a board and he was keenly watching the Batarian now.

"Who'd you go with, Shepard," the Batarian asked, sneering.

"I went with- with Alexander Shepard," Shepard had closed his eyes now, his voice quivered.

"Who's that Commander Shepard?" The Batarian said.

Shepard mumbled something and the Batarian lashed out again, this time with his gun. "Louder!"

"He was my brother!" Shepard screamed that at the Batarian, his face bright red. The comm room was abuzz with questions like: Shepard has a brother, Where's he now, I thought Shepard grew up alone on the streets. Liara had caught a glimpse of his brother during the meld but this interrogation would probably go much farther into detail about him. "How old was he when you went to Elysium?"

"He had turned eleven that day," Shepard was slightly hyperventilating now.

Joker came over the comm. again, "Admiral Hackett just sent a message saying that they are tracking Shepard's location and be prepared to go in once his location is known."

…

"Let the records show that Shepard's brother was an adolescent in human years and his legal guardian was then Lieutenant Colt Shepard." The Batarian faced the camera, his words were slow, letting that all sink in. Shepard was near tears thinking about that day. "Please tell everyone about that day."

"Make me!" Shepard yelled at the Batarian. He was _not _going to share his past with half of the Alliance. The Batarian stalked up and hit him so hard in the face that he started losing consciousness. The room was fading to black and he could distantly hear the Batarian talking, actually he was mostly cursing. A minute later he felt his cheeks being slapped in an attempt to make him aware again. The slapping did nothing for Shepard as he slipped into unconsciousness.

What was probably only minutes later, Shepard felt water once again being poured over his face. He hesitantly opened his eyes, hoping he had been teleported to the Normandy and someone was pouring water on him in annoyance. Unfortunately, he knew he had no such luck as he watched a combination of water and blood streaming down his abdomen." If you don't stay awake for this, I'll shoot your kneecap off… or better yet your friend's kneecaps." Shepard nodded in understanding and waited for the next question.

"Since you don't feel like answering that question, I'll ask another. What happened to your brother? Please say your answer loudly for everyone." The Batarian was close to him, indication how easily he could hurt Shepard if his answer was unsatisfactory.

"He was taken by Batarian slavers on Elysium," Shepard admitted, he could hear his brother's voice calling out to him, telling him that he was being taken.

"Did you see him being taken by slavers?" the Batarians voice was menacing.

"Yes," Shepard replied, unable to stop himself from tearing up.

…

The whole room gasped, including Liara, at the fact that Commander Shepard had let his brother die. Crew members shifted uncomfortably in their chairs, everyone knew they should not be hearing this about their Commanding Officer. Liara was sick to her stomach as she watched Shepard admit that to some low life, criminal scum.

"So what you're saying is that you let Batarians kidnap your brother and you did nothing to stop it?" It was clear the Batarian knew all about what happened that day but he was just egging on the Commander.

"If-if I had stopped to save my brother every colonist on Elysium would have been dead, I had to let him go," Shepard's voice started out loud and his last words were quiet, barely audible in the small room.

"Well now that everyone knows the truth about the so-called hero of Elysium. I think it's time for the next segment," The Batarian was pointedly looking at the camera now; his beady eyes seemed to stare straight into Liara. A twisted smile stretched across his face, "How do you guys feel about watching Commander Shepard's execution?"

…

**Author's Note: Part Two will either be out tomorrow or the next day. Also, my friend once called Garrus' eye thing his blue eye patch since it's _everywhere _with him, so now it shall be called that forever in my fics. Hope you enjoyed!**


	8. Kidnapping and Its Friends-Part 2

**Chapter Seven Part Two: Kidnapping and Its Friends**

"Hackett has pinpointed Shepard's location. He is sending the coordinates to your omni-tools now," Joker announced to the people in the comm. room, his voice forcing them out of their stunned silence.

All at once the entire crew's omni-tools flared to life, coordinates awaiting them. Shepard was being held on a cruiser capable of housing up to 150 crew members. The ship was orbiting a small planet called Iris; Iris had a small trading colony on its surface. "All right people we need a plan and quickly! Any ideas?" Navigator Pressley asked, eyeing the room.

"I say we take a shuttle to their docking bay and fight our way to Shepard!" Wrex roared, his reptilian eyes sparking with fire.

"No!...No, we can't do that, if they knew we were trying to rescue Shepard they would kill him, and then swarm us. We're good but no way we can take one hundred and fifty people," Liara argued, she didn't know a lot about military strategy but she knew Wrex's plan was suicidal. "We have to do this stealthily, the Batarians can't know that we're here for Shepard."

The most nodded heads in agreement. "There's a trading colony below the Batarian ship. We could pretend to be traders," Ashley Williams announced in her confident and unwavering voice.

"Yes, but what happens when we get Shepard? They will know that we are intruders and one hundred and fifty angry Batarians will swarm us," Garrus argued, his eyes narrowed in thought.

"The Normandy is a stealth ship, capable of going in and out of stealth mode. If we could place the Normandy on the other side of the planet and go out of stealth long enough for the Batarians to notice, then BOOM, the Batarians are in their Battle Stations and a couple lowly trade people will never be noticed," Tali said, her voice rising with excitement. Everyone stared at Tali, amazed at her plan. "What? I may be an engineer but Shepard has taught me some tactics," Liara was preparing to feel jealousy until her thoughts were interrupted.

"Great idea Tali, who wants to go save the Commander?" Navigator Presley asked.

All hands shot up, save for Doctor Chakwas, who would be needed on the Normandy to prep for Shepard's injuries. "Ashley, Garrus, Liara and Wrex will go in. Find some civilian clothes and be ready in thirty minutes. We will arrive at the ship in forty minutes," Presley said, while everyone stood up and started prepping.

…

Everyone was able to find civilian clothes, save Wrex because Krogans didn't have civilian clothes and the only other option would have been to wear Turian clothes, which would have been a belly shirt on Wrex. "Alright people, remember you are traders and the idea of shooting or…," Presley glanced at Liara,"… turning them into soup is not something traders think about." The whole team nodded, although their faces were deeply disappointed. "We're going to let you out in a shuttle here," Presley pointed to a place on a holographic map, "The shuttle is quick so you'll get to the Batarian ship in about fifteen minutes, when you arrive tell them that it's for trading and they'll let you in. Good luck out there."

The shuttle they took was indeed fast and in seventeen minutes they had arrived at the Batarian ship. "State your business," a gravelly voice said over the shuttle's communicator.

"One of your crewmembers requested a trading party from the colony of Iris. Well here we are," Ashley spoke back, her voice lacking its usual sarcasm.

"Alright, docking bay 3 is where you're gonna wanna go," the graveled voice said back.

When they landed at docking bay 3, securities were low. In fact only seven Batarians greeted them when they landed. After thoroughly inspecting them, the 'trading party' was allowed to go but not before a Batarian spoke up. "Why is the Krogan in armor? Expecting a fight?" A Batarian said eyeing Wrex.

"Have you ever seen a Krogan not wearing armor?" Wrex muttered back.

"No I haven't, thank the gods," the Batarian said back, his worried expression fading. "Let em' through," The Batarian spoke into his omni-tool and then turned back to them," I'll lead you to the trading rooms."

"Fine but I need to tell the colony that we made it," Liara told the Batarian and after seeing him nod she opened up her omni-tool. "Trading Party 488 is on board, I repeat Trading Party 488 is on board."

"Iris colony reads you Trading Party 488," Joker's voice answered back.

Liara turned back to the Batarian,"Take us to the trading rooms." He nodded and turned to lead them. The ship was pretty large with at least three decks.

"You are not to leave the trading floor. Do you understand?" The rescue party was about to nod their heads in agreement when sirens started blaring.

"All crew members report to your battle stations we have an unidentified ship eleven clicks north of here," another equally nasty voice said over the ship's intercom.

"The trading room is the fourth door on your right down this hallway," the Batarian with them pointed down and a hallway and then scurried away to his battle station.

"I'll lead the way to Shepard; my omni-tool says that he's on the third floor. Remember that we get him and get out of here quickly with hopefully no fighting," Garrus told them and then turned and started walking up a staircase.

The staircase was completely empty and they had no problems reaching the third floor. When they walked onto the third floor, some Batarians were running around but nothing too serious. The group started to head to the door connecting to the room Shepard was in, and was pleasantly surprised to find that the Batarians were completely ignoring them. No doubt they saw the odd group of civilians walking around, but not one stopped them or said a word. The Normandy must have really been an intimidating sight. Unfortunately the Batarians weren't stupid enough to not post guards outside of Shepard's room.

The team walked up to the guards and Liara asked," Where are the trading rooms?"

"They're on floor one, marked pretty clearly, but you can stay with us and trade, sweetheart," the Batarian guard grinned and stepped towards Liara. Liara also stepped closer and reached out her hand. Just before she had almost touched his face, she slammed her hand in front of his mouth and shoved him through the slightly ajar door. He fell on his back into the room and tried to get up. Liara was quicker and snapped his neck in an instant. Garrus had snapped the neck of the other Batarian.

Three Batarians were in the room, and before they could react Lira had sent a warp at two of them, effectively turning them into a stain. Liara turned to the other Batarian but Wrex had just sent a warp at him, he too became an afterthought. Shepard was in the middle of the room, still tied to a chair and shirtless.

Liara ran over to him and saw that he was unconscious. Blood trickled out of his mouth and bruises covered his face. "Wrex, Shepard is unconscious; you're going to have to carry him!" Liara yelled to the Krogan, who turned and ran over to Shepard. He easily broke Shepard's bonds and threw him over his shoulder. Garrus and Ashley were at the door, ready for anyone who entered.

"We have to leave, NOW," Ashley yelled. Waves of Batarians were down the hallway and searching each room. "We go when I say so. We have to wait until they're in one of the rooms to move," Ashley told the group. A few seconds later she motioned her hand and everyone flew out of the room, gunning for the stairs. They could hear shouting behind them, and Liara realized that they had just entered the room Shepard was being held. She willed her legs to go faster because the Batarians would quickly realize where the intruders had gone.

Sure enough right when they reached the second floor, Batarians burst into the staircase, chasing after them. Everyone was quick though and the Batarians remained behind them and gained no ground on the group. Eventually they reached the first floor and sprinted for their shuttle. On the flat surface the Batarians had begun to gain and Liara knew they wouldn't reach the shuttle but she kept running. Then a hundred feet from the shuttle Liara turned around.

Ashley noticed the Asari's abrupt stop and yelled for her to keep running, but Liara ignored her. Liara was gathering all the strength she had left into her biotics. Blue swirls danced along her body and just when the Batarians had gotten to her she unleashed her biotics, sending the front Batarians flying and the ones behind got knocked down. Liara turned and somehow made herself get to the shuttle. She pulled her body into it and there she collapsed, utterly exhausted from her biotic effort. The last thing she saw was Shepard before she fell into unconsciousness.

…

** Author's Note: Chapter Seven exists because when I first played the game I thought the Batarian's retaliation against Shepard for the Skyllian Blitz was a little weak. I thought a couple bombs are fun to diffuse but why not turn it into a kidnapping? So I did exactly that.**

**On a different note the VGAs didn't give Mass Effect one award, one award! Personally the Mass Effect series is one of the best I've ever played and I think it should've won game of the year and game of the decade. I was extremely disappointed.**

**I would also like to apologize for the wait. I rewrote this chapter three times because the first two times just weren't right. I hope you enjoyed it though. **

**-Wolfstar888**


	9. Camera Ready Face

**Chapter Eight: Camera Ready Face**

_12 Years Earlier _

_"You've done so much already, why can't they just let you take a break?" A man in his mid thirties asked Captain Hannah Shepard. _

_"The Alliance needs me, you know I have to go," Hannah reached her hand out and gently placed it on the man's arm, giving him a small smile. _

_"How long will you be gone?" He asked, placing his hand on the side of Hannah's face. _

_"I don't know. I am going undercover in the Terminus; it could be years," the Captain didn't actually want to go but one does not simply say no to the Alliance. _

_"Years!" The man jumped back from her, panic glistening in his eyes. "What about Colt and Alex?" In a much quieter and resigned voice," They need you…I need you." _

_"They'll be fine, besides Colt's fifteen, almost an adult. He can handle himself. As for Alex, you'll be there for him," the Captain was doing an admirable job of not crying, but she knew that her breaking point was near. _

_"Who's going to be there for me?" the man had silent tears running down his cheeks. He grabbed Hannah's hands and ran his fingers over her knuckles. _

_"Colt and Alex will keep you company; besides, I shouldn't be longer than two years. I'll be home by the time Colt graduates and the Alliance will give me something quieter to do. Think of this as an investment into our future. I go for two years I never have to do a long tour again," Hannah now had tears streaming down her face, it was hard to keep it together for both of them._

_"Will you at least be able to contact us?" The man was barely holding himself together._

_"No, if I were to contact anyone outside of my assignment, then my cover would be blown," the Captain said, pulling the man into a hug. Nothing she said would be enough, they both knew it. _

…

The mechanical whirring of machines was the first thing Shepard heard when regained consciousness. Where the hell was he? He couldn't remember much and when he tried to open his eyes, a bright light assaulted them. He came to the conclusion that he was either in the med bay or last night had been one hell of a party. "Hello?" Shepard tried his voice, and surprisingly, it worked.

"Shepard, good you're awake. Everyone was worried about you, even though I kept telling them that you would be fine," Doctor Chakwas appeared in his line of vision and seemed to be checking him over.

"What's the damage, doc?" Shepard rasped, slowly building the courage to sit up.

"Some major bruising on your face and a pretty serious concussion. It's lucky you're so tough; I thought at least a couple of your facial bones would be broken, but nope, there's only bruising," Chakwas glanced up towards him and gave him a smile.

"When can I go back to duty?" Shepard didn't like the sound of a major concussion.

"Day after tomorrow is when you can be in combat, tomorrow you can do paperwork," Chakwas was now giving Shepard her full attention.

"So soon? I thought you were supposed to let concussions heal for a couple of weeks," Shepard propped himself up a tiny bit.

"A couple years ago they released a drug that helps the brain heal after a concussion; it works very quickly. You'll be good to go in just a couple days. In fact you can go to your cabin anytime you want," Chakwas had now moved away and was typing something in at her terminal.

"Thanks, doc," Shepard now pulled himself into a sitting position and prepared his legs. He had his casual Alliance wear on and his cabin was set in his sights. He slowly put one leg down and then the other and just stood. After a few minutes of just standing Shepard decided that his legs would be fine and he started towards the med bay doors.

"One more thing Shepard, your face is pretty badly bruised and will be for awhile. I'm afraid that your charming face will look more like the underside of a warthog for awhile," Doctor Chakwas was grinning quietly and all Shepard could do was scowl back and exit the med bay.

Shepard was scrubbing at his face and not paying very much attention when he walked out of the med bay. In fact, he didn't notice the whole non-essential crew waiting in the mess hall. He stood just outside the med bay doors and arched his back in a stretch, his features getting contorted into an ugly picture. Very slowly he opened his eyes and found around ten pairs of eyes staring back at him. "So, how do I look?" Shepard asked everyone; he was trying hard not to smile.

"Let's just say they won't be putting your face on any magazines this week," someone shouted, he couldn't tell who.

Shepard chuckled a little until realization dawned on him a little, "Wait… what do you mean this week?" The mess hall went silent; his crew glanced at each other and very slowly a magazine was handed up through them until Shepard got a hold of it.

The cover had a decent picture of Shepard on it and the caption by his picture said _Commander Shepard: Intergalactic Play Boy?_ He almost burst out laughing right there, he knew he had as much game as a Volus. When he flipped it to the section about himself there were various pictures of him with the female members of the crew. The whole article was about how he was probably dating everyone and their mother. Shepard was barely keeping himself from rolling on the ground laughing. Then an awful thought occurred to the commander: Has Liara seen this?

"Just when we thought that your ego would fill the entire Normandy and suffocate us all this happens; what's next, a whole Magazine dedicated to," Garrus paused to take the magazine from Shepard's hands and used what was probably meant to be girly voice," Commander Shepard's warrior poet eyes. Mystery, romance and raw sex appeal making up his irises." Everyone, including Shepard himself burst out laughing at the thought. It almost seemed like the Batarian incident was forgotten entirely, Shepard was glad. Reopening old wounds wasn't at the top of his To-Do List.

"I think a magazine about my ass would be much more appealing," Shepard said through fits of laughter. "Well I'd love to sit and chat with everyone but the doc told me that I need to rest today." Shepard said, heading towards his Commander cave. Before he entered, a thought struck him, "Garrus, why are you the one who seems to know the most about that article?"

…

"Shepard is _so _infuriating! I'm expecting him to walk out of here and talk to the crew about his kidnapping and what does he do? He talks about some dumb magazine!" Liara was in the med bay by now, talking to Doctor Chakwas, and she hoped to get information on Shepard's behavior.

"I know that it's frustrating when Shepard acts like nothing is wrong but it helps him," Chakwas placed her hand on Liara's shoulder and gave her a comforting smile.

"How exactly does it help him, Doctor?" Liara was getting frustrated at the lack of straightforwardness she had been receiving.

"It's a coping mechanism. If you were put into a situation where something like what happened to Shepard happened to you, would you want to talk to anyone about it, especially to your crew?" Liara was starting to understand, Chakwas' words made sense. "I think the best we can do for him is just be there when he needs us, pushing him for answers will only push him away," Chakwas gave Liara's shoulder a final pat before turning away to her terminal." I think you should go talk to him."

…

**Author's Note: I made a mistake in my last author note by saying that Mass Effect didn't win one award at the VGAs but it actually won Best RPG of the Year. Thank you Ripper1337 for pointing this out to me!**


	10. Worry, With Love Thrown In

**Chapter Nine: Worry, With Love Thrown In**

It had been two days since Shepard had gotten hurt and one day since Shepard and Liara's talk. They had talked about nothing in particular. Neither of them mentioned his kidnapping, his brother, or the word 'Batarian.' At first Liara had been a little mad at Shepard for not talking about it and especially for acting like that his bruises existed because he had run into a wall while on a particularly difficult journey to find a midnight snack.

Nothing changed; Shepard continued to act like a thirty-year-old asari child and Liara continued to act like she knew what his jokes meant. The crew said nothing besides their usual banter with the Commander and Liara felt like she had been dropped into an alternate universe. The talk with Chakwas helped Liara, but she still had some difficulty understanding Commander Shepard. Hands down he was probably the most confusing person she had ever met, but he was also the most interesting. He was like a Prothean dig site that needed to be uncovered and analyzed. Unlike a Prothean dig site, however; Commander Shepard would probably never be understood with the passage of time.

"All combat crew please meet in the conference room," Shepard sounded so uncharacteristically normal over the Normandy's comm. system. Liara could honestly say she had no idea what this was about and she could tell that Doctor Chakwas felt the same when she shrugged her shoulders as Liara passed.

When Liara entered the comm. room, everyone looked just as confused as she was. Shepard's back was turned to them and ever so slowly he turned his body to face them. He looked serious; this was new. "We're being called back to the Citadel, people. I'm not sure what for, but this feels fishy."

"Shepard?" Tali's hesitant voice spoke up, "Can you please clarify what you mean by 'feels fishy'?"

Shepard looked at Tali thoughtfully and chuckled a little," I keep forgetting that you guys don't know human speak. It means something isn't right. I can feel it in my gut. Don't worry though; it's probably just a tough piece of meat making me feel like this. Regardless, I just wanted to let everyone know why we were headed to the Citadel instead of Illos." The Commander turned his head around the room a little and then announced,"Crew dismissed." Liara caught Shepard on his way out.

"What do you think is going to happen on the Citadel?" Liara was concerned by Shepard's lack of jokes.

"I honestly have no idea, something is defiantly going to happen but what I'm not sure what; hopefully it's just something stupid," Shepard gave Liara his trademark smile but something was… off.

…

"Those bastards!" Shepard roared. "After all we've done for Udina, this is what we get?" Liara decided it was best not to say anything with Shepard this angry. Knowing him he would probably cool down in about five minutes. "I'll kill him, Liara, I will eventually! And you know what? I'll enjoy it!" Shepard said as he was sitting on the ground by his combat locker.

"Shepard, do you think that perhaps you might be a little dramatic?" Liara was trying her very best to not laugh at Shepard's threat. She offered her hand to him.

"Absolutely not! What's so funny T'Soni?" Shepard was now grinning at Liara, his anger dissolving completely. He took her hand and was immediately pulled into Liara.

"You're just cute when you're mad. It didn't help that your threat sounded so serious," Liara grinned back at Shepard and for the first time in her life she was involuntarily grinning. She wasn't being told to do it for some politician, she wasn't being taught about the proper grin for the proper time, and she was simply grinning because she wanted to. It felt like liberation and Liara loved it.

She had stopped talking when she realized that her heart was in her mouth. Shepard was inches away and giving her a smile she had never seen before. It made her head feel weak and before she knew what was happening she felt herself start to lean into Shepard. Liara couldn't tell if he was getting closer to her or if she was getting closer to him, or even better a combination of the two. In fact they were so close now that Liara had reached the stage where she started to close her eyes.

"Commander, Anderson is requesting to speak to you," Joker's voice came over the intercom and he sounded pleased with himself. Did Joker know what had almost happened? Liara blushed at the thought.

After Shepard muttered words that would make Wrex blush, he quickly apologized and left to talk to Anderson. Damn Joker and his intercom! Liara wondered if there was any way to convince Tali that a ship-wide intercom was detrimental to their mission.

…

No way was Shepard going to waste the opportunity Anderson gave him. His former Captain had staked his whole professional career on Shepard going to Illos. He knew that Anderson could be court marshaled for punching Udina, but Shepard secretly wished that he had been doing the punching.

When Anderson had given him the green light to go, Shepard all but rushed the cockpit to tell Joker to put the pedal to the metal, or whatever made the Normandy accelerate. Shepard was always like this before a mission, he realized. His emotions came in three stages: the first was excitement, the second was gut- wrenching worry and the third was a calm. When he made it to the worry stage, he always thought that he would lose his cool, but that never happened. Right when he thought that he would stay in his worried state of mind, calmness took over him and nothing bothered him. During a fight he had no emotions; if he saw a mangled body it didn't affect him. Only after missions did he think about the horrors he had seen. The calm he felt was probably what made him a great soldier- in that mode he was willing to give up anything for the good of the mission and that was precisely why he worried about bringing Liara on missions. He was only slightly worried about the enemy hurting her (he knew she could take care of herself) the thing that worried him the most was himself.

Shepard knew that if Liara dying was critical to mission success, he would let her die. He hated himself for it, the thought of how cold blooded he actually was made him almost vomit. To make maters worse, the subject of his worry was starting to walk towards him, a small smile on her face. _Oh God. _

"Shepard, I think we should speak in the Commander cave," Liara asked Shepard.

"Of course, Liara," Shepard started walking towards his cabin.

Once inside Liara leaned against his desk and looked a little sick. "Uhh… Liara, are you okay?" Shepard was wondering if she had a migraine or something because her hand was covering he face. "Do I need to get Doctor Chakwas?" Shepard almost ran to his cabin door before a hand stopped him.

"I am fine Commander; I am just… concerned about the upcoming mission," Liara was now looking at him now; her eyes were a little watery.

"What are you worried about Liara? I mean I'm pretty good with a gun, I hear," even Shepard's trademark grin could only produce a little smile from Liara.

"What if one of us is injured? What if one of us is killed? How do you know that you're not going to die?" Liara was now pacing his small cabin.

"Liara I know that because I'm scared. Commander Shepard is scared of dying. The day I'm not scared of death is the day I'll die and believe me, I'm scared right now. I'm scared for you and me, but that's good. It will make my aim sharper and my body more efficient," Shepard was trying desperately to make her feel better. She was almost to the point of tears and he wasn't sure he could keep himself together if that happened.

Liara stared at him for a couple seconds, probably trying to gauge if he really meant it. She seemed satisfied. "Shepard, let me stay with you until we reach the Mu Relay…please?" Liara was almost impossible to resist, what could he say?

"Alright Liara, you can stay. I could always use the company," Shepard gave her a smile; even he felt it was a bit fake.

"Thank you," she gave him a brilliant smile and slowly approached him. Neither one knew what happened but they ended up in a hug which turned into a heated kiss…

…

"Shepard, I just wanted to thank you before whatever happens, happens," Liara said, they were sitting on the edge of Shepard's bed. The pair was putting on armor for the upcoming mission.

"What for, Liara?" he momentarily stopped his actions to eye Liara, who was still putting on her armor.

"For everything," she replied glancing at him. Neither said a word for the rest of the time.


	11. An End, but Not Once and For All

**Chapter Ten: An End, But Not Once and For All**

It was never a good thing to be distracted during a fight. Shepard knew this and he was rarely, if ever, distracted. He tried to ignore the gnawing guilt he found when he had sent hundreds of humans to their deaths. He was fighting Saren and the only thing he could think of was the blood on his hands. It was painfully similar to another event… The Council was made up of heartless assholes, but yet Shepard had made the decision to save them. His reasoning being that they wouldn't forget that he had saved their asses. The sight of Liara's blue biotic glow surrounding her pulled Shepard out of his reverie. He noticed how exhausted she looked and knew he would have to end this fight quickly.

He took deep breathes and in a matter of seconds, his body was lining up with Saren's movements. There was only him and Saren now, no death or destruction, just the hunted and the hunter. With any luck he would be the hunter. The bastard darted around quickly, but Shepard was with him the whole time. He pulled off a few sots and knew Saren was getting weaker, perfect. His next shot hit Saren in the side of his head and Shepard watched as his head exploded. One part of him was disgusted by the sight, another part was thrilled.

…

Everything had been alright. Saren was dead and Shepard looked so _relieved. _It was a nice sight, a great sight. It was something that she had never seen on his face and for a moment the world was okay, until Sovereign started falling towards the chambers they were in.

"Run!" Shepard screamed at Wrex and Liara. He was looking over his shoulder at the looming shadow while he ran. Unfortunately, Shepard was several hundred yards behind Liara and Wrex and she wondered how Shepard was supposed to not be crushed, but all logical thought drained from her when feral panic took over. The only thought that was in her mind was go. So she did, and never once looked back towards Shepard.

The ceiling was literally caving in right on top of Liara. Every time she would try to run one way, a huge piece of metal, or plaster, or combination of the two would fall in front of her, effectively blocking her path. In fact Liara was so panicked now that she was running blindly anywhere and failed to notice the rather large pieces of metal falling her way. Something grabbed the back of her shirt/armor combo thing and pulled her down. She fought with all her might and punched and scratched blindly, but the thing holding her down didn't seem to be affected.

"Liara! Calm down, it's me Wrex. Goddamit, if you keep attacking me I'm gonna let you get crushed," Wrex's voice immediately calmed Liara and for the first time she actually _saw_ her surroundings. Wrex had managed to pull her into a small opening between pieces of metal and was holding her tight. Could it be that the great Krogan warlord was a little bit scared? No, impossible, he was probably just trying to get Liara to stop hitting him.

"Wrex? Is Shepard here?" It was dark inside their little cave and Liara couldn't tell if the whole squad was grouped inside.

"Yah… about that. Shepard isn't in here and I haven't seen him since the whole damn ceiling started raining down," his voice was nervous like he expected Liara to start going bat-shit crazy again. Liara was angry, Shepard didn't just disappear. He wasn't supposed to be crushed by some piece of metal. Shepard didn't just save the galaxy and not get to enjoy the peace he brought. He fought against a rogue Spectre, metal didn't hurt

Anger was replaced by numbness and she sat there in stunned silence. Liara kept replaying over and over in her mind how she had left Shepard and hadn't thought about anyone except herself. She felt sick.

Liara could have been sitting with Wrex for hours or minutes, she didn't know. Time was irrelevant in her shocked state. She clung to Wrex like he was her only life line. He said nothing.

Liara heard movement on the outside of their now entirely enclosed cave of metal. She was glad; a fight would take her mind off things. A biotic corona started to spin around her right hand as the shuffling grew closer. Wrex was also starting to shift around, a good sign that there were hostiles close.

"It's Anderson, anybody in there?" The Captain's voice was just on the other side of a piece of metal that enclosed Liara.

"Yes, yes! Doctor T'Soni and Wrex are in here," Liara called out; her voice sounded weak even to herself. The sound of metal against metal stung Liara's ears when Anderson started moving a piece of metal. In just a few short seconds Anderson had made it into the cave.

"Where's Shepard?" Anderson asked he was looking all around the cave. Liara had dreaded this moment. Telling other people that she had failed Shepard and had allowed him to be crushed was almost as bad as the thought of her boyfriend being dead. She couldn't even look Anderson in the face, but she did hear a small gasp escape him. Anderson looked as dazed as Liara felt, but he still somehow helped Liara and Wrex out of the alcove.

Light hit Liara in the face and she blinked hard, not registering that everything was completely destroyed around her. When she did open her eyes, nothing clicked. She looked at wreckage but did not see it. Her only thought was Shepard, there wasn't any room left in her brain to worry about the decimated Citadel. Somehow a small light of hope was lit in her chest; after all she had not seen Shepard being crushed.

A little off in the distance, metal could be heard moving around. Liara looked in its direction praying to anyone who would listen that it was Shepard. Wrex and Anderson were also fixated on the pile of metal. A seemingly endless wait ensued until a lone figure popped up on top of the pile. It was Shepard. He looked extremely serious as he surveyed the area, but when his eyes reached the trio and huge grin spread across his face. Liara was so relieved that Shepard was still alive and kicking it, that she failed to notice the way he was holding his arm or limping. When Shepard started stumbling down the hill, Liara could not contain her excitement. She rushed towards him, completely ignoring the calls from Anderson to be careful.

Liara reached Shepard in an impressive time and gave him a bear hug. "Hey, hey. Its okay, I'm okay. I won't be though if you continue to squash my broken arm." Shepard was returning the hug the best he could with only one hand.

"Oh Goddess, I'm sorry Shepard. I ju-just thought you were dead," Liara immediately pulled back and started to inspect Shepard. She was satisfied when his worst injury appeared to be his arm.

"The universe will have to do better than a piece of metal to do me in," he gave her a smile and a reassuring pat on the back. "Really, I'm okay." Anderson and Wrex were almost to the pair.

"Shepard, I think you're the only person who could survive the sky falling," Anderson walked up to Shepard and gave him a pat on the shoulder.

"Chicken Little better watch his back then," the two humans shared a good laugh while Liara and Wrex stared dumbly at them.

"In all seriousness Shepard, how are you?" Anderson asked the human Spectre.

"I'm so damn tired, it's like all the tiredness I should've felt over the course of this mission has finally caught up to me. On the bright side, however; I get to go on shore leave now," Shepard winked at Liara, and she turned away embarrassed. Anderson looked between the two but said nothing more of it.

"Come on guys, I think its time to go," Anderson said while he turned away. No one paid attention to destruction around them.


	12. Thessia Vacation

**Chapter Eleven:Thessia Vacation**

Day One

"Look at these ruins Shepard! How could the Protheans build something so massive and leave so little behind?" Liara T'Soni asked, staring in wonder at a large edifice that towered over her. It was more than fifty thousand years old and yet it looked great, almost pristine. Liara expected to find nothing in there, of course, but no ever said she couldn't admire the structure itself.

"It's very nice Liara," Shepard said in a forced voice. When Liara turned around to ask him what that was all about, she found that he was completely turned around and not even _looking _at the ruins.

"What's your favorite part of it Shepard? The way it curves to the left or its white surface?" Liara was a little more than slightly agitated.

"I like how it curves to the left, the white paint is just a bonus," Shepard was still talking in that distant voice, he seemed to be looking at something in the distance.

"That's interesting because it seems to be painted black and curving right," she knew this would get Shepard to turn around.

"I'm sorry Liara," he turned slowly," I just thought I saw something, but it turns out I'm just crazy." He did quite a good job of looking shameful, so Liara decided to let him off the hook.

"Tell me something I don't know," she turned back around to hide the smile that plastered her face. She heard sobbing behind her and once again turned back around, how did Shepard manage to hurt himself on friendly Thessia? "Shepard, what's wrong?"

"I just never thought this day would come," he was still sobbing and Liara had absolutely no idea about what he was talking about. "Let the records show that Liara T'Soni made her first joke today," Shepard was peeking one eye out from behind his hands, showing that he wasn't crying at all.

Liara couldn't help but laugh at the whole thing," You're a good actor, Colt. I actually thought you had gotten hurt." She didn't mean to use his first name, but it just came out. She glanced nervously at Shepard expecting him to be upset by the use of his first name, but he was still grinning like an idiot. Thank the Goddess he was so hard to offend. "Come on, let's go see the ruins."

"Yes ma'am," he then proceeded to do the sloppiest salute she had ever seen. The ruins weren't too far away, which was good because Shepard wasn't supposed to over use his right leg for a couple days. He had broken his left arm and sprained his right ankle, both were healed in a day, but the doctors wanted to make sure that he didn't aggravate his ankle. They were allowed to take a four day vacation before Shepard had to get ready for a new assignment.

Liara had been to many, many Prothean ruins and yet she never grew tired of them. She knew that there wouldn't be anything new but she liked to think about how she was currently walking somewhere that Protheans had walked.

"So what do you expect to find in here?" They were finally in the ruins and Shepard glanced all around their surroundings.

"Nothing," Liara knew that her answer would only frustrate Shepard, but it was the truth.

"You sure this is the thing you want to do on our vacation? I mean finding nothing sounds fantastic but I don't know… we could always just stay in our hotel," Shepard was right beside her when he said that and when Liara turned to look at him, he waggled his eyebrows in a suggestive manner.

"As appealing as that sounds, I've never been to these ruins and-"Liara stopped talking when Shepard had whipped his head around and was staring intently behind them.

As quietly as possible Liara asked, "What's wrong Shepard?"

"I just thought I heard something, sorry. Please continue," That's how their day went. Liara wondered around the ruins examining anything she thought was interesting, while Shepard tried his very best to look interested.

…

Day Two

"The object of the game is to get this ball into the other person's portion of the field. Whoever gets it into the goal the most wins," Shepard and Liara were in a park on Thessia. After many attempts to teach Liara about American football, Shepard had slowly eliminated different rules until it was just: get the ball past your opponent and into the goal.

"That makes a lot more sense than your previous renditions of the rules," Liara replied, still clearly not convinced that humans played such a confusing game.

"Well half the fun of football is trying to understand what's happening," Shepard said. "You can have the ball first as you're the lady." Liara took the ball from Shepard's hands and grinned evilly at him. "Umm… Liara maybe I didn't make this clear, but another rule of the game is to not kill you opponent."

"Don't worry," she said simply, and then turned towards her side of the field. Shepard was starting to have doubts about teaching Liara.

Shepard was positioned ready to block when she tried to get past him. T'Soni was in position too, so Shepard called out for the game to begin. Almost immediately Liara charged towards Shepard, an easy block he thought. She was about two feet from him when her hand glowed with blue energy. _Oh shit._ Had Liara lost her mind, sure he was Commander Shepard but his insides didn't take a liking to being warped. Blue energy hit him and he rose up in the air paralyzed. He spun around in the air and watched Liara run past him into his goal. She did this weird little dance (it was actually really cute but Shepard refused to be distracted) and it went on for a long time. Finally she stopped and the pull he had gotten sucked into disappeared and he fell to the ground in a storm of swear words.

"That was cheating!" Shepard said after he managed to stagger on to his feet.

"You never said I couldn't use biotics, so I just simply used all my resources," Shepard tried hard to keep up his angry aurora, but it was nearly impossible with Liara in such a good mood.

Shepard used a very scientific voice when he said, "I liked your victory dance, however. I can certainly see why Asari are dancers."

…

Day Three

Doctor T'Soni couldn't wait to use the hot tub in their hotel and she was sure Shepard wouldn't complain either. "The hot tub looks really nice, I think we should go." The couple was sitting on the couch watching television, but Liara had her sights set on convincing Shepard of the hot tub's superiority to the couch.

Shepard turned his body slightly and looked at her, "Is that so? I think I might need some more convincing because the news is pretty interesting."

Liara was running her hand up and down Shepard's arm, "Well, let's see. I'll be in a bathing suit-."

"Let's go right now!" Shepard was extremely enthusiastic.

"Sounds like a plan, let me get ready," Liara got up to get her bathing suit and left a very happy Shepard on the couch.

The trip to the pool was very uneventful since the pair had put on clothes over their swim suits, although Shepard did keep glancing around as if he expected Geth to fly out of nearby potted plants. It was kind of a weird time to be vacationing, so there weren't lots of other guests. The hot tub looked as luxurious as Liara had imagined it would be. Settling in it was a little difficult because of the temperature but all was soon forgotten when she turned around to look for Shepard. He was currently taking off his shirt and she couldn't do anything besides stare. When he looked up and saw her staring a massive smile lit his whole face.

"You know it's impolite to stare," Shepard got into the hot tub next to Liara and pulled her close.

Liara was too embarrassed to say anything besides, "The bubbles are relaxing."

"Yah, just wait until I turn on the hot tub's bubbles," Shepard fell silent and the realization of his sentence's implications suddenly dawned on Liara. _Oh Goddess._ "That was a joke Liara."

…

Day Four

_"We won't be out long, dad. I promise I'll take care of Alex," Shepard was talking to his dad. _

_ "Fine, but don't stay out past dark, you know what New York is like," his father replied, placing a massive hand on Shepard's shoulder._

...

"_Hey where do you think those sirens are going?" Alex asked Shepard. _

_ "No idea, but we better get going, Dad will worry about us," he replied, starting to jog towards his house. _

…

"Shepard, wake up!" Shepard opened his eyes and realized that Liara was shaking him.

"Hey, I'm okay. I just had a bad dream," Shepard sat up in the hotel's bed and peered around the room, just to make sure it was real life.

"You were mumbling and thrashing around," Liara looked down at him, concern written all over her face.

"It was just a dream; let's not let it ruin our last day of vacation. I was thinking about taking some pictures today because we haven't taken even one so far. Our omni-tools can do that for us," Shepard was getting ready for the day now.

Liara had taken around a thousand photos of Shepard before it was three in the afternoon and Shepard decided that they needed a photo with both of them in it. First pictures of Shepard kissing Liara on the cheek but that changed to arms over the shoulder and that type of thing. Once Shepard had sat down on a rock all by himself and Liara had managed to take an unusual picture of him. He was usually smiling or doing something stupid in pictures but in this one he was looking to his right with the saddest expression Liara had ever seen. She almost deleted it.

…

**Author's Note: This chapter was very hard to write. Sorry for the delay but it was hard trying to decide on what Liara and Shepard would do on vacation. I mean Shepard was usually killing and blowing stuff up, not sipping on a margarita in paradise. I actually wrote a couple chapters that started after this one because of the difficulty I had. The good news is that since I've already written the chapter after this one, you should be seeing an update tomorrow.**


	13. The Problem With Space

**Chapter 12: The Problem With Space**

"So… how did you like our little vacation?" Commander Shepard asked Doctor Liara T'Soni. They were lying in Shepard's bed curled up together. They had returned back to the_ Normandy_ a day ago from their Thessia vacation.

"It was very nice, Shepard. I especially liked taking photos," Liara replied, leaning in to kiss Shepard on the cheek.

Shepard turned his head sideways and looked her over," You don't seem like someone who would like their picture being taken."

"Are you calling me ugly, Commander?" Liara was kidding of course,but Shepard, being ever oblivious, didn't pick up on it.

"Of course not, Liara! I didn't- that didn't come out right. Let me start again. You're just shy and I didn't know you liked your picture being taken," Shepard had turned a curious shade of red.

"I'm kidding Shepard! I think you're going to have to give me a kiss, so I defiantly know that I'm not ugly," Shepard leaned down a little and kissed Liara on the cheek, she had a sly smile painted across her features.

"I think I need to buy a mod-," Suddenly alarms started going off and Shepard jumped of the bed. "Liara, go to the armory and get your armor on, quickly!" Shepard was already heading towards the door.

Liara knew Shepard was right but she didn't want to leave him. She started down towards the armory when the _Normandy's_ preprogrammed emergency protocols started going off. "Unidentified ship sixty seven clicks from this vessel. All personnel need to get protective clothing on. All personnel head to battle stations."

Liara was now running to the armory to retrieve her armor. Fellow crewmates were also doing the same and she was thankful that everyone's breather suits were a couple feet from each other. The emergency voice once again boomed across the ship, **"****Warning, Warning: Unidentified ship is approaching on an intercept trajectory. All personnel must have on breather suits."**

Liara was now wearing her own breather suit and she was determined to find Shepard. That was when the _Normandy_ was first hit. The preprogrammed voice came over the intercom again,**" Hostile ship detected. All cre-."** The voice was cut off by another hit from the unknown ship. **"Warning, Warning: Multiple hull breaches, kinetic barriers are down and weapons are offline."**

Liara was racing to where she thought Shepard should be. Crewmembers were streaming past her and she nearly fell when she hit someone. By now Joker was doing evasive maneuvers and Liara kept getting tossed around. It was a good thing that she was wearing armor.

Liara paid little attention to her surroundings until Ashley caught her by the arm. "Joker won't get out of the cockpit. Where's Shepard, I need to tell him!"

"Don't worry, I'll tell him, just get to an escape pod!" Ashley nodded and ran off again, calling to crewmembers to get in escape pods. Liara kept running and could hear screams as her fellow crewmates burned to death or died in an explosion. She didn't stop. Liara found Shepard exactly where she thought he would be, prepping a distress beacon for the Normandy.

"Shepard, we have to go!" Liara pulled on her breather helmet and watched in relief as Shepard did the same. Then what Ashley said crossed her mind,"Joker won't leave the cockpit!"

"The beacon is ready for launch. Liara, get to an escape pod!" Shepard was about to say more but an explosion knocked Liara off balance and he caught her. "You need to get the crew to escape pods, I'll get Joker!" He started to walk away.

"Shepard, I'm not leaving you!" Liara had decided long ago that she wouldn't leave him for anything.

"You have to go! Don't worry about me, the Alliance will come and get all the escape pods eventually. I'll hall Joker's ass out of here but I can't be useful if I know that you're not safe. Go!" Shepard had desperation in his voice.

"Shepard!" She couldn't say anything else. Liara somehow let out all of her emotion with just one word.

"You have to get out here Liara, you have to go now!" Liara knew that tone of voice and didn't argue. She raced back toward the escape pods.

…

Shepard launched the distress beacon and went as fast as he could to the cockpit. His whole ship was in ruins. Cables hung everywhere and fires raged at every place Shepard looked. He didn't see anybody dead, thank God. He trotted up the stairs and wondered what would be beyond the doors he had reached.

The _Normandy_ was so blown apart that he could see the stars and the glow of a nearby planet. A huge gaping hole was in the roof of his ship. Walking in zero gravity was a slow process and the vacuum of space allowed him only to hear his own elevated breathing.

"Joker, we have to go!" Shepard was glancing around hoping that the ship wouldn't do another attack.

"No, the _Normandy_ is still salvageable," Joker replied back, still staring at his screen.

"The _Normandy_ is dead, Joker. It would be stupid of us to join her. Come on, we can still get to an escape pod," Shepard didn't wait for an answer as he grabbed Joker's arm and yanked him out of his chair.

"Geez Commander, take it easy," Joker was now wobbling towards the escape pod with Shepard in tow.

"I don't have time to be gentle- hurry!" Shepard was tempted to pick Joker up, but refrained from doing so, his reasoning being Vrolick's Syndrome.

The escape pod was just a few feet from the cockpit and in a few agonizing seconds they were there. Shepard shoved Joker in the escape pod and started pulling himself in when an explosion knocked him out of the pod. He hung onto a piece of metal with the button to launch the pod. He heard Joker scream his name but Shepard knew there was no way he was going to get to the escape pod, so he pressed the button and watched the pod propel away. None too soon either, as another attack from the ship made Shepard fly back into a piece of metal.

He hit his head pretty hard, but aside from that Shepard was no worse for wear. If the Alliance arrived soon then he would be rescued before entering the nearby planet's atmosphere. How perfec-,_"Warning: Your oxygen levels are depleting quickly. Recommend checking your oxygen hose."_ _Shit. _

…

Liara was worried about Shepard. Not too worried though, he was very capable in situations such as this. She was on an escape pod with Doctor Chakwas and a few other crewmembers she didn't remember the names of. They all sat in silence and stared at anything but each other until Doctor Chakwas' omni-tool pinged and came to life.

"What's happening, doc?" one of Liara's crewmates said.

"I programmed it to take biological readings for each of the ground team. Some one must be hurt if it went off," everyone in the small pod looked at Liara and she knew they were thinking the same thing: Shepard.

Before anyone could say anything a voice sounded from Chakwas' omni-tool, _"Commander Colt Shepard's vitals are dropping, recommend immediate medical attention."_

Doctor Chakwas' brows furrowed together as she pressed a few buttons on her omni-tool. "Commander, it's Doctor Chakwas, can you hear me?"

A few heavy breaths later and Shepard replied,"I read you doc…I'm not doing too well." No one said a word.

"My oxygen hose is," a few labored breaths, "ruptured." Liara felt tears starting to stream down her face. "Damn, its getting hard to breathe."

"Shepard, listen to me…," Chakwas said sternly back to him before she was cut off.

"No, just tell me something nice, don't let me die in silence," Shepard replied back his breathing getting heavier.

"Liara is here Commander," Chakwas was crying now.

"Liara?" Movement could be heard on Shepard's end. "God…hope…I suffocate before… enter atmo." Almost everyone in the pod was bawling now.

Chakwas' omni-tool started talking again, "_Commander Colt Shepard's vitals are reaching critical levels. Immediate medical attention is required."_

Liara spoke up, "Please don't leave me."

"So…sorry," Shepard's was breathing extremely heavily.

His breather suit could be heard in the background,_"Oxygen levels at one percent. Return to hospitable conditions."_ Shepard's breathes were shallow and slowing down. _"Oxygen levels now at zero percent."_

He didn't respond and everyone knew Shepard was probably unconscious by now. Doctor Chakwas' omni-tool went off once more, _"Commander Colt Shepard needs immediate medical attention. Oxygen depletion will cause permanent brain damage if not treated in three minutes."_ Shepard was hyper-ventilating for a couple of minutes and then…nothing. _"Commander Colt Shepard requires emergency restart of the heart."_

Liara's future was as cold and dead as Commander Shepard.


	14. A Battle

**Chapter Thirteen: A Battle**

"Welcome back Captain," Admiral Hackett was standing in his office talking to Captain Hannah Shepard. One of his teams had managed to rescue Hannah from Batarians in the Terminus. He was glad that at least one Shepard would be around; they had proven themselves in battle countless times. Hannah would have probably been more famous for her prowess in battle if she had not been eclipsed by her son. She didn't seem to mind though, she was never one for the spotlight-Colt enjoyed that much more.

"It's nice to be back, Admiral. How long was I gone, exactly? Time gets twisted when you're imprisoned," the Captain was very thin, too thin. Guess she didn't get fed much for twelve years.

"Twelve years, Captain," Hackett could not imagine losing twelve years of your life.

"That would mean that Rowan is forty eight, Alex would be twenty three and Colt would be twenty eight. I've missed so much of their lives," Hannah said the last part in a whisper. "Where do they live? Do you have everyone's address? What are Colt and Alex doing? I imagine Colt is probably doing something with animals; Alex is probably some tech consultant." Hannah's words were rushed with excitement. Her once dull eyes were now bright and bursting with life. Hackett hated to ruin this mood in anyone.

He barely contained a sad sigh, "Captain…I think we need to talk."

…

Liara sat on a couch, in an apartment. She had no idea how she had gotten there. She couldn't remember anything after Shepard's death. She only knew that she was on a part of the Citadel that wasn't damaged.

The apartment was disgusting, it had a musty, had a damp odor and the atmosphere was just gloomy. Liara liked it because it fit her mood. She thought that perhaps Doctor Chakwas had taken her there but that could've been her imagination thinking that she had. In any case, it didn't matter; only that she was there now. The couch was uncomfortable and grimy, but Liara didn't pay attention to that, all her focus was on an object on the table in front of her.

Shepard had demanded that she learn how to use a gun and had given her a Judgment pistol to practice with. She had learned to use it a little, at least enough to know where the safety was. She had taken the safety off long ago. The irony was not lost on Liara seeing as she was about to use a pistol called the Judgment.

Several times she had reached for it and had just felt the cool metal in her hand. For some reason its temperature reassured Liara. She no longer felt anything, and she wondered if Shepard felt the same way as he died. _Shepard._ Liara closed her eyes for a little and saw his smiling face. This only made her surer of her plan. Life without Shepard was unimaginable and she had already chosen not to live in that nightmare.

Liara picked up the Judgment pistol and studied it a second. Its elegant curves reminded her of Asari architecture. The barrel was just as cold as the handle she found. Once again Liara closed her eyes and moved the pistol's barrel around on her temple.

…

Doctor Chakwas was extremely grateful that the Alliance had left Liara alone. They had just held a formal inquiry into the death of Commander Colt Shepard, and they had called everyone in his crew to talk about it, except Liara. Chakwas knew that eventually they would need to talk to Liara, but for now she had been left alone. If they had interviewed her about it, Chakwas was fairly certain that Liara would break.

Doctor Chakwas had taken Liara to an apartment on the Citadel after an Alliance frigate had rescued the escape pods. It was ratty and generally unfit for anyone, but Chakwas couldn't find anything else. Doctor T'Soni hadn't spoken a word since she heard Shepard dying but that didn't worry Chakwas, it was a traumatic experience.

When Chakwas entered the apartment, everything was eerily quiet. "Liara! I'm back!" she called out, hoping to coax Liara out. No reply, however, so she continued to the main room of the grungy apartment. She saw Liara sitting on the couch. "There you are, I got some food for us." Chakwas moved closer and realized that Liara had her hand up to her head. "Liara are you okay?"

Liara sprung up from the couch and turned to Chakwas. She had a gun to her temple and she glowed with biotic energy. "Liara, hold on a minute. I think you should think about this." Chakwas had her hands in the air to indicate she didn't have a weapon or anything else.

Liara had such a lost look on her face and she looked at Chakwas like she were in a dream. "Don't do this! What would Shepard say if he knew what was happening?" Although Chakwas had been to basic training many,_ many_ years ago she was prepared to tackle Liara.

"That's the point, Shepard isn't here. It doesn't matter what he would say because he can't say it now," Liara replied, her voice was scratchy and sounded like it hadn't been used in decades.

"I knew Colt for a long time Liara. I know that he wouldn't have wanted you to waste your life. You know that, so don't make any rash decisions," Chakwas saw that Liara's eyes grew clearer. "People care about you. Don't do this to them," Doctor Chakwas was slowly moving towards T'Soni. Liara just sat there and stared at Chakwas, seemingly going through her words. Her hand with the gun was trembling and very slowly her finger started moving off the trigger. Chakwas took this as a good sign and started walking towards her more quickly. "Good job, now just put down the gun and we'll forget this ever happened."

Liara's hand started to lower the gun and she gently placed it on the table in front of her. She slouched down and started to fall on her knees. Chakwas rushed forward and caught her, moving the gun far away while she did so. Doctor T'Soni hugged Chakwas tight and she sobbed softly into her shoulder. "Why'd he have to leave? Why'd he have to go?" Liara whispered in between sobs. "He was alive and well only three days ago. How'd he go from completely fine to dead?" Doctor Chakwas knew these were rhetorical questions and she didn't say anything. Nothing she could say to Liara would make it any better.


	15. Eyes

**Author's Note: This chapter is inspired by 17986's feedback.**

**Chapter Fourteen: Eyes**

"Captain, perhaps you should sit for this," Hackett told Hannah, gesturing towards a seat in front of his desk.

"Why? Is there a lot of information I should be writing down? Can I get a notepad?" Hannah leaned forward. She would have been jumping up and down in excitement if she had not been so professional.

"I don't think you'll need a notepad for this," Hackett replied, already thinking about the half a bottle of scotch he could drink later tonight.

"What do you mean, Sir?" she asked, still oblivious to the situation in which she was currently in.

"I have some…sad news about your family. I really think you should sit down," Hackett was getting a little annoyed at her refusal to sit, but she obeyed him and sat. "There is no easy way to say this, so I'm just going to it. My records are showing that in twenty one seventy one, your husband," Hackett took in a large breath," burned to death in a house fire."

The room was eerily silent and Hackett watched as Hannah's face went completely blank; no more excitement.

"He was in the residence that you still have on your papers listed as your home. I'm sorry but they had to demolish it," Hackett had known that he would have to tell her horrible news about her family but hadn't realized that he also had to tell her that she was homeless.

"Wh-what about my boys?" Hannah asked, her voice was thick with emotion.

"Alexander Shepard was killed in twenty one seventy five on a colony called Elysium. Well, technically he is still missing because Batarian slavers kidnapped him," Hackett told the Captain- years of having to do this sort of thing made his voice strong and unwavering. Sometimes he hated this job.

"Colt?" Hackett could tell that she was on the verge of breaking down in tears.

"Three days ago, his ship, the _SSV Normandy_, was attacked by an unknown enemy. He went down with her," Hackett knew that this would put her over the edge but surprisingly she just stared at him, no emotion. "He's a hero, Hannah. Look anywhere and you can see posters of him and people singing his praise. Around a month ago he saved the entire Citadel; he saved millions."

"Colt's in the Alliance?" the Captain managed.

"Yes, he is-was Commander Shepard, Savior of the Citadel. He was the first human Spectre. He was one of the best soldiers the Alliance has ever seen," Hackett tried his very best to make her loss better.

"The funeral?" she choked out.

"The memorial is scheduled the day after tomorrow. It's going to take place on the Citadel," Hackett would be attending and giving his usual speech about how Shepard was a credit to humanity but everyone still needed to live their lives.

"Where do I go?" Hannah asked, it was a fair question considering she was now homeless.

"Look, you're going to be compensated from Colt's death by the Alliance. I don't handle that, so I'm not sure how much, but at least a few hundred thousand creds," Hackett explained." I imagine that you will probably be compensated for Philip's death. I'm not sure about Alexander's kidnapping, but at the end of it you'll have some money, as in enough to buy another house. If you don't, contact me and I'll take care of it."

"Thank you, sir," she mumbled, still looking very dazed.

"The Alliance takes care of its own, but if you're wondering where to go right now, I can give you a few suggestions," He grabbed a pad from his desk and started jotting down an address and name. "I would go to the Citadel and go to the address I'm writing down now. This is the apartment of one Doctor Karin Chakwas and Doctor Liara T'Soni, they were close to Shepard and I'm sure they'll get you situated."

She only nodded and took the paper from him.

"Do you need transportation to the Citadel Captain?" Colt had given too much to not have his relatives taken care of.

"Yes."

…

Liara hadn't left her apartment in days. She tried once but within two minutes she had seen a picture of Shepard and she had to go back. The main vid screen in the apartment was rarely on, and when it was a kid's show playing. Liara wouldn't be able to watch the news when Shepard's face was painted all over it.

Doctor Chakwas was very helpful; she brought Liara food and kept her company all day. Neither said much but just being there was enough. Liara knew that Colt's memorial was coming up, but she kept debating with herself about going. Some days she was determined to honor Shepard and other days she didn't think she would be able to make it through the ceremony. She was probably supposed to make a speech about him, but all of her agreed that was out of the question.

Outside a couple windows, posters featuring Commander Shepard were _everywhere_. They were recruitment posters with him doing everything from shooting at an unknown enemy to talking to his crew; Liara thought she saw one of her hands in one poster. The wording was different on every poster but it was essentially the same thing: join the Alliance and become a hero like Commander Shepard! She had to wonder if Shepard would have been okay with his appearance being used in recruitment posters.

"Liara! What do you want for dinner?" Chakwas called from some other room in the apartment.

"I don't kn-," Liara called back before being interrupted by someone buzzing the apartment. "I'll get it!" she yelled into the house, hoping Karin could hear her. Liara didn't think about who could have been at the door, she just opened it.

Liara found herself staring into the eyes of Commander Shepard.


	16. Like Mother, Like Son

**Chapter Fifteen: Like Mother, Like Son**

Liara thought that she would have never seen those uncharacteristically intense eyes ever again but here she was, staring into them. It took her a moment to realize that the features surrounding the eyes were distinctly feminine. The familiar eyes were bloodshot, something she had never seen on Shepard.

"You must be Doctor T'Soni," the woman's voice was hoarse, "I was told that you may be able to help me."

Liara didn't respond for awhile - the shock of seeing those eyes was overwhelming, "Please come in."

Together Liara and the woman shuffled into the apartment, their gaits very similar. Both walked as if they were stuck in slow motion. "Liara, who was at the door?" Doctor Chakwas yelled from some other room in the apartment, however, Liara didn't respond. She was half hoping no response would bring Chakwas from her room because she really couldn't talk at the moment. The pair approached the couch and sat down, not looking at each other. Neither said a word.

"Jesus, Liara, are you okay?" Doctor Chakwas flew out of the bedroom next to the door. She came up next to Liara and was about to say something until she noticed the other woman sitting on the opposite side of the couch. "Umm… hello there. Can we help you?" When the woman turned her head; Chakwas inhaled quickly and stared at her. Liara figured that she had seen the eyes.

"My name is Captain Hannah Shepard and Admiral Hackett sent me here," the poor lady still had that feral look about her, but Chakwas was quick to recover.

"If you don't mind me asking, are you related to Commander Colt Shepard?" Doctor Chakwas was remarkably good at regaining her composure; her moment of disbelief was forgotten.

"I am-was his mother," she replied, her eyes were looking at something far in the distance. Liara wondered if she looked so out of it... probably. Shepard had the affect of making people care a lot about him. Sometimes even Doctor Chakwas looked this disheveled.

"I trust you've that you've heard then," Chakwas' voice was gentle.

"Hackett just told me. For the past twelve years, I've been undercover or in a Batarian prison," she replied back to Chakwas. Her voice then continued at a whisper and silent tears ran down her cheeks," I just learned that my whole family is dead." The room was quiet; not even the sound of traffic could be heard. Liara had absolutely no idea what to say. On one hand she was kind of in the same boat. Her mom and boyfriend were dead, while her dad was probably dead, plus she didn't have siblings. It was different though, she'd had years to adjust to the idea of no dad and while she didn't want to kill her mom, it was a necessary evil. "I didn't have any information about Shepard's… so he told me to come here."

"Of course we'll try to tell you all we can," Liara said, surprising even herself by talking.

"How did he… you know," Hannah was obviously having a very hard time keeping her tears at bay.

"He suffocated," Liara replied, this comment pulling her back to Shepard's final moments.

"Were you two close?" the Captain was talking to Liara.

"Yes. Yes we were," Liara said nothing more but she could tell that Hannah understood that she and Shepard were more than friends. Before Liara could read into Hannah's personality a knock came at the door. Chakwas stood up and walked to the front of the apartment, probably relieved to get away from a conversation that left her as the third wheel.

"It's a package," Chakwas said when she walked back towards the group, a small box in her hands. "Should we open it?"

"Yes," Hannah told Chakwas, while handing her a small knife that hadn't been there a moment ago. Karin took it and ripped through the tape quite easily. She reached in and pulled out a small piece of paper. "It says: Meet me at the Dark Rose. I have something you might be interested in."

Liara sprung up from the filthy couch and hurried to put on a jacket. "Wait a minute, what if this is a trap?" Chakwas was watching Liara with a worried expression.

"But what if it's about Shepard? We can't just ignore it. Besides, I'm fully capable of taking care of myself," Liara would not be stopped by the good doctor, no matter how just her concern was.

"I'll go too, you may need help," Hannah was starting to stand and already her eyes were clearing up. In a few minutes it would be like she had never even cried.

…

Doctor Liara T'Soni and Captain Hannah Shepard were at the Dark Rose. Doctor Chakwas had opted out, stating that she wouldn't be very helpful if things went sideways. The restaurant was fairly upscale and luckily the pair had dressed nicely, so they didn't bring attention to themselves. It had a bar and two dining areas. The lights were dimed slightly, which gave the whole place a mysterious atmosphere. They had staked out a position on the bar and all they had to do now was wait.

Liara couldn't get over how similar Shepard and Hannah looked alike. They had the same eyes, a similar nose and she was pretty sure that they had the same hair color but it was hard to tell since Shepard's hair was closely cut to his head. When she looked at Hannah she could see Shepard. She wasn't sure if that was good or bad.

"What's your order ladies?" A human female walked up besides them and gestured to the waiter to get her something.

"We're going pretty light; we're waiting for someone. You wouldn't happen to know who that is, would you?" Hannah replied, calmly sipping at her drink and looking absent mindedly around.

"I do know who that is; she has information on someone named Colt .It seems as though she also mentioned something about the Shadow Broker wanting his also said Colt is on Alchera and the Shadow Broker's agents are quickly approaching. When you get his body, contact this omni-tool," the human handed Hannah a piece of paper, "The person you were waiting for might be able to help you." With that the human woman walked out of the Dark Rose and into the rest of the Citadel. Liara was really glad that she had brought the Captain with her or else she would've had no clue how to handle the situation.

"So… what's the next step?" Liara asked Hannah, who seemed to be an entirely new person from the one she had met only a couple hours ago.

Hannah took a long drink from her glass and set it down hard. "How well do you handle cold weather?"

…

**Author's Note: If I don't post before Christmas I would like to wish everyone Happy Holidays! I also owe a thank you to everyone that has reviewed, followed and favorited. **


	17. Alchera

**Chapter Sixteen: Alchera**

"The good thing about being a Captain is that no one questions you when you want a ship," Captain Hannah was speaking to Doctor T'Soni. She had asked for a small Alliance ship and, sure enough, within a few days she got one. They were talking in the Mess Hall with only a couple of hours left until they touched down on Alchera.

"Yes, that must be nice," Liara told her, but wasn't really listening.

"You've been like this for awhile now; what's the problem?" Hannah also shared Shepard's insight into emotions.

"I've been thinking about how it might be a good idea to let the dead rest," she said back to the Captain.

"Liara, I know it looks tempting to just let Colt stay on Alchera but the Shadow Broker wants him. He or she deals with the entire galaxy; we don't know what kind of sick person would want Colt's body and if we can help it, we won't find out," Hannah no longer spoke lazily; her voice was strong and self assured.

"You're right, I know that, but it just keeps popping back into my mind," T'Soni had tried admirably to stop herself from thinking about Shepard's sadness and how it might be better to just let him rest.

"Well, put it out of your mind because we both know that not taking any action isn't an option," the Captain stated this clearly, in a voice that wouldn't be argued with. In a much softer voice she said, "I haven't seen him in years, when I left he was only sixteen. How did you say you met Colt?"

"He rescued me from a Prothean dig site. I had been trapped in some sort of Prothean trap with a Krogan warlord and his men trying to find their way to me," Liara couldn't help but smile at the memory. "After a few jokes at my expense he got me out and let me join his crew," she remembered how he had walked arrogantly up to the panel keeping outsiders out of her prison and grinned at her. That was the first time she had seen that goofy smile.

"So… were you guys pretty serious?" Hannah's voice was misty and had fallen back to that removed tone that she had used back in the Citadel apartment.

Liara knew there was no lying to this woman, "No, not really. We liked each other a lot, but that was it. We didn't love one another but…it was getting there. If we could have had more time then we could've easily loved each other." He was probably the first person that had liked all of her. Some people liked her expertise on Protheans, some liked her innocent personality, but none before him had liked the whole Liara.

Hannah nodded in understanding but asked no further questions. She was probably too lost in memories to seek out further information. The rest of the ride was silent - that was okay with Liara.

…

Alchera was beautiful in its own right. Liara had always admired snowy planets but never had she visited one. In fact she would have probably enjoyed it more if her mission wasn't so somber. Liara and Hannah were in a shuttle searching for the remains of the Normandy. It didn't take long.

The probe they had sent to search the planet's surface had detected an anomaly on the south side of the planet. Alchera was too cold for colonies and held no vast amounts of resources, so the anomaly had to have been the Normandy.

The shuttle ride to the crash was silent and somber compared to the trip in Hannah's new ship. Liara barely said two words to the Captain and vice versa. Liara was scared of what she would find regarding what was left of Shepard; she imagined that Hannah probably wasn't too excited to see her son in a bad condition either.

After an hour of total silence an alarm went off indicating they would be arriving at their destination in a couple of minutes. The pair did final checks on their equipment and sealed their helmets. The shuttle's slight movement stopped altogether when a VI announced they were groundside. Their depressing journey had begun.

Their boots hit the snow but it barely registered with Liara. She was too focused on the towering pieces of twisted metal she had once called home.

"Stay quiet, we are not alone," Hannah whispered, while gesturing towards some footprints on the ground. Liara nodded back in understanding, but her eyes never left a piece of metal with SR-1 scrolled across it. The reality of her situation had never hit Liara,but it did at that moment. She was utterly alone. The shivers of her realization rattled her bones more than the cold wind could ever hope to achieve.

A few shocked steps into the cold frontier stopped when she felt something hard underneath her boots. Dread coursed through her body and she tried to guess the chances of whatever it was being her dead boyfriend. Liara reluctantly reached down and started digging through the snow, about half way through to the object Hannah had started to help. The sight before them stopped them dead in their tracks.

It was clearly human, but that was about as much information they could get out of the mutilated body. Hannah reached down and grabbed at its dog tags.

"Corporal Thomas Woods," she whispered softly, Liara wouldn't have caught it but their helmet's speakers were quite good. She had seen this man from time to time in the Normandy but had never spoke to him. "Come on, lets keep going."

The next sight that Liara saw was what appeared to be the cockpit. She saw Joker's seat and a couple broken and battered consoles. She could almost see Joker turning around and nodding to her while Navigator Pressley saluted and returned back to work. Wires hung down and the unmistakable mark of fire could bee seen along the walls. The memories were too painful to stay long, so she continued to the next piece of metal.

Hannah was picking through a pile of wreckage when it occurred to Liara about how awful this task must be for her. She was going through twisted metal to find the body of one of her dead sons. She had barely any gray hairs.

The footprints they had seen when they got off the shuttle were now covered by snow. They had no way knowing where this other person was. The only thing Liara knew about this mystery person was that they had been on the planet not five minutes before they touched down and the possibility of them still being here was very real. For that very reason Liara had no intention of running around corners blind. So when she turned a corner leading to what was the mess hall, she didn't register that she was in a place she had been in only a week ago. Her only thought was to stay stealthy.

Liara poked around the mess hall but found nothing of importance. Shepard's room was still attached to the mess hall, so she shuffled over there. Inside was a mess -wires hung down and pieces of wall were everywhere. Shepard's model ships had been thrown off the wall and lay in parts, aside from a model of the now destroyed Normandy, which she picked up and placed in a pocket. This was the last place she had been happy and the numbness she had felt over her lover's death turned to a gaping hole inside of her. There was no stopping the stray tear that fell, her head was in a breather helmet, so crying wouldn't have been a good idea. For better or for worse, she stopped the onslaught of tears. Liara felt no strength in her body and slid down a nearby wall into a sitting position.

She didn't know how long she had been there but she could hear Hannah calling her name, so she let out a pitiful call. Luckily it was enough because Captain Shepard walked into the room and gazed fearfully at her. "My god, Liara! What happened? Are you alright?" Liara could only nod and gesture to the room, hoping Hannah would understand that this was Shepard's room. The Captain looked around and then sat next to Liara; she didn't say a word. Hannah put her arm around Liara and together they sat in silence.

The pair sat there until movement could be heard outside of the small room. Without a second thought both women sprang up and ran to the door. Liara hadn't brought a gun, stating that biotics were better suited for her, she hoped she was right.

"STOP!" Captain Hannah Shepard's voice boomed over the landscape towards a lone figure a couple hundred feet away. She held a gun from her right hand and was aiming it at the stranger. The person's back was turned but it did stop. "Turn around slowly or I'll use deadly force," Hannah's voice was ice cold and sent a chill up Liara's spine. Liara knew that she might have to potentially kill this person, so she rallied her biotics and a blue swirl circled her fists.

"I mean you no harm," said the figure as he turned. His voice was scratchy and deep. Liara could tell that he was a young Drell. He was pulling something behind him when they found him.

"What you got there?" Hannah asked, her voice still a low growl.

"We all know what I have, but before you decide to blast me to Omega, hear me out. I work for the Shadow Broker and was sent here to retrieve a corpse and I have. A couple of minutes ago a buddy informed the true purpose of getting the body. I won't be a part of that, I won't. In fact I was going to take the body to a Doctor Liara T'Soni; she was the only person on his emergency contact information," Shepard had never mentioned that she was his only emergency contact. Hannah was also clearly surprised because she glanced at Liara before gluing her eyes back on the Drell.

"How the hell are we supposed to believe you?" Captain Hannah was not convinced of his sincerity, if her tone of voice was any indicator. Liara noticed that Hannah was moving closer to the Drell.

Apparently the Drell noticed too because he started speaking quickly, "I'm guessing one of you is Doctor T'Soni, and to prove that I'm telling the truth I'll hand over the body to her." The Drell had obviously been picking up on the subtle show of emotion both Liara and Hannah had been displaying.

Before her brain could tell her to stop, Liara stepped forward and announced that she was in fact the Doctor T'Soni. This was an incredibly stupid move, but there was no going back. The Drell seemed to look her over and then slowly started to approach the pair, his hands in the air. The large box started forward to as it was attached to him. Hannah still had her gun trained on him but she made no aggressive move. When he finally stopped before the women, the two parties eyed each other suspiciously. Liara decide to break the stalemate by reaching out for the container's rope. To the Drell's credit he immediately handed it to her.

"What's your name?" Hannah asked suspicion still in her voice.

The man replied back calmly, "Call me Feron."


	18. Impostor

**Author's Note: I hope everyone enjoyed the holidays and Happy New Year to all. Did you guys get any Mass Effect stuff? Because I sure did! **

**Chapter Seventeen: Impostor **

"Welcome aboard the SSV Marathon. It's a Normandy Class frigate, a couple years old, but I can't complain when I get a ship on such short notice," Captain Hannah Shepard looked quite pleased with her ship despite her words.

"It's a beautiful ship, Captain, but may I ask where we plan on going?" Feron replied in his gravelly voice.

"We're headed to the Citadel. Estimated time of arrival is just under nine hours," Captain Hannah was surprisingly funny and laid back for a high ranking military officer. Feron supposed it was because she was off duty and no longer had to wear the mask of a hard ass. She was still in mourning, it was easy to tell. She didn't really do anything to indicate that she was, but an aura of sadness hung over her. "You're not what I expected Feron."

"What did you expect Captain?" He asked her, his curiosity piqued.

"I expected the type that only cares about money. I thought I was going to have to gun you down for sure back there, but your change of heart is admirable," Her words were genuine, and for the first time in a long time Feron felt the gnawing sensation of guilt.

…

Liara had to look, she just did. Several times she tried to talk herself out of it, but deep down she knew that eventually she would open the casket. It was unfair to Shepard to do so, because he deserved to be remembered as full of life and laughter. Despite the fact that every part of her agreed that it would ruin her image of Shepard, she couldn't pass up the chance. Liara wanted to know what she was burying.

The casket was pressure sealed and she could look upon the corpse of her lover for no more than five minutes. There was no turning back as she popped the first seal, a distinct hissing sound emanating from Shepard's coffin. Before she knew it, all of the seals had been opened and all that remained was to look at him. If the lid was heavy, Liara didn't notice, for she was too busy peering in.

His legs had been cut off sometime during his ascent in the Alchera atmosphere and they were on either side of his torso. One of Shepard's arms was completely gone, while half of his other arm was missing. His iconic red and white stripe couldn't be seen, but that was probably because it had been burned off. His black armor was melted, probably fusing itself on to his skin. Dried blood covered almost every inch of his body. All that was left was his helmet.

Liara had to throw up several times before she reached Shepard's helmet. The damage done to his body was surprisingly less than she had thought it would be but far more gruesome than anything she could picture. Liara reached for his helmet with trembling hands and when she pulled at it she was met with resistance. '_His oxygen hose'_ she thought. Finally she pulled the helmet off of Shepard's head, expecting to see some mutilated horror. Instead she found herself looking into the eyes of Ensign Vincent Wellington.

…

" Captain, you've experienced so much. I can't say-," Feron replied before being cut off by the swishing of a nearby door. "Hello, Doctor T'Soni. The Captain and I were just discussing y-," Feron was once again cut off but not by a door.

"Where is he?" Liara slammed Feron against the metal paneling lining the wall using her biotics. Her voice was dangerous.

"Liara?! What the HELL are you doing?" Captain Hannah Shepard had sprung from her chair and was looking confusedly at Liara.

"It's not Shepard, Hannah! It's an Ensign from the Normandy, but it sure as hell isn't Shepard," Liara's whole body had blue fizzing around it. It occurred to Hannah that she had never seen Liara angry before. She had seen Liara sad before, but not angry. In fact she had thought Liara incapable of anger. Then the other woman's words hit her.

"Are you sure?" The Captain asked; her mouth was probably all the way down to the floor.

"Kinda' hard to forget your boyfriend's face- go look for yourself. I can handle him," Liara snarled at Feron, her eyes never leaving his face. The only way to be sure about Liara's accusations was to look, so Hannah did.

Finding the casket was easy; looking inside was hard. Liara was extremely bright, even more so than Hannah (though she would never admit it) but she still couldn't quite believe that her son wasn't the one occupying the casket. Dread filled her soul at the thought of looking at her son's mutilated head; it had to be done though, so Hannah sucked in a breath, released the pressure seals and looked into the face of a stranger. He was not her son, he was not Colt. It would be interesting to see what Drell blood looked like.

…

"Smear the bastard!" Hannah walked in again, her usually warm and inviting eyes were now icy.

"I would agree with you Captain, but he's the only one who knows where Shepard's body is," while Hannah was gone, Liara had time to cool off and consider their situation.

"Fuck, you're right," Hannah stalked up to Feron and scrutinized him, probably deciding how to kill him. That thought didn't bother Liara in the slightest. "You're going to take us to Shepard's body or I will personally rip your throat out. Is that understood?" Feron nodded his head up and down as best he could while being trapped by biotics. Hannah turned back towards Liara and told her to let him out, she did so immediately. Their new destination was now Alchera, again.

…

Alchera had lost its beauty. When Liara had first set eyes on the planet she had admired its snowy peaks and white landscape. Now it was her second time on the planet and she could only look around disgusted. It was now just a snow filled obstacle.

"Alright Feron, where is he?" Hannah's voice was deceptively calm; she was nearly fifty and yet Liara had no doubt that she could kill with her pinky finger.

"It is better if I take you to him, but first you must promise me that after you get his body you won't harm me," Feron was a liar but no one could ever accuse him of being dumb. He had also picked up on the silent but deadly way Hannah was now carrying herself.

"Fine, I give you my word. But if we find that it isn't Shepard, bad things will happen," Hannah's menacing growl made Liara eternally grateful that she wasn't Feron.

"How can I trust your word?" Feron was now risking getting his tongue cut off, if Hannah's glare was any indicator.

"Do you have a choice?" He clearly didn't have a choice and if Liara hadn't known better she would've thought that Hannah was going to shoot him anyway. The Captain wouldn't do it, though, if he came through; if Liara had learned one thing it was that Shepards had honor. Feron, however; didn't know that so he kept his mouth shut.

The path that Feron took them on was quite complex, Liara had lost track of how many turns they had taken. She sincerely hoped that Feron knew what he was doing because there was no way Liara knew the way back. He led them far away from the initial site of the Normandy and into a white desert. Hannah kept glancing back nervously, probably thinking that Feron was going to lead them far into Alchera and leave them to die.

"How much longer?" Hannah asked in her command voice.

"We will be there in five minutes. If you're thinking were lost, we aren't. Drell's have perfect memories. I could trace this same route fifty years from now," Liara didn't quite believe him, but she didn't have a choice. Feron had just gained another advantage of knowing the way home. Hannah couldn't kill him if it wasn't Shepard's body, or else they would be lost in Alchera's frozen wilderness.

In exactly five minutes they stopped. Feron said nothing but he pointed at a piece of sheet metal. Liara looked at Hannah for advice but she just shrugged and walked towards the metal.

"Liara, help me lift this metal," Hannah said after carefully inspecting Shepard's alleged resting place. Liara walked suspiciously over and after seeing no immediate danger she took her place on the other side of the metal. "One, two, three, lift!"

Liara's biotics were quite handy at lifting objects and in an instant the sheet metal flew a couple feet away. Underneath was a similar casket to the one Ensign Wellington had been in. Either herself or Captain Shepard would have to do open it. It had to be her, she decided. No mother should have to do that. She nodded to Hannah and released the pressure seals. For the second time that day Liara thought she was opening the casket of Commander Shepard.

This body was more intact but in much worse condition. Both of Shepard's legs were broken off from his torso, no doubt from landing feet first on Alchera's surface. The heat had melted the armor on his legs almost completely off and there was a real possibility that the supposed Shepard didn't have feet. Both of his arms were there but they missed fingers and all of his armor was either melted onto him or completely gone. Places where armor had been melted off were missing chunks. The most notable section missing was a piece of his torso on the right side. His chest and head looked to be the most intact. It was hard to tell about his head, though, because his helmet was still on. The red and white stripe had been melted off and Liara grew suspicious that this was yet another fake Shepard. The only way to tell however was to take off his helmet.

Hannah was looking away when Liara reached for the helmet. It was for the best. Liara encountered little resistance as she pulled off his helmet. There wasn't any hissing as there usually was with a pressurized suit.

It was Shepard alright. The rest of his body was a mess but his head was in pristine condition with only minor scarring on his face. Some blood covered his face but he was easily recognizable. If she hadn't known he was already dead, then Liara would have thought that he was unconscious.

Liara slid his helmet back on and attached the pressure seals again. Hannah looked towards her and she nodded. Relief filled Hannah's face for a second before being replaced by something else. Something heart wrenching and full of despair.

"Marathon to ground team, ground team do you read?" a voice sounded in Liara's helmet, momentarily startling her.

"We read you Marathon, what's the sitrep?" Hannah answered back.

"There is an unidentified ship heading our way. Their ETA is fifty minutes. Recommend heading back immediately," The Marathon crew member said back.

"Understood, heading back now. Be advised we have a package incoming," Hannah stopped and looked at Feron. "Prepare the brig."


	19. A Change of Heart

**Chapter Eighteen: A Change of Heart**

"Captain, we only have fifteen minutes left!" The urgent voice of the Marathon's helmsman resounded through Liara's helmet. The slow move to Captain Hannah's ship was agonizing, but there was no way in hell that Liara was going to leave Shepard again.

"I know. We're moving as fast as possible," Hannah replied through breathes. The rest of the trip to the ship was silent and agonizing. It took around ten minutes, leaving no room for a trip to the mass relay. They were probably going to be blown to bits by a Shadow Broker agent and yet Liara didn't feel panicked at all. That was a different story for Hannah.

"How long will it take us to reach the mass relay?" The Captain asked after they had gingerly set down Shepard in a secure room right next to Hannah's cabin.

"Eight minutes ma'am. The ship will be here in five," one of the crew told her. "Their estimated trajectory shows that they probably intend to board the Marathon." The agent no doubt intended to get Shepard's body.

Hannah had a hand on her forehead and was muttering, until she suddenly said, "Hawkins, Johnson take Feron to the brig. We have enough problems without worrying about him."

"Ye ma'am," the two marines said at the same time before grabbing Feron and leading him away.

"Anders, make an announcement for the crew to get ready for battle," Hannah called back towards her helmsman. Anders nodded back before she turned back toward her consoles.

"All crewmembers go to battle stations, expect to dance in five," Ander's familiar voice filled the ship. Liara had no idea where her battle station was, so she stayed in the near the cockpit and tried her best to stay out of the way.

Hannah was hurrying between different crew members in the cockpit. Her voice was calm, but Liara was too far away to hear her words. Liara hoped that her biotics would be sufficient against the agent's people, but she did have some concerns about using them on a ship. She was particularly worried about ripping out a bulkhead and dooming everyone to a cold death. This wasn't a productive line of thought, so she started thinking about what Shepard would do in this situation. He would make a couple horrible jokes and then he would become uncharacteristically serious and calm.

"We have a visual on the incoming ship," the quiet words previously exchanged in the cockpit were now much louder. This particular sentence was almost yelled.

"Captain! The Marathon's sensors are indicating that a shuttle is being prepped for launch," a woman shouted at the Captain.

Hannah whipped her head around from another person and for a second remained silent. "Did I hear you correctly, Lieutenant?"

"Yes ma'am. A shuttle is twenty seconds from lau-" the Lieutenant was interrupted by the sound of heavy boots against the metal flooring.

"Captain, Feron escaped," Hawkins and Johnson from earlier had run up to the Captain. Hawkins had a bloody nose and Johnson was holding her left hand.

"Are you fucking serious?" Hannah's eyes were bright with anger.

"Yes ma'am. We had just opened the door to the brig and he went nuts. The next thing we knew he was gone and we were on the ground," Liara couldn't help but feel sorry for the young marines. She could almost feel the shame radiating from them.

"I don't have time for him right now. Get your asses to the med bay," Captain Hannah yelled at the injured pair. She turned back to the lieutenant she was talking with earlier. "What's the status of the shuttle?"

"It launched about two seconds ago. Wait!" The lieutenant was leaning forward in her chair, staring intensely at her screen. "It's headed for the agent's ship."

Hannah ran up beside the woman and stared at her screen. "Contact the shuttle and see who they are and what in god's name are they doing."

"SSV Marathon to UT-47 Kodiak. Who is the pilot and what is your objective?" Anders spoke loud enough so that Liara could hear her.

"I figured that I owe you guys," Feron's voice said back before the comm. link was severed.

"Ma'am, it appears that the ship is now tracking the Kodiak instead of the Marathon. If we go now we may be able to make it to the mass relay," Anders told Hannah, not once looking away from her console.

Hannah mumbled something under her breath and then said," Get to the mass relay!"

"Right away," Anders replied, tapping at her console. Liara could feel the Marathon's engines powering up under her feet. She had maybe twenty seconds to strap herself into a harness. She wasted no time.

In a couple minutes the telltale noise of a nearby mass relay reverberated through the ship and the Marathon was transported thousands of light years, with one less member.


	20. Strangers and Loneliness

**Chapter Nineteen: Strangers and Loneliness **

Two Days Later

"Liara, I have to leave today," Captain Hannah Shepard and Doctor Liara T'Soni were sitting in the Captain's Cabin. They were mostly silent, the shock of Feron betraying and then saving them still fresh.

"What do you mean?" Liara was truly puzzled.

"Admiral Hackett contacted me and said I've been promoted to Executive Officer of the Kilimanjaro. That duty starts early tomorrow, so I've arranged to be transported back to the Citadel. There the Marathon will be transferred to someone else and I can meet up with the Kilimanjaro," Hannah was very good at having no emotion while she spoke but Liara could swear she heard regret in her voice.

"When will we be at the Citadel?" Liara was still puzzled at why Hannah hadn't told her this earlier.

"One hour," the Captain said back. Her voice was quiet and she broke eye contact with Liara for a bit.

"One hour? Why didn't you tell me about this earlier?" Liara wasn't prepared to say goodbye to someone she considered a close friend now.

"I know I should've told you earlier but I just…couldn't," Hannah was once again letting emotion into her voice.

"What am I supposed to do with Shepard? Should I contact that woman or let him…you know…let him be?" Liara honestly had no idea what she was going to do without Hannah's guiding force. She had been debating whether or not to contact the woman who gave them the information in the first place or just let Shepard rest. She hadn't made up her mind because she assumed that Hannah already had.

"Liara, I know you'll do what you think is right. Whatever choice you make is probably the same choice I would make," Hannah was now scrubbing at her forehead, something Liara did herself.

…

One Hour Later

Liara and Hannah had packed what few belongings they had in a short hour. Their lockers were right next to each other, but they didn't utter a word. It wasn't awkward, just gloomy. They now stood on the ship docks on the Citadel. The Marathon was already gone with a new commanding officer and the Kilimanjaro loomed in front of the pair.

"Do you think we'll see each other again?" Liara asked, panic was starting to seize her at the thought of being utterly alone again.

"I have no doubt in my mind, my dear. We'll cross paths again," Hannah said, turning to face Liara. Her hair seemed grayer than ever before, but her kind eyes were bright. A warm smile spread across her face and she opened her arms for a hug. She whispered in Liara's ear, "I'm glad that Colt met you."

Hannah stepped out of the hug but Liara kept her gaze downwards. When she finally looked up she saw nothing but strangers and the dreadnought Kilimanjaro.

…

Being alone was something that Liara should've been used to, but between her adventures on the Normandy and her time spent with Hannah, she was out of practice. Even Doctor Chakwas had left the little apartment, explaining to Liara in a quick message that she had been reassigned. That was a huge disappointment -Doctor Chakwas was great at morale support and Liara would miss her dearly.

This same reasoning was probably why the idea to contact the woman kept popping back into her mind. She didn't know what the mysterious person could do for Shepard, but she had to know. For days Liara contemplated contacting the woman, until she finally just did it.

"Hello?" A voice came over from Liara's omni-tool.

"I have something from Alchera that you said you could help with," Liara said back. She hoped her voice sounded uninterested and detached.

"Oh yes, meet me by the Krogan monument," was all the voice said back before their connection cut out.

Liara had never gotten ready faster in her life. In seven minutes flat she was acceptable in public and was flying out the door. The Krogan monument was not too far from Liara's apartment, in five minutes she was there. Even with her impressive speed, the woman was still waiting for her.

"Doctor T'Soni?" She asked, extending her hand in a polite handshake.

"That is correct," Liara said, while gripping her hand and shaking it.

"Let's get down to business. I'm here to tell you that my organization can restore Commander Shepard. All you have to do is hand over the body and we'll do the rest," the human woman said seriously; she had a strange accent.

"I-I don't know. I mean it seems kind of wrong to do that," Liara replied. Shepard deserved to be buried a hero and left to rest."

"Do you honestly believe that? Don't you think Commander Shepard would rather be alive? Besides, the galaxy needs a hero and he happens to fit that order," the human still managed to sound reassuring when her voice hadn't even changed. Liara wasn't really processing that this woman had just offered to bring Shepard back from the dead.

"He deserves to be left alone. It just seems selfish to make him come back," Liara answered.

"If he had committed suicide, that would be different. He would want to be left alone, but he didn't; he was basically murdered. Don't you think the right thing would be to give him a second chance? This is a great opportunity - don't throw it away. Billions of people would give anything to have their significant others revived. It would be stupid not to let us have him," the woman's voice was growing more intense. She probably couldn't believe that Liara was having doubts.

The realization of her offer was finally dawning on Liara. She would be able to see Shepard again and all her grief would be forgotten. She could hear his weird jokes again and feel his magnetism once more. "Shepard is in my apartment, come on."


	21. The Return to Normality

**Author's Note: I actually think I spent over an hour picking out fish in ME2, so this chapter is dedicated to my beloved fish who think it's funny to die after I forget to feed them **_**once.**_

**Chapter Twenty: The Return to Normality**

One Year, Nine Months, Eighteen Days Later

Liara's favorite picture of Shepard still sat on her desk on Illium, despite Shepard's long absence. It was one they had taken on their Thessia vacation and had been one of the only things she had left of Colt. The picture was the two of them sitting, with Shepard's arm thrown around her shoulders, and a goofy look on his face. Liara was nothing special in the picture, but Shepard's personality had some what been captured in the picture. It wasn't anything like the real Shepard but it still made her feel happy every time she saw it.

How long had it been? Must have been approaching two years now. Two years without Shepard. That whole time she had wished she hadn't gotten off the Normandy. She wished she had stayed with Shepard and made sure he had gotten off. The whole time the pain of losing him never left, she just made room for it. The only thing she could do was find the person that had tried to harm Shepard, even in death. For almost two years now she had been hunting the Shadow Broker and several times she had been close. It was only a matter of time now; she just had to fund her operations by helping anyone with enough creds.

It turned out that Liara was a horrible asari because they were supposed to let their loved ones go and remember the good times, but Liara could do neither. She almost constantly thought about Shepard and no matter how hard she tried, the happy memories were obscured by Shepard's dead, ruined body. The picture seemed to help block out the images of his death, if only for awhile.

Today was different though. Normally when clients came into her office she would put the picture in her desk. The less clients knew about her, the better. This time, however; she had forgotten to put the picture away and had been looking at it for awhile, completely ignoring her current client's droning. She preferred to think about Shepard than listen to some BS that a client was saying to prolong getting down to business.

"Doctor T'Soni? Excuse me?" Unfortunately her client had noticed her lack of attention and she was once again transported back to Ilium.

"Yes?" She replied back, honestly not caring what his problem was.

"Quite some arm candy there. I guess you wouldn't be interested in my other services?" Her client, named Jason Arrington, replied back in a throaty voice. It took Liara a moment to understand what he meant. He was attractive, but she wasn't interested.

Liara leaned forward in her chair and in her kindest voice said, "I want to make it perfectly clear that the only thing I want from you is creds. If you suggest that I want anything else, I will cut off your balls and feed them to a Varren. Clear?"

Jason just stared at her for a second and mumbled," Yes, I-I think you've made yourself clear."

"Great. I can have the information you want in a week but I'll need fifteen hundred credits," Liara was typing out a few things in her computer and when he didn't respond she looked up and said, "Problem?"

"That just seems like a large amount," Jason stammered out, probably still reeling from their earlier discussion.

"No other information broker on Illium can get what you want faster or get the amount of information. So, fifteen hundred or you find someone else and wait weeks or months. Your choice," Liara had this talk with far too many clients. It was a well rehearsed answer.

"Fine," he growled and tossed a credit chit her way. In a few minutes she had everything processed and Jason was out of her office. _Good. _

Now she had to think about how to acquire the information Jason wanted. He thought there was something going on with the executives at one of Illium's companies. Her thought process was interrupted by the beeping from her omni-tool.

"Doctor T'Soni speaking," the number of clients she had been getting was great for forgetting and even better for her bank account.

"Project Lazarus has succeeded. I've sent you an image for proof," the voice on the other line said. It had no doubt been manipulated to sound mechanical and deep. The line cut off, but Liara didn't really care; she was much more interested in the picture. No part of her believed that Shepard was alive.

There was indeed a message on her omni-tool and when she opened it she found herself looking at a picture of Colt Shepard. He was walking away from a burning building, a rifle in his hands. The date in the corner said it was from a few days ago but by far the weirdest thing was the biotic corona surrounding his body. Shepard wasn't a biotic.

…

Most of Shepard's old scars were gone. The scars from a bar fight? Gone. The scars from living on the streets? Missing. Only two remained. One was on the left side of his head, just at the hair line. The other was the disgusting twisted flesh on his right bicep. It was faded for sure, but the image of a serpent was still there. Of all his scars, he wished that one had disappeared. New scars, however; were plentiful. They crisscrossed his face, a faint orange glow behind them. Even his eyes glowed a little. It was disconcerting for sure. When he had tried to sleep earlier he could hear a faint whirring noise and when he brought his hand up to his forehead the noise increased. He wondered how much of him was Commander Shepard.

He allowed his thoughts to run wild in his new Captain's Cabin, because there wasn't much to do when you had a total of two teammates - you couldn't figure out if you were dreaming, and everyone surrounding you was part of terrorist organization. The reason for his trip to the Citadel was that he had to talk to Anderson and he _had _to get fish. He couldn't simply leave the fish tank empty, which would be weird. Plus, his love of animals simply wouldn't allow passing up the opportunity to have live animals. Cerberus, despite all it horrendous faults had one thing going for itself and that was the allowance of animals. When he was part of the Alliance all he heard was that animals wasted oxygen and blah, blah, blah. In his opinion the Council wasted precious oxygen on the Citadel, yet they were allowed to stay there. Cerberus allowed animals, so he had to take away at least one bad mark from their side.

That Miranda person had told him that it had been two years since…the other Normandy; he didn't quite believe that. It felt like maybe a week. The thing that really made Shepard believe that his death was real and not some dream was that he had biotics. He wasn't biotic before and now if he wasn't careful blue surrounded his entire body. He could control the biotics but sometimes his emotions made them flare.

"Commander Shepard we have reached the Citadel, should I inform Miranda and Jacob to get ready?" The new AI's voice asked. Her name was EDI and out of all the new things on the ship, he liked the AI the most. He didn't know why, he just did. Perhaps it was because she annoyed the living daylights out of Joker and Shepard found that hilarious.

"No thanks, EDI. I think I'm going to have to make this trip alone," Shepard said back.

…

Shepard usually felt that shopping was a necessary but tedious time commitment. One of the perks of being in the military was that you wore a couple uniforms and you didn't have worry about other clothes. Shopping for animals, however; was extremely fun. Commander Colt Shepard-Savior of the Citadel - had just spent two hours shopping for fish. He felt no shame, he had a small fortune amassed from finding creds during the hunt for Saren and spending it on fish didn't bother him. Spending credits on clothes? A total waste. Spending credits on fish? Hell yeah!

The great quest for fish wasn't his only reason for being on the Citadel. He also had to meet with Anderson and the trip to the embassies was surprisingly difficult. Shepard was with a terrorist organization now and it wouldn't be easy to explain to Anderson that he was just using them. Hell, Shepard didn't even know if the Illusive Man was controlling him. He doubted that, though he probably couldn't have had these thoughts if he was being controlled.

"Commander Shepard. It's really you," Anderson's voice surprised Shepard a little; he wasn't expecting something like that right off the bat.

"It's really me. Death just pisses me off Anderson, it doesn't keep me down," Shepard walked over to his former Captain and gave him a hearty handshake.

"So I see. I also hear that you're with Cerberus now. Care to explain?" Anderson's tone was a little testy but Shepard would have been the same way had their roles been reversed.

"They revived me, Sir. Whether I like it or not, I'm stuck with them for awhile. Rest assured that I'm using them not the other way around. The way I think of it, if the Illusive Man had enough money to bring back someone from the dead, then he has to have a lot more money that I can use," Shepard hoped he sounded convincing because he didn't know if he believed any of that himself.

"Glad to hear it Shepard. Just be careful, you're with lions now," Anderson said, placing his hand on Shepard's shoulder.

"Sir, I always was."


	22. Rosebud

**Author's Note: I am so sorry for the delay but school was merciless, and I didn't have time for anything else. I also watched Paragon Lost and I liked it. Fleshed out Vega quite well and gives a great back story to Fehl Prime. It didn't do a very good job at making me care about the characters, but I would still recommend watching it.**

**Chapter Twenty One: Rosebud**

…

Mordin Solus was possibly the only person in the universe who could not only keep up with Shepard, but could also outpace him on numerous occasions. Normally Shepard was a flurry of random behavior, and little understood actions, but Mordin kept up with him pretty well. Miranda sometimes had to wonder if Shepard was actually a secret Salarian.

They had just recruited the Salarian, and Shepard was getting along famously with him. The Salarian didn't appear to have the same…personality traits as Shepard, but his need for speed was quite compatible with Shepard's randomness.

Bringing back Shepard was probably her greatest achievement, but he was not as she expected. She thought he would have a quiet dignity, and be extremely serious. Shepard had dignity, but instead of it being quiet, it paraded around with crazy right behind it. He was most definitely not serious, with the exception of missions, and seemed to do whatever he wanted, when he pleased. Another off putting thing was that Shepard _looked _normal, but under his rather handsome interior,a crazy brewed. He seemed entirely oblivious to most of his actions and his affect on people, which only served to upset Miranda more. People either had to deal with his unusual personality or get run over by it.

Miranda was having a hard time at deciding which was happening to her. The good part was that most of the crew absolutely adored Shepard, and his sense of humor was famous on the ship. It was likely that they never had Commanding Officer that spent so much time with them. When Miranda walked through the ship she could hear people talking about how much they liked him, and so on. She had even heard a couple female members talk about the mad crush they had on him. Different days meant different opinions on the matter. Some days Miranda would be enraged at the lack of professionalism displayed by the Commander; other days she would intrigued at the thought that maybe he was doing this on purpose to get loyal followers, and on most days she would be astonished at the Commander's lack of awareness at his own crazy behavior.

He talked to everyone a lot but no one actually knew anything about him. Shepard mostly wanted to talk about others, rather than himself and this had caused an air of mystery about him. Miranda knew that he grew up on the streets, saved Elysium and the Citadel. Apart from that, the only thing else she knew was that he was by far the most intriguing CO she had ever had.

…

"All right you guys, we're going in for another recruit. Someone called Archangel," Shepard was speaking to Miranda Lawson and Jacob Taylor, while on Omega. Their meeting with Aria was…interesting to say the least, but Shepard genuinely liked her. She was like him in a way, if he was more evil and prone to controlling space stations. Her only rule was easy to remember and for the first time in a long time she was someone, besides the Reapers, he felt could be a formidable enemy. Colt didn't have any plans on pissing her off, which would be the exact opposite of a good idea.

"Uhhh, guys is it weird to see Krogan carrying around a varren?" Shepard stopped his rapid approach to the plague infested area of Omega, and found himself watching a Krogan walking away with Varren.

"Yes and no," it was Miranda who spoke, "Varren are pretty common on Omega, many of the gangs use them, but to see a Krogan carrying one. Well that's just odd."

Did Miranda actually try to use humor? That was as odd as a Varren being carried around. "Let's go check it out," Shepard said and quickly followed the Krogan. He hoped to hear what the Krogan was saying to someone else. Shepard was an expert at overhearing.

"Yes, she just gave birth. Just one pup and one hell of a runt," the Krogan spoke to a Vorcha. "I'm going to drown the thing. No use for a small Varren - can't even eat it!"

Shepard had heard enough, "I'll take it." Shepard rarely, if ever, thought things through, and this was a prime example.

"Shepard, what the hell are you doing?" Miranda spoke up.

"How much?" Shepard asked, looking at the tiny Varren in the Krogan's arms.

"Fifty creds, human," the Krogan answered back, its reptilian eyes gleaming with the chance to make money. Shepard didn't have a problem with this. The truth was that he had gotten quite a bit of creds during the hunt for Saren.

"Done," he handed the Krogan some money, and the Varren was transferred to his arms. It was a runt for sure, but he didn't have the heart to let the Krogan drown it.

"Have you lost your mind?" Miranda asked. "What the hell are we going to do with a Varren?"

Shepard laughed, "I'm not crazy… yet. Well just take the Varren to Doctor Solus, and then get Archangel." He didn't want to argue about it. "Mordin will probably have a field day figuring out what feed it and stuff. Very scientific."

"Shepard, Mordin has to do important things. He has to find out how to stop the Collector bugs," Miranda made an excellent point, but he had the Varren now.

"He can do both! He has a ton of energy, it would probably do him good," Shepard didn't want to have this conversation any longer so he started towards the Normandy's docking bay.

…

Miranda had thought that Shepard was the purest Paragon the galaxy had to offer. After all he had just saved a baby Varren. She was sure that after his time serving the galaxy he would probably save orphaned, disabled kittens, or some sappy thing like that. Now she wasn't so sure.

Minutes before they had talked to a high ranking member of one of the gangs, while the Batarian was fixing a gunship. When they were done talking, Shepard had calmly walked behind the man, and with a flash of electricity the Batarian was on the floor. He writhed in pain for a few seconds, electricity flowing into him and then had gone still, dead. She had watched Shepard's face, but no emotion crossed it. He just watched the Batarian seep his life out and without another word, had turned and headed for Archangel's position. Cameras were attached to each of the ground team members and no doubt the Illusive Man was watching, hopefully he would know Shepard's motivation.

…

Archangel was Garrus Vakarian? Even Cerberus's vast range of information and resources hadn't pointed to this outcome. It made _a lot _of sense but Miranda found herself surprised. That didn't happen a lot.

None of that mattered to Shepard, however. He was grinning madly, and she saw the connection that only close friends possessed. Garrus also seemed to be pleased with Shepard's appearance.

"Weren't you dead, Shepard?" Garrus was peering at Shepard quizzically.

"Sure was. Cerberus brought me back, Miranda mostly," Shepard turned gesturing to Miranda. He smiled warmly at her for a second before turning back.

"You know I heard that some rumors surrounding you, seems like Liara had something to do with them," the moment that comment left Garrus' mouth, was the moment that everything got real quiet. Everyone was silent and Miranda noticed how tense Shepard was. It was also the last moment of peace.

The telltale sign of a gunship's engines sounded and the rest was a blur. Miranda only remembered a quick fight, and the shouts from Shepard. She also remembered blue blood pooling underneath Garrus. The next thing she knew they were on the Normandy.

Shepard paced outside the Med Bay, and would wave away anyone getting close. He was mumbling to himself, clenching and unclenching his fists. For all of Shepard's crazed faults he at least genuinely cared for his crew. He had seemed to forget the Varren, so Miranda had checked on it and found it with Mordin. He had explained that the Varren still needed milk but would be weaned in a week and a half. Miranda was happy to see that the scientist was handling everything quite well; it seems Shepard was right about it being good for the scientist. He seemed fond of the little Varren.

…

Looking back at his conversation with Garrus produced some chuckles from Shepard. He was joking about Garrus' scars, but he honestly couldn't tell which side had been hit by a rocket. It sounded odd, I mean how could you not know what something looked like when it got hit by a rocket, but there he was trying to figure out if Garrus had even been hit by a rocket.

He had also visited the Varren he saved. He managed to work out a deal with Mordin where he would take care of the little thing while Shepard was on missions. He also found out about how to care for her, and now here he was carrying the little thing in his pocket to keep it warm. He didn't really know when he decided on a name, he just started calling her Rosebud. Shepard hadn't even planned on keeping her, but he couldn't resist. Besides the chance to scare his crew with her was something he could not pass up.

Colt hoped that Liara would find her cute because their next stop was Illium, and Rosebud was coming to see Liara.


	23. Realizations

**Chapter Twenty Two: Realizations **

Rosebud was securely placed in one of Colt's pockets. He had sent Garrus and Mordin on a break while he visited Liara. The thought of them awkwardly standing in her office and watching the reunion was cringe worthy. He had imagined some movie script reunion but hoped it would be even better. Shepard was so excited that he started shifting his weight from one foot to another while Liara's assistant droned on.

When he was finally released he couldn't contain his excitement any longer. Shepard saw her talking to someone via vid comm, but that didn't stop his biotics from flowing on his skin and generally twisting around his body. He accidently released a singularity and in an instant Liara, Rosebud and Colt were all floating above the ground.

Liara looked stunned for a second and Colt wondered if she recognized him. Hell, he just had a few orange scars, shouldn't be this hard to recognize his face. The moment of confusion passed, however. She looked at him with her bright luminous eyes and Shepard felt his heart skip a beat, for awhile he forget to stop the singularity and they just floated around, staring at each other.

When he finally stopped the singularity, Shepard decided to do the cool guy routine rather than run up to her and jump up and down. So he walked quietly up to her and was instantly pulled down into a kiss that was probably the most unsatisfying thing ever felt. She pulled away almost as quickly as she had started in, leaving a very sad Shepard.

"Colt, how are you?" Liara spoke the words hesitantly, like he was some karate- wielding-foe instead of a loving boyfriend.

"I am good, how about you?" Colt usually spoke his mind and everyone else had to deal with it, but this time he was dancing around the reunion they both wanted. Liara had started the small talk thing and Shepard found himself unable to break it.

"I'm also a dad," Shepard said into the awkward silence that had fallen.

"What!?" Before, Liara had been cold and almost emotionless, while this word was said with the anger of a Krogan in a tutu. Shepard smiled at her words and opened the pocket of his cargo pants. Almost immediately Rosebud's head popped out. Shepard thought that she was the cutest thing ever to inhabit the universe and watched as she panted and looked around the room happily.

"Shepard, you have a varren in your pocket," apparently it was important to establish this.

"I know, her name is Rosebud," the Commander watched as his two favorite girls eyed each other.

"Why exactly do you have a varren in your pocket?" Liara's voice had slipped into the disinterested tone and Shepard only hoped that his story would bring back the emotion. So he told her about how he acquired Rosebud.

"I see," was all Liara responded back. His story hadn't worked. What was worse was that Liara had then promptly asked him for a favor and never once broke character from this cold emotionless thing. Shepard also noted how pale she looked, how unhealthy.

So that's how their meeting went - all business. Shepard left with a hacking job and Liara stayed on Illium. Colt tried not to notice how wrong it felt not having her on the Normandy.

…

"Are you Commander Shepard?" A woman about thirty years old had approached the trio that was traveling through Illium. Shepard knew this meeting would be pretty routine; after all, he had done something similar thousands of times.

"Yes, I am," Shepard responded arrogantly. What he expected was around a million thank yous and a good job. What he got was one of the hardest slaps ever felt in the history of forever.

"I bet you don't even know how many people you killed just to save some crustaceous politicians, you arrogant son-of-a–bitch," Shepard honestly didn't know what was happening and what was worse was that they were right below Liara's office. It would be weird explaining how he got man handled by some stranger.

"Look lady. I have no idea what you're talking about but I'll give you a gold star for approaching three heavily armed people with an attitude like that," Shepard needed sunglasses right now. He needed the hater glasses that everyone else on his team seemed to own. If he was going to be an asshole he might as well go full out and wear sunglasses while doing it.

"You don't even realize what you did, do you? Two years ago you decided to save the Council at the cost of hundred of human lives. My-my husband was one of them. You killed him, you bastard!" Shepard knew what she was talking about. He _had _killed hundreds to save the Council and Destiny Ascension. The decision was made when he heard the captain and helmsman on the Destiny Ascension pleading for help, and without a second thought had allowed Alliance ships to save them. Shepard was becoming shockingly good at thinking of people as statistics.

"Ma'am, your husband's death wasn't in vain. If I had allowed the Council to die, the political repercussions would have been felt throughout the galaxy," Shepard told her. It sounded good, but he didn't know if it was true or if he was just a master at bull shitting.

"Wow, you're even dumber than I could've ever imagined," with that the woman stormed away and Shepard lost her in a crowd of people.

…

To say that Miranda was worried was an understatement. The woman's words had been harsh and probably would have even struck a cord with Miranda, had it been directed at her. It was clear that Shepard had never even thought of the hundreds of Alliance marines that had died. This was troubling, Shepard's psych profile suggested that he wasn't the greatest at coping with loss and a few hundred added to the mix wouldn't be good. The few notes on Shepard had suggested a high level of empathy and an almost perfect record of paragon actions. Her knock at Shepard's intelligence probably didn't feel that great either.

An even worse indicator was when he stood frozen for about two minutes. Miranda kept glancing at Garrus nervously, after all a good friend would be more comfort than a woman he had just met. Garrus, unfortunately, didn't know what to do either.

Right when Miranda was about to say something Shepard simply turned and said, "Find some information on the two recruits on Illium. I need to do something." Then Shepard turned around and walked away.

…

For the rest of the day Liara found herself unable to concentrate. Shepard was back, Shepard was back. Everything felt so unreal, so unstable. She had grown complacent with her job as widower and the fact that Shepard was alive hadn't registered. She could say it a million times out loud but no part of her would actually feel it. The world was still an eerie shade of black, when it should have been lit by the sun. The worst part was knowing that sometimes things never registered in one's head

No work was being done at all, so she decided to head home early. That idea was quickly dead when she saw Shepard stumble into her office. Something was clearly wrong as he swayed unsteadily and slouched oddly.

Liara feared he had been wounded, but when he appeared fine the truth finally reached her. "Shepard, are you drunk?" Liara couldn't help but smile at the sight before her. Their meeting had been…cold, and she thought he wouldn't have been back so quickly.

Shepard, in complete Shepard style, bypassed her question and instead asked, "Am I a good person?" The question was completely from third field. What a weird thing to ask.

"I can honestly say that you're the best person I've ever met," Liara wasn't lying.

"How-how can you say that?" Shepard slumped to the ground and his back was against the wall.

"I don't know a lot of people that would go out of their trouble to save some archeologist who was dumb enough to get herself trapped or someone who would save a baby Varren," Liara kept standing. Shepard was staring at his hands as if they had grown another finger.

"I killed hundreds of innocent people for the Council!" Shepard spat his last word out. "I didn't even think about it, just gave the order. What kind of person kills hundreds and doesn't even give them the courtesy of remembering?"

This was not a good thought train for someone who was currently saving the galaxy. "Shepard, now is not the time to grieve the lost. Once this war is over, we'll have all the time in the world to remember." Shepard looked at her for a long moment and then slowly clambered to his feet. He walked out a lot more sober than he should have been, and Liara realized that they were balancing Shepard's mind on borrowed time.


	24. Mom

**Chapter Twenty Three: Mom**

"Chambers?" Shepard called out from his private terminal. Something was wrong with the I.D. tags in his inbox.

"Yes, sir?" She asked, turning from her console. Shepard honestly didn't know what she did on it because he never saw any evidence of her work. She probably sent reports to the Illusive Man.

"Can you see what's wrong with my terminal? My inbox has a message from Hannah Shepard," he replied back. His private terminal had never malfunctioned before, but there was always a first for everything.

"Yes, sir. It will only take a minute," Kelly typed at her console. Right when Shepard had reached the elevator she called out again, "Sir, there isn't anything wrong with your terminal or messages."

"What?" Shepard was shocked, and he said that a little louder than he intended so almost everyone in the CIC turned to look at him. Shepard didn't care, however, he wanted EDI to run a scan. Kelly couldn't be trusted with her ties to Cerberus and creepy attachments to all living things.

"EDI, can you please check out my terminal? Hannah Shepard died years ago," Colt used to be bothered by telling people his mom was dead but time had made him comfortable. He was also jostling Rosebud in his pocket and on several occasions she poked her head out as if to say 'what the hell?'

"Yes, running scans now," EDI was an incredible piece of the Normandy and could produce information in the blink of an eye, but Shepard hadn't realized how fast that was. "Your terminal and private messages seem to be in working order. I also checked reports and records regarding a Hannah Shepard in the Alliance. They seem to be at odds with your belief that she is dead."

"What does that mean?" Shepard was processing very little.

"Commander Shepard, perhaps it's a good idea to contact Captain Hannah Shepard. Find out who she is," EDI's voice always held little emotion and this was no different.

"Good idea, contact her ship, please EDI," with that Shepard headed off to the comm. room.

…

"Commander Shepard?" A young woman appeared over the vid comm.

"Yes, are you Captain Shepard?" Colt was now relieved. This woman was way too young to be his mother.

"No, I'm her comm. specialist. She was too busy to pick up this call, but she wants to meet you at the Citadel tomorrow at thirteen hundred," the woman said.

Colt was thinking that perhaps this was a trap. It was weird how Hannah couldn't take the call, but on the other hand he couldn't say no if it really was her. "Alright, where?"

"Near the Citadel Memorial," the transmission ended and Shepard was in the uncomfortable position of worrying about something else.

…

Liara wondered what was going to happen to the Shepard memorial on Illium now that he was back. It wasn't the only memorial, and certainly wasn't the grandest, but it stood next to her apartment. If it ever seemed like she was going to have a good day, the statue of Shepard would remind her of her situation. It was remarkably good; anyone could look at it and know who it was. Liara's only problem with it was how serious it looked. Shepard rarely looked serious - he was usually laughing or making a joke that made little sense, and even on missions he was smiling. It reminded her of a dream she kept having. In it she would be sitting at her desk in the SR-1 and then she would look behind her and Shepard would be smiling that smile Liara had only ever seen when she was around. They would stand like that for a few minutes, just standing and smiling until a tremendous shiver went through the Normandy, and Shepard's smile turned into fear. He would start running out and then he would just disappear. She wouldn't see his body floating in space, he would just be...gone.

The statue's plaque read 'Commander Shepard-Savior of the Citadel. April 11, 2153 - June 13, 2183.' Liara had tried to stop herself from reading it, but after a particularly bad day, she was too curious to stop herself. It was then that she noticed he had died on the 13th, an unlucky number in human culture. She had avoided the number 13 from then on. She wasn't a superstitious person, but one never knows.

"Doctor T'Soni?" Her assistant Nexus poked her head in her office. "We have more information on the Shadow Broker, but it'll require someone who's familiar with hacking."

…

Shepard stood in the shadow of the memorial dedicated to his greatest achievement. A day ago he had been planning his trip to Tuchanka, getting biotic training from Samara and thinking about if he really sent his crew into a suicide mission 2.5 times everyday. Now he was waiting to see if Captain Hannah Shepard was his mother. It was an odd turn around. He brought along Rosebud partly out of habit and partly because he needed moral support.

He had just recruited the asari Justicar, Samara. He didn't like her much, but she helped him with biotics and he couldn't say no to her impressive skills with biotics. He didn't really know why he didn't like her, but he suspected it was because she felt like she was a replacement for Liara. That wasn't okay, besides she was way too mature for his likings. One kinda' offensive joke and he had to hope that she'd decide to let him keep his throat. It also felt like she was trying to be the boss and Shepard didn't like anyone being insubordinate.

"Colt?" A reluctant voice called out behind him. He turned and saw a flash of a familiar face, before being pulled into a huge bear hug. He could feel his shirt getting wet, and waited patiently to see this woman's face. When she finally pulled away, her eyes were bloodshot but she looked good. She looked like his mother. She was in her late 40s but that wasn't unusual in the Alliance. You could serve into your 80s (Shepard suspected that Hackett was in his hundreds, though) since human life spans now reached one hundred and fifty.

"Is that really you, Mom?" Shepard sounded uninterested even to himself.

"Well that depends on if you are in fact Colt Shepard. Were you born in New York? Are you scared of bears, needles and mice? And most importantly is your girlfriend named Liara T'Soni?" Hannah said it in a playful voice.

"I am not afraid of mice, I'm just reluctant to see one or touch one, or think about them," Shepard returned the playful tone. "I'm also not positive where me and Liara stand. She is sorta... different," Shepard's tone had turned dark. "How do you know about her anyways?"

"Cerberus had to get you somehow, so we teamed up. I like her a lot, Colt. Don't hurt that poor girl," Hannah had effortlessly glided back into Mom.

"I'm trying not to, but I don't know what to do," Shepard reached down to stroke Rosebud after he felt her shifting in his pocket; apparently his sadness was getting transferred to everyone around. "But hey, it looks like I have someone else you might want to meet." Shepard opened his pocket and Rosebud's little head popped out.

Hannah immediately reached out and started petting her. Rosebud had already gained several pounds in the week Shepard had her. "How cute!"

A thought occurred to Colt as he watched his mom coddle Rosebud. "So...Mom, where have you been for…I don't know - twelve years?" Shepard felt his anger rising at the fact that her absence had made him an orphan.

Hannah straightened back out and looked him in the eye," I was doing a mission in the Terminus and was captured. They held me for years, until an Alliance vessel saved me."

Despite knowing that her twelve year hiatus was not caused by her did nothing to calm Shepard. "I lived on the streets for two years! Two years! I had to take care of an nine year old on the streets for two years when I wasn't even an adult," Shepard had never been able to find anything to blame for being homeless and now the opportunity had come. "Horrible things happened! I had to do unspeakable things!" Shepard's voice cracked. "We...we were abused in the foster homes we were sent to. It was so cold during winter that I would wake up surprised I was still alive."

"Colt... I'm sorry. If I could've come back I would have," Hannah looked like she was on the verge of crying.

"Ya, well being sorry didn't help me or Alex, did it?!" Shepard was nearly screaming at his mom.

"Colt...I...I," words didn't come out as tears started falling down Hannah's face. Shepard was done with this day, and an instant later his feet were carrying him to the Normandy.

When he finally reached the Normandy he couldn't stop himself from reading Hannah's letter. It read: _ Dear Colt,_

_First of all I hope this is you and not some stranger, but I heard you were back from the dead. It looks like we have something in common: we both have graves. On a happier note, I'm also back. I was captured by some merchs in the Terminus, but I was rescued two years ago. Hope I see you soon. _

_Hannah Shepard _

_(P.S. What happened to Alex?) _

…

**Author's Note: School has been particularly tedious lately, so I'll try to update once or twice a week. When it settles down I'll post with more regularity. Thanks for all the reviews, follows and favorites. I would have ended this long ago if it wasn't for all the support.**

** -Wolfstar**


	25. Uncertainty and Wires

**Chapter Twenty Four: Uncertainty and Wires**

"Do you even remember what Cerberus did? What they did to innocent people, to that Major?" Shepard's conversation with Ashley echoed in his mind.

"Yes, I do. But I can't just say no. Hell, they brought me back, and besides I need their resources," Shepard had thought his argument valid.

"You've changed. I can see that by just looking at your face," Ashley's comment made him very uncomfortable.

"Well, I know it's hard to believe, but they actually made me even more handsome," Shepard had tried his grin that Liara had mentioned, but looking back, it didn't work.

"It seems like your humor is in tact or at least your talent at being a total asshole." Shepard was still trying to figure out if she was kidding.

"Ha-ha, very funny, but now we've come to the part where you join the Normandy," Shepard had hoped that comedy would help the situation; it didn't.

"You don't get it, do you? Joining Cerberus is the worst thing I could possibly do, it's the worst possible thing you could do," Ashley had been in his face when she said that.

"Come on Ashley! Do you really believe I've changed? After all we've been through?" His words sounded cliché.

"Yes," was all she had said before turning back into the ruined colony. That conversation had happened a day ago, and Shepard was powerless to get it out of his mind. She had looked him straight in the eye when she had accused him of being different. She hadn't spoken to hear herself; Ashley's words were sincere.

The worst part was knowing that he could be different. Knowing that Ashley may be right. Shepard thought of only one way to see if he was real.

...

"Miranda? Can I ask you a question?" The usually confident Commander had walked into Miranda's office quietly for once.

"Sure, what's up Shepard?" Miranda hoped this would be quick. She needed to get a LOT of work done.

"How many fingers are actually... you know...me?" The Commander was staring intently at her face.

"Is there a problem?" Miranda was not focusing fully on this bizarre conversation.

"Nope, I'm just curious," Shepard's voice was nervous and peaked Miranda's suspicions.

"Three, Shepard. Your right hand didn't have any fingers left," he left without another word.

…

Shepard stood in his roomy bathroom and held his combat knife. He had thoroughly sterilized it and the only thing left to do was cut. He held his right hand over the sink and cut into his middle finger. The cut was long and shallow. Immediately a thick clear liquid started seeping out and in a few seconds it had been tinged red. Colt could see wires illuminating orange, with long silver pieces mixed in.

"Commander, Miranda is at the door," EDI's voice startled Shepard away from his finger.

"Let her in, and tell her I'll be there in a moment," Shepard looked back down at his finger and realized that it had already stopped...bleeding. Hopefully she wouldn't see the cut on his hands.

Shepard had mentally prepared himself for Miranda's wrath and walked out. She was sitting on his couch peacefully, a good sign. Then she opened her mouth. "What was that finger question all about?"

"Like I said, I was curious," Shepard held no waver in his voice and looked directly into her eyes. Lying was getting really easy.

"Let me see your hands," Miranda was way too smart for her own good. Shepard reluctantly held out his hands, and Miranda inspected each finger until she found the long cut. "What the hell, Shepard? We're having enough trouble dealing with the Collectors, without you going and cutting your fingers." Miranda was quite clearly pissed.

"I just had to see what this," Shepard gestures to his body, "is." His voice sounded whiny to himself, but Miranda appeared to soften up.

"Shepard," Miranda let out a long, heavy sigh, "It's true that you're almost all cybernetic, but the one thing that matters isn't." Miranda knocked on her head.

"Are you lying to me Miranda?" Miranda was probably an even better liar than Shepard.

"No," Miranda sounded sincere but her words were dark, like there was something there. "I'm serious. Have any doctor check, and you'll see you have biological functions from your brain. Your body is a different story; over half of you is cybernetic. Now come on, let's go down to the mess."

"No, I'll stay here," Shepard wasn't ready to deal with other people's problems.

"Shepard..." Miranda started, her voice was strained.

"I'll be fine, Miranda. I just need time," Shepard walked her to the door, and despite the worried look on her face, she left without further complaints.

Had he changed though? Shepard thought back to the conversation with his mom, and how horrible that went. Before his...upgrade, he would have probably been kind to his mother. Before he would have never screamed at her or blamed her for things out of her control. Before he would've swept Liara right back off her feet, and he wouldn't have found himself without her.

Everyone he had a close bond with had been pushed away since his death. Normal Shepard wouldn't have done that. That Shepard would have forgiven his mom or even better, he wouldn't of thought it was Hannah's fault at all. Normal Shepard would have felt something when he had electrocuted an unarmed Batarian. Cerberus it seemed had created a super soldier. He had found that he could lift more, run longer, and faster. He was numb to killing. He was better.

Liara would know if he had changed. Liara was smart, she would know. She has to know. He was reluctant ask, however. The last time he had asked her something, he was as drunk as you could possibly get with a mechanical liver that was kinda' like a hollow leg. Shepard had to ask; he would get nothing done without Liara's opinion. So he called her up on vid comm.

When she finally picked up, she was looking down at what he assumed was her desk. "T'Soni Information, what can I do for you?"

"I like your little intro, it's pretty cute," That would get her attention.

Liara sighed tiredly and said, "I only find information, sir." Then she looked up and a huge smile spread across her face, but it went as fast as it came. "Thank Goddess, it's only you. What's up Shepard?"

No use in stalling, so he dived into the heart of the issue, "Have I changed?"

Liara looked confused, "I think that the only thing that has changed is your alcohol tolerance." It was settled, Shepard would only be known for his drinking habits.

"Something's different, Liara. I cut my hand earlier on and what came out was clear, not red. That is not normal," Shepard's voice was quite loud at the end of his rant.

"Well you didn't expect to have natural biochemistry after what happened to you, did you?" Liara was looking at him intently.

"Well, no. It was still a shock though. I thought at least I would look normal. You know - red blood, and no wires," Shepard ever only sounded whiny these days.

"Look I saw you when you were...and it doesn't surprise me that a lot of you is cybernetic. I believe that whatever modifications were made, weren't made to _you._ Your mind is intact, and that's what's important," Liara looked tired.

"How would you know?" Shepard asked, his words more piercing than he intended.

Liara sighed for the billionth time, and simply said, "Trust me, I would know if you had changed."


	26. Crew Conversations

**Author's Note: Based on all these conversations, who do you think is my least favorite character? I tried to make it so it wasn't obvious, but I think I failed.**

**Chapter Twenty Five: ****Crew Conversations**

Samara

"So am I doing it right?" Shepard asked Samara.

"No, not at all," Samara answered.

"What? I'm doing everything you said," Shepard shot back.

"You're not supposed to talk, at all," her voice was very calm.

"Meditation sucks," Shepard muttered under his breathe. They were sitting in Samara's room, on the floor, and Samara was helping Shepard learn to have better control over his biotics.

"Perhaps it would not suck if you were silent," Samara had her eyes closed and continued to speak calmly. Shepard had been fidgeting for a good twenty minutes now, but Samara hadn't mentioned anything. Perhaps she was too polite or too into meditating.

"I'll try," Shepard felt bad disturbing her meditation, but this was one of the most boring moments of any of his lives. To pass the time Shepard started humming in his head.

"Shepard?" Samara remained calm.

"Yes?" Shepard asked a little upset that his intense solo had been intruded on.

"Humming also counts as talking," Samara explained. Shepard remained silent for a whole hour after that.

...

Mordin

"Shepard. Need something?" Mordin was looking down at something and was probably no doubt discovering the cure for every disease, so naturally Shepard had to interrupt.

"Does Sur'Kesh have mythical animals?" Shepard asked.

Mordin was now fully looking at him," Why?"

"Paperwork is boring, and the extranet isn't. I find an article about the Chupacabras, and now I'm interested in mythical animals." Shepard liked the fact that Mordin didn't even think it was a weird question, and just considered it.

"There is-,"Shepard's translator didn't quite pick up the word, "Looks Salarian, nasty thing, water based, brownish-green, smells awful."

"Any stories to go with it?" Shepard enjoyed scary stories.

"Pulls in victims near water, drowns them, very unfortunate," the Salarian explained. Would Shepard ever have to explain to anyone why he liked Mordin?

"Earth has something similar, called the Swamp Beast. Man can I tell you stories..."

…

EDI

"So EDI, what's the meaning of life?" Shepard always felt awkward asking the ceiling questions, but was reassured when EDI responded intelligently.

"I don't think I can answer that question, Commander. However, many searches of human literature say something similar to, ' Everyone's life has a different meaning," EDI paused a moment before saying, "Also the number 42 is referenced."

Shepard needed something even harder. "What's my middle name?"

"Lawrence. Shepard if you are trying to make me trip up, it won't work," EDI's words were challenging, but her voice was neutral.

"Bill rode into town on Monday, and stayed three days, and then left on Friday. How is this possible?" Shepard was never one to give up the chance to ask an AI trivia and riddles.

"Bill's horse is named Friday," EDI sounded bored, even though her voice supposedly never changed.

"What's my favorite poem?" Shepard was sure that EDI would never know this. To his knowledge he had never told anyone.

_ "Nothing Gold Can Stay_ by Robert Frost," EDI replied. How did she know that?

"How exactly did you know that?" Shepard was now convinced that EDI was a secret agent.

"A reporter asked you that question approximately four years ago. Your response was _Nothing Gold Can Stay. _My search engines are very good, and I found out about your answer in point zero zero zero one two seconds," the numbers hurt Shepard's brain.

"Alright, here's another one. What's Liara's favorite animal?"

…

Thane

"Shepard, do you have someone special?" Thane asked.

"Uhh, why do you ask?" The question threw Shepard off.

"We're going on a suicide mission, yes? If I have learned anything it is that you need someone to come back to during difficult missions," Thane answered. His croaky voice always held an under layer of wisdom.

"I don't really know. We were really close, and then I... died. Her name is Liara, we used to be on the SR-1 together," There was something about Thane that made it easy to talk to him. Maybe it was because it seemed like he didn't judge. "How about you?"

"I had someone, a long time ago. I loved her very much, but being an assassin didn't make me a lot of friends," Thane said nothing more on the issue, but implications were heavy in the air. "People like us don't stick around long, perhaps you should talk to Liara."

…

Joker

"So how's EDI working out?" Shepard asked. Joker was never one to disappoint with jokes.

"You know, when I joined Cerberus I had never thought I would get a second mom," Joker's sarcastic voice never ceased to make Shepard chuckle.

"Oh come on, she can't be that bad," Shepard watched as EDI's blue orb popped up.

"I make one little change to some reports and she's over there saying, 'Jeff, you can't do that, Jeff that's against protocol,' Good lord!" Joker was waving his arms around madly.

"I see, and exactly what were you changing?" Shepard asked.

"Nothing big, just reports to the Illusive Man, making it seem we're getting a lot done faster," Joker calmly explained.

"I see no problem. If the Illusive Man wants his nose in every piece of business, then we might as well make it seem like we're super human. Impress the boss a little," Shepard agreeing to his plan impressed Joker enough to turn and look the Commander over. They nodded at each other, and Shepard was on his way again.

Jack

"Shepard...What do you want?" Jack's voice never failed to sound disinterested.

"Just wanted to chat," Shepard knew he had to also appear disinterested.

"Bullshit, what do you actually want?" Her eyes gleamed dangerously.

"I mean it, I just want to talk with my friend,"Shepard held up his hands in surrender.

"What makes you think that we're friends?" Jack kept her eyes narrowed.

"Because once upon a time I was just like you, and we're now friends through similar experiences," Shepard folded his arms defiantly.

"I don't think that's how it works," Jack was still following his every move.

"Well, I just made a new rule," Shepard was determined to win this fight.

Jack looked at him and started laughing, "You're quick, I'll give you that, but I seriously doubt you have had the same shit happen to you."

"Probably true, but I'll bet you anything I had the same worldview as you do," Shepard remembered the bitterness that had controlled him for so long.

"And what world view would that be?" she asked.

"Asking yourself everyday why this happened to you, feeling so bitter that no other emotion can show, and feeling like everyone is only there to take," Shepard was thankful he hadn't felt that in a long time.

Jack looked stunned for a second before recovering, "So what made your view change?"

"People who were willing to give for a while without taking anything," Shepard answered.

…

Jacob

"Every time I come in here, all I find you doing is working out," Shepard laughed how true that statement was.

"I have to maintain my battle-ready body," Jacob sat up from whatever exercise he was doing and grinned at Shepard.

"I like that, next time I go out I'll have to drop 'battle-ready body' a couple times," Shepard thought Jacob was one of the most mediocre people he'd ever met, but he had been coming around. Some of his jokes were actually funny.

"So we're going to find my dad's ship soon, right?" Jacob had been asking him this question every time he got the chance.

"Yes, once we recruit everyone," Shepard replied; he wouldn't let any member of his crew down.

…

Doctor Chakwas

Shepard walked into the medbay, and found Chakwas diligently typing at her private terminal. If there was anyone who matched Shepard's work load, it would be Chakwas.

"Doctor?" Shepard called out into the silent medbay.

"Oh, hello Shepard. What can I do for you?" Chakwas never failed to radiate kindness, and safety.

"Actually I wanted to thank you," he replied.

"For what?" She answered. Did she really not know how much everyone adored her?

"For being there for Liara, after my unplanned space walk," despite the difficult words, Shepard managed to continue eye contact.

"Shepard, it really was the least I could've done," Chakwas replied.

"Thank you, seriously," had Shepard ever used the word serious? "I now propose that we break out this bottle of Serrice Ice Brandy."

…

Zaeed

"Have I told you about the time that I single handedly wiped out an entire rival merc group?" Shepard always loved talking to Zaeed. Whenever he heard one of his stories, Shepard was reminded how dull his own stories were.

"I don't think so," Shepard answered.

"Well, you see when I was first starting up the Blue Suns, we competed with another gang. They were called the Moon Dogs. Anyways we kept having small scale fights here and there, but I was getting real tired of them. One of my boys was a mole in their organization, so I had him send them to a warehouse for a Red Sand deal. When they arrived, we locked em' in, and we stood in the rafters. The rest, they say, is history," Zaeed could also be incredibly cold blooded.

"I'm no stranger to gang fights; in fact, I got this particular scar," Shepard showed Zaeed the twisted image of a Serpent on his upper arm," from a boundary dispute." Zaeed observed the scar and nodded with an understanding that only experience gives.

…

Miranda

"Shepard, what can I do for you?" Miranda asked.

"Well, I'm just here to say thanks for doing a lot of my paperwork," Shepard absolutely hated paperwork, but Miranda was a different story. Earlier that day Miranda had come to collect reports and had discovered the monstrosity that was Commander Shepard's hand writing. She had gotten almost all of his paperwork gathered up, and had relieved him of it in an impressive time.

"No problem, besides I couldn't let you continue to write with, what did you call it? Oh yes, your own font. The public record deserves more than the scribbles of what appears to be a two year old," Miranda smiled at her own jokes, but then quickly scowled again.

"I know, I know, but thanks again," Shepard walked towards Miranda's door before she called out again.

"Shepard, perhaps the next time we're on the Citadel, we could get lunch?" Miranda asked.

"Sure," Shepard smiled kindly back and walked out of Miranda's office.

…

Garrus

"Shepard, what's up?" Garrus turned from his calibrations for once.

"Wow, I'm impressed Garrus. You've actually stopped calibrations," Shepard was honestly impressed.

"It's generally a good idea to keep your big ass guns in working condition." Garrus had a point.

"Alright, I'll give you that," Shepard replied.

"Have you talked to Liara recently?" Garrus said. His usually smooth voice held some strain.

"A couple days ago, why?" Garrus was acting weird.

"You're just good for each other, Shepard. Don't let that go away," Garrus' tone was sad.


	27. Poker Party

**Author's Note: Why is the quote "Show me a hero and I'll write you a tragedy," by F. Scott Fitzgerald, so perfect for not just Colt Shepard, but every Shepard? **

**Chapter Twenty Six: Poker Party**

Is this how normal humans behave? Take what they want from one another, without thinking? Colt felt sick after dealing with Jacob's dad. He had used all those innocent people as slaves. All Alliance members were taught that it was the commanding officers job to watch over subordinates. He almost broke the man's neck himself, but remembered that he was better. Shepards had honor if nothing else.

Then Shepard had to wretch himself from that horrible scene only to be led into Jack's personal hell. He thought two years on the street would be hard to beat for shittiest childhood, but it turns out Jack's uncivilized manner had a reasonable origin. Shepard had seen some things in his life, but the tiny rooms and awful conditions made him shiver. The Illusive Man said he had nothing to do with it, and Shepard believed him, but if he did have something to do with it, he better watch his back.

It had been a couple days since all members had been recruited. In fact Shepard was heading down to engineering to talk to Tali. He hoped that talking with her would distract him from the horrors he had seen. In fact he wanted to do something with the whole crew, but was at a loss about what to do.

"Hey Tali, what's up?" Shepard found the young Quarian typing something scientific in her terminal.

"Nothing much, just getting used to the Normandy again," Tali glanced around, and Shepard felt pride swell up inside him that this was in fact his ship.

"Well, I was thinking about doing something with the whole crew, but I've come up with nothing; any ideas?" Shepard didn't realize until this moment how glad he was that Tali was back.

Instead of Tali answering; however, Donnelly did it for her. "I've been itching for some Skyllian Five, Shepard. Anyone in?"

"Kenneth, you can't just interrupt one of the Commander's most senior members," Gabby scolded him. Shepard couldn't wait until they realized their feelings; they already sounded like an old married couple.

"It's fine Gabby. That actually sounds like a great idea. We'll have a Skyllian Five Poker Party. Hell, add some Turian friendly liquor and we'll get enough blackmail material from Garrus to buy all the engineering upgrades," Shepard could quite easily picture Garrus stumbling around with an unknown object glued to his face. "Alright guys, you have to tell everyone, while I get materials."

...

"Damn, Shepard. You won again?" Donnelly was staring intently at his cards like they would somehow magically get better. "How do you do it?"

"When you have to talk to politicians and no nonsense military officials, you develop a great poker face," Shepard replied happily, counting the creds he had just won. He looked up and discovered the rest of his crew to be looking around sadly. Losing sucks. "Don't worry guys, I'll break out the booze," Shepard could see the mood in the room pick up.

In the minutes it took to break out the cases of alcohol, the crew had lined up at the bar in the lounge. Kasumi was doing her thing and whipping up delicious drinks quickly. Thane and Samara where the only two people who held back. Someone turned on music and the volume rose to a roar.

A couple minutes, a makeshift dance floor had been cleared. Somehow Garrus got pushed into the circle, and off he went. The awful realization that Garrus was actually good hit Shepard about thirty seconds in, and for the rest of his dance Shepard stared in horror. He thought Garrus was going to be awful, and depended on that to reason with his awful dancing.

Next up was Miranda, and she wasn't bad either. Shepard needed to get very drunk before he had to dance. It would be his excuse. The bad part was that he needed to drink a lot to get drunk because of his liver. So he started his quest.

About twenty minutes later and an impressive amount of alcohol, it was Shepard's turn. He was last, and people were lining up around the dance floor. Everyone had danced and _everyone _was good. Now he had to ruin their dancing sensibilities.

The room was now silent as he stumbled towards his destination. The music started playing and his body started flapping around. He always felt awkward dancing, and now his awkwardness on display. He thought he saw someone filming his heroic try, but was too drunk to know.

The song ended, and the room still remained silent. Shepard looked everyone in the eye and said, "You're welcome." He then proceeded to walk to the couch and fall asleep.

…

Liara was leaving her office for the day, but heard the message charm go off on her computer. She opened her messages and saw something from Garrus. The message went like this.

**Dear Liara, **

**I recorded this gem earlier and thought you might appreciate it. **

**0:00-4:43 Commander Shepard Dance **

**In case you don't have enough time to watch it I highlighted some key parts. **

**1:15-1:31 Shepard loses all control and seems to be entranced by his own awkward body. **

**2:27 -3:04 Shepard almost falls down. I can't tell if this is from how drunk he is or if this is part of his dance. **

**4:31-4:43 Shepard actually believes that he did well. Even takes the time to bow. **

**Liara, this is the person you have a romantic attachment to. Think about that. **

**Garrus**

…

Shepard stopped at a bar on Illium. He was now entirely sober, as his mostly mechanized liver did a fantastic job of filtering. The bar was dimly lit, and had a seedy atmosphere to it, but it made Omega's bars look posh. There was a circular bar in the center, the most popular style of bar at the moment, and inside the bar was a higher platform that had vid screens attached to it. A thick haze of smoke and sorrow hung over the entire place, adding to the seediness and gloom. Shepard had been in a good mood, but the little bar was taking a swing at that.

Colt had come here because he honestly had no idea where to get drinks by the box on the planet. He figured that the bartender would know. His crew had run out of drinks half way through the party, so he had made the decision to do a quick dash to Illium to resupply. He also hoped that he might be able to convince Liara to join the festivities.

"What can I do- hey you're Commander Shepard aren't you?" The Batarian bartender had been cleaning glasses, but leaned in closer. All of his eyes were on Colt, and a familiar chill ran up his spine.

"Yes, I am, but I was wondering where I could get a lot of liquor on Illium. See I'm having this small party, and we ran out..." Shepard was interrupted before he could explain further.

"Ah yes, I know of several good places to get LOTS of alcohol. Let me give them a call and have them prepare a couple cases for you. Sound good?" The Batarian sounded quite pleasant.

"That would be very kind of you - thanks," Shepard turned to go wait in the back of the bar.

"Wait, I would be a fool to let the Savior of the Citadel walk away without a free drink," The Batarian was already pouring a delicious looking drink.

"Well, that's very nice of you. Thanks," Shepard grabbed the martini glass, and sipped on the surprisingly good drink.

"My pleasure," The Batarian replied back. Shepard thought he saw a sinister smile cross his face for an instant.

Shepard had been waiting about five minutes for the Batarian to come back with news on his drinks, but nothing so far. In fact, in that time Shepard had started to feel restless. He started to pace around, but the need to sprint was almost overwhelming. People kept glancing at him as he started to walk quicker and quicker until he was almost jogging. The weird part was that he could feel drool dripping down his chin, but every time he wiped it away, more came.

Colt was having trouble remembering where he was. He knew he was in a bar, but beyond that, nothing. As an N7 operative, he had been trained to recognize when something was wrong. Something was definitely wrong. How much of that drink had he drunk? He couldn't remember, but he needed to do something quick.

No one was behind the counter, so he jumped over it. He started flinging bottles to the side in a desperate attempt to find salt. People glanced over but either figured he worked there, or didn't care if he was stealing something. At long last he came up with a bottle of salt. A restroom was tucked into the back of the little bar, so he sprinted towards that.

Luckily, no one was inside the bathroom, so he locked the doors, and grabbed a cup nearby. He filled it with water, and poured some salt in it. He drank the concoction, and a moment later vomited into the sink.

"Shepard, are you okay? You're vitals are showing unusual patterns," Doctor Chakwas' head popped over his omni-tool.

"I've been," Shepard vomited again," been poisoned," He could see that the majority of his crew was gathered around Chakwas.

"Alright Shepard, listen very closely. Have you induced vomiting?" Chakwas asked.

"Yes," Colt said. Pointing his omni-tool towards the sinks.

"I'm contacting Liara right now. She'll be able to reach you faster than any of us," Chakwas said.

Miranda appeared in the picture," Shepard, do you still have those syringes and vials I gave you?"

"Yes," Shepard was finding it difficult to remain conscience.

"Good, pull out a syringe and the blue vial. Fill it up, squeeze the air out of it and find a vein on either of your hands," Miranda's voice was starting to get fuzzy. Shepard was still functional enough however, to find a vein and inject the liquid.

Shuffling can be heard at the door, but every noise is so far away. Shepard thinks that he can vaguely hear Miranda or Chakwas calling his name. "Remember the Reapers...Remember me," Shepard thought he heard himself say those words. He couldn't be sure; it may have been a thought.


	28. Fun with Batarians

**Chapter Twenty Seven: Fun with Batarians**

The first thing Shepard saw when he woke up was little Rosebud. She was stretched on Shepard, with her little head on her large paws. The light was exceptionally bright, and Shepard had to shield his eyes for a couple seconds. He was in the med bay it seemed, but he wasn't sure why he was here.

"Hello?" Shepard's voice was surprisingly normal.

"Ah good, Commander. You're up," Doctor Chakwas walked over to his bed and tapped at some medical equipment. "How are you feeling?"

"Well it's safe to say that my stomach feels like it was trampled by a pack of Emus, or is it flock of Emus?" Shepard was petting little Rosebud's head as she was trying to lick his face.

"You don't exaggerate much, do you?" Doctor Chakwas said while laughing.

"Never," Shepard answered while chuckling. "Okay, okay. Jeez Rosebud!" The little varren was now launching a full licking assault against Shepard's face.

"So Doc, why am I here?" Shepard said between Rosebud licks.

"Well Commander, I'm afraid that you were poisoned on Illium. Don't worry, the poison was easily neutralized," Chakwas said, and patted Shepard's hand.

"Well thank goodness. Miranda would have had to take my place, and Garrus would have taken her job. Can you imagine his administration work? It would be like scribbles and some doodles. Can you imagine how pissed the Illusive Man would be? An alien sending him reports... I think Garrus has a new job now," Shepard replied.

Chakwas was now laughing quite hard, but somehow managed to say," Shepard, you can leave whenever you want. I think sooner is better than latter, some people want to see you."

"Alright, come on Rosebud," Shepard stood up and again found he wasn't wobbly. He picked up the varren and made his way to the med bay exit.

Outside the doors he found the majority of his crew either pacing or sitting at the mess tables. Everyone looked up hopefully at the same time. "So, who wants to add this incident to the Shepard Death Count?" Shepard asked.

"Was this just a ploy to make us forget your dance moves?" Someone called out.

"We don't talk about that," Shepard replied. "So anyone mind telling me what happened?"

"I will," Shepard almost couldn't believe his eyes or ears when Liara walked towards him through the crowd. He almost dropped poor Rosebud. "Hello Shepard," Liara said, and gave him a smile.

"Hi," was all Shepard could manage to get out.

"It went like this," Liara started.

…

Liara was desperately running towards the bathroom that Chakwas had said Shepard was in. When she got there, the door was locked. In a matter of seconds she had unhinged the door with biotics and burst through the door. Shepard was lying on the floor, presumably unconscious. His lips were blue and his breath smelled strongly of musk.

Liara turned him over on his left side and looked in his airway for vomit; all was clear. So she waited for either Chakwas or the other doctor she had called to come. Chakwas' time was impressive, because she was at their location in under five minutes.

"Liara, go find his drink," the Doctor called to her while opening the bag she had taken. Liara did what she was told and rushed out to the bar. She found what she thought was the drink and went back to the bathroom.

"He's stable for now, but we need to transport him back to the Normandy," Chakwas was typing something. The other doctor came in through the door and her assistant was wheeling in a stretcher.

…

"Then they brought you back here, and Chakwas found out what the poison was. It is apparently really easy to identify it and reverse the effects," Liara finished.

"Well, I guess I'm lucky you were there," Shepard said gently, completely entranced by Liara.

"Yes, you were," Liara replied, equally glad to be near Shepard.

Colt looked around and noticed how much in public they were in. He cleared his throat before saying,"So who poisoned me?"

"Some Batarian," Garrus called out. Shepard could feel his blood boiling at the mention of Batarians.

"Say that again," Shepard asked through clenched teeth.

"A Batarian poisoned you," Garrus said again. The crew had milling about before, after seeing Shepard was alright, but now everyone's attention was back on Shepard. Everyone could feel the buildup of energy, and waited for something bad to happen. All that happened, though, was a tiny flare of biotics from Shepard and then nothing.

His eyes burned brightly with rage, and he stormed towards the elevator, probably going to talk to Joker. Everyone was left dumbfounded by the sudden change of mood, and the raw anger coming from their normally calm leader.

...

Shepard's anger radiated throughout Illium. Almost his entire crew, plus Liara, followed in his wake. Shepard wore his iconic N7 armor, and a faint biotic corona could be seen. People standing around shops and gift booths stumbled out of the way, knowing that something was happening - something dangerous. Law enforcement officers tried to stop Shepard several times, but he stated it was official Spectre business, and if they interfered they would be directly violating galactic law.

Liara found the walk to the bar where she had first found Shepard agonizing. Colt walked slowly and with purpose, as if deciding what would happen next. Even when they reached the bar, he was the definition of calm.

"I think it would be in your best interest to leave this bar," Shepard's commanding and room-filling voice reached all the ears of the bar patrons. They all looked up and seeing the number of people and feeling Shepard's anger left in a hurry. Only two people remained and they were the bartenders.

Liara knew that biotics were somewhat new to Shepard and he occasionally had trouble controlling them. This was a whole new thing, however. Biotic blue completely surrounded the Commander's body until it was a massive ball. It turned violently around his body, like his own personal hurricane. A huge blast of biotics hit one of the tables, shredding the metal and plastic. The tiny pieces of it showered the crew.

The crew remained where they were. Either too afraid to move, or too captivated. Before they had been walking only steps behind Shepard, but came to the conclusion that being near Colt was not a good idea. The bartenders cowered towards the center island.

"Get out," Shepard gestured to one of the Batarian bartenders. The Batarian wasted no time, and was gone in a flash. Shepard's eyes never left the other Batarian. "Poisoning military leaders from other species will only get you so far," Shepard growled at him. Liara wasn't sure, but she thought Shepard's biotic swirl had gotten bigger.

"Are you crazy? I didn't-," The Batarian didn't even have time to finish his sentence before Shepard lashed out a hand so fast, Liara couldn't even be sure it happened.

Shepard held the man firmly, and then moved his hands once again. A sickening crack reverberated throughout the bar. Shepard laid the man on the ground, and walked away. Everyone scrambled to move out of his way. His deadly biotics had been dissipated. Liara had known that Shepard was a powerful biotic, but this was a whole new level. A terrifying level.

"Shepard, don't you think that was a little...extreme?" Liara asked. Breaking someone's neck was much more different than shooting them. It was personal.

"Liara, I didn't become of the galaxies best soldiers by being kind and gentle. I didn't become the deadliest person to live by accident," Shepard replied. The worst part was that everything he said was true.

...

**Author's Note: Bioware just announced two new Mass Effect DLCs. One is single player, set on the Citadel, and the other one is multiplayer. They come out on March 5th for Xbox 360 and a little later for PS3. I have to say, they look awesome! On a different side I think I found song that fits Colt. It's called **_**Demons**_** by Imagine Dragons.**


	29. Dual

**Chapter Twenty Eight: Dual**

**"**So you really think this'll work?" Shepard fixed his suit's cuff for the millionth time. Samara had insisted on him wearing the suit; Shepard didn't even know where it had come from. All he knew was that he was peacefully doing his rounds around the Normandy and the next second a suit had been shoved at him.

All of the women of the Normandy had been called in to make sure he looked, as Miranda put it, civilized. Some of the guys were also called in to make sure everything looked normal. He had just walked out in front of everyone and modeled; luckily there had been many nods of approval.

"We have to get Morinth's attention somehow, and a suit is considered to be attractive," Samara was looking him over critically, straightening things here and there. "I'll think you'll definitely catch her attention, Commander. Ready to go?"

Shepard surveyed the room just to make sure everyone liked it. "Let's go,"

…

"So he's not going in with a gun or armor?" Liara had somehow found out what Shepard was planning, and had met them outside the club Shepard was supposed to turn upside down.

"Correct, he can't blow his cover," Samara was being extremely patient with Liara. She had been particularly worrisome ever since the Batarian Bar incident. Shepard just didn't like being poisoned, that was the only reason for his behavior.

"Liara, I'll be fine. I'll just run in there, thrill the crowd with my dance moves," some one burst out laughing, probably Garrus," go back to Morinth's house, wiggle my eyebrows a couple of times, and then kill her," Shepard was awful at being seductive, so he was wondering how this all would play out.

"You don't understand how... convincing Ardat-Yakshi can be," Liara had been adjusting his suit for some time now. He hoped it was a nervous habit and not because he looked like a ball of Rosebud shit.

"Remember how I was able to function with the Prothean vision? Well this is no different, I'm strong willed - I'll be fine," Shepard patted Liara's shoulder, checked his suit again, and proceeded into the club, but not before turning around and giving everyone a thumbs up.

The club was darkly lit, and the music was pretty good. Now all he had to do was something interesting. The first thing he saw was an asari dancer and a patron fighting. The Turian was demanding that the asari go back to his apartment, but she was not okay with that.

"Hey buddy, she said no," Shepard was tired of with dealing with assholes.

"This doesn't concern you, human," the Turian looked him over like a piece of meat. He then approached Shepard with a fist cocked. The time between the Turian moving in and then laying flat on his butt was astonishingly short.

Next up was some guy whose friend was in huge trouble. She was drinking with some gang lord and he had figured out she was a reporter. Basically Shepard had to say two words so she got out of there.

"Terminals are useful to look up information on," was that really the best sentence Shepard could come up with?

"Very good," the man next to the unsuspecting woman said.

"Sometimes it takes an eternity to find varren food," Shepard was now voicing personal complaints to save someone's life. How classy. The woman's eyes, however, grew big and she excused herself. Mission successful. Morinth still hadn't made an appearance, so the only thing he could think of to do was dancing.

"I'm going to dance beside you, if you want to think we're dancing together, knock yourself out," Shepard had a tiny camera attached to his collar, so the crew could monitor him, and he could analyze everything later. Shepard then only realized the bad side of that. The asari he was dancing with was quite clearly checking him out, and Liara was probably watching her.

Shepard boogied for a while and almost burst out laughing as he saw the asari's face sink more deeply into horror at each awkward movement of his hands. He really hoped Morinth would come soon or else this poor girl's head would explode.

"You're the most interesting person in this whole club, wanna sit? My name is Morinth," Shepard smiled inwardly, show time.

"Most of the time there isn't anyone interesting in this club, sometimes there's only one. Today it's you, why is that?" Morinth's voice creeped Shepard out, but some primal part of him liked it.

"I know what I'm doing, I'm confident," Shepard leaned back and crossed his arms.

"So, what kind of art do you like?" Morinth leaned back into the same position.

"This Elcor artist named Forta really speaks to me," Shepard sounded so weird to himself. He didn't have conversations about art, he had conversations about guns.

"I love him, but I didn't know anyone knew about him," Morinth leaned forward a bit.

"How do you like the music here?" Shepard realized how uncultured he was.

"It's dark, and it works," Morinth explained and looked around.

"I agree, I enjoy violent rhythms," Shepard didn't even know what a violent rhythm was.

"Violence is the only sure way to power," Morinth was leaning forward even more.

"The person who's the strongest has the best chance at getting the most power," that was a lie if Shepard ever said one. The Salarian dalatrass was most certainly not strong, and yet she held a huge amount of power.

"I agree, seems like we have a lot in common. Where do you travel?" Morinth asked, Shepard could have sworn that her voice got throatier.

"I travel all over the galaxy, mostly killing people," Shepard tried to subtly flex his right arm, but it was pretty obvious. Morinth didn't care about subtly, apparently, because she stared at his arm a good two seconds.

"How about we go back to my place? I want you alone," Morinth extended her hand and Shepard took it. He swallowed hard; he didn't want to be alone.

Her apartment was pretty nice, but had some odd decorations; the only thing Shepard got out of it was a new rifle mod. "We're so alike, it would be a crime not to join," Morinth scooted closer to Shepard, and it took all his willpower to not agree.

"We're not alike," Shepard scooted a little farther away from her. Samara was really taking her time.

"Yes we are, don't deny it," Morinth pulled Shepard's head forward and started kissing his mouth.

"Umm... nope," Shepard had forgotten for a second that this woman would easily brain hemorrhage him. He pushed Morinth off of him and flew backwards. The door swished open a second later and Samara strode in.

"Mother!" Morinth screeched. She was glowing blue, and Shepard was smart enough to know that he needed to get to cover or risk being blasted to bits.

"Morinth, you chose your fate when you rejected a life in a monastery," Samara was now glowing blue. Shepard had found cover behind Morinth's kitchen counter. A dazzling blue ball of energy headed towards Samara, but she blocked it and sent her own ball of biotic energy.

"I chose to live free, and not be babysat by a bunch of uptight Matriarchs," Morinth and Samara were now exchanging biotic attacks like nobody's business, but none of the hits did any damage. Shepard hung back behind the counter and watched it all unfold.

When Shepard peeked over the counter top he discovered mother and daughter in a stalemate. Their biotics were equally matched and they couldn't move or the other would kill them. Shepard knew he had to step in.

"I'm more valuable to you than Samara, anyone could see that," Morinth turned her head towards to Colt.

"Shepard, I've had years of experience fighting," Samara turned her head a little, too. He thought this would be simple, kill a serial killer, and have a drink with Samara and leave. He didn't want to choose between two people. He didn't really like either of them. He had come here though, to help Samara, not kill her. Colt also didn't want a crazy asari running around his ship brain hemorrhaging everyone.

Colt walked up to Morinth and grabbed her arms and put them behind her back. Sometimes he hated his job. Samara sent a biotic burst that hit Morinth square in the chest. He could hear a horrible crunch as she fell hard into Shepard's arms. Morinth was still alive, but incapacitated with a broken back.

"Find peace in the embrace of the goddess," Samara murmmered to her daughter before breaking her neck. Shepard stared at Morinth's body and then turned to Samara who was also staring at the body of her daughter. Shepard felt sick thinking about what she must feel. He made his way to the Justicar and pulled her into a hug. Together they sat on Morinth's couch and did absolutely nothing.

Finally they heard a knock on the door. It was the police. "This was official Spectre business," Shepard explained while inviting them in. He told them what had happened and they took Morinth's body to the morgue. The officers were nothing but professional and understanding; it made Shepard feel worse that he could get away with something like that.

"Shepard, I must arrange for my daughter to be buried," Samara started walking past.

"Wait. Here," Shepard handed her about five thousand creds. He didn't know that much about asari justicars, but he did know they were notoriously poor.

"Shepard, you know I can't take this," Samara started to hand it back.

"It's not for you," Shepard's voice cracked a little. Samara only nodded.

Samara left and Shepard had stayed behind. He couldn't explain why he felt so bad, Morinth was a killer of the worst kind. He couldn't head back to the Normandy yet, so he traveled around the small apartment.

"Shepard," a voice behind him called. It was Liara. When she saw his face she whispered his name. He looked down at his hands and up again.

"Why was this so hard?" Shepard asked; he turned to look at Morinth's hamster cage. So far he hadn't seen a hamster, but he was going to take the cage anyway, just in case.

"Samara still loved Morinth, and she died so brutally," Liara's hand was on his shoulder. She was right, but there was something more. He would probably never know what it was. "What are you going to do now?"

"I'm going to the bar, I'm getting drunk tonight," Shepard walked around Liara and headed for the bar.

…

**Author's Note: I almost killed Samara. I don't like her, but Morinth is worse. Even though I didn't like either of them, I found Samara's loyalty mission particularly hard to get through. It was so emotional and a mother killing a daughter is such a hard thing for anyone to process.**


	30. Sidonis

**Chapter Twenty Nine: Sidonis**

Shepard had just found out what happened to Garrus on Omega while he was gone. The story was straight out of a movie with a betrayal and a broken leader; however, this was not a movie and Garrus still had to live with Sidonis' actions. Sidonis, the bastard, had led Garrus off while a band of mercs had massacred his team. Today they were going to make sure Sidonis paid.

"Garrus, are you sure this is what you wanted?" It wasn't Garrus's style to kill out of revenge.

"He killed everyone, Shepard. They had lives, and families. Why should he get what the others didn't?" Garrus' voice was cold. He sounded like he was talking to the lowest scum of the universe, not his best friend.

"I'm just saying you should think about it, that's all," Shepard turned away from the grumpy Garrus. It seemed that everyone had changed.

"I've made my decision. I only ask that you help me with killing Sidonis, not second guess me," who the hell did Garrus think he was?

"Garrus, I understand that you don't want to be second guessed, but I'm your commanding officer, and I never want to hear something like that coming out your mouth again. Am I understood?" How did this mission start off as an exciting thing for friends to do and then switch into two strangers fighting? Garrus looked at Shepard long and hard before nodding; the rest of the trip was completely silent.

…

Fighting through mercs was actually pretty fun for Shepard. He hadn't enjoyed a good old fashioned fight for a while. Garrus seemed to enjoy it, too. The mindless point and shoot did wonders for Shepard's morale. Shepard enjoyed it so much that he didn't even mind that he had met Fade before. During his fight for Saren he had talked to this man, and even then he wasn't impressed.

"Where's Sidonis?" Garrus towered almost two feet above the man.

" I don't know who you're talking about," Sidonis was playing it dangerously as he spat the words in Garrus' face.

" I think you're lying to me," Garrus slammed Fade's head into the nearby wall. "Did that jog your memory?"

" I think I remember who that is now," Fade was a coward but he wasn't stupid. " Let me check my files," Fade walked towards a nearby console and typed something on it. "Alright, what should I do now?"

"Tell Sidonis that you think someone has discovered his identity, and that you'll be sending an agent to discuss it with him," Garrus stood behind Fade and watched him type; Shepard could feel Garrus' menacing presence from all the way across the room.

...

"Alright - remember Shepard, you're supposed to lure Sidonis out into the open where I can get a good shot," Garrus was driving Shepard and himself to the meeting area set up. Shepard would talk to him until Garrus was able to set up his shot.

"I remember," Shepard said after stepping out of the vehicle. He still didn't like the idea of Garrus shooting him somewhere so populated, especially since Shepard would probably take the blame and it would take hours to get him cleared as a Spectre. Still, Garrus was his friend and he knew how important this was to him.

The two parted with a nod and Shepard took his place by a clock and waited for five minutes. Then - right on the dot - a Turien walked up to him.

"Are you Fade's agent?" Sidonis asked. Shepard stood in front of him; he didn't want Garrus to kill him just yet.

"Yes, Sidonis," Shepard knew that using his real name would get his attention.

"Keep it down, and never use that name again," Sidonis glanced around nervously to see if anyone had heard. He looked tired and Shepard knew that he was already paying the ultimate price.

"Garrus is here to kill you," Shepard heard a simultaneous, "What?' and "what the hell Shepard."

"This is obviously a joke; I'm leaving," Sidonis turned to leave but Shepard grabbed his arm.

"I'm the only thing between you and a bullet, so I suggest you stop, "Shepard knew this would have to be orchestrated carefully.

"I...I hear the voices of all those men I led to death. I can't even sleep anymore; I just have to wait until exhaustion takes me. So Garrus can kill me, I don't care," Sidonis stood as if he expected to be shot right at that moment. He stood like he wanted to get shot.

"Garrus, letting him go is the ultimate revenge. At this point living is worse than dying. He is already ruined; you already have your revenge. You will regret this for the rest of your life if you kill him," Shepard spoke into his earpiece.

"How do you know?" Garrus' voice was edged with something dark.

...

"_So you think you can just backstab me, and expect to be welcomed back into the Reds?" Shepard circled a boy not much younger than himself. _

"_Come on, we all know what I did was for the best," the scumbag grinned at Shepard, his grin was so disrespectful that Shepard was tempted to punch that look out of his face. The boy would've probably been considered handsome if oil wasn't smudged all over and if his thick, oily hair was cut. He was sitting on a chair that was barely holding up in a warehouse that hadn't fared much better than the chair. _

"_You went against my command. Everything I told you to do, you went and did the exact opposite," this little cocky bastard better have some good answers. _

"_We all know your judgment was awful, what I did could have very well saved the Reds," his voice was so insubordinate and smug. The other members glanced uncomfortably at each other; they weren't used to their leader being interrogated. _

"_Being a little dramatic aren't we? If you had followed what I said, everything would of turned out. Now, in addition to battling winter, we have to deal with Boise Street being under control of our rivals," Colt knew this was all a show for the other members, if they were alone they probably would've punched it out. _

"_We had to give up Boise to secure a truce, sir," Shawn spat out sir. No one knew his name, they didn't know his brother's, Alex, name either. It was better that way, harder to get tracked down that way. Shepard was nothing if not cunning - he had done lots of bad things, but had never gotten arrested, mostly because no one knew his name, and saying the leader did it or sir wasn't good enough. The members of the gang just called him sir or nothing at all._

"_Do you know how close Boise is to here?! I could've secured a truce without losing that street," Colt was in Shawn's face now. _

"_You could've, huh?" Shawn shot back. Colt noticed the rest of the gang starting to shuffle uneasily; Shawn's words must have been getting to them._

_Colt pulled out his pistol and shoved it Shawn's face, "Do you think this is a fucking game?" _

"_No, no. Not at all," Shawn's arrogant voice shrunk back into fear. _

"_Well it seems like you think it is. Do you wanna play a fucking game, Shawn? Because I have a number of great games that you would like," Colt shoved the pistol harder into his face. Everyone was watching and Colt needed to send a message, disobeying him was not okay. "I hope you have a God, Shawn or else whatever comes after this will be fucking boring," Shepard let his words sink in. _

"_Wait! Wha-," Shepard didn't even hear the gun. Only the ache of guilt combining with his mantra of you've got to do what you've got to do._

_..._

"I know," Shepard said.

"Fine, let him go," Garrus almost growled into Shepard's earpiece.

"Meet me at the car," Shepard looked up at Sidonis and his empty eyes. "You can go. He gave you a second chance, don't waste it," Shepard turned around and never saw Sidonis again.

_"_Garrus...," Shepard started.

"Shepard, I understand your reasoning, but I need to think about it more before I talk," Garrus wouldn't make eye contact with him as he got into the car.

"Okay, but you did the right thing. Learn from the mistakes of others and know that regret never leaves you, and now you won't have to deal with that," Shepard explained as he stepped in after Garrus. Time to go home.


	31. My Son

**Chapter Thirty: My Son**

"Wait, they have an illegal VI of me?" Shepard almost couldn't believe his ears when Captain Bailey spilled the news.

"Yes, when you deleted files it would say 'I delete data like you on the way to real errors,'" Shepard could have sworn Bailey had laughed for an instant.

"That's a little much, don't you think Shepard?" Garrus asked from behind him.

Shepard was now laughing, too. "Didn't I say something similar a long time ago?"

"Yes, we were hunting down Saren and you threatened some poor asari," Garrus just loved pointing out less than savory moments of Shepard's career.

"I also remember that I let that asari go, Garrus," Shepard turned and crossed his arms.

"Yah, after scaring the blue off her," Garrus had clearly taken the challenge. Let the argument begin.

"I could've shot her, yo-," Shepard was abruptly interrupted by Captain Bailey.

"I can't decide if you guys sound like my two-year-old girls or an old married couple," Bailey sounded amused.

Garrus and Shepard looked at each other and at the exact same time said, "An old married couple."

…

"Krios? I thought you had retired? And...Commander Shepard? I thought you had died," Shepard decided that Mouse's comment made them sound very old.

"Be still Mouse. You can change your pants later," there was some saying that said; you laughed harder when you're not supposed to. Shepard could back that statement up at that moment. Thane's comment had caused Shepard to laugh, but he knew he was supposed to be intimidating this kid so he held it in. He felt like he was going to internally combust and to make matters worse. Thane kept glancing at him, probably because his face was bright red.

When they had gotten all the information about this guy Elias Kelham, Shepard asked, "So I heard you're selling a Shepard VI?"

"Oh shit! You heard about that?" Mouse flinched backwards; it seemed Shepard had done a good job of keeping his laughter in.

"Yes, and I want a copy," Shepard wanted to know what the whole galaxy thought about him.

"That's it? I mean ya sure, here you go," Mouse handed him a small package.

...

"Kolyat must not assassinate him; the life of an assassin is one of the worst lives you can live. The life of sin," Thane spoke to Shepard through his earpiece since Shepard was in rafters and Thane wasn't. Shepard was waiting for a politician, Joram, and his Krogan bodyguard to show up. They had just interrogated Kelham, peacefully, and had found out who Kolyat's target was. Joram sounded like a real scumbag, but that's not how democracy works. There are ways other than assassination to get rid of politicians.

"So does that mean you regret what you've done in life?" Shepard found he could ask Thane anything because he was so easy to talk to.

"I'm still trying to decide that. I have come to the conclusion though, that I wouldn't want my son doing it," Thane explained. "As an assassin I felt nothing for years. I built myself an island with no boats to get to it. I don't want that for anyone, especially not my son. Take heed from my experience Shepard; don't lock yourself somewhere no one else can get to. There's always another mission to be completed, whether it be for the Alliance or someone else. You can't do that mission if you're alone."

This was a weird time to be having a conversation about loneliness and what it means for Shepard. He imagined that this subject weighed heavily on Thane's mind, and he needed to tell someone. He hoped it was that, and not that Shepard seemed less than adequate on missions due to loneliness.

"Thanks, Thane. I'll have to think about what you said...I have a visual, following now," the politician and his bodyguard came into view, and started moving quickly. In fact Shepard almost lost them several times, but he kept going because Thane's voice would be angry in his ear (angry for Thane, calm for everybody else).

Shepard had followed Joram to an elevator probably leading to his apartment. "Alright Thane. He's heading-," Shepard stopped mid-sentence when a Drell dropped into his view and started shooting at Joram "KOLYAT!" Shepard screamed the name and started racing after Thane's son. The elevator carrying Kolyat had already left, but Thane was right next to him. "He's heading to Joram's apartment," Shepard had already summoned an elevator.

When they arrived in the apartment Kolyat had a gun to Joram's head. Shepard pulled out a pistol and pointed it at Kolyat.

"Is this some kind of sick joke? After ten years you show up?" Kolyat's accusing words didn't seem to affect Thane, at least on the outside. Then Captain Bailey showed up.

"Put down the gun," Bailey also had a gun trained on Kolyat.

"Get out of my way! I'm leaving and Joram's leaving with me," Kolyat shifted forward.

"Please help me," Joram's voice held no fear, surprisingly.

"Shut up," Shepard said, they had enough to deal with without some crooked politician speaking.

"They have snipers outside, they'll kill you," Thane explained. Shepard was done with all this talk. He shot a bullet dangerously close to Kolyat's head. In the shocked seconds that followed Shepard knocked the gun out of Kolyat's hands. Shepard then grabbed Joram and almost dragged him over to Bailey's location.

"Arrest him," Bailey told the two men with them.

"What makes it okay for him to kill people but not me?" Kolyat was pointing a finger at Thane.

"I was six when the Hanar started teaching me how to kill, I didn't know any better. Until your mom came," Shepard was painfully aware how public this conversation was.

"Then why weren't you there when she died? Why were you never there?" Kolyat's voice was always angry, never sad.

"They killed her to get to me. I hunted them down. Hurt them and eventually killed them. When I went back to see you, you were-older. I should've stayed," Thane's voice was the most regretful thing Shepard had ever heard.

"I guess it's too bad for me that you waited so long," Kolyat sounded spiteful.

"I've taken many bad things out of this world. You're the only good thing I've ever added."

"Perhaps this conversation would be better in private. Boys, give them a room, and as much time as they need," Captain Bailey said.

"That was nice of you, Bailey," Shepard looked at the Captain more thoughtfully; he liked Bailey sure, but up to this moment Shepard only saw him as background.

"Do you think he's the only one who screwed up raising a son?" Bailey asked.

…

Shepard and Garrus waited patiently outside the room that held Kolyat and Thane. They didn't say anything, just sat there. Shepard hoped the meeting was going well.

"About ten years ago, some real bad people were killed. Our main suspect was a Drell; we never caught him," Bailey's voice reached into the silence Shepard and Garrus inhabited.

"That is something you wouldn't want to get involved in," Shepard was really tired, and Bailey's threat just made him angry.

"Oh believe me, I know," Bailey was interrupted by a door opening.

"How'd it go?" Shepard asked Thane who walked towards Bailey's desk.

"I can't fix everything with just a few words, but we'll keep talking," Thane seemed happy.

"Your boy killed some people, no one I care about, but murder is murder," Bailey was trying to follow the law and help them out. Shepard got that, but he was still annoyed.

"Look, if he goes through the system his life is ruined. Someone who has so much to offer society is locked up because of a few people no one cares about. The better solution would be to give him a job, make him pay off his debt to society. He won't get off scott free, but his life won't be ruined," Shepard thought that sounded fair.

"C-Sec won't allow it. We have to go through protocol, and different channels," Bailey responded.

"Have him work for you, keep C-Sec out of this. Teach him out to be a good officer and in time he'll do enough good to pay back those murders," Shepard was pushing hard, he knew that, but Thane was his friend.

"Interesting idea. I'll think about it," Captain Bailey rose and shook hands with Shepard and Thane. Today was a good day, a nice relief from some of his most recent missions. Some things were meant to turn out, and others weren't.

…

**Author's Note: Writer's block has kept me from completing this chapter earlier. Sorry. **

**I also went back and renamed every chapter. It was getting annoyed seeing Chapter 30 called Chapter 29. I also went back and edited my earlier chapters. Nothing changed just a few grammar mistakes here and there. Hope you enjoyed this chapter **

**-Wolfstar**


	32. Tuchanka

**Author's Note: Don't forget that the Citadel DLC for single player comes out tomorrow! **

**Chapter Thirty One: Tuchanka **

**Mordin**

Bodies lay here and there. Some are burnt, others are mutilated, and most are unrecognizable. Most have puffy features, with open bloody wounds. It's a mess, and Commander Shepard is glad he isn't going to be the one clearing it up. Most of the bodies are Krogan, and the next highest body count belongs to humans.

"What happened here?" Shepard glanced around and felt his stomach lurch.

"Live testing. Indicated by boils and puffiness," Mordin was bent over someone's body, taking a scan.

"Why?" Shepard still couldn't believe that somebody did this. He thought it would be some chemical warfare component sent via bomb, rather than someone doing testing on each of these people.

"Your guess is as good as mine. Probably didn't have adequate centers," Mordin's voice was disconnected, scientific. It reassures Shepard that Mordin feels the same disgust.

"Is this what it was like while doing work on the genophage?" Shepard didn't really think about what he said, it just came out. This was not an uncommon happening.

"Absolutely not! Made with morals in mind. Cure was necessary," Mordin sounded like he was trying to convince himself.

"So how did you, you know, deal with it?" Shepard had a way with words.

"Studied spiritual teachings of different species," Mordin had stopped his scan, and was now completely focused on Shepard.

"You studied religions?" Shepard asked.

"Yes," Mordin seemed reluctant to talk for the first time Shepard had known him. So he let it go. They continued on, Grunt included, and found nothing else but more mutilated bodies. The smell was something that Shepard believed he would never forget; the sights were worse.

"Shepard, look in here," Grunt called out. He was near a large crate.

Shepard found a Krogan sitting in the middle of the filthy crate. "What are you doing here?"

"I have nothing left, there is no strength left in my body," the Krogan looked pitifully at his hands, and never made eye contact with Shepard. Shepard pulled off his helmet (he never went on missions without it, and rarely took it off).

"Get off your goddamned ass right now! There are females to check for fertility and your clan to defend. You can't just sit on your great big lard ass, and feel sorry for yourself! What kind of Krogan does that?!" Shepard was nearly yelling in the Krogan's face. He knew the Krogan would die here without his clan. He also knew that Krogans needed a special kind of encouragement.

"Not this Krogan! I won't sit on my ass, and do nothing! For the females," Shepard thought he had been yelling quite loudly. The Krogan got up and charged out of the crate.

"Impressive," Mordin was observing the whole situation with a very scientific pose.

Grunt was laughing mightily, "Good going Shepard."

…

Maelon had run off when Shepard had stopped Mordin from killing him. He hoped he took Mordin's advice on opening a clinic on Omega. Now was the hard part though, decision making.

"Should we keep the data, or destroy it?" Mordin was waiting by a console. Above him a holographic Krogan skeleton turned and a high pitched voice read something in the main Salarian dialect.

Shepard looked around the bodies of all the people who had died to get this information. Shepard didn't want a cure that came out of immoral testing, but all these people didn't have to die in vain. Their deaths could help the Krogan people.

"Keep it, these people didn't die just so we could delete everything," Shepard wondered desperately if he made the right choice.

...

**Grunt**

Shepard had decided to take Rosebud onto Tuchanka's surface. It was her homeland, and hopefully she would make some Varren friends. She had grown large in the weeks since Shepard had saved her, and she was now up to just below Shepard's waist.

Shepard could tell Krogans approved of Rosebud, because whenever they passed they would nod approvingly at her. Shepard thought it was funny that his dog- thing was more popular than he was. When they had talked to Wrex he had been more interested in her, than the fact that Shepard was alive.

Wrex had told them Grunt was going through puberty, which sounded awful. Shepard remembered how awkward he was at that age. Shepard was also kind of disappointed that his puberty just involved lots of acne, rather than killing mutated animals in a rite of passage. Shepard was thankful though, that he didn't have to go through mountains of assholes who tried to deny that right of passage.

When they had finally won all the battles over Grunt's birth it was time to go, but not before taking Rosebud back to the Normandy.

…

Shepard really hoped that the rest of his crew was getting a kick out of the huge Thresher Maw trying to kill himself, Grunt, and Mordin, because he wasn't. The thing just wouldn't die, and on top of that it kept melting Shepard's cover. For a horrible second acid had gotten on Shepard's armor on his arm, until he ripped it off. Not a moment too soon either, as the acid was about to start going through Shepard's arm.

"This thing just doesn't know when to stop, does it?" Shepard yelled at Grunt, who had just rolled out of the way of acid.

"Nope, and I love it!" Grunt roared with laughter and fired at the Thresher.

Shepard had started timing how long it took to kill the Thresher, and his watch said forty five minutes. To say that Shepard was tired would be like saying that Grunt was kinda' excited during his rite of passage. Then, like Shepard hadn't done enough, those assholes Shepard thought he had told off earlier arrived.

"No one has killed a Thresher Maw since Urdnot Wrex. Join us Grunt, and be among the most powerful Krogan," a rather large, and mean looking Krogan shouted. His supporters roared behind him.

"Shepard is my battle master. He's the best warrior I've ever seen. I don't want to join you or your pitiful clan," Shepard had been touched by Grunt's words and had for a fraction of a second had thought they would go home without further fighting. That was until Grunt had insulted them, and a spray of bullets headed their way.

Shepard, Grunt, and Mordin had cleared away the annoying Krogan and his group in impressive time. Shepard was motivated by the strong urge just to go home. The Thresher Maw had zapped all his energy, so he fought like hell just to collapse on his bed.

Shepard felt even more impatient when Grunt had been granted the title of Urdnot Grunt, and full honors had been given. He was happy for the Krogan, of course, but this day just dragged on.

A comment on the way back to the Normandy had been worth the wait though. EDI's voice came over Shepard's helmet speakers; "Several breeding requests have been generated for Grunt, and one for Shepard." That comment had made Shepard laugh for a good fifteen minutes. He could also hear Grunt, and Mordin laughing. He imagined the rest of the group huddled around the vid screens, which streamed live the ground crew's helmet cams, laughing and having a good joke at Shepard's expense. It was a good day.


	33. LoTSB-Part 1

**Chapter Thirty Two: LoTSB-Part 1**

"Liara, I have some information that you may find useful," Shepard held out a data pad towards Liara.

"What kind of information is it?" Shepard hated how annoyed she sounded.

"It's information on the Shadow Broker's location," Shepard replied. Liara sprang up almost immediately.

"Let me see!" Shepard handed Liara the pad and her eyes greedily watched the screen. Then almost as quickly as that happened she put a hand to her head.

"What's wrong?" Shepard stepped towards Liara.

"It's been two years, Shepard. Two years since Feron sacrificed himself. Two years since everything changed," Liara glanced at something on her desk, but he couldn't tell what it was.

"Who's Feron?" Shepard felt a tidal wave of jealousy roll over him. It was stupid since Liara and him weren't even together, but it was still there.

"A friend who helped me get your body. He actually betrayed me and Hannah, but in the end he saved us. For two years I thought he was dead, and now I find out he's alive. It's all a bit overwhelming," Liara started walking around her desk. "I think I need to go to my apartment and think about this."

"How about I meet you there?" Shepard was pretty excited to see what Liara's apartment was like.

"Okay, meet me there in half an hour," Liara grabbed a few things off her desk and then left.

…

"What the hell happened here?" Shepard was being blocked out by police tape, and a few officers.

"Looks like someone tried to kill Doctor T'Soni. She was saved by kinetic barriers around the glass. It was a clever, but paranoid move. Very clever," an asari was speaking to Shepard now, after he had shoved his way past and shown his credentials.

"What?! Where is she? Is she hurt?" Shepard started to look around the apartment frantically.

"There's no blood or body. It looks like your friend got away. I'm Tela Vasir, by the way. Council Special Tactics and Reconnaissance," the asari was following Shepard as he did a quick sweep of everything.

"A Spectre?" Shepard had never heard of her.

"Yes. You're our most famous member, congrats on getting your title back, but some of us find secrecy useful," Shepard did not honestly care about Tela. He cared about finding Liara.

"That's nice, so where do we find Liara?" Shepard was still worried about her health.

"Your guess is as good as mine," Tela Vasir glanced around the minimally decorated apartment.

"She expected me, maybe she left something. Let's all spread out and look for something," Shepard didn't wait for an answer before starting. The first thing he noticed was a case displaying a Prothean artifact. It must have been thousands of years old and very expensive.

Shepard then noticed a case containing his old N7 armor. It was beaten and bruised for sure. He didn't know that Liara had kept something like this, maybe she did still care about him.

Next were some more expensive Prothean objects, but nothing more. Shepard liked how Liara had layouted the apartment, simple but effective. Shepard headed to her second level and immediately gravitated towards her night stand. It had a picture of a Prothean ruin. He wondered if this was a dig site she had been to. He grabbed it to get a closer look when it changed to a picture of the Normandy. "Check every Prothean artifact, I just got a sort of message from Liara," Shepard called out to his squad and Vasir.

Colt headed back downstairs and approached another Prothean artifact. When he touched the glass a hidden drawer slid open and a video started playing. It explained where Liara was. In less than five minutes they were headed to Liara, and her informant's location.

...

Shepard, Vasir, Garrus and Tali stood in front of a building where Liara was. "Okay so we go in, and find Liar-," a massive explosion interrupted Shepard, and sent all four flying backwards.

When Shepard was able to stand there was still a ringing in his ears. They were lucky they all had protective clothing on or the explosion would have done a lot more damage. Civilians lay around moaning for their God, or asking what happened. Shepard still felt terrible himself. Then an awful thought occurred to him - Liara was inside the building that had just_ exploded. _

While Garrus, Tali, and Vasir were staggering around trying to get their bearings, Shepard was already flying up the stairs into the bombed building. Shepard didn't have any thoughts, just shoot, kill and run. He made his way through the building in impressive time, and killed the mercs that were in his way faster than on any other mission he had been involved in.

Finally he reached the last possible place Liara could be, but he only found a dead Salarian, Liara's contact. His heart sank so deep, Shepard could feel it in the bottom of his stomach. Dread pulsed through his body when he realized that Liara was dead.

"Did you find your asari friend's body?" Tela Vasir appeared out of nowhere and approached the grief stricken commander. Shepard was about ready to throw the other Spectre out of the nearby window at the mention of 'your asari friend.'

"You mean this asari?" Liara appeared out of the shadows, pointing her gun at Vasir. Shepard's heart lunged back up from his stomach and burrowed in his throat.

"Liara! It's okay, she's a Spectre," Shepard could have cared less if Tela had been shot at that moment. He was way too overjoyed.

"She tried to kill me," Liara growled. Now Shepard was enraged again. Nobody hurt Liara, or tried to hurt Liara. Before Shepard could do anything, however, Vasir disappeared.

"Shepard, thank the Goddes-," Before Liara answered Shepard had pulled her into a tight hug. He was _so _glad she was alright. She smelled like the best thing ever, it was too hard to describe. It just felt like Shepard was breathing in joy. The armor between them kind of ruined everything else, but Shepard was just glad she was okay. He had to cut the hug short though, because he was painfully aware of Garrus and Tali.

"What was that for?" Liara was smiling, something Shepard hadn't seen in ages.

"The building exploded... with you inside!" Shepard couldn't believe she didn't understand his excitement.

"I know, but we need to find Vasir," Shepard didn't care about what they did, he was just so relieved that Liara was okay.

…

Shepard should have waited for the glass to stop hitting Liara's biotic barrier, but instead of using his brain he charged forward. Liara called out to him to stop, but he kept going. Vasir started to run away, but Shepard tackled her. This sent them both through the glass window; the drop was about two stories.

Moments before Vasir had called Liara a pure-bred bitch. That was when Shepard had launched at her screaming, "Take it back, you bitch!" Then he had tackled her, and they went through the window.

Liara knew that Vasir would get away if someone wasn't actively chasing her so she jumped after them. She used biotics to slow her descent and then raced after Tela. She didn't check on Shepard, or even look to see if he was okay. Shepard would be okay, he was always okay.

...

"We have a minute to talk, Liara. We'll be jumping a few light years," Shepard reached out and turned Liara around to look at him.

"What do you want to talk about, Shepard?" Liara's voice was so uncaring. It hurt.

"I wanna talk about us," Shepard couldn't look Liara in the eyes anymore. They were too accusatory.

"What is there to talk about? I thought you were dating Miranda now," Liara's words shocked Shepard.

"What are you talking about?" Shepard had absolutely no idea what she was talking about.

"I received information that you and her went on a date on the Citadel," Liara's voice was harsh.

"Yes, we had lunch together, but that was it," Shepard remembered how they had gotten lunch a few days ago, but it was completely friendly.

"Really?" Sarcasm dripped from her words.

"Yes, really. I wouldn't cheat on you, Liara. You know I wouldn't. And what was that back there? I fell two stories, and you didn't even look back. I could've broken my back, but evidently you care more about capturing your precious Shadow Broker than seeing if your friend is okay," Shepard saw Liara visibly flinch back from his words. He felt bad for her, but he was too mad to say anything else.

"Shepard, I...I," Liara stammered out.

Shepard shoved his helmet on his head, and sealed it. He interrupted anything she could've said, "Come on. Let's just go," with that Shepard turned and headed towards the _Normandy. _


	34. LoTSB-Part 2

**Chapter Thirty Two: LoTSB-Part 2**

"Liara, stop giving the enemy tactical advice!" Shepard couldn't decide if he wanted to be super pissed at Liara, or laugh. Here they were on the Shadow Broker ship with hordes of baddies trying to kill them, and Liara is spouting tactical information.

"Sorry, Shepard, but seriously, their tactics are awful," Liara insisted on helping out the enemy.

"Liara, stop!" Shepard noticed that the enemy was in fact starting to use the tactics she had just said. They were so effective now, that Shepard got pinned down, "I'm pinned down over here."

"I'm coming," Liara shouted over the intercom. Bullets were now getting dangerously close to Shepard. His biotic barriers were going down dramatically. He couldn't shoot very well because all his concentration was going to keeping his barriers up.

"Hurry!" Shepard felt a bullet graze his armor on his side. Just when Shepard was getting ready to make a desperate run, a huge wave of biotics hit the enemies shooting at him. They all died. Liara turned the corner and helped him up.

"We'll, we've killed so many out here, that there should barely be any inside," Liara was watching intently as Shepard flared his biotics and restored his shields.

"That's not going to happen, there's always more inside," Shepard had been fighting too long to be optimistic.

"Optimism, Shepard," Liara was still looking at him strangely.

"Realism, Liara," with that Shepard walked to the doors leading to the base.

...

"Is that Feron?" Shepard's voice had something weird going on with it. He sounded so monotone. Liara suspected that it was because of their earlier conversation. She had said almost every wrong thing that could ever be said.

"Yes," Liara turned back to the Drell, "Feron, it's Liara, and Commander Shepard. We're going to get you out."

"Liara?" Feron sounded so confused.

"You helped me a couple years back," Liara told him.

"I remember, Drells have perfect memories, but why are you here now?" Feron asked.

"I thought you were dead, until I learned otherwise. Now I'm here to bust you out," Liara's voice sounded confident to herself. Good.

...

The Shadow Broker was a Yahg? What? Shepard could not believe his eyes. How the hell did that even happen? He sat in this huge chair, and confused the hell out of Shepard. Did the Council finally reach out to the Yahg while he was dead?

"You travel with interesting people, Commander Shepard," it could speak? "Archangel or Garrus Vakarian. I don't know what you hope to achieve through this, Doctor T'Soni. I know every secret, while you barely know how to hold a gun." Shepard felt the sting from his words, even though they weren't directed at himself.

"I imagine that you killed the old Shadow Broker, since this ship is older than a Yahg's lifespan. You probably came here because someone wanted you as a trophy... Or as a pet. How am I doing?" Shepard could be mistaken but he was pretty sure that when you were about to fight a big ass alien, you didn't piss it off.

The Yahg didn't say anything, it just stood up. He was probably ten feet, holy shit. Shepard backed up a little bit; he noticed that Liara, and Garrus were doing the same thing. Then it slammed its fist down in the direction of Shepard and Liara. Both of them flew backwards in a tangle of limbs. Shepard landed hard, with Liara landing just in front of him. Shepard's arm was thrown across Liara. "You okay?" Shepard whispered to Liara.

"Ya, hard landing," Liara replied while starting to stand. Shepard stood quickly and helped Liara. The Yahg was recharging or something because he crouched low to the ground. Shepard started shooting, but nothing seemed to work. He even threw a couple warps. Nothing happened.

"Shepard, nothing's happening," Liara shouted towards him.

"Then we'll do this old school," Shepard put his gun down, and cracked his knuckles.

"Shepard..." Liara asked uncertainly.

"Don't worry, I know what I'm doing," Colt had _no _idea what he was doing. Thinking too hard about things was dangerous in any situation. At least that's what Shepard liked to think.

He charged the giant creature and punched its shield, hard. Electricity crackled from the shield and coursed through Shepard's body. It didn't affect him though, his cybernetics probably dampening the effects. Shepard kept punching the Yahg until it finally it got a hit in, sending him sliding across the room.

"Shepard!" Liara screamed, but Shepard was up again in a matter of seconds. He charged the Yahg again; his fist shattered a piece of armor on its chest. His hand wasn't even scratched. Shepard was in the zone now, the feral instinct of self preservation taking over, making his punches increasingly more devastating. The Yahg couldn't get another hit on Shepard, and in minutes lay on the ground. His armor was shattered, blood was pouring out everywhere. The thing's face was a mess, but it was still alive.

He tried to recharge, but Shepard started in again. Colt launched onto it, and drove his fists down. This time his blows were primarily to the face. His fists sunk deeper and deeper into the Yahg's head. He stopped when he was satisfied that the Yahg was dead. He jumped from the Shadow Broker's body and prowled around the scene. Blood was seeping out onto the floor, and the Shadow Broker's face was completely unrecognizable.

"Shepard, are you...okay?" Liara touched Shepard's shoulder, making him jump at the contact.

"Me? I think asking the Shadow Broker would be a better idea," Shepard looked down at his own fists, and aside from the Shadow Broker's blue blood, everything was fine. In fact blue blood covered almost every inch of Shepard. He turned to find Garrus staring wide eyed at him.

"The power surged, so Feron was able to get loose. I don't know where he is now," Liara told him, and then a huge monitor filled with different cells of information started to talk. Many voices called out to see where the Shadow Broker was. Shepard almost laughed when he looked at he ruined body of the Shadow Broker.

Liara headed towards the monitor before pressing something and explaining that they just had a power fluctuation. Did she just become the Shadow Broker? Before he could ask, Feron came up behind him, and said, "You do this?" He gestured to the dead Shadow Broker. Shepard only nodded.

He walked towards Liara, and noticed she had her head in her hands. "Liara, what's wrong?"

"I've hunted the Shadow Broker down for two years, and now it's over," She lifted her head to show she had been crying. It hurt Shepard's heart. The thing was, he didn't think she was crying about two years of hunting down the Shadow Broker.

…

Shepard had returned to the _Normandy_ to clean up. He had been greeted by wide eyes and whispering. Sure it was unusual to kill a ten foot tall alien with just your fists, but they all knew he was upgraded. The only person who wasn't surprised was Miranda. She had run on few tests on him, and then let him go. She wasn't fazed at all, probably because she knew what his fist was made of, and knew it was capable of causing such damage. Shepard had changed quickly, wishing to speak with Liara more about her new occupation.

When he arrived again, the old Broker's body had been removed, and the blood was gone. It seemed like nothing had happened just hours ago. Liara was by the big monitor typing something.

"Hey, Liara," Shepard called out. "So what's your plan?"

"I think I'll remain here, and figure out how to be the Shadow Broker," Liara explained. Shepard didn't know what to say, so he let the silence go into awkwardness. Their earlier fight had made everything awkward. "Look...Shepard, I don't want us to become strangers. I said some wrong things back there, I know that, but no one is perfect," Liara almost never sounded happy these days, this was no exception.

"You didn't even look back, I could've been dead," Shepard hated how whiny he sounded compared to Liara's calm, uncaring tone, "And I'm not even dating Miranda!"

"Shepard I didn't look back because I knew you would be okay. You're always okay," Liara's voice actually held emotion this time. She sounded slightly desperate, like she was trying to convince herself rather than him. "As for Miranda, that was stupid. She obviously likes you, and I was stupid enough to believe that you felt the same," Liara took a step towards him.

"I understand," Shepard surprised even himself by those words.

"You do?" Liara sounded shocked.

"Ya, I do, but you need to trust me. I only like one person, and I wouldn't do anything to harm her," Shepard took a step forward.

"Who is that one person?" Liara was now playing with Shepard's hands. She wasn't looking at him.

"Well, let's see. She's blue, with very pretty blue eyes, has a new job, and is named Laura," Shepard couldn't resist messing with Liara.

"You ass," Liara laughed and pushed Shepard a little. He grabbed her hand and brought it up to his lips.

"I think it would be a good idea to visit me in the Normandy, miss. I have some wine I've been meaning to share with someone," Colt kissed her hand.

…

"So, you enjoy your tour?" Shepard asked. He was pouring wine into two glasses. It was the best wine he had. He also wore his civilian suit he used during the Morinth thing. He had been told that he looked hot in it.

"Your ship is very beautiful Shepard, I'm jealous," Liara was looking at the hamster Shepard had gotten from Morinth's apartment. He called it Boo. "Shepard if you get any more animals, the Normandy will become the traveling zoo." Liara was looking at the fish tank (which only had a few fish swimming around, fish were by far the hardest pets to keep alive), back at the hamster cage, and the varren toys spread out across his room. Rosebud was spending time with Mordin today.

"Sounds like a good idea to me," Shepard waited at the bottom of the stairs for Liara.

"So what happens when everything is over?" Liara was wearing a very pretty asari dress.

"Like when the Reapers are dead?" Shepard offered a wine glass to Liara once she was down the stairs. She didn't say anything, but she nodded.

"Well assuming I live, then marriage, old age, and lots of little blue children," Shepard grinned at her.

"You just say these things," Liara pushed him a little, and then took a swig of her wine. She turned her back and set the glass down. She was looking at something on the desk he never used. He remembered that an old piece of his N7 armor sat there. He needed it to make an order for a new set.

Liara approached the desk and leaned heavily on it, "That's it, isn't it? Assuming you'll live. Why would you say that Shepard?"

"Well, I don't know if I'm going to live through the Reapers. Nobody knows that," Shepard did not have a clue where all this came from.

"I waited two years for you to come back, Colt. To come back to me. It almost killed me. If we're going to do this, you have to promise me. You have to promise me that you're coming back. I don't think I could live again if you died," it seemed like all the emotion that Liara had been keeping in had boiled over in this moment. Her voice was a mix of sadness, desperation, agony, and it also had a pleading tone to it. She turned and revealed a network of tears flowing down her face.

"Oh Liara," Shepard reached for her hands, but she pulled away.

"Promise me, Colt," Liara was standing her ground.

Shepard sighed, "I can't promise you that I'll come back. I can't promise you that I'll live through the suicide mission, or that the Reapers won't kill me. But I will promise you that I'll try to make it back. I promise you that I'll fight like hell to be with you. I promise you that I'll try to make sure we get marriage, and little blue children." Shepard reached out and cupped Liara's cheek. "Does that sound good?"

Liara nodded, and pulled Shepard in for a kiss.

…

Liara and Shepard stood in the doorway between Shepard's commander cave, and the elevator. Neither wanted to say goodbye, but Liara had to head back to her ship, and Shepard had to start preparing for the suicide mission. "I'll see you, Shepard. Thank you...for everything," Liara then turned and headed into the elevator. She waved until the doors closed completely.

"Come back soon," was the only thing Shepard could get out, and even then it was only a whisper to nothing.


	35. My Name is Legion, For We Are Many

**Author's Note: Jack is in this chapter so they'll be more offensive language than normal. Sorry, but I like to keep things realistic. Also I apologize if this chapter seems a little flat. The Citadel DLC ruined my emotions for probably years.**

**Chapter Thirty Three: My Name is Legion, For We Are Many**

**"**So the Collectors are Prothean?" Shepard was having a hard time registering EDI's words.

"Yes; however, they aren't functional anymore in the sense of free will. They are being controlled, and aren't Prothean anymore," EDI explained. Was everyone as mind blown as Shepard was at this very moment?

"Well, we can't do anything for them, and they're trying to kill us, so nothing has really changed," Shepard glanced around the large room his team was in. He imagined all those humans in pods, and all pity for the Protheans left his body.

**...**

"Was that Geth friendly?" Shepard asked Jack and Grunt. He thought he had seen a Geth just save his sorry ass, but maybe he was seeing things.

"Well, he did save you," Grunt was looking at the platform it had been on thoughtfully.

"Ya, Shepard. He saved your ass from being fucking obliterated," there was always a normal answer, and then were Jack answers. Shepard was never disappointed with Jack's answers. They always made him laugh. "What the hell are you laughing at?" Jack was now eyeing Shepard disapprovingly.

"Your responses are always so eloquently delivered, and always make me contemplate life," Shepard responded, still laughing.

"Go to hell, Shepard," Jack started walking off. Shepard followed, laughing.

…

"Grab the Geth and go. I'll keep em' off you," Shepard stayed about ten feet in front of Grunt and Jack who were hauling the Geth. His aim was deadly accurate, Collector heads exploded, but for every one he killed ten more started chasing them. Good thing the _Normandy _was so close.

Shepard had to run backwards, or else he would've been over run by Collectors. This caused him to be slower than he wanted, and Collectors started to gain. The _Normandy _was thirty feet away. Grunt and Jack had just thrown the Geth to the _Normandy._ Now Grunt was preparing to jump. Shepard had run out of ammo, and was now completely relying on biotics.

The trouble was that Shepard ran out of energy quickly when he just relied on biotics. He turned to see Jack jumping aboard the _Normandy. _"Why is it always heights?" Shepard muttered to himself as he charged down the platform towards his ship. At the last possible second he jumped and flew into the air. He landed safely inside, but awkwardly. This made Shepard lean back, and he started going backwards. He tried desperately to throw his weight forward, but he was past the point of no return.

"Oh shit," Shepard yelled as he started to fall. Then something caught him, and hauled him aboard. Seconds later the doors closed, and Shepard felt the _Normandy _pick up momentum. He looked up to see Grunt standing above him.

"Thought you needed a hand," Grunt was chuckling the way that Krogans do when something horrible happens, and they think it's funny.

"I did, thanks," Shepard stood up and stumbled into the CIC. Most of the crew was standing there waiting for him. "Hey guys," Shepard waved before he collapsed.

He could hear people yelling for Doctor Chakwas, asking what happened, and generally panicking. He could feel himself being carried, before he passed out completely.

…

"Shepard, you overused your biotics," Doctor Chakwas' voice was the first thing he heard after being awake for several minutes.

"Sorry, but that's what happens when your ammo runs out," Shepard tried really hard to make Doctor Chakwas proud, seeing as she was kind of his mom for several years. She didn't sound disappointed, just tired.

"I know, but Liara kept calling me every hour to check on you," so that was the reason Chakwas was so tired. He swore her eye twitched.

"Sorry, I didn't even know she had access to my head cam video," Shepard felt some strange emotion running through him.

"The Shadow Broker can get almost anything they want," Chakwas just winked at him when she noticed his mouth wide open. Almost nothing got past Chakwas that was probably why she was higher ranking than Shepard. "You can leave when you want. I replenished your fluids, so you're good to go," Chakwas said.

"Thanks, doc," Shepard got out of bed, surprisingly strong and steady.

"And Shepard? For the love of anything you hold dear, please call Liara before she has an aneurysm," Chakwas grinned at him before going back to work.

…

"Alright EDI, reactivate this Geth," Shepard stood behind a barrier in case the Geth went nuts.

"Yes, Commander," EDI replied. In a couple of seconds the Geth was standing and looking at Shepard with its flashlight.

"Shepard-Commander," it said. That was also the moment when Shepard noticed the Geth had some of his old armor.

"What's your name?" Shepard asked.

"We don't have a name, for we are many," the Geth replied.

"My name is Legion, for we are many," this time it was EDI who spoke.

"That works for me, if you're okay with that," Shepard said. He could tell that Legion was friendly.

"That is fine," Legion answered.

"EDI, you can take away the shield," Shepard called to the ceiling. Once the shield was down he asked, "Why do you have a piece of my armor?"

"There was a hole, so we fixed it," Legion explained.

"Is that your only reason?" Shepard crossed his arms.

"No data available," was the only answer he got.

…

"Hey, Liara," Shepard smiled at the picture coming from his omni-tool.

"Colt! Are you okay?" Liara's face got closer to the screen.

"Ya, I overused my biotics. You know how that goes," Shepard had eaten _so_ much after his talk with Legion. He said it was because he needed the energy, but Shepard always ate a lot. He usually ate five thousand calories per day, sometimes more.

"Did you enjoy eating after that?" Liara asked, she knew how this went.

"It was lovely, probably gained a couple hundred pounds," Shepard patted his stomach. Liara chuckled and then looked at the screen seriously.

"I didn't know you were scared of heights," Liara's voice was curious.

"Well I'm not scared of anything, I just don't enjoy heights," Shepard laughed at his own words before continuing, "It didn't use to be like that. When I was above Alchera, I felt so high. I guess I just linked a bad experience with height," Shepard was lost in memories, until he heard Liara calling his name. "Sorry, sometimes I get pulled back," Shepard couldn't bring himself to look into Liara's eyes.

"Shepard, I'm an expert at bringing you back," Liara replied; her eyes were shining.


	36. Calm Before the Storm

**Chapter Thirty Four: Calm Before the Storm**

"Shepard-Commander, what should we do to the Geth heretics?" Legion stood by a console, while Shepard kept Geth away.

"You haven't decided yet?" Shepard yelled back.

"We're tied," Legion said back, Shepard envied how calm he was.

He was going to let Legion rewrite them. He would appear hypocritical because Saren had asked him if extinction was preferable to control, and Shepard had said extinction was better. He couldn't bring himself to kill all those Geth, though. "Rewrite them!"

"Understood, five percent complete. Shepard-Commander we need to get to the Normandy," Legion was heading for a nearby door, and Shepard called out for Mordin to follow before he ran after them.

"How long do we have?" Shepard asked. They had been stopped in a hallway just inside the door by four Geth.

"Three minutes," Legion replied.

"What? Everyone MOVE!" Shepard made sure Mordin and Legion were ahead of him before running after them. The next room was filled with Geth and Geth Primes. There was no time to deal with them so Shepard deployed a singularity that sent a lot of Geth floating. Mordin and Legion ran past him towards the _Normandy, _while Shepard shot at Geth.

When both of his crew members were aboard Shepard jumped on after them. His last loyalty mission was complete. Time for the Omega 4 relay.

...

"Alright everyone, load up," Shepard stood beside a shuttle waiting for his combat crew to get on. It was taking an unbelievable amount of time for everyone to pile in. When everyone had finally gotten in, Shepard stepped on.

"Shepard, we're pretty snug on this thing," Garrus was sitting next to Shepard and they were sitting shoulder to shoulder.

"Well Garrus, I thought this would be an excellent team bonding excercise. Teams that sit close together, stay together," Shepard explained. "I think we should also go around sharing our feelings," Shepard was desperately trying to stop himself from laughing.

"I'll go first," everyone's heads turned to Jack's sitting place. "Sitting this close to everyone like this makes me want to practice biotics." Jack's response cracked Shepard up.

"I don't know, I think it's nice seeing everyone in one place. At least my legs are thanking me, because they don't have to haul me all over the ship to only get responses like 'Shepard, can it wait a bit? I'm in the middle of some calibrations,' or ' Shepard, you should leave. I'm getting real tired of seeing your face,'" Shepard said.

"Shepard, I have something to confess," Garrus was trying to repel a laugh, "I need an intervention for my calibrating addiction."

"Why are you laughing Garrus? It seems like you really do have an addiction," this time it was Tali who spoke up. Shepard swore that he heard everyone go ooooohhhh. In fact he was about to ask if Turians could blush before EDI came on the mic in his ear.

"Hey EDI, what's up," Shepard noticed that everyone was looking at him, so she must be talking to only him.

"Shepard, the _Normandy _is under attack," Shepard stood up and made his way to the cockpit.

"EDI, please repeat," Shepard noticed how deathly silent the shuttle was, his crew must have noticed how serious he was.

"The_ Normandy _is under attack," that's what Shepard thought she said. For a moment Shepard found himself floating above Alchera.

"Understood, we're heading back now. Do you have any idea who's attacking?" Shepard could feel everyone's eyes burning into his back.

"The Collectors," EDI said. He didn't ask her what she was doing to deal with it, because he knew she was doing everything she could.

Shepard put a hand on his pilot's shoulder," We're going back to the _Normandy." _He turned back towards his crew, all signs of laughter from earlier gone.

"The _Normandy _is under attack from the Collectors. Everyone prepare for battle," Shepard said this while he did a quick check on his gun.

...

When Shepard had burst onto the _Normandy _with guns drawn there had been nothing. After a quick search of the cargo bay he had allowed the rest of the crew to get off the shuttle and search. There had been absolutely nothing, and that was the worst part. There weren't any engineers, or other personnel. When he had asked EDI if Joker was aboard she had said he was waiting in the conference room, so he brought Miranda with him to access the situation.

"Why are you the only one who is still on the ship?" Miranda was looking accusingly at Joker.

"Hey, I'm not the guilty one here. I got away because EDI kept telling me where to go and how to avoid the Collectors," Shepard could tell that Joker was getting more and more edgy.

"Miranda, can it. Joker I believe you, and that's all that matters. Is anyone else still here?" Shepard was asking anyone who could answer.

"It seems like all of your pets are fine," EDI answered.

"Rosebud?" Shepard asked the AI.

"She's fine, in fact she's still sleeping in your room," well at least someone wasn't affected.

"Joker set a course for the Omega Four relay, time to get our crew back," with that Shepard left the comm. room.

…

"Everyone, listen up. We're going to be at the Omega Four relay in twelve hours. It would be a good time to call those close to you. Tell them what's happening, and also make sure they know this isn't a suicide mission," Shepard had gathered all of his crewmates in the mess hall.

"Shepard...isn't this a suicide mission?" Samara spoke up.

"No, it isn't. Despite everything you've heard from everyone, this isn't suicidal. Every single one of you is coming back," Shepard looked in everyone's eyes. "If you follow everything I tell you to do, then everyone will make it. We'll be fine, it's just another day for the legendary _Normandy _crew. Am I right?" Shepard meant every word he said. Everyone cheered, and he got the feeling that they believed he would get them out alive.

...

Shepard had been thinking a lot about his mom lately. He knew that he needed to talk to her before he left for the Omega 4, but he couldn't get past the memories of being on the street and how it was his mom's fault. Now was the time to reconcile, though. If he did...die, then he didn't want his mom to have never known him.

"Hello?" Hannah's voice projected from Shepard's omni-tool.

"Hey mom," Shepard said back.

"Colt?! Is that you?" Hannah looked up.

"Ya mom, it is. In a few hours I'll be going through the Omega Four relay, so I guess I just wanted to say bye. You know, just in case," Shepard couldn't bring himself to say any more.

"Colt, I think you'll come out of this just fine," Hannah gave him a smile.

"Ya, mom. You're probably right, but I didn't want to end things like they were," Shepard smiled back.

"I'm sorry for going to the Terminus, Colt. I had to do my duty, something I'm sure you understand. Everyday I regret making that decision, but it seemed like the right thing to do at the time. If I could go back and tell the Alliance to shove it regarding that assignment, I would do it in an instant," Hannah's eyes were misty.

"I understand doing your duty, it's why I'm about to go on a suicide mission, but it's hard to forgive you. Living on the streets was the worst thing that's ever happened to me, and rightly or wrongly I still can't let it go," Shepard wasn't going to cry. He didn't cry, he drank ryncol. Lots of ryncol. "I hope you understand that."

"I do, and I'm glad you called, really. After your mission we need to go out for drinks, on me," Shepard was happy, he still wasn't completely over his mom's disappearance but he was getting there. "Good luck Colt, though I don't think you'll need it." They hung up.

Right when he was about to call Liara, someone knocked on his door. "Come in," he yelled.

Miranda walked through the door. "Shepard, I've been thinking and what if this is our last day to do anything?"

"Well then it's probably a good thing to do whatever you need to do," Shepard didn't understand why she was telling him this until she raised her eyebrows expectantly. "Oh, I see. Well Miranda, I'm already with someone," Shepard got up and took the picture of Liara off his desk. "You see, so I couldn't," Shepard felt so awkward.

"I understand, but she probably wouldn't even find out," Miranda had backed a safe distance away.

"Something tells me she would find out, she knows things like this," Colt was wondering if he had led Miranda on. He certainly hadn't done it on purpose.

"Shepard I can certainly admire your loyalty. No hard feelings?" Miranda seemed normal; he hoped she wouldn't be too upset by this.

"No hard feelings," he answered before she left his commander cave. He turned to see Rosebud giving him the WTF look.

"I have honestly no idea, girl," he then went back to dialing Liara.

"Hey Liara," Shepard smiled at how tired she looked. He knew it would be late on the Shadow Broker ship, but this was important.

"Hey," Liara also sounded tired.

"I'm going through the Omega Four relay soon. I have to get my crew back," Shepard explained.

"What do you mean?" Liara seemed wide awake now.

"You mean you didn't see it on my helmet cam?" Shepard then proceeded to explain what happened.

"Are you scared?" Liara had asked this question before they had headed to Illos. It was her way of asking if Shepard thought he was going to make it.

"Yes, I feel it in my gut," Shepard gave her what he thought was a creepy smile, and an awkward thumbs up. He didn't know how to say all the things he needed to, so he settled on trying to make her laugh. "So, I guess I'll see you later," Shepard scratched the back of his neck nervously.

"Come back, the galaxy would suck without you," that might be the nicest thing ever directed at Shepard.


	37. Suicide Mission

**Chapter Thirty Five: Suicide Mission**

"Alright, so it's settled. Tali will go in the vent, Legion and Grunt will go with me, and Garrus will lead Team B," Shepard surveyed the group and noticed how pleased Jack looked while Miranda looked upset. Shepard just couldn't say yes to Miranda leading the squad. "Let's go," Shepard led everyone out of the _Normandy. _"EDI get the _Normandy _working again, everyone's going home."

He jumped off the Normandy and gestured for Legion and Grunt to follow. He unhooked his M-76 Revenant. He took off for the place Tali was supposed to get in the vents.

"Tali, talk to me. Tell me about Rannoch," Shepard spoke into his comm. while blowing away Collectors who were in the way of getting help for Tali.

"Shepard, it's getting hot in here!" Tali cried into his comm.

"I know Tali, but do you trust me?" Shepard was going as fast as he could towards the next vent release.

"Yes," she said it like she didn't believe herself.

"Good, do you remember when I said that everyone is getting out of this alive? Well I didn't cross my fingers behind my back or something like that," Shepard was seconds away from hitting the vent release.

"What does that even mean?" Tali's breathing was getting heavy. Shepard reached out and hit the release.

"It means I wasn't lying," Shepard rasped.

…

Shepard, Legion, and Grunt were racing for the door in front of them. Behind was a whole army of Collectors threatening to overtake them. The rest of Shepard's squad was laying down covering fire. When Shepard and his band made it into the doors nothing happened, the door didn't close, and the Collectors were still bearing down on them. The noise of gunfire increased ten fold until it was a deafening roar. After what seemed like hours of bullets and Collector blood, the door finally closed.

"Okay gu-, " Shepard stopped mid-sentence when he saw Garrus clutching his stomach. "No Garrus, you don't get to die." Shepard rushed to his side and pulled out some dextro friendly medi-gel.

"It's fine Shepard. It just caught me by surprise, that's all," Garrus straightened back out and looked Shepard in the eye.

"That better be the whole godamned truth," Shepard was still inspecting the Turian's armor.

"It is," Garrus responded, while cocking his gun.

"Good, lets move people!" Shepard yelled, not letting how shaken he felt creep into his words.

...

"EDI, is everyone back on the ship?" Shepard was talking to her during a firefight. It was probably a firefight for legends considering they were fighting Collectors and a human Reaper.

"Yes. Mordin made it back with the entire support crew. Everyone is fine physically, but Doctor Chakwas is now doing psych evaluations," EDI voice betrayed no emotions - like always. "Garrus made it back with your second team, now we're only waiting on you."

"Wasn't Chakwas one of the people kidnapped?" Shepard could not believe that she was already doing her job. Hopefully her strength and sense of duty would be translated to Kelly, Donnelly, Daniels, and the rest of the crew that was taken.

"She was," EDI said. Then something remarkable happened. The human Reaper didn't get out of the abyss it had been leaping out of. Shepard waited for minutes, but nothing. They must have finally killed it.

"Alright, let's overload the reactor, people," Shepard knelt down beside the bomb and started typing in the activation code.

"Shepard! Stop, there's another way! I've been studying the schematics EDI sent me, and I've come to the conclusion that we can just send out a pulse that will kill everything living, but keep the technology intact. Be more prepared for the Reapers!" The Illusive Man's holograph shimmered from Legion's omni- tool.

Shepard almost said yes. He could see how the base would be useful in the future, but then he remembered how they liquefied people. He remembered those screams, and pleas for help being cut off. The Illusive Man couldn't be trusted with something so deadly. "They liquefied people! This place is something that needs to be purged of this world."

"Save your self-righteous bullshit, Shepard. This decision could save or kill millions of people," the Illusive Man was wasting valuable time.

"If you put your sorry ass on the line, then you could make these decisions, but you didn't. I'm the one doing it, so I'll make the call. I'm destroying it," Shepard turned around, and put the rest of the code in. "We have ten minutes, lets go!" Then Shepard heard a familiar noise, the human Reaper.

It must have been weakened from the earlier fight because Shepard and his team had beaten it down in four minutes. Not before it crashed into the platform, however. This sent Legion sliding down the side of the platform, so naturally Shepard went after him. Shepard sent a silent prayer to whoever listened to him anymore, thanking them that Grunt wasn't who had started sliding. His improved muscles easily pulled Legion up, but the platform fell again. Shepard only had seconds to register that another platform was hurtling at them, and then everything went dark.

When Shepard regained conscience, there was a piece of twisted metal sitting on top of him. "Ohh God," he groaned as he threw the metal off him. His back cracked several times before he stood up straight. He checked his watch, they had four minutes.

Grunt was under another piece of metal, but easily threw it off. Shepard found Legion not too far away, and hauled piece of debris of him. Everyone seemed no worse for wear. "Head to the _Normandy_, we only have a few minutes left." His team didn't need to be told twice, as they charged for the ship.

Shepard fired backwards at the Collectors that were now chasing them, but he kept going. The steady stream of enemies convinced Shepard that firing back was completely useless, so all his thoughts drained to just keep his feet moving. Up ahead he saw Legion and Grunt jump into the _Normandy. _Relief flooded Shepard as he realized everyone had made it, and his promise was going to be kept.

That hope went away as quickly as it came, when the platform next to the _Normandy _fell. Shepard would have to jump a hell of a long way and they only had a few minutes left. "Shepard to Normandy. I'll hold em' off, you guys get out of here!"

"No can do, Commander. I'm not even at the controls," Joker's voice sounded in his ear. Shepard would have to jump. His modified legs allowed him to gain more and more speed until the last moment. Then he jumped off.

Traveling through the air was agonizing, as his fate hung in the air. Then Shepard realized he wasn't going to make it, so he extended his arm out and just barely caught the edge of the _Normandy. _"It's always heights, isn't it?" Shepard muttered.

Grunt grabbed Shepard's arm and hauled him inside. Joker was clearly enjoying himself as he swore and sprayed the Collectors with bullets. "Shepard, is this going to become a habit? Where you jump and I have to haul you in?" Grunt asked.

"Let's hope not," Shepard was leaning against the _Normandy's _metal paneling when EDI took them back through the Omega Four relay.

…

No one had died, and only mild injuries were reported. Shepard had meant it when he said everyone was going home. His trip through the cargo bay was truly unforgettable, his crew was packing up, and cleaning supplies, but everyone turned and nodded at him. It was probably the biggest sign of respect he had received in any of his lives.

Something that made the trip even better was the absence of coffins. An area had been cleared away for that reason, but now it lay empty in a victorious silence. What made the trip worse was that Shepard was on his way to the Illusive Man.

"Shepard, your fascination with keeping imaginary honor cost human lives," The Illusive Bastard was sitting on his little chair, smoking a cigar that would hopefully give him cancer, and sipping on alcohol that would hopefully destroy his liver.

"I did the right thing. That base is an atrocity," Shepard was getting real tired of his shit. They couldn't work together anymore, their differences were far too large.

"You're wrong-" The Illusive Man started.

"No, your wrong, and I'm done dealing with your bullshit. Consider our partnership over," Shepard walked out of the device that projected him to the Illusive Man. He was split right down the middle. One half of him wanted nothing else to do with the Illusive Man, and the other part felt sad. The Illusive Man tried to do the right thing, and Shepard truly didn't mind him. He felt that the Illusive Man thought of himself as his father, and had a weird way of showing that he liked Shepard. Shepard had to get away, no matter how useful the Illusive Man was, he wouldn't be now. Shepard could only hope that Illusive Man could help him again in the future.


	38. Traitor

**Author's Note: ****17986 gave me this idea. See reviewing and messaging me really does help, and your ideas could end up in With Lions. Exciting stuff people, also the person who proofreads With Lions is leaving for a couple of days, so you probably won't see an update until Monday or Tuesday of next week. **

**Chapter Thirty Six: Traitor**

_"What?" Shepard stood by the couch in their Thessia hotel. His voice was easy and teasing, like it always was. _

_"Why do you always have to have the vid screen on?" Liara grumbled. She was looking for something to eat in the rather spacious and modern kitchen. It was the usual soft curves all asari appreciated, and reminded her of her mother's estate. _

_"Sorry, did I wake you up?" Shepard sounded guilty, and Liara immediately regretted saying anything. The fact that he dodged her question didn't escape the asari's keen mind. Shepard almost never says anything about himself. Liara was coming to the conclusion that talking about himself is an automatic suspension to the bare plain of vulnerability, at least in Shepard's mind. It's always there, a sort of restraint that always hangs over him. His question is a perfect example of this, he pushes away any questions about himself, and redirects it to someone else's needs. _

_"Only a little and you still didn't answer my question," she stood back up and gave Shepard the best smile she could muster in the morning. _

_"Silence is the unknown," Liara hopes she imagines the sadness in Shepard's voice. _

"Shadow Broker, your search parameters regarding Commander Colt Shepard, and the SR-2 Normandy have been activated. The SR-2 has been put into emergency lockdown for unknown reasons," Glyph was hovering by Liara's head pulling her from difficult memories.

"Glyph, can you please try to access the Normandy's interior cameras," Liara was now typing furiously, trying to access anything from the Normandy.

"Certainly Shadow Broker. I have a feed from the Mess Hall where there are major disturbances," one of Liara's screens changed from agent reports to a live feed.

…

"...So then it turned out that it wasn't a peanut," Shepard was explaining to a group including Doctor Chakwas, Tali, and most of the engineering department. They sat in the Mess Hall having lunch together. The majority of the crew was having lunch, and the Mess Hall was filled. It was the day after the suicide mission, and everyone was reveling in the fact that it wasn't suicidal. Shepard had allowed everyone to have a lazy day.

Chakwas was laughing extremely hard, and about to reply when something whizzed by Shepard's head. A second later a bullet grazed the side of his head. "Everyone get down!" Shepard screamed.

"Initiating emergency lockdown," EDI's voice sounded over the intercom. Red emergency lights started flashing. Shepard pushed as many people he could under their table, and then leaped on top of it. Jacob stood behind the counter of the kitchen.

"What the hell Jacob, was that you?" Shepard was now producing a biotic barrier. Blood trickled down his face, just missing his eyes. Instead of answering him, Jacob continued firing shots at Shepard's biotic barrier. Shepard didn't have any weapons with him, so he gathered biotic energy in his fists.

He jumped off the table and threw a warp at Jacob, which he dodged. They were circling each other now, their movements were feral. Papers were whipping around, being pulled in by Shepard's barrier. He tried to make it as large as possible so he could protect the people behind them. The sheer size of the barrier started pulling anything loose towards it. The people who had been enjoying lunch earlier were under tables now, since no one here had biotics or weapons. No one expected to be attacked at home.

Jacob threw a warp at Shepard that was easily deflected by his barrier; however, he kept throwing them. Since the barrier was so large it was too thin to block continual hits. One of the warps was weakened, but made it past Shepard's barrier, and hit his left arm. This sent Shepard's legs sliding back a couple of feet until he hit the Med Bay's wall. A horrible crack resounded through the Mess Hall when Shepard's left arm was hit, and it hung uselessly beside his body. Shepard roared in pain and anger.

"You're dead, you sad excuse for a human biotic. I hope you like being fucking turned into juice, because once I'm done with you, everything that's left will fit into a coffee cup," Shepard screamed at Jacob. He started a biotic charge and in a second was at Jacob's location. He hit the other man so hard that he flew back into the metal cabinets behind him. The doors of the cabinets were ripped off their hinges, and the sound of the impact reverberated throughout the Normandy.

…

"EDI what is going on?!" Garrus was in the main forward battery. He was peacefully calibrating a huge-ass gun when a red light had started flashing. He had tried to open the door, but nothing happened.

"Deadly force is being exchanged in the Mess Hall, and anything deemed deadly aboard the _Normandy _is on automatic emergency lockdown. Every room has been locked down, and will only be opened when Commander Shepard deems it safe," Garrus grew even more concerned when he heard a huge crash.

…

Shepard then picked up Jacob with his biotics, which incapacitated him. Jacob's gun fell to the floor. Shepard slowly increased the pressure of biotics on his body until Jacob was panting for air.

"Shepard, you made a mistake destroying the Collector base, and an even bigger one abandoning the Illusive Man. He gave us mountains of supplies and funding, and now you expect to be able to just freelance without any funds," Jacob yelled at Shepard.

"So you were going to shoot me?" Shepard knew all along that there was something wrong with Jacob.

"With you out of the way, Miranda would've been the Commanding Officer, and we would've gone back to the Illusive Man. I don't have a problem with you Shepard, but we needed Cerberus to get anything done," Jacob was a little hard to hear while he was encased in biotics.

"Do you know what happens to people who betray me?" Shepard asked, increasing the biotic pressure around Jacob. At this point Jacob speaking was not possible. "Let's just say that's not a pleasant experience." Shepard folded his fist entirely, which made the biotics around Jacob crumple on him. When Shepard released his biotics, a puddle of bones and bodily fluids spilled onto the floor.

Exhaustion and pain from his left arm made Shepard take a knee. His head was bowed as his mind tried to sort through everything that had just happened. He had basically just liquefied one of his subordinates.

"Commander Shepard, can I lift the emergency lockdown? My sensors are indicating that the threat has been eliminated," EDI asked.

"Lift the lockdown, I've taken care of everything," Shepard looked down and realized he was kneeling in a pool of blood. He didn't know if it was Jacob's or his own.

"Shepard," Chakwas' voice was right above him. "Do you think you can make it to the Med Bay?" When Shepard looked up he saw everyone who was in the Mess Hall hidden behind tables, standing and looking around dazed. Miranda had appeared out of her XO cabin, Garrus was running towards him from the main battery.

"No, I don't think I can. My biotics just wiped me out," Shepard could feel that he was leaning back against the Med Bay wall. He started getting tunnel vision.

"Come on Shepard, stay with me. Try not to pass out. Garrus get over here and talk to Shepard!" Chakwas yelled. Shepard turned his head towards his left arm and saw bits of metal, and what he thought was bone poking out. Blood and clear liquid seeped out from where his skin was broken.

"Hey Shepard. Tell me about Rosebud. How's she doing?" Garrus' face was hovering right in front of Shepard's line of vision. He could see people's faces behind Garrus. "Come on Shepard, answer me!" Garrus was yelling in his face.

"I don't know... what?" Shepard didn't know what was happening anymore. "We have to defeat the Reapers! Did you enjoy your vacation, Kaiden?" Shepard saw ten Kaidens in front of him. They were all asking what his name was. Wasn't Kaiden dead?

Shepard tried to scramble backwards from the ghost, but something stopped him. He summoned his biotics, but someone yelled in his ear to calm down. A million whispers entered his mind. Some asked what happened, others were in disbelief over Jacob's death, and others were yelling about blood loss, transfusions, and confusion. Shepard fell into unconsciousness.


	39. Blowing Up Batarians

**Author's Note: The person who proofreads With Lions will once again be gone. So don't expect an update until Sunday or Monday.**

**Chapter Thirty Seven: Blowing Up Batarians**

"So Shepard… Did you just do this so there was no doubt that pissing you off was a bad idea?" Garrus asked.

"Pretty much, watch yourself Garrus or else I'll have to liquefy you too," Shepard and Garrus sat in the Mess Hall. Shepard was supervising the repair work, while Garrus kept him company. "One comment about my dancing, and boom! I'll make you into Turian coffee," Shepard had woken up hours earlier from his unconscious state. His arm had been repaired by none other than Miranda Lawson, and he was told that she did it at just under an hour and a half.

"Oh, but you'd miss this voice, plus all the women only talk to you because I'm around," Garrus turned his head to what Shepard thought was the scarred side (Shepard couldn't tell which side had been hit by a rocket). "These scars drive women insane," Garrus gestured to his face.

"While all of those things are true, you're forgetting about my facial scars, and the fact that they glow. Since my face glows like Omega's signs, people don't forget me easily," Shepard shoved his chin out, in an attempt to one up Garrus.

"I'll give you one hundred creds right now to get a Fornax ad scrolling through your face. That way you really will be like Omega," Garrus replied, seemingly scanning Shepard's face for the best ad space.

"That would certainly make Alliance gatherings more interesting," Shepard changed his voice so he sounded uptight, "Umm excuse me, Commander Shepard. Is that Fornax ad on your face?" Shepard changed his face back. "I would have some copies stuffed in a corner, and when someone asked I would hand one to them and whisper in their ear, 'First one's free, don't tell anyone where you got it.'"

"Shepard, you have this planned out surprisingly well," Garrus replied.

Before Shepard could say anything Joker's voice comes over the intercom, "Shepard, Admiral Hackett wants to speak with you."

"Duty calls, make sure they don't mess anything up," Shepard pointed his finger in Garrus' face with mock anger, and then he turned to take Hackett's call.

…

"So Hackett, sir, you're saying I need to go in alone to rescue your friend? Rescue her from Batarians," Shepard wanted to save Hackett's friend, but going in alone sounded dangerous. Plus he knew when he was put into a situation with Batarians, he tended to act differently.

"More than one person and you'll attract too much attention. That is dangerous, but I wouldn't ask if I didn't think you could handle it. This is big, Commander. She found evidence of an imminent Reaper invasion," Hackett's biggest scar wiggled when he talked and it distracted Shepard a little bit.

"I'll get on it right away, sir," Shepard was trying so hard to not stare at the scar, but he was almost positive Hackett knew what he was doing.

"Thanks, Shepard. Hackett out," The image of the admiral faded out and Shepard called out for EDI to call the crew together.

Thirty minutes later Shepard had gotten through explaining what the mission was and how he had to do it alone.

"Shepard, going in alone sounds like an awful idea," Tali stepped to the front of the crew.

"I have to agree with her, Battle Master," Grunt said. Then everyone started talking all at once about how he shouldn't go alone, and how this all seemed like a bad idea.

"Alright, alright! I understand that going in alone is something that I've never done while commanding the _Normandy_, but I used to do solo missions. I'll be fine, it's not like I've never done it. Hackett has entrusted me with the safety of his friend, and I don't intend to mess up. I'll be leaving in five hours. Crew dismissed," Shepard hoped that he sounded more self assured than he felt.

...

"Good luck, Commander," was the last thing he heard from his shuttle pilot before he was left all alone on Aratoht. The weather was miserable, of course.

"Shepard to _Normandy_. Is my camera working?" Shepard fiddled with the tiny camera for a second.

"Affirmative Commander. Planet looks like a shithole," Miranda said.

"It sure is. Make sure all communications are blacked out. The only thing I want working is my camera," Shepard stood under a platform to get out of the rain. It was an awful experience - wearing armor while it rained.

"We'll be able to hear you, but you won't be able to hear us. If you want to talk just say and we'll activate communications again. Going dark in three, two, one," the usual buzz that was usually in Shepard's earpiece disappeared completely.

After cutting the power he entered the building. The smell was almost unbearable. The stink of urine and feces hung in the air. He even had to kill a few wild Varren which made him sad; he hoped Rosebud wasn't watching.

His journey through the prison had so far revealed several things to him. One: Doctor Kenson was still alive, she heard her talking to a Batarian, Two: She and some other people had planned to slam an asteroid into the nearby Mass Relay. He got this information through overhearing and the equivalent of Batarian diaries.

Before long Shepard discovered the room where Kenson was being interrogated. "If she doesn't talk, kill her," a deep voice sounded. Shepard found the back way into the room and easily knocked out the guard with his fists.

"Who are you? What do you want from me?" Doctor Kenson was being held by a nasty looking device. It held her head and body, while an arm with two prongs circled her head, no doubt some type of torture device.

"I'm Commander Colt Shepard, and I'm here to save you," Shepard hacked into the chair quite easily and released the doctor. He handed her a gun.

"I heard you were alive. I found evidence of a Reaper invasion, and we need to get the evidence back. I need to find a console to make an escape path," Doctor Kenson slammed her foot down on the Batarian guard's head.

"Let's go!" Shepard yelled.

…

"Their defenses won't have enough time to come back up, we'll be fine," Doctor Kenson and Shepard were in a shuttle they had hijacked a few minutes earlier after fighting through a horde of Batarians.

"Do you think they'll follow us?" Shepard glanced out the window nervously.

"Maybe, I'm a high priority target. They don't take kindly to people who want to blow up their mass relay," Kenson also turned to look out the window at the nearby mass relay.

"Mind telling me why you were going to destroy it?" Shepard didn't think meddling with technology they didn't understand was a very good idea.

"I discovered information that the Reapers are going to invade the galaxy using Bahak's relay. It's the Alpha Relay, so they can get anywhere in the galaxy," did Kenson have any idea how big this was? The Reapers could be arriving within hours.

"So you were going to blow it up?" Shepard really didn't like the sound of this plan.

"Exactly. We just simply called it 'The Project.' We were going to launch an asteroid into the relay to slow the Reapers. Traveling with FTL can take months or years to get anywhere," Kenson explained. "It is likely that it would've destroyed the whole system. The explosion would rival that of a supernova. There is a colony of three hundred thousand Batarians that the explosion would undoubtedly kill."

"Three hundred thousand?!" Shepard could not believe what she was telling him. "You didn't even try to warn them?"

"There was no time, and besides it's not like Batarians are very friendly to humans," Kenson's voice was unwavering. It held no regret for the mass murder she was about to commit.

"Look, I'm no fan of Batarians, but that is genocide. You should've tried to warn them," Shepard's blood was boiling, but he tried to keep himself in check.

"Maybe, but we didn't. They aren't dead yet, so I suppose there's still time," Kenson responded, calm as ever. "We found a Reaper artifact, Object Rho, which showed me their arrival. It was a necessary evil, to prolong the Reapers."

"I need to see proof. Killing three hundred thousand people is nothing to take lightly," Shepard thought this all sounded weird, but was willing to see what was happening. Killing three hundred thousand people might be necessary to save the galaxy.

"Fine, we'll go back to my base. Just sit back and enjoy the ride Commander," Kenson said, settling down on a shuttle seat.

…

"What the hell is that countdown timer for?" Shepard had arrived at the base of 'The Project.' Above him was a large monitor counting down. There was two days, three hours, twenty five minutes, and nineteen seconds on it.

"It's counting down to the Reaper invasion," was all the Doctor said, before heading into the base. The base was an intricate thing with lots of rooms and paths, and a great deal of people around.

"Is there an alternative?" Shepard asked while following the surprisingly quick doctor through the base.

"Well, the Reapers will arrive eventually, but destroying the Alpha relay makes them a lot slower," Kenson said.

"We have to get the project running again, it's our only chance, but this time we'll try to evacuate the Batarians," Shepard was trying to get a door open.

"Hold on, let me open it," Kenson typed on her omni-tool for a moment before the door opened. Inside Object Rho just sat there with no protection, out in the open. Hell, Shepard had been in there for a total of four seconds and he could hear whispers.

"You have it sitting in the open?!" Shepard yelled in Kenson's face. This was a huge mistake.

"One minute, Commander. The object will give you your proof," Kenson completely ignored Shepard's concern and approached the object. Whispers and dark tangles whipped around Shepard's head.

"This is not good, Kenson," Shepard walked towards the object. Suddenly a sensation he had felt before entered Shepard's mind and he saw Reapers heading towards the Alpha Relay. Shepard fell to his hands and knees as the images tore through his mind. When the object released him he turned his head to find a gun in his face.

"I can't let you start the project, I can't let you stop the Arrival," Shepard was barely staying conscience, and he couldn't stand. In a last ditch effort he grabbed her arm and twisted. He could feel the crackle as her bones broke. "KILL HIM!" Kenson roared, while retreating, holding her broken arm. Shepard stumbled for cover. Bullets flew above his head from the people shooting at him. He got his bearings back slowly, but at least he returned to normal.

The first few guards were easy, killed almost instantly. Then a second wave came, and Shepard had to take a little longer. Then a third wave, which only served to give Shepard a bigger headache. Then a fourth wave came, and he knew this had to end quickly. Then the fifth and everything went to shit.

Shepard had been shot before, it was part of the job, but he always got up from it. At the worst he spent a couple hours, even days in the med-bay. This was something different. The force being thrown at him was unbelievable, and he was starting to fail. Even with his fancy upgrades, and supposedly super soldier quality about him, he knew he was going to lose.

…

"Shepard can't handle this force," Miranda stood up and started pacing. She stood in the Mess Hall, along with most of the crew watching the live feed from Shepard's camera. They set up a screen so members could watch the ground crew.

"We can't go in, because his location is dark," Garrus replied. He was still sitting and watching the screen intently. "His location has been blocked ever since he got into that shuttle with Kenson."

"Goddamit, he's going to die!" Miranda turned back to the screen and noted the blood and clear liquid that was spattered on the glass near Shepard.

"Joker, we need to get to Shepard ASAP," Chakwas spoke up now - she was also watching while monitoring her omni-tool which probably had Shepard's vitals.

"What the hell is he doing?" Miranda turned back to the screen when she heard someone shout that. Shepard had taken a small bag off his belt and was unzipping it. Inside contained several vials and needles. He took one vial and drew the liquid out of it before injecting himself.

"I gave him those for emergencies only. What he just injected himself will over clock his cybernetics. He can't do that often, because it'll burn his cybernetics out if used too much," Shepard turned his head towards his torso, and gave the crew a nice look of his wounds. A bullet hole in the small space between two plates of armor closed up in seconds. Other wounds in his torso followed suit. It seems like the liquid was doing a great job.

Then he pulled out another vial, and drew out liquid from it. "What's that for?" Garrus asked, wincing in sympathy when Shepard injected the stuff.

"That will make his biotic amp more powerful. Again, this can't be overused," Miranda explained. The small biotic barrier around Shepard increased sizes dramatically, glowing even bluer as more energy flowed into it.

Shepard's voice crackled over the live feed's video, "Give me five days. Longer than that and I'm dead." Shepard started to reload all of his guns and then took a huge deep breathe. "One, two, three," He charged out of cover with guns blazing. He took out a few people before his biotic barrier was taken down. Blood drizzled down Shepard's camera, and he collapsed backwards.

"_Commander Colt Shepard requires immediate medical attention," _Chakwas' omni-tool spoke with urgency. It was flashing. The screen showed the people who had almost killed Shepard standing over him.

"Take him to the med-bay. We want Commander Shepard alive, and shut off his camera," the voice belonged to Kenson. Movement was heard before the screen went black.

…

"The computer is reading that Commander Shepard is waking up, probably just a glitch," were the first words Shepard heard when he started regaining conscience. This was startlingly familiar way to wake up. He stood up from the table he had been on, and searing pain ripped through his torso. He punched the two guards hard enough for them to go down and then Colt fell to the floor. The pain almost to the point of blackout.

"Come on, get up," Shepard told himself, and hauled his body up with great effort. He then stumbled to the mech controls and got out of the closed off section he was in. About ten minutes after breaking out and wandering around he found his gear. He turned on his camera and spoke into it, "Is anyone on the Normandy seeing me?"

"I read you, Shepard. Patching your video to the Mess Hall screen," Joker answered, "it's good to hear your voice, Commander. We all thought you were a goner."

"Thanks for trying to find me," Shepard was very slowly putting his armor back on.

"Your locator isn't working, we have no idea where you are," Joker responded.

"Here, let me try to send out another signal," Shepard fiddled with something else attached to his armor. "Anything?"

"I've pinpointed your location, Shepard. Should we come and get you?" This time it was EDI who spoke.

"No, I need to fire the meteor controls. Then you can get me," Shepard winced in pain as hit his torso.

"Shepard, its Garrus. Are you okay?" Shepard doubled over in pain as it shot through him. Before he could stop it he vomited a mixture of blood and thick clear liquid.

"I have internal damage for sure," Shepard swiped his hand over his mouth.

"Commander, you need medical attention immediately. I told Joker to start getting to your location, and we'll be there in three hours. In the meantime you need to get medical equipment," Chakwas spoke over the intercom.

"No can do, I need to finish Project Rho," Shepard had finished putting on his armor. He started to head to the room where he thought the launch button was.

"Shepard you could potentially die if you don't get necessary medical equipment now. Is this worth more than your life?" Chakwas asked.

"Yes," Shepard replied, once again showing his dedication to the mission. No one spoke for a long time after that.

Shepard came to a communication system that connected to the Batarian colony. "Attention: There is going to be an ex-,"

Shepard was cut off by Kenson's voice yelling something at him. He hoped he would get another chance to contact the Batarian colony. He ran to the next room and found a massive number of people waiting for him. He couldn't fight because the clock was so close to the invasion. So he summoned all the biotics he could muster and released them. The blue wave slammed his enemy into walls, killing or knocking them out.

He stood up from his cover, and found his energy even more depleted. He felt his side was wet, so he reached his hand down and it came up bloody. His worst gunshot had reopened. He could only hope that the cybernetics would close it soon.

In a matter of minutes he found the launch for the meteoroid, but no comm. system. There was no time left, so he launched it. There was a vid screen next to the button. With horror, Shepard realized he was watching a city that was about to be destroyed. Batarians walked about, with no indication anything was wrong. Another screen contained the picture of the Alpha Relay. He watched it explode and release a devastating wave of power. The Batarians in the other screen watched and pointed to the sky as the wave grew closer. Shepard saw buildings and people disintegrate before the camera was destroyed.

"What did I do?" Shepard fell backwards as the magnitude of what he had just done washed over him. "Oh my God," Shepard felt so numb, the pain in his torso was no longer there.

"Shepard, we're going to be there very soon, okay?" He didn't know who he was talking to anymore. He could only see that blue wave hit those civilians over and over again.


	40. Goodbye

**Author's Note: Legionary Prime and Agent Rhode Island gave me ideas for this chapter, and for that I thank you. Sorry for the delay but writers block kept me from posting this Sunday or Monday. Also, everything in italics are memories.**

**Chapter Thirty Eight: Goodbye **

Hackett had come aboard the _Normandy_ about an hour ago. Everyone saluted and showed the proper respect, but he could hear the whispers. Shepard's crew was one of the most elite groups of people ever assembled, but they were still uneasy at his presence. Hackett knew that they understood that he didn't show up on ships to just say hello, even to the great Commander Shepard. They understood that something was happening, but what hung in the air was if it was good or bad.

Hackett liked Commander Shepard. In fact they would probably be good friends if work wasn't in the way. That wasn't the point though; some of the worst criminals are very likeable. Not that Shepard was a horrible criminal, but the law wasn't something that only a few people had to follow. Killing three hundred thousand people would have dire consequences. He just hated doing this to someone who was such a good influence over everything he touched.

"Shepard, I don't know how to say this...but you're going to be a wanted criminal in seventy two hours," Shepard was shirtless with bandages circling his entire torso. He sat on one of the _Normandy's _med-bay beds.

"What?!" Shepard looked up at Hackett.

"The Alliance is processing your arrest warrant, and in seventy two hours, if you haven't turned yourself in, then..." Hackett stopped there.

"Sir, I had to kill those Batarians. The Reapers would've invaded," Shepard stood up and started pacing.

"I know, and if I were in charge, I would give you a medal," Hackett responded.

"Where do I need to turn myself in?" Shepard was still pacing and now wringing his hands.

"Arcturus Station and you don't have to wear your dress uniform, but maybe it would remind people that you're not the enemy. Then from there you're going to be transported to Vancouver. That's where the Alliance's major legal proceedings happen. Listen Shepard, I don't think they can pin you on these charges. You're still a Spectre and technically you can get away with something like this. I think they know that, so they're going to make you await trial for a long time. The Batarians are up in arms about this, and the only way to avoid a war with them is to arrest you. So they'll keep you waiting until this blows over. I never told you any of this, alright?" Hackett shifted in his cold, uncomfortable seat.

"Thank you, sir. I'll remember that, and I'll wear my uniform. I appreciate you telling me in person," Shepard stopped pacing and looked Hackett straight in the eye.

"Shepard, you also need to drop your crew off. Anyone you bring with you would be considered arrested for helping a terrorist," Hackett knew this would be a low blow, but it had to be said.

"A terrorist?" Shepard rubbed his neck.

"Yes, you're being charged for genocide and being a member of a known terrorist organization," Hackett felt so bad for Shepard. Here was a man who gave everything to the Alliance, and now they were going against him.

"I see. Thank you for telling me that, sir. At least I know what the situation is, but may I ask a question?" Shepard was sitting on the table again.

"Sure," Hackett hated how he always had to talk to everyone with so many formalities. As an admiral, conversations with just friends were rare.

"Why did you tell me in person? Why not send me an email, or have someone else tell me?" Shepard wasn't looking at him in the face anymore.

"You're a good person, Shepard. You're the best soldier I've ever seen, and I like to think that we're friends. Plus you've done so much for the Alliance, the least I could do is tell you what the situation is in person," Hackett stood up, and patted Shepard on his unwounded shoulder.

"Thank you, sir. That means a lot coming from you," Shepard smiled for the first time since Hackett had come into the _Normandy's _med-bay.

"I'm just sorry this happened to you Shepard," Hackett sighed, "I must go now, so I bid you farewell."

"Goodbye, sir," Shepard's face disappeared behind the doors, and Hackett felt guilt settling in him. Like it or not he was the reason why Shepard had gone on that awful mission.

…

"Alright Chakwas, Hackett is gone," Shepard said as he entered Doctor Chakwas' back room, where she had gone to give more privacy to the officers.

"Shepard, I'm afraid I have bad news," Chakwas turned from a console towards him. Shepard sighed; today was not a good day.

"Me too, but you go first," Shepard leaned against a wall for support.

"My scans of your body are showing that you're not healing as you should. Your cybernetics weren't completely integrated into you when you received those gunshots, and that upset their rhythm as well as your natural tissue. In short your body needs time to heal, and get used to itself again. I'm sorry Commander, but I'm going to have to recommend that you go on medical leave for six months. If you don't give yourself time to heal, then your body will reject your cybernetics," Chakwas patted Shepard's shoulder.

"Well okay, makes sense to me. I need to call the crew together, I also have bad news," Shepard turned to leave into the main med-bay.

"Wait. Why aren't you yelling at me and saying that there's no way that you're going to take medical leave?" Chakwas looked over Shepard suspiciously.

"I'm calling the crew together to tell everyone, you included. Then you'll find out, but... it's not good news," Shepard's eyes held some unspeakable, heart-wrenching emotion.

A moment later EDI's voice came over the ship wide intercom," All crew report to the Mess Hall. I repeat, all crew. I will run the _Normandy _for the meetings duration."

...

"Is everyone here?" Shepard asked. He had his back turned to everyone.

"Yes," was said at the same time by almost everyone.

"I have some really bad news everyone," Shepard turned but kept his eyes downcast. "The Alliance is charging me with genocide and working with a known terrorist. In seventy two or so hours I will be an enemy of the Alliance," Shepard stopped to collect himself. He looked up briefly and saw the shocked faces of his crew. Some had their hands over their mouths, and other people let their jaw hang down.

"I am being stripped of command of the _Normandy_, and will await trial in a city on Earth called Vancouver. I am going to turn myself in, and anyone staying with me will be considered an accessory to a," Shepard swallowed hard, "dangerous criminal. So you all need to input where you would like to go and I'll try my best to get you there. Since we only have seventy two hours, we can't stop at a lot of places, but hopefully you'll be dropped off pretty close to your destination. If anyone needs creds to get somewhere, come talk to me," Shepard handed a data pad to the nearest crew member. "You can put your wanted location into this. Crew dismissed," Shepard tried to find Doctor Chakwas. When he spotted her, he waved her over.

"Oh Colt, I'm so sorry," Chakwas pulled him into a hug. "I'm still going to put you in for medical leave, though. The doctors still need to know that you require medical attention. I just can't believe that the Alliance would do this to you," Chakwas finally pulled out of the hug.

"I deserve it. I did kill three hundred thousand people, and no one is above the law," Shepard rubbed the top of his head.

"Shepard, it had to be done, this is war," Chakwas looked intently into his eyes.

"That's why I did it, but... still," Shepard was handed back the data pad with locations on it. It looked like their two drop off locations would be Illium and the Citadel.

"Alright Joker, let's go to the Citadel first," Shepard then proceeded to head for his commander cave, leaving his crew in the mess.

...

"Battle Master, I have never met someone so worthy of the enemies we have fought," Grunt carried almost nothing with him. The first stop was Illium in the sad quest of disbanding Shepard's crew. Everyone leaving for Illium was lined up, waiting to say goodbye to Shepard. He stood near the airlock so the process went faster.

"_Shepard is the best Battle Master a Krogan could ask for. I don't want to join some... some washed up Battle Master's clan," Grunt's words had warmed the cockles of Shepard's heart, and then he had pissed off the Krogans that were trying to kill them._

"Grunt, the same could be said of you," Grunt only grunted and hit Shepard hard on the back. His back cracked five times and he coughed loudly. Grunt did that deep chuckle and became the first member to leave the Normandy. Legion came after Grunt.

"Shepard-Commander, we wish to wish you luck in your trial," Legion had nothing with him.

"_No data available, that's what he said to me," Shepard was explaining the situation to Liara via vid comm. _

"_That means that he has a little crush on you," she said, winking at him. "Looks like I have some competition." _

"Thank you, Legion. Where are you going from Illium?" Shepard asked the Geth.

"I hope to get back with some other Geth. Goodbye Shepard-Commander," then Legion left the _Normandy_.

Next up was Mordin, "Suicide squad, not so suicidal. Thank you Shepard, for getting us through."

"_How was Rosebud?" Shepard had burst into Mordin's lab, excited to see his varren. _

"_Acting like she wasn't fed, so I fed her," Mordin stroked her head, while the spoiled varren lazily lounged in her bed by Mordin. _

"_That little devil, I already fed her today," Shepard shook his head at the little thing's contentedness. _

"_Good actor, fooled everyone," Mordin reached down again and petted her head._

"I'm going to give Rosebud to Liara to take care of. Still haven't changed your mind about caring for her?" Shepard asked.

"No, can't take her. Sorry. Liara excellent choice. Here are her bags," Mordin was carrying four bags and three were handed over to Shepard. "High maintaince thing," Mordin smiled, "Bye Shepard, we'll talk again." Then Mordin joined the increasing larger group leaving the _Normandy _for Illium.

Samara walked up to Shepard after Mordin. "Samara, good luck on Illium," she carried the smallest bag yet.

"_I've only seen a few people with as much raw biotic power as you, Shepard," Samara was doing a circle around him. _

_Shepard had to stop himself from saying ma'am ,"Thanks Samara." _

"_Having potential doesn't mean that you're good. Do the charge again," Samara stopped behind him, and was probably disappointed in everything. _

"Thank you, Commander. It has been a true honor working with you. Keep working on those biotics," with that Samara left the _Normandy. _

The last person to be dropped off was Zaeed,"So the big goddamn hero goes to jail. Sounds like something out of a soap opera," Zaeed carried several bags. A suspiciously long one probably held Jessie.

"_Are you going to listen to my story or are you going to continue to play with the trash compactor?" Zaeed's agitated voice stopped Shepard right before he was about to launch more trash into space. _

"_Sorry, Zaeed. Go ahead," Shepard reluctantly left his new favorite toy to join Zaeed. _

"_Good, so anyways, it was just me and Jessie…" Shepard kept eyeing the trash compactor throughout his story. _

"Ya , weird. My life has been like a space opera, so far," Shepard replied, before slapping off a salute ,and nodding at Zaeed as he went off the _Normandy_. He was the last one off at Illium.

…

"Goodbye Kelly, it was an honor," Shepard shook her hand, before being pulled into an enthusiastic hug. They were at the Citadel, and a little more than half the crew was getting off here. Like Illium's drop off, everyone was lined up.

_"Shepard, I see that you raise fish. Would you like me to feed them when you're away?" Kelly Chambers asked Shepard, who was standing at the Galaxy Map. He was trying decide where to go. _

_"Thanks Kelly, that would be great. Be careful though, if you don't feed them twice a day, everyday, they will all die," Shepard shivered at the memory of his fish floating on the surface of the tank. _

"Bye Shepard," Kelly nodded and headed down the ramp towards the Citadel with a bag slung over her shoulder.

"Thane, I hope the Citadel is what you need. Is Kolyat here?" Shepard shook his hand.

"_You're the only friend I've had in ten years," Thane sat at his table in Life Support, looking thoughtfully over Shepard._

"_Thane...You're a good friend too. I hope everything is going well with Kolyat," Shepard rubbed the top of his head nervously. _

"Yes, he's here. I hope to spend more time with him, and I hope you get out of jail soon, my friend. Goodbye," Thane nodded and followed Kelly out of the Normandy.

Jack came after Thane, "Why did I always know that you were going to get arrested?" The gleam in her eyes was full of fight.

"_It's so weird. Finding out I have a friend," Jack wouldn't look at Shepard. Not even a glance. "Finding out that there's someone who doesn't just want to use me," Her eyes were firmly glued to her hands. _

"_And don't forget it. I'm here for all my friends. You need something, you find me," Shepard then left Jack's secluded area._

"Probably because you realized that they only throw handsome people in jail," Shepard grinned down at Jack.

"A cocky asshole, as always," Jack said back. "Take care of yourself, Shepard," Jack walked out of the Normandy, she glanced back several times.

"Miranda, you were a great XO. Thank you for doing all my paperwork, also the Illusive Man thanks you," she was carrying a TON of bags.

"_So do you like your steak?" Miranda asked, while they were sitting in a very nice restaurant having dinner. _

"_Oh it's delicious. How about your food?" Shepard took a bite of his steak. When he looked up he found her staring at him very oddly. "Is there a problem?" Shepard desperately wiped his face. _

"_No, just thinking," she said with a smile, and returned to her food. _

"Goodbye Shepard. You have to be the best commanding officer I've ever worked with," then Miranda pecked him on the cheek and followed a quickly disappearing Jack.

"Keelah' Shepard. I'm going to miss you so much," Tali's voice sounded like she was crying. Out of everyone so far, she had the most reasonable looking bag.

"_Shepard, you and Liara are sooo cute together," Tali and Shepard were eating in the Mess together. _

"_Thanks, Tali. But you know who you'd be really great with?" Shepard had eaten with Tali often since she had come aboard. They just happened to eat at the same time, and so they started to eat together. Their strong friendship had only benefited. _

"_Who?" She asked, putting down her food excitedly. _

"_Garrus. You two would be awesome together. You could go on dates and eat the same food," Shepard would tell Garrus something similar. His two closest friends deserved someone special. _

"I'll miss you too, Tali. Life won't be the same without meals with you," Shepard patted her shoulder.

"Don't remind me about missing that. Bye Shepard," she was definitely crying now. Before he could say anything else; however, she was out of the airlock.

"So Shepard, this is where we part, huh?" Garrus was the last one to get off at the Citadel.

"Ya, guess so. I got you something," Shepard handed him a wrapped present. Garrus then proceeded to rip open the box and reveal a picture frame. One side had a good picture of Garrus looking dramatic, and the other side had a chicken that had an uncanny resemblance to Garrus, striking a similar pose.

"You're going to jail, and you might never get to see your best friend again, and as a parting present you give him a comparison picture?" Garrus stared at the picture for a few more seconds. "It's awesome, where did you get this amazing picture of me?" He then carefully placed it into his bag.

"I have my ways... so I guess goodbye," Shepard pulled Garrus into a one handed hug that lasted a fraction of a second. Garrus then picked up his stuff, nodded at Shepard, and left.

...

"Hey, Colt. Are you okay?" Liara turned to find Shepard walking up the stairs to her.

"The same since we talked after last mission," he was now standing in front of her. She took his hands and started playing with them.

"You look upset," she wouldn't be that easily avoided.

Shepard sighed and looked away, a scary sign, "I'm being arrested Liara. I'm sorry I didn't tell you over that last vid call, it was too... hard."

"Who's arresting you?" Liara stopped her hands.

"The Alliance, for genocide, and working with a known terrorist organization," Shepard took back one of his hands and ran it over the top of his head.

"Colt..." Liara was too shocked to say anything else. This development was horrible.

"After this, I leave for Arcturus Station," he sighed again.

"Shepard, we can fight this. Let's start," Liara pulled her hands away and started turning towards her console. Before she could get there, Shepard had caught her arm.

"I don't wanna fight this. I deserve it, I am guilty of both charges," when Liara turned back to face him, he wouldn't look at her.

"It had to be done. The Reapers-" Liara was cut off.

"That's what everyone keeps telling me. Ask those Batarians if they think I had to kill them, or anybody else I've affected with stupid decisions," Shepard was on a roll of self doubt.

"You. Had. To. That's all there is to it. Nothing else to consider. The Reapers arriving would've killed billions, not three hundred thousand," Liara could see that it wasn't getting through to him; he was going to go let himself get arrested. She pulled him into a desperate hug, hoping it would convey the emotions that words didn't have. They stayed like that for a long time until Shepard pulled away.

"Can you take my pets?" Shepard looked up for the first time.

"Of course," Liara smiled when she saw how much Shepard had perked up.

One hour later everything had been brought in for Shepard's pet. Rosebud had an unbelievable amount of bags. The hamster, Boo, had more stuff than she did. The fish also had boxes with supplies. After Shepard had brought everything needed for his animals, he handed Liara three large pieces of paper with instructions on them.

"So, remember the fish need to be talked to every time you feed them. I read on the extranet that it helps them digest food. If you're gonna buy Rosebud something, make sure it's pink. That's the color that goes best with her pelt color," Shepard would've continued but Liara silenced him with a kiss.

"Don't worry, I'll take good care of them all," she whispered after they had broken from the kiss, needing oxygen.

"Alright, I'll get Rosebud," Shepard left her ship. The hamster and the fish had already been brought in. A moment later, a varren next to Shepard came through the door. Rosebud had on a pink jacket, with a pink collar, and a pink leash. "Sometimes she gets cold. So if she starts to shiver, put her coat on," Shepard had opened one of the bags and took out a bed that he laid next to Liara.

Colt kneeled next to Rosebud and looked her straight in the eye. "You be good now, Mama's gonna take care of you while I'm gone. Be good for her, she has a lot on her plate without you causing trouble," when Shepard finished, Rosebud licked his whole face. He stood up and led her over to Liara.

"Hi Rosebud, I'm gonna take care of you while Sheps away, okay?" Rosebud's response was to lick Liara's hand and then lay in her bed. Shepard looked at her for a little and then turned his attention back to Liara.

"I'm gonna miss both of you, _so_ much," Shepard wrapped Liara in a huge hug. Liara breathed in his intoxicating scent. Shepard buried his face into her neck. "Visit me, okay? Although I would understand if you didn't. It's not exactly dignified telling someone you're going to visit your boyfriend in jail...I guess I should go now," he said after a much too short time period. Then like that Commander Colt Shepard went off to jail.

...

"Shepard, you're looking good," Joker whistled at Shepard when he heard footsteps behind him, and took in his whole appearance. Shepard wore his full military uniform. He wore the traditional officer's hat with a gold Alliance symbol on it. The Star of Terra hung around his neck, the ribbon it was attached to was concealed by his collar. Other medals and bars of color were attached on his right side. The N7 logo was also sewn on the right side. His shoulders had a stiff padding on the outside that all Alliance uniforms had with gold thread as the border. Black material was tight against his sides, with gold highlighting the borders. A gold chain connected his right and left side, and the jacket's opening was more left than centered. On his right hip he carried a sword. The scabbard was simply blue with a gold ending.

"Enjoy it Joker. This is probably the only time you'll ever see me in full uniform. I've never worn The Star of Terra or my sword before. That's how rare this is," Shepard replied, adjusting his sword slightly.

"I am enjoying it, but probably not as much as Liara would. Let me take a picture and send it to her," Joker started to mess with his omni-tool. "Ready?" He asked aiming his omni-tool at Shepard.

"Yep," Shepard's back was straight as a board and he saluted the camera. "Good?"

"Oh yes. Didn't want to miss the opportunity," Joker turned back around in his seat.

"We have arrived at Arcturus Station. Alliance police are requesting permission to come aboard," EDI's voice echoed through the empty ship. The only people left were EDI, Doctor Chakwas, Ken, Gabby, and Joker.

"Permission granted," Shepard waited near the airlock for them. Minutes later the door slid open to reveal Alliance MPs.

"Commander Shepard?" One of them asked.

"Yes, sir," Shepard replied straightening out his uniform.

"You're under arrest. Please turn around," a different MP walked up with handcuffs. Shepard turned around and felt the handcuffs tighten. They led him off the _Normandy _and immediately Shepard was met with the blinding flashes from cameras.


	41. Been Down So Long

**Chapter Thirty Nine: Been Down So Long, Forgot What the World Looks Like**

Shepard's jail 'cell' wasn't in the same ballpark as most cells. It was basically a nice apartment that locked on the outside. He was allowed to go to the gym, but besides that he was kept in the apartment. He was on an Alliance base with a few other high-priority prisoners. Everyday Shepard was allowed to get the paper, and he was still occasionally on the front page. There was nothing in jail to do, but wait and remember. So that's exactly what Shepard did.

"Shepard, why'd you call us here?" The entire ground crew, Doctor Chakwas, and a few other nonessential members were gathered in the _Normandy's _lounge. Shepard had called everyone there, but didn't name a reason.

"Every Tuesday and Thursday is crew bonding. Welcome to the first of many fun nights," Shepard was facing the crewand smiled when a collective sigh made its way through the ranks of them. "I know it sounds like torture but we'll be doing fun stuff. For example, we are going to watch the latest Turian scary movie, _Talons_," Shepard smiled evilly and prepped the movie. Someone was popping popcorn, and the smell wafted through the room. When he turned back around, everyone was sitting on two large couches. There were pretty large spaces between everyone, but that would change as the terror was cranked up.

A half an hour into the movie, everyone was squished together. Shepard sat in the middle, and was being crushed by Tali on one side, and Grunt on the other. At scary parts both would grip his arms like he was the only thing holding them to the world. When Shepard glanced over, Garrus was completely alone. Probably because the movie was about a serial killer Turian.

Towards the end of the movie, almost everyone was shamelessly yelling at the movie. The ever oblivious cop was heading right into the talons of the killer, and the _Normandy _crew seemed to take it upon themselves to warn him. The ending was terrifying and mysterious, leaving everyone speechless for a couple minutes.

"So I hope everyone is up for Thursday's event," Shepard stood up after the movie and looked at his shell-shocked crew. "Have a good night," Shepard said in the best creepy voice he could muster, and left for his cabin.

This was one of his favorite memories aboard the SR-1, but the good was often marred by the bad.

"Jacob is dead, Miranda. He didn't disappear magically, he isn't hiding away somewhere. I killed him, and he isn't coming back. I'm sorry," Shepard stood in front of Miranda in her XO office. After he had been checked out of the med-bay. A couple people had told him that she was taking Jacob's death especially hard. When he had found her she was still in the denial stage. The XO of the _Normandy _couldn't be in denial. No matter how unfair it all was, she didn't get the luxury of being non-functional.

"I just keep thinking that he'll be up in the armory, and I can visit whenever I want. Then I remember," Miranda wasn't crying, Shepard didn't think she ever did, but this was close.

"It's okay to hate me. Truly it is, as long as I have your loyalty and respect. As long as you understand that I didn't have a choice. He attacked me, and was going to kill me. He was beyond compromise," Shepard had to keep himself from shuddering at the memory of liquefying his subordinate.

"Do you really think he was beyond compromise?" Miranda was studying him closely.

"Yes. Even if I had gotten him to stop, it would still be there. That idea that we couldn't get anything done due to lack of funding. It would've lurked in his mind, hell it would've lurked in my mind. He would've probably tried it again. Sad as this is, he chose his own fate," Shepard stood his ground to Miranda's scrutiny. Whether she consciously knew it or not, she was looking for weakness.

"You're right. What could've made him do it?" Miranda's relentless gaze continued to burn into Shepard's soul.

"His reasoning is noble, in a way. He wanted to do more stuff, help more people, save the galaxy twenty times over, but I was in his way. I stopped funding from Cerberus, rightly or wrongly, and he understood that there isn't much we can do without money. He understood that we were in limbo. Stuck between the Alliance's funds, and Cerberus' funds. If he could've gotten rid of me, you could've reconnected with the Illusive Man, gotten more money, and saved more people. His understanding of the situation isn't flawed, because that's where we are, right now," Shepard understood, respected even, Jacob's reasoning for wanting him dead. It wasn't personal.

"Makes sense, I guess. In the sort of horrible way that ruthless calculus makes sense," Miranda's eyes were clear now, no mist swirled in her irises. So Shepard started to leave, his work done, but Miranda called out again, "And for the record, I could never hate you,"

Thinking back on that particularly sad conversation, Shepard realized that it was still laced with good things.

"Hey Commander!" Lieutenant James Vega poked his head in Shepard's room. He called himself Shepard's bodyguard, but was really his prison guard. The Krogan-esque man was the biggest human Shepard had ever seen. Shepard was not a small person by any means of measurement. He was six foot and two hundred ten pounds, but James made him seem tiny. James was as wide as he was tall with muscle. Vega would've made Grunt jealous.

"Hey Lieutenant," Shepard sat up from lazily being sprawled across his bed. "What's up?"

"Just wanted to see if you want to play some cards," Vega smiled and held up a deck of cards. Shepard liked him. He kept Shepard company, was fun, and laughed at Shepard's jokes (which is one of the most important characteristics a person can have).

"Sure, I'm in the mood to kick someone's ass in a game," Shepard walked towards his kitchen table and got it ready. "You deal," he said, while settling down.

"So I got some information regarding your trial. Apparently it's been postponed again," James finished dealing before he spoke.

"Yah, no surprise there," Shepard's cards were abysmal.

"So you expected things to go so slow?" James looked up from his cards.

"Pretty much, I'll probably be in here till I'm a hundred and thirty. Playing cards with you, lying around all day, and eating whenever I want," Shepard was getting way too lazy for his liking.

"Suena bien, señor. I wish I could do that," Vega turned out to be good at Skyllian Five and won the first hand.

"You can, just get accused of a crime, and wallah," Shepard gestured to his apartment cell thing.

"Something tells me that anyone, but you, would go to actual jail. If I was accused of something, BAM! In the worst jail this side of Omega," James gave nothing away in his face, if he had a tell Shepard hadn't found it.

"That's probably true. I'm definitely not mad about my position, but it is frustrating. I should be fighting, and saving people. Not wasting away in Hell disguised as Heaven," Shepard lost again, and was done with poker. "Well I think I'm going to bed," the less Shepard did, the more tired he was.

"Alright, adios," James picked up his cards, and headed towards the door.

"One more thing. How long have I been in here?" Shepard didn't know the date. The days had blended together.

"Three months," James said, and then left. There was nothing to do in his prison, but remember and wait. So that's exactly what Shepard did.


	42. Linked

**Chapter Forty: Linked**

Something strange was happening to Liara. Something was different in her mind. She had noticed something stirring in her mind months ago, but had been too busy to pay any heed to it. Now it was too great to ignore. The feeling was in the back of her skull, and it wasn't part of her. It was something separate from herself. As the days went by, the feeling became more distinct.

Liara realized that a swirl of emotions found their home at the base of her skull. The presence wasn't unwelcome to her. In fact she enjoyed the comfort it brought to her. It was always there, but easily pushed out of the way if need be. It was like a good friend staying over at your house, there but not intruding, as opposed to an unannounced family member.

Over time the emotions became clearer. It was a mix of boredom, feeling useless, and guilt. They weren't strong, though. Liara couldn't even be sure that those were the true emotions. For a couple months she just simply let the presence exist, but then she started to worry about indoctrination. Is this how it started? Comforting, and non-intrusive? She had to know.

One day she let Feron take control of the Broker network, and let herself do some research. The first thing she looked up was indoctrination, and all the awful things that went with it. However, nothing about it was calming, or welcoming. The process wasn't even noticed until it was too late, and she wasn't experiencing key parts to it. She never heard voices (thank Goddess), she didn't dream of or see oily shadows, and she didn't suffer from mind-tearing headaches. Nothing about her symptoms seemed like indoctrination.

The next thing she looked up was asari brain disorders. The one that kept popping up was the Ardat- Yakshi condition, but she knew she wasn't one. After all, she hadn't brain hemorrhaged Shepard. One condition had the unfortunate name of 'Juice Brains.' Another condition that kept popping up was nicknamed the Lover's Link. She didn't think she had that condition, but it looked interesting.

The symptoms included a comforting foreign presence in the back of the mind, described in a way that Liara herself would use to explain what she was feeling. The website she was on said that it happened when an asari melded with someone who had the capability to make up a half of a whole. It was a pretty rare condition that only happened to the closest of people or ones with capability to be close to each other, and took years to manifest. It could only happen between an asari and her soul mate. It could only happen, though, if the two subjects had melded. The closer the people were physically and mentally to each other, the stronger the feeling.

It made sense to Liara and Shepard's relationship that the Lover's Link took a long time to manifest. They hadn't seen each other in months, giving it enough time for it to exist. It also made sense that the foreign feelings in her mind weren't very strong; the distance between the two was huge. They had melded before. Everything described on the site seemed to match her symptoms, and the relationship she had with Shepard.

Liara smiled at this new piece of news. Knowing that Shepard was always with her was a comfort as was the fact that it was a rare condition reserved only for people who were complimentary to the other's soul. In the past years they hadn't had enough time to become very close, but this link meant that the potential was there. Looking back on their relationship, Liara realized that not a lot had happened between them. No words or actions had made them close. They just simply were. That vital spark in all relationships had been there the first time Liara had laid her eyes on Shepard. It was like both of their souls had just gone 'There you are.'

...

"Any visitors today?" Shepard looked at Lieutenant James Vega hopefully. During his whole time in Alliance prison, only Joker had visited. In fact he visited often, at least twice a week. He was the only one though, no Liara or his Mom.

"Sorry, not today," Vega sounded as disappointed as Shepard felt. He was probably getting tired of babysitting Shepard, or maybe he was just really empathetic.

"Should've figured. On a different note, I think you should ask out that asari," Shepard smiled at the shocked face of his guard. Everyday on the way to the gym they passed an asari, and James couldn't keep his eyes off her. If he were going to escape, that would be the perfect opportunity, since James wouldn't notice anything else but blue.

"Uh, Treeya? Ya she's not going to be here long. The Alliance is allowing her to stay while she heals, but then she's going back to archaeology," Vega scratched the back of his neck. This Treeya person sounded suspiciously similar to another asari Shepard knew. "I don't think she would like me asking her out," Vega wouldn't meet his eyes. Shepard knew that tone of voice meant something tragic had happened. He felt bad when Vega left quickly after that.

Shepard didn't read too much into his guard, though. He had enough to worry about. His mind wasn't his own. He didn't think it was indoctrination, though. That was an awful process, while this foreign thing in his mind comforted him. It was calming, and the perfect ice for his fiery soul. His typical high-strung nature had mellowed some since he first noticed this. For the first time in a long time, he felt peaceful. So he let the soothing thing in, and felt solace in its presence. If this was indoctrination, he didn't care, it was too nice to fight. It was a constant, but it wasn't forcing itself to be noticed.

Shepard didn't do anything about it for months. He felt no need. Plus he didn't have extranet service, and he couldn't tip off the Alliance that he might be going crazy. It didn't feel like he was going crazy, but maybe that's what crazy people felt like. So it was hard to know, but no part of him wanted to fight it, so it continued to coexist with him.

One day, a little after three months in jail, he had the strangest feeling of danger. He couldn't sit still, and James seemed to notice too. Every quick movement sent Shepard into fight or flight mode. He could not relax, despite no immediate danger. He almost asked for his armor- it was that bad. Shepard could tell that it was connected to the part that wasn't himself. After hours it finally went away, and left Shepard with the feeling that it had something to do with Liara.

…

**Author's Note: Why did this chapter take so long to write? If you guessed writer's block you would be correct. This was so difficult for me to get through that I have already written the chapter after this one. So the bad news is the long wait, but the good news is that I will post again tomorrow. **


	43. Leaving Earth

**Chapter Forty One: Leaving Earth**

There was a little kid just below Shepard. His apartment was three stories up, and the courtyard was just below it. A little boy was in it playing with a model of an Alliance ship. The ship made Shepard homesick; his prized collection of model ships left behind on the Normandy. It was weird how Shepard had been in this apartment for nearly six months now, and it still felt foreign.

The kid made the ship dive, spin, and fly upside down, which only served to bring memories of Mako driving adventures to Shepard's mind. Memories of awkward Liara soon followed. The memory of her restarting her sentence three times was interrupted by a knock on his door. "Come in," he called out.

James walked in, his usual casual manner of moving had changed into an excited walk. Shepard tore his eyes away from the heart-warming scene of the child and faced towards James. "Commander, Admiral Anderson is here. He's going to take you off my hands. Something's happening, Commander. Something big," Vega eyes flashed with excitement.

"I'm not a Commander anymore. I am just simply Colt," Shepard turned back towards the courtyard, but the little boy was gone.

"Yah, whatever Commander. Come on, Anderson is waiting," James led Shepard from his apartment. As soon as he stepped outside, the change in atmosphere was apparent. The air was alive with fear, and excitement.

"Shepard, long time, no see," Anderson greeted Shepard with a hearty handshake. Before Shepard left with Anderson, James nodded at Shepard, and left. "Something big is going down, something bad. The Defense Committee wishes to speak to you," the whole time Anderson spoke, people rushed about them. Completely ignoring the Admiral, and the disgraced Commander. Not one person saluted them.

"It's the Reapers, isn't it?" Shepard couldn't think of anything else that would cause such activity.

"Let's hope not, for all our sakes," Anderson's voice was dark, before turning hopeful again," looks like you've been enjoying imprisonment." Anderson's face pulled into a smirk while gesturing towards Shepard's stomach.

"Well, I figured I might as well enjoy my stay. Gained a few pounds, but hey, why the hell not?" While it was true that Shepard had eaten a lot, and gained weight, he had actually gained it in mostly muscle. There was simply not a lot to do in prison, so hours each day for months had been spent at the gym.

"Like the food better than the Normandy's?" Anderson asked; they were steps from a huge door.

"Sir, Ryncol mixed with the tears of a baby Varren is better than the Normandy's food," Shepard smiled at his own joke, before turning into a scowl at the people that lay before them. Through the large doors, the Defense Committee waited.

"Shepard, let's cut to the chase. You're the person who has had the most experience with the Reapers. We have called you here to get your professional opinion on the situation unfolding before us. Colonies in the Terminus and even some in Citadel space have gone dark. Several distress beacons were sent, but no specifics were mentioned," the man talking to Shepard stopped when an assistant spoke to him. "I have just received word that Luna Base has also gone dark," those words froze Shepard. If the moon was already reached, the Reapers would be on Earth in minutes.

"The Reapers are here. This is it. The thing I've warned you about for years is here. Send out an evacuation notice for this building, _right now!_ The Reapers will target a large military building such as this. Everyone out," Shepard yelled through the large room. No one moved.

"Shepard we have time. Do you think this is the Reapers?" The same man asked.

"This is the Reapers, and with all due respect, we don't have time. Get out of here, while you still can. This will be a target. We are all in danger. Do what you must to warn everyone, but hurry," the horror of his words sunk into the room. Someone started contacting what were probably admirals. Shepard thought he heard his name mentioned.

"Alright, Shepard," the man who had spoken to him earlier turned to an Ensign, "evacuate the building." As soon as he spoke, a Reaper dropped into view through the window behind the committee.

"Everyone get out!" Shepard yelled. Alarms for evacuation started going off. The Reaper turned its main weapon towards the building they were in. Shepard watched the entire Defense Committee, and all of their assistants, be enveloped in a storm of red before jumping for safety himself. His world turned black.

"Get up, Shepard," a voice pulled him from his dark world. He groaned when he felt rubble on him. As his vision cleared he saw Anderson digging him out. He pushed off a piece of the ceiling, and stood. The demolished room was a mass grave of skeletons twisted in gruesome ways. For the millionth time Shepard cursed the universe for ignoring his warnings. "I'm in contact with contact with Lieutenant Commander Williams and Lieutenant Vega. They're heading towards the Normandy. We need to rendezvous with them. Come on!" Anderson shoved a gun in Shepard's hands and started dashing out of the ruined defense room.

They wound their way through twisted metal, and papers. The whole building had absolutely no activity, a sharp contrast to what it was before. They stopped to catch their breath in a room where the windows had blown out. Shepard looked out the window to see a Reaper decimating a nearby section of the base housing. He turned to leave, but not before movement caught his eye. Something was moving around in the vents.

Shepard dropped to his hands and knees and looked inside a child-sized vent. Inside was the same boy that had been playing with the toy ship. At a closer look Shepard realized that he looked startling like his brother, Alex. "Come with me, I'll save you," Shepard reached out his hand desperately.

"I can't," the little boy said. A strange noise distracted Shepard for a fraction of a second, making him turn his head. When he turned back to the boy, he was gone. How did the kid get away that fast?

"Shepard, this way," Anderson poked his head into the room. He didn't seem to notice the kid. Colt couldn't wait around for the kid to come back, so he followed Anderson. His fear of heights was flared when the ground underneath him gave way. He clung on to a thin piece of metal before Anderson pulled him up. The drop down was at least thirty feet. He shivered at the thought.

Anderson and Shepard continued their journey through war-torn Vancouver. Everything was very much the same with husks thrown in the mix. The only memorable thing that happened was almost being hit by a Reaper beam while on a ledge. Besides that it was just lots of urban fighting, something Shepard hadn't done in a long time.

They made it to the rendezvous point on sheer luck, but found that their lucky charm had ran out of juice as soon they realized that their meeting place had no _Normandy, _and lots of enemies. The ensuing battle was brutal. Half way through, Shepard ran out of ammo, and had to rely on biotics. Normally that wouldn't be a problem but two things made it so much worse. One the battle was long, exhausting Shepard, and two he hadn't practiced biotics in six months. The Alliance base didn't have the facilities necessary for safely doing biotic attacks. They made it through, but just barely.

Shepard could honestly say that he had never been so glad to see the _Normandy. _When the ramp went down, he leaped onto it, and turned to help Anderson up. James stood on his left while Ashley stood on his right.

"I'm staying. The Earth resistance needs me," Shepard's ears must have still been ringing from the explosion, because there was no way Anderson wanted to stay.

"What?!" Shepard shouted back, still extending his arm.

"I'm staying. Earth needs me," there was no mistaking his words.

"Then I'm staying too. Earth could use us both," Shepard started towards the edge of the ramp.

"No, you need to rally support from our allies. Go to the Citadel and try to get support from the Council on Earth's behalf. You'll bring the fame that will put on pressure for support. Admiral Anderson asking for support? No one cares. Commander Shepard asking for support? Outrage if you're ignored. Everyone knows you, fame will be your best friend," Anderson glanced up, probably nervous about the Reapers noticing.

"I'm not in the Alliance anymore. I don't take orders from you," Shepard stepped towards the edge again.

"Consider yourself reinstated. Welcome back, Commander," Anderson smiled, threw Shepard's dog tags at him and then started running back into the war zone. He was out of sight in seconds behind a piece of sheet metal. Shepard stared at his dog tags for a long time.

"So someone just told me that Commander Shepard is on board. Are they right or are they stupid?" Joker's voice came over the intercom.

"Seems like they're correct Mr. Moreau," Shepard changed his voice while saying Mr. Moreau. His EDI voice may have needed some work.

"Commander, my voice does not sound anything like that," EDI said.

"Yah, yah. Good to be back," Shepard surveyed the cargo bay.

"Good to have you back, Commander," Joker said. A half a second later his omni-tool went off.

"Commander Shepard, congratulations on your reinstatement. Listen, instead of going to the Citadel, go to the Mars base first. An old friend is there with information on a potential weapon to kill the Reapers. Hackett out," Shepard never spoke once during the conversation. He wanted to go to the Citadel to regroup, but orders were orders.

"Joker, head for the Mars Archives," Shepard opened a nearby armor locker. He left his N7 armor back in Vancouver. The armor that hung there was bulky, and the standard Alliance combat wear that Shepard despised. There was nothing else, however. Shepard could tell this would be a long war.


	44. Reunion

**Chapter Forty Two: Reunion**

Shepard took a long time to process traumatic events. Maybe it was the same for everyone, but he felt that he took especially long. Maybe that's what made him a good soldier. The ability to push back horrible memories was a gift, and one he used well. He didn't become one of the best soldiers the galaxy had ever seen by letting corrupted memories in. Down the road this would probably hurt him; repressing things usually made them worse.

Hours earlier, when he and Anderson had made their way to the _Normandy,_ he had seen a child die in a shuttle. It wasn't just any child, either. It was the one who had played in the clearing below his cell, the one he had found in the vents, the one who had rejected his offer of help, and the one that looked horribly like Alex. Only now was the horror of his death hitting Shepard. He had seen the kid climb in, and watched the shuttle explode into a million pieces without actually seeing it. His mind didn't process the magnitude of that discovery, until now.

Ashley's constant questions regarding his loyalty to Cerberus were wearing thin on Shepard, and suddenly the memory of watching the kid die surfaced to the top of his mind. Her droning had been cancelled out by memories he had long repressed. The more he tried to deny the painful memories, the more they returned. He was in an awful position at the moment. He was on a crucial mission while the onslaught of memories raced through his mind. Any moments of peace between firefights were interrupted by memories of Alex. Colt was in a vulnerable position, a place most devastating to any soldier.

Shepard could count on one hand how many times he was distracted during a mission. You were either not distracted, or dead. Hopefully this Mars mission would end soon.

The ride on a lift was particularly annoying. Shepard could tell that Ashley didn't trust him. She kept asking him if he knew anything about this attack, and he had to keep explaining that he was in jail for six months with absolutely no contact with almost everyone. Vega backed him up with that one. When they were off the lift, Shepard even had to ask Ashley to trust him. That's how much their friendship had deteriorated.

Movement could be heard in the large cargo room they stood in. Shouting and gunshots made them run to a section of the room near huge windows. James was the first one to charge into that section, Shepard was close behind. A second later Colt brought his gun down, and relaxed. The only occupants were a familiar blue figure, and a certain Varren. Liara was finishing off a couple Cerberus troops that were trapped in her singularity. Rosebud had pinned another down, keeping him there until Liara had the chance to shoot him.

Vega continued forward with his gun raised, but Shepard forcefully lowered it, "Easy, they're friends." As ungracefully as possible, Shepard tore of his helmet in excitement. His eyes never left Liara. Shepard's mind tingled with emotions not his own. They were worried, and concentrating on something. He knew she hadn't noticed them.

"It seems like I've stumbled onto my favorite archaeologist, and my favorite Varren," Shepard smiled while speaking. Liara jumped a little before turning. Weirdly, Shepard could feel her surprise.

"And if it isn't my favorite Spectre," Shepard reached Liara at the end of her sentence. He hugged her tightly. Armor ruined the effect, especially the bulky armor that Shepard loathed. After a much too short embrace, Colt kneeled down to pet Rosebud.

"Did you miss me, girl?" Shepard scratched his Varren's ears. Her response to his question was an enormous lick across his whole face. He stood back up after that, and tried to retain his dignity.

"I can't believe you're here. How'd you get out of prison?" Liara was playing with his hands, and looking shyly at the ground. Her awkward archaeologist persona revealing itself.

"That is a story I'll tell you later. It's pretty long. Hackett told me that I'd find a friend here, but I had no idea it would be you. So why are you here?" Shepard rubbed his gloved hand over Liara's knuckles.

Liara dropped his hands, and looked outside the large windows. "Hackett got a hold of me, and asked me to use my resources as Shadow broker to find a way to stop the Reapers. The Alpha Relay incident bought us some much needed time, to find a way to stop them," Shepard knew she was trying to make him feel better about the incident. "Luckily, I did find a weapon, in the Prothean archives," Liara pointed out the windows towards another building. "We need to get to the archives using the tram, but Cerberus may have cut the power to the tram. They want the schematics for the weapon."

Ashley spoke up, "Anything that's powerful enough to defeat the Reapers is something Cerberus will want to get their dirty hands on," Ashley glanced at Shepard, suspicion flashing through her eyes. Shepard had to stop himself from calling her by her nickname, Assley.

Liara looked between the two before continuing, "Exactly." Liara paused before continuing, her voice was tight," I heard about Earth, Shepard. I am so sorry." Liara paused again. "I was so worried," Liara choked up a little. "Shepard, I'm really sorry I didn't visit you in jail," she wouldn't look him in the eye.

"It's okay, really it is. You were busy, and who would want to explain they were going to visit someone in jail?" Shepard tried really hard not to sound bitter, but it was difficult since he still felt hurt.

Colt could tell Liara had picked up that he was upset she hadn't visited. "Shepard..." she started.

"It's fine," Shepard turned towards James. "Get back to the shuttle. We need someone ready to get us," Shepard knew he was grumpy, he didn't care though, he deserved to be in a bad mood every once in awhile.

"Are you serious?" Vega stared at him incredulously. Shepard was getting angrier by the minute.

"Do you think I just want to hear my own voice. Of course I'm serious, now get your ass to the shuttle, Lieutenant," Shepard growled. Vega didn't argue anymore, and headed off.

Shepard shoved his helmet on, and started looking for a way out of the room. Liara and Ashley trailed him wordlessly, while Rosebud trotted by his side.

...

Cerberus had indeed tampered with the tram. Liara couldn't pull up a live feed of the tram controls, but old footage showed a doctor named Eva Core. Then Liara was able to open a door leading to the roof. When Shepard saw the breathing mask that Liara had for Rosebud, he nearly died of cuteness. She quite happily wore it while they were in un-oxygenated areas. This put Shepard in a decidedly better mood, but he was still annoyed.

Searching a creepy, darkened room full of dead scientists was also a real joy killer. Especially when he saw how they had died trying to claw their way out. This was harsh, even by Cerberus' standards. Shepard wanted to leave Mars as fast as possible, so when Cerberus troopers were revealed on the other side of glass, he took them out swiftly. Anger made him better.

On the other side of the glass they were able to re-pressurize the room, and find a recording of what happened. Eva Core had killed the security team attached to the scientists who had died due to lack of oxygen, and then she had vented the room. This allowed Cerberus to get in. Liara audibly gasped when they saw who the culprit was.

She turned away, and leaned heavily on a nearby desk, "I should've known. I could've saved all these people, but I was just too focused on the super weapon."

Shepard put his hand on her shoulder. "It's a damn good thing you were focused, or we'd have never found this super weapon. The whole galaxy would've been doomed if not for you. Besides how would've you known about Eva Core? She is trained to fit in, I probably wouldn't have found anything strange about her."

"You're right, of course. But what if all this time was for nothing. These could be our last days, and we spend them scurrying around trying to fix something that we can't. What if we spend our last days on something that doesn't work, instead of spending them with someone we care about," Liara's bright blue eyes seemed to burn into Shepard.

"We are going to _win _this war. No matter what, victory is waiting for us," Shepard couldn't explain the feeling he got, but he knew they would prevail. He could tell that Liara believed him, or at least she knew he believed every word he said.

"How do you keep going?" Liara asked.

"I think of everything that will be lost if I don't succeed. The people, my friends, and especially you," Shepard would've felt uncomfortable saying all of this in front of Ashley but she was patrolling around out of earshot. He put a hand on her shoulder.

"Really?" Liara asked this question like she didn't have him wrapped around her thumb.

"Really," he replied, giving her shoulder a squeeze and Rosebud a pat. Then he continued to another door, where more Guardians waited for them.

...

During the rather dangerous trip through Cerberus troops, a very deadly turret, Shepard learned a few things. One, his biotics were a lot less powerful than they should've been. Two, Rosebud could kick ass and take names. She would lunge out of cover, grab a hold of a Guardian, and wait for someone to shoot her victim. The final thing he learned was that Cerberus enjoyed grenades. None of them were powerful enough to bring his shields down, but he was sent flying if they went off near him.

They cleared an entire room of Cerberus, but found that they were locked out of the tram. Ashley actually came up with a good idea about how to get around that, which only put Shepard back into a bad mood. He didn't want to see or hear Ashley for the rest of the day. She made it worse by telling him how he could've been turned into a mindless husk by Cerberus. Who the hell tells their Commanding Officer that?

"You were a great leader once. I practically worshipped you. Now… I don't know," Assley said. Shepard was seriously considering court marshaling her for this insubordination.

"Lieutenant Commander," he made his voice cutting.

"I'm sorry, I just need time to work this out," she turned away from him, and managed to look apologetic.

"That's fantastic, take all the time you need Lieutenant. It's not like the end of the world is here, and we have only so much time. My suggestion is that you pull your goddamn head out of your ass, and keep your insubordination to yourself. I have no idea if you've forgotten what the military is like, but last time I checked questioning a senior officer about their loyalty at every chance you get is something that is frowned upon. Keep it up, and I'll write you up. Is this understood?" Shepard could feel his halo shrinking at every word. A part of him was convinced that he should've saved Kaiden.

"Yes, Commander," she said the title like it was fake. Liara had come in the room during his rant, and stared unbelievingly at the two. Shepard was _so _done with Mars. He was actually glad when Cerberus tried to kill them again - anything to get away from talking.

About an hour later they had made it to the location with the plans for the Reaper killing device. Shepard's day turned even peachyer when the Illusive Basterd showed up on a nearby hologram. There he was, still smoking his cigar. Shepard hoped he got lung cancer.

Shepard really tried to get the Illusive Man on their side. He spoke with all the diplomacy he could muster, but the Illusive Man wouldn't listen. He spoke about controlling the Reapers, and how Shepard's tiny little brain wouldn't be able to understand. He also told him how he was useless, and that his time was over. He sent Shepard a clear threat, and Colt couldn't help but feel that a great partnership had been ruined.

The data they desperately needed was being erased by someone nearby. Shepard started to look around desperately, until Eva Core came shooting out from behind some panels, Ashley in hot pursuit. Shepard would not leave without the super weapon schematics, so he charged after the Doctor.

...

Eva Core took off faster than any asari could go. Her speed was unbelievable, but the most shocking thing was how Shepard was able to keep up with her. At most, the distance between the two would be twenty feet, and that was rare. Liara and Ashley were left in the dust, and they weren't slow people. Rosebud was also successfully keeping up with the two until they came upon a ladder. Liara had to lift her up with her biotics, and then the Varren was off again.

Liara was still blown away by how fast Shepard was. She finally caught up to him when he stopped as Eva Core' shuttle took off. Colt screamed into his communicator for the _Normandy _or James to stop her. Seconds later a shuttle hurtled towards their location. Both Shepard and Liara jumped for cover as the Alliance shuttle hit the Cerberus shuttle. She heard James' excited yells as he drove the almost entirely intact Alliance shuttle around their location.

Pain shot through Liara's leg. On closer inspection she found that shards of shuttle were lodged in her leg. Before she could do anything Shepard appeared at her side, looking over her leg, then as gently as possible, he lifted her into his arms.

"Geez Liara, first mission and you're already getting hurt. The good news is that Rosebud is fine. She's right here. You're gonna be fine. We don't have a doctor yet, but I can patch you up," Liara would be lying if she said she didn't enjoy the closeness. She snuggled closer to Shepard.

An explosion made Shepard turn sharply; a very robotic looking Eva Core was running towards Ashley. Liara counted seven shots from Ashley into Eva. Unfortunately Ashley was losing, and was picked up by her helmet. Eva slammed her body into the nearby ruined shuttle; Ashley's body shuddered with each hit. Shepard put Liara down on her okay foot, and kept one of his arms on her shoulders to support her. Eva had dropped Ashley, and was running towards Shepard. He pulled out his pistol, and kept firing until Eva dropped.

"James, take her!" Shepard helped Liara over to James. Then he ran towards Ashley's still body. Shepard picked her up, and yelled at James to also take Eva's body. In that time the _Normandy _had landed, and Shepard was already aboard, and heading for the med bay. James helped Liara to the med bay, too. Shepard was standing over Ashley's body in the med bay, and he was as motionless as Ashley.

Liara limped over to him, "Shepard, Ashley needs immediate medical attention." Shepard just stared at her blankly. "Shepard! We need to go to the Citadel," Liara shook his shoulders, hoping to pull him from this.

"You're right. Joker, head for the Citadel," Shepard still looked shocked, but he was at least functioning now. "I need to patch you up, come here," Shepard started pulling the bits of shrapnel out of her leg. His hands were shaking badly.


	45. It Only Gets Worse

**Chapter Forty Three: It Only Gets Worse**

"Commander, Admiral Hackett wants to speak to you," Joker's voice interrupted the easy silence between Shepard and Liara. He was still putting on medi-gel after pulling out bits of shuttle from her leg. He seemed engrossed in the task, so Liara didn't say anything.

Shepard jerked his head up to the ceiling, and seemed confused for a second before his normal look returned. "Alright. I'm going, come on Liara. You know more about this super weapon then I do. Are you okay to walk on your own?" Shepard stood, and looked thoughtfully at her.

"I'll be fine," Liara stood and wobbled after Shepard to the comm. room. She walked into a part of the ship apply named 'The War Room.'

"Commander, was the trip to Mars worth it?" Hackett appeared over hologram.

"I think so, sir. We got schematics for the Reaper killing device. Doctor T'Soni can tell you more about it," Liara stepped up, and brought up the device's plans.

"Liara, do you think it will work?" Hackett stared intently at her. She knew that his trust in her came from Shepard's influence.

"The Protheans poured all their last resources into his device. They wouldn't have done so if they thought it would fail. It is capable of unthinkable destruction, according to these plans. I would say that this is our best chance at defeating the Reapers," Liara didn't break eye contact once. She had come a long way from the SR-1.

"Duly noted, Liara. Can you please send over the plans so we can look over them a little more?" Hackett spoke to Liara like she had authority. It was a great feeling.

"Yes, sir," she nodded towards the Admiral.

"Good. Commander, anything else?" Hackett turned his icy gaze from Liara to Colt.

"Lieutenant Commander Williams was critically wounded on Mars. We are taking her to the Citadel now," Shepard's voice remained the same, but Liara could feel his turmoil.

"I'm sorry to hear that, Commander. It's only going to get worse, though," Liara could see Shepard clench his jaw. "I'm glad you're heading to the Citadel. You're next priority needs to be rallying support for Earth from the Council," Hackett truly did sound sorry for Ashley, but his voice turned to that commanding voice that Shepard used on missions. "Shepard, let me be honest. You're famous, everyone knows Commander Shepard, and that is exactly why you're the perfect person for talking to the Council. It's expected that you're going to be reinstated as a Spectre, this will also put on added pressure. I couldn't think of anyone more qualified," Hackett might have smiled for half of a second.

"Thank you, sir. I'll do all I can," Shepard slapped off a clean salute.

"Hackett out," the hologram shimmered out. Liara started to walk out of the room, but Shepard wasn't following. When she turned to find him, he was leaning against the hologram controls.

"Shepard, are you okay?" Liara started walking towards him.

"This war has been going on for what? Two days? Already one of my responsibilities is almost dead. Earth is getting decimated, and we have no idea if Garrus and Tali are alive. Hell, I don't even know if my mom is alive," Shepard sounded slightly hysterical.

"Shepard, we're going to win," Liara set a gentle hand on his shoulder.

"I know, that's not the problem. It's getting there that's the problem. Hackett said it would get worse, and what if he's right," Shepard was still leaning on the hologram controls, not making eye contact.

"You're gonna get us through. That's why Hackett is giving you these high priority missions - no else can do them. Things may get rough, but we'll make it through," Shepard looked up hopefully.

"You're right. Thanks Liara. Sometimes the motivator needs a little motivation," Colt started walking out of the comm. room to the war room.

"I get the feeling that you're not very convinced of this Prothean device," Liara followed Shepard out. He held himself with a little bit of arrogance while looking around the war room.

"It seems too good to be true," Shepard gazed around the room. She could feel how he was re-adjusting to his ship. A simmering anger just beneath the surface was also present within Colt. Liara felt guilt creep into her.

"The Protheans wouldn't have spent their final days building it if there isn't something to it," Liara reassured him.

"I know, but sometimes a bit of skepticism is a good thing," Shepard replied.

"Do you think that the council will give you support?" Liara followed Shepard as he moved through the war room. He touched a few things here, and there. Shepard didn't speak for a while.

"They better, or this will be a short war," Shepard left the war room, and Liara behind soon after.

...

Good, Liara was at the meeting with the Council. She always brought an air of know how to any situation. Her big words, facts, and figures always made arguments sound legitimate. Her explanation of the Prothean device was thousands of times better than anything he could've done. The Council was also hanging on every word she said.

Then he was thrown back into the spotlight," Shepard, after everything you've been through with the Reapers, do you really believe this device will work?" Spartacus, the Turian councilor asked.

Shepard looked into Liara's eyes for a moment, and could feel her conviction that it would work. "Liara believes this device will win us the war...and so do I," Shepard tried to forcefully say his words. He didn't know about the device's capabilities, but he trusted Liara. "Unity is the only way we make this device, and stop the greatest threat the world has ever known," Shepard sounded genuine, because he was. The asari councilor, Tevos, looked towards the salarian. When the salarian shook her head, an anger so intense burned in his soul. He knew Liara felt his emotions, because she looked at him worriedly for a moment.

"I'm sorry Shepard, but we cannot send any military help to Earth. We have our own people to think about," Colt's fury rose with every word. He only felt a little better when the salarian councilor invited him to a war meeting, the promise of aid following if salarian safety was ensured. Tevos promised no support. To make things better, Udina made him come to his office after the meeting. He wanted to see Ashley, and talk to Liara, but Udina was a dream killer of the first class.

When Shepard went to Udina's office, he and Udina enjoyed a bitching session regarding the Council. However, it was embarrassing when Spartacus walked in, and heard their childish rants. He offered a way to gain Turian support. It was a start. He was also reinstated as a Spectre, making Shepard swell with pride if only for a little while. Next stop was Palaven.

...

Shepard was angry. He thought he had gotten over his previous anger, but it had come back full force. He felt that the meeting with the Council was close to useless, and he had no idea about Ashley's condition. Shepard didn't consider himself an angry person, but that was the strongest emotion he had felt lately. His anger was directed at everyone.

He was angry with Liara for not visiting him in jail. He was angry with his mom for not telling him she was okay. He was angry with the Council for letting the Reaper invasion even happen, considering he had given them years to find a solution. He was angry with Ashley because she had gotten hurt. Shepard was angry that the Alex kid had gotten himself killed. He was angry at the Reapers because they were killing an unthinkable number of people every moment. The person he was most angry at, though, was himself.

Colt hadn't pushed hard enough for action from the Council. He wasn't even able to be a good enough person that enough people cared to visit him in jail. He was angry that he hadn't had enough time to personally locate his mom. He was angry at himself, because he should've saved Ashley and Alex's doppelganger. Colt was angry with himself, because he was sitting here buying a poetry book, while lives were being obliterated by the Reapers. He had enough skills that he should've been able to fix every problem on his list.

This anger was only intensified when he visited Ashley in Heurta Memorial. She was badly hurt, and he could've so easily saved her. She would be fine; at least that's what three different doctors had said. Shepard was angry because he had wished that Ashley had died instead of Kaiden, and his wish had almost come true. There was something wrong with a person who wished for that, and the universe had set out to teach him a lesson. He was just plain angry at everything.

The world seemed to take it upon itself to make his life as shitty as possible. Even thinking that made Colt angry. He had absolutely no right to roll in self pity, and yet here he was feeling sorry for himself. Meeting, and inviting Doctor Chakwas back to the _Normandy, _helped his mood for about two seconds. The good doctor was always a morale booster; he was glad that at least she was safe.

After inviting back Doctor Chakwas, he had bought as many presents as possible for Ashley, hoping that somehow karma would smile upon this gesture and let him be. The momentary gain in happiness from Chakwas quickly left his soul. Even thinking about his birthday the next day did nothing to improve Colt's angry mood.


	46. Do You Count the Dead Years?

**Chapter Forty Four: Do You Count the Dead Years? **

Shepard's conscience refused to let him rest. When he had wearily dragged himself to the commander cave, and collapsed on his bed, nothing but nightmares greeted him. Black, oily shadows shaped like humans whispered, and shimmered their way through a dark forest. He could hear the voices of Kaiden, Alex, his father, long dead squad mates, and his friends that were in the Tenth Street Reds. They kept saying his name over, and over again. When his name no longer slipped through their lips, it was begging, and pleading. Seemingly hundreds of voices asked him to save them, or why he hadn't been fast enough.

The only solid figure in his personal hell was the Alex kid. He ran through the shadows, laughing. Red light, and that haunting noise made by the Reapers lit up the darkened forest. Every time Shepard had almost saved the kid, he was distracted by crimson light. The shadows would gently pull on his N7 armor as he passed them. Ghost fingers would occasionally brush him, and it was terrifying. The only thing keeping Colt going was the little boy.

When the child finally stopped, Colt reached his hands out to take him. The child looked up as a Reaper horn went off above him. Red light painted the kid's face, before he burst into flame. Shepard watched Alex's light being snuffed out by flame. His fate was terrifyingly similar to Colt's father's.

Shepard woke up in a cold sweat. He was also in the standard Alliance casual wear, which was not very comfortable to sleep in. He felt more tired than before he fell asleep. What a way to start off his birthday.

Commander Shepard made his way to the bathroom, and hoped a little bit of cold water would clear him up. His mirror showed him a picture of a very disheveled man. Certainly not the person who was leading the fight against the Reapers. His face had drained of all color, and dark bags found their home under his eyes. Shepard slapped his face so the color would return.

A knock at his door only served to remind Shepard of his duty. He called out for the person to come in, but remained in the bathroom. He hadn't gained enough courage to leave.

"Shepard?" Liara's gentle voice echoed through the commander cave.

"In here!" Shepard stared at his reflection while speaking.

"Are you okay?" Liara's voice was just outside of his door.

"Just thinking about those we lost," Colt heard those whispers begging him to be saved.

"Anyone in particular?" Liara sounded so careful. Was Shepard really that bad?

"No, it's...ah... just kinda everyone," Shepard felt a little better. He decided to come out of the bathroom; he couldn't just cower while the war raged. The first human Spectre didn't get bad nightmares, children did.

"You won't let them die in vain," Liara gave him a careful smile, like he was fragile China. This wasn't right. Colt didn't need protecting, or reassuring, and even if he did, he shouldn't have. He was an Alliance soldier, an N7 operative, and humanities first human Spectre - he didn't need to be handled carefully. "There something else isn't there?" Liara narrowed her eyes at him.

"I didn't exactly dream of rainbows, and Pegasus," Colt meant to sound firm, hoping to put further questions to rest, but instead his voice sounded painful.

"I'm sorry. Wanna talk about it?" He could feel how hopeful she was. Didn't he talk to Liara a lot?

"No, I can't, but I'll show you. You know, through 'Embrace Eternity,"' Shepard knocked on his head. Liara nodded, and rested her forehead on his.

"Embrace eternity," Shepard was immediately plunged into his dream. He said nothing as Liara watched everything progress, and ending as the child burned.

"Colt, that was... I don't know," Liara was smart, she wasn't supposed to not know.

When she was nervous, she played with his hands. So she did exactly that. They looked at each other intensely, but uncertainly. Both of their emotions were muddled in Colt's mind. That small presence in the back of his mind was more intense than it had ever been, confirming Shepard's suspicions that Liara and himself were somehow connected mentally.

"Commander Shepard, my name is Samantha Traynor. I was in charge of the _Normandy's _retrofits. I just want to say how much of an hono-. Oh sorry, I... thought you were alone," Liara, and Shepard pulled immediately apart. Liara nodded to him, before leaving.

"No worries, come in," Shepard gave her a welcoming smile. "Continue Traynor," Shepard said cheerfully, all signs of his earlier distress gone.

"Okay...Um, is that a Varren?" Traynor stared behind him at Rosebud. She wagged her tail, and started panting. She seemed to be smiling.

"Sure is, Rosebud is her name," Shepard picked up a Varren toy, and started a game of tug-o-war with her. She was hella strong, and pulled it right out of Colt's hands. She then tore the unsuspecting toy apart. Pieces of stuffing flying everywhere in Shepard's room. He laughed, and turned back to Traynor.

"I didn't expect you to-" Traynor started before Shepard interrupted her.

"You didn't expect that Commander Shepard would own a Varren? More specifically a Varren with a pink collar, and more clothes than everyone else on the _Normandy _combined?" Shepard said this with a challenging tone, he was trying to mess with this new member of the _Normandy. _

"I meant no disrespect, sir...Commander. I've just never seen an actual Varren," Traynor's eyes bulged; she was obviously flustered.

Shepard kept up his challenging look, before breaking out in laughter. Poor Traynor looked so confused. "I'm just messing with you. Of course no one expects me to have a spoiled Varren. They think I eat nails for breakfast, and run solely on testosterone. While both of those things are entirely accurate, it turns out that I have a soft spot for Varren," Shepard rubbed the inside of Rosebud's ears, and she sighed in happiness.

"Of course, sir," Traynor looked even more confused.

"You can call me Shepard," he put out his hand to take, and she took it hesitantly. Maybe he shouldn't have been so strange right away.

"Of course, sir-Shepard. I'll be handling your email, making sure you're not getting messages from just anyone, and doing a lot of the administrative work," Shepard was _so _glad to hear that. He didn't know what would happen if the galaxy relied on his handwriting for reports. He even danced ever so slightly.

"Shepard, are you okay?" Traynor looked shell shocked. A combination of his right off the bat flummoxing and dance moves probably scarred her for life.

"I was dancing. You have no idea how happy I am that someone will be doing the administrative work. It's my pet peeve," Colt clapped her on the shoulder. "Thanks so much," Shepard decided that sometimes he was too thrilled at the small things. When he saw Traynor smiling, though, it made all the difference. He felt like they would be good friends.

...

From Menae, Shepard watched Palaven burn. The Turian's home world was getting hammered by the Reapers. Shepard hated fire. It was so destructive, and gave nothing. He wondered if that's how the galaxy saw him. General Corinthus' voice pulled him back to the situation at hand. Pity for Palaven would have to wait.

The fight during the comm. tower repair was intensely fun. Shepard and Liara made an unstoppable force of deadly biotics, and bullets. It was nice fighting beside her in such a fun environment. After that fight, they learned that a Turian named Victus would be the next Primarch.

None other than Garrus Vakarian strode up to him when they returned to the Turian's command camp . The Turian walked up to Shepard with an arrogant little sway. "Didn't know breaking out of jail was one of your specialties," Garrus flared his mandibles in what was probably meant as a smile.

The quest for Primarch Victus was much the same. Constant banter between Shepard and Garrus. Always trying to one up each other. The only concerning thing was that the _Normandy _was malfunctioning, and Liara had to leave. Shepard also almost got killed by these nasty things called Brutes, but other than that it was a pretty fun mission. Shepard had to use every last diplomatic fiber in him to get Victus to come on the _Normandy, _and eventually he did. Shepard was one step closer to this much needed war summit.

...

Dress blues were special torture devices designed for maximum discomfort. Maybe it was because that almost every bad thing that happened was followed by them, a negative connection forming. Whatever the reason, Shepard still found himself fidgeting against them. He looked good; dress blues could make anyone look good. That's precisely why he had worn them. Liara was taking him out to dinner for his birthday, and he couldn't just wear anything. Maybe the restaurant would give them a discount, seeing how Shepard was shoveling his way through mountains of BS for the galaxy.

Liara had told him that she would be five minutes. Twenty minutes later, Shepard was still waiting. Finally, after an ungodly amount of time, Liara emerged from her XO office. Every thought from Colt disappeared at the sight of her. He could feel his jaw touching the floor.

She wore a beautiful asari dress that flowed down to her ankles. She was absolutely stunning. "Colt, I think you need to pick your jaw off the floor," Liara's laugh was melodious.

"I..ah...yeah. When you said you'd dress up, I had no idea," Shepard held his arm out for her. "After you m'lady," Shepard bowed slightly, sweeping his free hand dramatically.

When the couple arrived at the restaurant, everything appeared abandoned. Suspicion flashed through Colt before a tremendous cry of "Happy Birthday" reverberated through his bones. He felt honored that a crew that barely knew him would throw such a thing. Then he thought about how Garrus, Joker (maybe EDI) and Liara had probably set most of it up. Still the crew was there, and participating enthusiastically. He had no idea why they had the party here instead of the _Normandy,_ but it was better not to ask questions.

"Commander," Garrus stepped forward with an awkwardly perched party hat atop his head. "The dance floor awaits you," he gestured to a wide open floor. So that's why they had rented this place, to laugh at Shepard's dancing. Well if they wanted a show, he would give them one.

Shepard walked to the middle of the floor, and commenced his dance of a thousand tears. At each beat, his body awkwardly moved. He started out with traditionally bad dances such as The Varren Wobble, The Pyjack Jiggle, and his signature move, The Shepard Shuffle. Each dance just kept deteriorating into something much worse than before. Shepard found the way that everyone was entranced hilarious. When the song finally came to an end, he bowed to his crew.

"That, my friends, is dancing in its purest forms," Shepard announced. No one said a word, Colt was sure that they were too amazed to say anything.

"I guess that just because you save the galaxy numerous times, it doesn't mean that you can dance," Garrus said. The entire crew erupted into laughter.

"Ya, ya. I have too many skills in fighting to be good at dancing," Shepard stepped off the dance floor to find cake. Even if the rest of the war was soul crushing, he would have this memory.

"So how old are you?" An Ensign asked. Shepard was enjoying a piece of vanilla cake, while another Ensign told everyone a funny story.

"Well, I don't know. Do you count the dead years? I'm either thirty or thirty two," Colt scratched his head. That was certainly a mind bender.

"Well the younger the better, right?" Liara strode up next to him, and put her hand over his.

"Depends, I kinda like not knowing. Keeps my life mysterious," Shepard waggled his eyebrows at her.

"Shepard, your age discrepancy doesn't make you mysterious, you do that without any help," Liara patted his hand. Shepard swallowed at her comment; he laughed in discomfort.

...

**Author's Note: Happy Birthday Commander Colt Shepard! I can't wait for you to be born! Shepard will be born in one hundred and forty nine years. Get excited people. **


	47. The Secret of Cybernetics

**Chapter Forty Five: The Secret of Cybernetics **

"Wait, you're staying?" Shepard was pretty sure his eyes were lying to him. He and Rosebud had entered Liara's room expecting another painful goodbye. Instead, the room he thought Liara had decided to temporarily use was full of monitors and the little drone that thought everyone was the Shadow Broker greeted him.

"Well, yes I am," Liara sat at her desk, and looked up. "Is that a problem?" She looked towards him worriedly. Colt hoped that he didn't sound disappointed she was staying.

"Of course it's fine. I just didn't think that you'd stay. In fact, I came here expecting to say goodbye," Shepard shifted uncomfortably. His voice had cracked a little.

"Nope, I'm staying. You'd get into too much trouble without me. Besides the great Commander Shepard needs a trusted advisor, and the Shadow Broker's resources. Also, I think Colt Shepard could do with some moral support," she flashed him a such a mischievous smile that his heart skipped a beat. "Plus, I crashed my old ship into Cerberus," she said that last line quickly, and gave him an innocent look.

"Wait...what?" Shepard liked the sound of this story. He settled on her bed, even though Rosebud took up most of it.

"Well' Cerberus came looking for me and Feron. So we loaded up your fish, hamster, Rosebud, and ourselves into a shuttle, and I controlled the ship remotely. When the Cerberus ship was in range I crashed mine into it. That reminds me, I keep forgetting to tell you that Feron has the space hamster and your fish still," Shepard was happy to hear that the rest of his growing posse of animals was with Feron. He would go to Feron's ship either today or tomorrow to pick them up.

"That's badass. My girlfriend crashed a ship into another one, while escaping dramatically. Couldn't have done it better myself," Shepard gave her a wide smile. "Now that you're on the _Normandy _we can do a ton of stuff together. We could watch vids, have lunch, kill things, blow up things, dance, watch the seasons of Fleet and Flotilla I've missed, and that's just some of the list I've compiled" Shepard tried to lay back on the bed, but the runt of a baby Varren he had bought was now a hundred pound bed stealer.

"I would enjoy the rest of the list, but later. I need to analyze a few more things," Liara turned from Shepard to her monitor. Reluctantly he started to leave, a very tired Varren trailing him.

"One more thing, do turians have beaks? More specifically does Garrus?" This question had bothered Colt for months. Who better to ask then the person whose degree count was higher than words Shepard knew.

"Hmm... well-" Liara was cut off by the lights suddenly going dark, before emergency lights powered back up.

"Joker, what the _hell _just happened?" Shepard yelled at the ceiling.

"EDI just went offline," Joker's voice sounded panicked. Shepard charged out of Liara's room, with the asari just behind him. Garrus and James were looking around like they were startled. Other crew members looked around worriedly.

Shepard ran towards a panel that he could manually use to lockdown his ship. Red lights started flashing, and doors were completely sealed after he typed the code into lock her down. A voice that didn't belong to EDI kept saying emergency lockdown over and over again.

Commander Shepard assumed that going to the room that housed EDI was probably the best idea. He tore off one of the mess hall's seats and found no small number of guns. He had been informed of the secret armory only hours before. He handed a gun to Liara, Garrus, James, and two Ensigns before getting himself one. When he turned towards the med-bay he saw smoke coming from where EDI was housed in the med bay. Shepard also pulled out the only oxygen mask he could find and pulled it over his face. He would be the only one going into the dangerous room.

Luckily, Doctor Chakwas was in a sleeper pod, and no one else was in the med-bay. He over rode the lockdown codes on the med-bay door, and walked cautiously in. Not a lot of smoke had escaped into the med-bay. He grabbed a fire extinguisher on the wall, and approached the source of the danger. Garrus, James, and Liara hung close behind him.

"All of you stay outside," Shepard pulled the straps on his oxygen mask tighter, and started the flow of the precious gas. He made sure his gun was loaded, and over rode the lock into EDI's room. A part of his mind registered that Liara used to stay on in this room on the SR-1.

When the doors opened, only a small amount of smoke drifted out. He could see the blaze of a fire, so he grabbed the extinguisher and walked in.

The environmental controls had kept the smoke from leaving the small room, so a thick haze had developed in it. The visibility was less than a foot, but Shepard could hear movement. "State your name and come here with your hands up! If you don't, I reserve the right to use deadly force!" Shepard shouted. He increased the biotic barrier around himself.

"Sorry Commander. It's EDI, and I've taken control of Eva Core's body," the mechanized Eva Core stepped in front of Shepard with her hands up. He lowered his gun, and let his biotics dissipate.

"Alright. We'll talk in a sec, after I get these fires out," Shepard turned towards the crew waiting outside. "Stand down, we don't have a security breach," he could hear guns being lowered. Then he grabbed the fire extinguisher and set to work on the small fires.

Shepard walked out of the smoky room into the med-bay. EDI followed right behind. He pulled off his oxygen mask, and put codes into a panel to lift the lockdown. When Garrus, Liara, and James saw Eva Core, they raised their guns at her. "Guys, it's okay. This is EDI, and she's taken over Eva's body," Shepard looked her over once more.

"I'm sorry about all the commotion. Taking control of her body was slightly harder than I realized. I did not mean to start fires," EDI held her hands behind her back, but still seemed a little awkward.

"Hey, it was fun. Reminded me of my younger days," Shepard said, patting EDI on the shoulder.

"How does this remind you of your younger days?" Liara asked.

"You guys didn't know? Well before I went to officer candidate school on Arcturus, I was an Alliance firefighter. I left because it was so boring. Ships have great fire control systems, so basically I just sat around. I think I only was an official firefighter for like three months, and then I enrolled on Arcturus," Shepard explained. Their faces showed that they hadn't known that.

"Anyways, EDI do some tests on the body, see what it can do. Maybe you'll be able to join the ground squad," he smiled at her hopefully. Then a thought crossed his mind, "No one tell Joker what happened, I want to see his reaction when he sees EDI," Shepard could imagine some bouncing, and some high-pitched squeals.

...

"So, you just want to run some tests on me?" Shepard was suspicious of Chakwas' 'tests' after The Great Needle Debacle of '85.

"Yes, and no needles this time. We don't want to repeat the Needle Debacle of '85. I'm just gonna put you on a treadmill, and put some sensors on you. I just want to find out more about your cybernetics. Unfortunately, the med-bay is too small for the treadmill, so we'll have to do this in the mess hall," Chakwas was fiddling with something on her desk. Probably something that would provoke Shepard's fear of needles.

"Great, I'm gonna be on show for my whole crew," Colt grumped.

"It only gets better. The only thing I'm letting you wear is running shorts, and shoes. I have to put sensors on you, and clothing will make the readings less accurate," Chakwas smiled in such a way that he knew she knew how uncomfortable this was going to be for him.

"Fantastic. Let's get this over with. With any luck everyone will be doing their jobs, and no one will know what's happening," Shepard said hopefully. All of his hopes, and dreams were dashed, however; when he walked into the mess hall, and tons of people were there.

Chakwas' assistant was setting up a treadmill. Shepard would have to check the shipping manifests more often. If Chakwas could somehow get a treadmill aboard, what was Garrus getting?

Shepard had changed into shorts and his N7 hoodie. He didn't plan on revealing his chest until he absolutely had to. By now everyone had heard that something was in the mess hall and his crew was milling about. Liara had come out of her room, and was watching him carefully.

Only when Shepard started stretching did he notice how gloriously white his legs were. When you saved the universe, you didn't have time to tan. Besides, his legs were covered in armor most of the time. Those were his excuses, and he was sticking to them.

"Come here, Shepard," Chakwas had a suspicious box in her hands. "Alright, I'm going to put sensors on you now. So take off your hoodie," Shepard slowly took it off, painfully aware of how many eyes were on him. Chakwas opened the box, and started attaching things to his arms, chest, and legs. Then she brought out this embarrassing helmet thing, and strapped it on his head and then connected this tube to his mouth. She explained that it was to monitor breathing patterns. "Go ahead, and get on the treadmill. Just do a slow walk at first," Chakwas opened her omni-tool, and started doing something on that.

Colt walked slowly on the treadmill, eyeing the people watching. He couldn't speak, because of the tube, but if he could, he would be yelling at everyone to get back to work. "Alright, Commander. I'm getting readings from all your sensors. So let's increase the speed a little bit," Chakwas did something and the treadmill moved him into an easy jog. Liara was watching him with eyes raised. Was she swooning?

"Alright, finally we're going to do a sprint. The treadmill will keep up with you. Start when you're ready," the good doctor turned back to monitoring him. Shepard took in a few breaths, and launched himself into a full sprint. He went on for what he thought was a few minutes, and then slowed down.

"Shepard, I have the data I need. Let's get those sensors off," Chakwas was able to get the things off quickly; relief flowed through him when the weird cap came off. "Let's talk in my office," she started into the med-bay.

"Sorry everyone shows over," Shepard grinned at his crew before following Chakwas.

"Congratulations, it looks like you're the fastest human to ever live. You're top speed was just above twenty-six miles an hour," Chakwas took a moment to look at him.

"Well, I'm mostly robot, so it doesn't really count," he replied.

"Still impressive. Here's what I found out. Your head is only about three percent cybernetic, so basically any injuries there will have to be treated normally. Your lungs are about eighty percent organic tissue, so they'll be treated normally, with maybe a few modifications. The rest of your internal organs, including your heart and stomach, are over sixty percent cybernetic. Now that's good and bad. You'll heal a lot quicker, and probably won't need medical attention for a lot of injuries. For example, if you were to get shot in your stomach without armor or shields, the cybernetics would heal you nicely. You would easily survive that. The drawback is that you cannot handle extreme temperatures. Anything below fifteen degrees would freeze your cybernetics. Anything above ninety degrees could easily fry your systems. Also, your threshold for electricity is a lot less. So don't get shocked. The only thing that's acceptable is a shock to restart your heart, but hopefully we'll never have to do that. Your legs are ninety five percent cybernetic. One hundred percent from the knee down. Your arms are about fifty-fifty," Chakwas sucked in a huge breathe after that speech.

"I'll get my armor modified so it has some heating and cooling abilities. So you'll be able to treat me better with this information?" Shepard asked, his mind still reeling from her explanation.

Doctor Chakwas looked at him critically for a moment, "I hope so, there's still more data to go through."


	48. Much Ado About Shepard

**Chapter Forty Six: Much Ado About Shepard**

The extranet article's cover art hit Liara hard. It showed a cartoon version of Shepard holding the Milky Way Galaxy on his shoulders. Planets were crumbling off, their features distinctive of Earth, and Palaven. The cartoon Shepard was desperately trying to save them with last ditch efforts using his feet. His face was aged ten years (she didn't know if that was on purpose) and his normal brown hair on his face was white. The top of his head might have been white, too, but it was hard to tell since the artist used his trademark shaved head. The scar on his hairline was even there, only looking more rundown. The cartoon was a sickeningly accurate picture of Shepard's position.

Before this she had never really thought of how much pressure was on Shepard, but the artwork had brought her to reality. Liara had been doing things, important things, with the Shadow Broker network, but the gravity of the universe's situation had never dawned on her. Now it had. It was especially horrible to realize the awful position Colt was in. She thought it might be better to continue to live obliviously.

Even when Shepard walked into her room wearing his very clingy, and very distracting dress blues, it didn't make her feel better. Rosebud following him in, and looking like she was smiling didn't help.

"So how do I look?" Shepard gestured his hands out wide. He grinned that crooked smile that made Liara's heart skip a beat.

"Fine," she stood up, and immediately started straightening out everything. Crooked medal? Adjusted. Wrinkle in his collar? Gone. Still the distraction didn't help. She tried to make herself joyful; since she knew Shepard could feel some of her emotions.

She was apparently doing a horrible job, though, because Colt caught her hand. Then he proceeded to very worriedly ask what's wrong. The concern clouding his normally vibrant jade eyes made Liara feel a little better.

"Nothing serious, go to the war summit, and then we can talk," Liara straightened everything out again. Shepard slapped off a salute, and escorted her to the CIC. There she would wait with Rosebud to hear what the top galactic politicians and military leaders decided what the fate of everything would be.

...

'I want this,' and 'I don't want that' would be an accurate summary of Shepard's war summit. Basically, whenever anyone wanted something, another leader would say they didn't want that. The most prominent of these fights was the one over the genophage. The Krogans wanted it cured, the salarians didn't. The tension built up from there.

Shepard really, _really _hated choosing between two species. Both the Krogans and the salarians had so much to offer the war effort. The decision came when Shepard thought about how many people each race had. Sure the salarians had more people at the moment, but if he cured the genophage, Krogans would easily surpass that number. More people to throw at the Reapers meant they were more valuable. A flawed, and awful way to picture war, but sometimes ruthless calculus was needed.

Then the bombshell about female Krogans being cured of the genophage, and locked up in a salarian laboratory hit. Shepard's decision to side with the Krogans felt even more justified. Victus seemed to agree with his decision, so they planned to head for Sur' Kesh. The salarian dalatrass was very reluctant, even calling Shepard a bully, but it was hard to say no when three races were breathing down your neck.

Relief hit Shepard hard when he walked from the war summit. He was glad to be away from everyone, Wrex included. Liara, Garrus, Rosebud and Vega waited for him in the CIC. Liara waved at him enthusiastically, and he waved back.

Colt approached the four, and threw them a crazed look, "Oh. My. God. That was one of the worst meetings I have ever experienced. Everyone was just in it for themselves. Does no one see that we will only defeat the Reapers together? I was not designed to put up with these type of things," Colt knew his eyes were bulging, and his hands were moving wildly during his rant. He tried to calm himself down. "Sorry, what I meant was that everyone was just so courteous I couldn't believe it. We all ran around the table holding hands, singing lullabies, and talking about our dear families. Then we sipped hot cocoa, and sang a song on the importance of togetherness," Colt laughed at how everything he said was the exact opposite of what happened. He laughed even more when he saw Liara giggling behind her hand.

"Commander Shepard. I knew you were willing to bully anyone to get what you wanted, but I was not aware that you also lied," Shepard held in a long sigh when he heard the salarian dalatrass speak. She was not amused by his antics.

"I was joking, dalatrass. I'm sorry for appearing to be a bully, but the galaxy needs the Krogan. They won't cooperate unless we do something about the genophage," Shepard tried to speak calmly; he wanted to sound in control.

"The salarians will have to deal with the repercussions of your short sightedness, Commander. When this is over, we'll be dealing with large numbers of Krogan. My people will have to sacrifice even more than we already have, a concept I'm sure you don't understand," a rolling tide of anger hit Shepard hard. How dare she assume he hadn't sacrificed!

"Dalatrass, I would watch your words carefully, since it's quite obvious you have no idea what you're talking about. You have NO idea what I've sacrificed! You don't even understand what sacrificing is. I'm guessing the only thing you've ever had to do without is a meal or two. Your people understand what it means to sacrifice; such a shame that their politicians can't. Before making any more uninformed decisions, shut your mouth. The galaxy needs military leaders right now, and insulting a high ranking member of the Alliance isn't going to get you far," Shepard yelled at the dalatrass. He was seething at her words. He hoped his words were as devastating to her, as her words to him.

"Joker, take us to Sur' Kesh. Ensign Garcia, make sure the lovely dalatrass has everything she needs. The ride to Sur' Kesh will be a while." Ensign Garcia ran up to Shepard when his name was said. At this point everyone in the CIC was staring at the yelling match. When Shepard turned to leave he saw the horror in Liara's eyes. He didn't care if yelling at the leader of a major race was frowned upon, he was done. A prickle of pain made its way from Shepard's stomach, a sure sign of how mad he was.

Liara, Garrus, Rosebud and James followed Shepard on the elevator. Satisfaction coursed through him when he saw the shocked face of the dalatrass. Liara gripped his hand in an effort to comfort him, while James and Garrus spent their time avoiding eye contact. Colt felt bad that he had made everyone else feel bad. "Listen guys, I'm sorry-," he was interrupted when nausea hit him. He could feel bile in his throat, but swallowed it back down. His mouth tasted like blood, so he brought his free hand to his mouth. When he brought his fingers into his sight range, he could see crimson red.

Confusion clouded his mind for a second, and then white hot pain ripped through Colt's torso. He yanked his hand out of Liara's and gripped his stomach. The pain was unbearable, and he let out a strangled sigh. His body was glued to the elevator's side, in an attempt to keep upright. He could feel Liara at his side. Colt could vaguely hear her asking what was wrong. Rosebud was furiously licking his hand. Garrus and James were also close, asking him questions he couldn't understand.

The elevator had stopped on the crew deck. Colt remembered that's where they were going. He stumbled out of the elevator, still gripping his stomach. He went down to one knee, a very shaking hand keeping him up. Before he could stop it, he vomited. Blood and that thick clear oil were the only things that came out. "Get Chakwas," was the only thing he could get out. The pain was too overwhelming to think of anything else.

Vaguely he could feel himself being lifted. It might have been someone using biotics. People spoke all around him, but he couldn't make out voices. He felt a prick in his arm, and ever so slowly the pain went away. "Shepard, can you hear me?" Chakwas asked. Her voice was off to the side.

"Ya, what happened?" He felt so tired. All he wanted to do was sleep.

"Do you think you can sit up?" Chakwas' hand lightly touched his arm.

"Ya, I think so," Shepard sat up with some help. He was in the Normandy's med-bay.

"Surprisingly, this incident was quite lucky for you," Shepard's vision cleared, and he saw Chakwas looking at him.

"Doesn't seem like it," he replied, still trying to get his bearings back.

"I have some... news, so listen closely," Chakwas' voice clearly changed, so Shepard tried to focus even more on her. "Do you remember how I talked to you about medical leave after the Batarian relay incident?" Shepard nodded as best he could.

"I told you that your cybernetics weren't taking to your organic tissue as much as they should've, and you needed time to make them fuse together. To make two parts of you into one. I'm sorry, but your organic tissue is rejecting your cybernetics," Chakwas' words made no sense to Shepard. "When you worked with Cerberus, they were fusing nicely. I think a combination of shortened healing time, and strenuous activity has made your organic tissue reject the cybernetics. Your organs are only working at eighty percent right now. You're lucky this happened, or I might not have caught all this in time," Shepard wasn't understanding her point at all.

"What are you trying to tell me?" Shepard's words were a bit slurred.

Chakwas turned her head from him. He thought he saw a tear run down her cheek, "Shepard, you're dying."


	49. A Game of Lies

**Author's Note: This chapter came so slowly, because sometimes it's good idea to leave people in suspense. Hate me if you must. **

**Chapter Forty Seven: A Game of Lies**

Colt was now completely awake, the sleep shocked out of him. "So, what are our options?"

"To permanently fix this, you would need surgery. I would recommend this. Unfortunately, the recovery would be at least six months," Chakwas explained, still not quite looking at him.

"You know I can't do that doc. There won't be anything left to save in that amount of time," Colt was still in shock. The fact that he was dying hadn't registered.

"I know, but I had to give you that option. Just in case. The only thing else we can do, besides surgery, is to try and slow the separation of your organic and cybernetic tissue. I can do that with pills and shots," he groaned when she said the word 'shots.' "That won't fix anything permanently, but you won't go downhill so fast. I'm going to try and find another solution to this. Some sort of miracle cure. Of course I'm going to have to tell Admiral Hackett; we need more funding for your treatments," Chakwas explained.

"Absolutely not. No one can know about this, especially members of the Alliance High Command. I would be taken out of command of the _Normandy, _and the whole galaxy would be screwed. _No one,_ not even Liara, can know. I'll know, and you'll know, that's it," Shepard was tense with the thought of someone finding out.

"Fine, but we do need creds. This isn't going to be cheap. You need to see specialists; I can't do this alone," Chakwas had recovered, and was now looking Colt square in the eye.

"They'll just talk to the media and then this will turn into a real shitstorm," Colt replied; he rubbed the top of his head.

"Don't worry; I'll only contact doctors I know well. They will not under any circumstances tell anyone. I'm sure of it. As of right now, we're heading for the Citadel. There, I can analyze everything better. That one test I did with all those sensors while you were on the treadmill will help out a lot. At Heurta Memorial, I can get the proper medicines, but you need to get more creds from the Alliance," Chakwas turned towards her desk and started tapping at a datapad.

"I'm not stealing from the Alliance, especially during wartime. We can use my creds; I've amassed quite a bit," Shepard grabbed a pad of paper and started writing down all of his banking information. "Here, take what you need. Don't let anyone get a hold of this though."

"Shepard, are you sure?" Chakwas looked up, a shocked expression on her face.

"I trust you Karin. Besides, we can't spare any expense fighting the Reapers," Colt stood to leave, a faint pain still in his stomach.

"Colt...we'll get through this together," Chakwas lightly touched his arm, and gave him a warm smile. Colt still didn't know if his real mom was okay, but Chakwas was okay, so not everything was bad.

Shepard put on his Commander facade and walked out into the Mess Hall. He must not give any indication that something was wrong. His entire ground crew was there, along with some other members who weren't vital at the moment. Liara herself stood by the door. Her hand was massaging her temple, before looking up at Shepard. Recognition crossed her face, and she pulled him into a hug. It only lasted a few seconds, as Shepard hated putting his feelings on show.

Everyone stood up, and greeted Shepard. They asked him so many questions that he couldn't understand a single one. "I'm fine, guys. Some of my cybernetics didn't take a liking to me getting so angry, but I'm fixed. Just had to have a couple shots and we're on our way," Shepard hoped his lies sounded convincing. Recently, he had become troublingly good at lying, but wasn't so sure with his crew. He noticed Liara looking at him suspiciously, and he knew the link they shared would be a problem. It was hard to lie to someone who was in your mind. So he decided to change the subject before anyone got wise.

"Please tell me we have cheesecake. I have been it craving for hours now. Also, can anyone explain to me why it's called cheesecake, when it's clearly a pie. It should be called cheese pie," Shepard walked over to the refrigerator, and started going through stuff. He found a large piece, and dug in. Several crew members started debating the cheesecake. Shepard smiled when he saw how distracted everyone was. No one would remember his med bay visit, or the lies he told. No one would find out about his on coming death.

...

Shepard waited patiently for Liara to return. She was preparing some food for the two of them to share in her room. Rosebud was with Traynor for the afternoon, as the two quite liked each others company now. Colt was having a hell of a time keeping up the lie that everything was just peachy in him. It was hard enough not telling anyone when death was breathing down your neck, without one of them actually being able to feel your emotions. He planned on telling Liara about his cybernetic problem during their meal.

He was starting to feel a little antsy, so he started walking around the room. A little data pad was sitting away from everything else, so Shepard decided to investigate. He assumed it was information on an important location to Liara. Maybe he could save the place, and make Liara like him even more. Instead he stumbled upon an audio recording, one that was worse than just about anything Shepard could've found.

"Doctor Liara T'Soni- 9 Months since Commander Shepard's-," there was a pause. "This is my fourteenth audio log since... There is an obvious shift in demeanor from those around me. Before people would bring me meals and Doctor Chakwas stayed with me so I wouldn't be alone. When I was around people would whisper quietly, confirming amongst themselves that I was indeed the person who had lost the most with Shepard. They would say their condolences, and tell me how the galaxy had lost one of its wonders. Like I wasn't aware already."

"Now they've stopped with the meals, and Doctor Chakwas has left. Everyone believes that I'm over it, but it's still as raw as it was nine months ago. I've moved passed my suicide attempt." Shepard couldn't believe what she was saying. "But some days are worse than others. The quiet whisperings around me have stopped, and changed to normal conversation. They use to whisper things like 'Poor thing, I can't imagine what she's been through,' but now it's, 'She's young enough to find someone else.' "

"The problem is that I'm still in love with Commander Shepard. I don't want to find someone else, not yet. Maybe I'll go looking for someone else in the future. Probably not...Liara out," Shepard backed up onto the bed, and sat down heavily. He couldn't keep himself standing after that. Liara had tried to commit suicide? Shepard had caused that. Caused all those painful memories. Now he was about to do all of that again.

Shepard was going to die. One way or another he was going to do it before Liara even got middle aged. He could not, he would not, cause her so much pain again.

The subject of Shepard's distress walked into her room. Carrying the food they had agreed to share. She had a happy smile on her face, and approached him with stuff. The connection between the two told him that she was glad to have a break, especially with her favorite person. Shepard hated himself for what he was about to do. He should've never gotten involved with someone as pure as Liara.

"Colt I don't know if it's possible, but I think you're getting more handsome by the day," Liara sat beside him, and covered his hand with hers. When Shepard looked into her eyes, he found an emotion that made him feel even worse. "So I was thinking we should do something like this everyday. Just the two of us... Are you okay?" Colt cursed the link they had. He had tried to hide his turmoil from her, but he simply couldn't.

"Liara... I have something to tell you," Colt lost the words to tell her about his condition. So he switched to something else. "I think we need to take a break," he refused eye contact. This was better idea than telling her about his devastating medical condition. He could protect her way more this way. She wouldn't have to deal with the pain of losing him.

"What are you talking about Shepard?" Liara demanded, the use of his last name was a subtle change from a comfortable atmosphere, to one more tense.

"I'm breaking up with you," he said. Shepard knew he had to be brutal. She would still be attached to him otherwise. "I just don't like you that way anymore. My time in jail made me realize this. You'll find someone else that fits you more. Find someone that wants what you want. It's probably best for both of us if we pretend like this didn't happen. I'll bring the stuff you left in my room down. I hope we can still be friends," Shepard remembered someone telling him that asking to still be friends during a break up was probably the worst thing you could do. He had ended a four year relationship with just a few words. All in all, though, he would rather ruin Liara's day, than the rest of her nine hundred years.

Shepard left a very shell shocked looking asari on her bed, and went for the door. He would spend the rest of his trip to the Citadel sitting in the Commander cave, thinking about the magnitude of what he had done. Halfway to the elevator, he saw Tali going into Liara's room. He was glad someone would be there for his ex.


	50. Aethyta

**Author's Note: Sorry about the wait. It's been one of those weeks.**

**Chapter Forty Eight: Aethyta **

Shepard loved the limelight. He loved when he exited the _Normandy, _and reporters were waiting. It was a damn good thing that he liked it, too. In many ways the war hung in the balance of the media. He had to make himself, his crew, the Alliance, and ultimately the entire war effort look good. He knew he was the face leading the war and he loved it.

Arrogance was something that followed Shepard around. His confidence was always borderline arrogance. It was something that came with the job. He knew he was the best, so he acted like it. Colt was well aware how mad he could make people, even his own friends. He could be the biggest asshole this side of Mars. He tried not to be, but it happened more than he should've allowed it. Some part of his mind knew it was a defense mechanism, but he would never admit it to himself. Colt would rather be an asshole, than someone with debilitating problems.

So when the _Normandy _landed on the Citadel, he eagerly awaited the press with his arrogance working at full capacity. Colt waited at the airlock; he was practically gnashing at the bit for it to open. The rest of his crew stood behind him, no one seemed quite as keen as he was. It was no secret that the majority of the famed _Normandy _crew disliked media attention, all except their Commander.

Shepard was also secretly glad to get off the his ship_. _It had been only a few hours since he broke up with Liara, and he needed to get out. Once he had to go down to the crew deck, but made a full retreat when he saw Liara, and a couple other crew members at a table.

"Commander Shepard," Shepard jumped a little when his omni-tool flared to life, and Admiral Hackett appeared.

"Hackett, sir," Shepard waited for the admiral to continue.

"Have you heard?" Hackett's words were concerned, and slightly excited.

"Heard what, sir?" Shepard looked around nervously. What was so bad that the busy admiral personally got a hold of him? The rest of the crew was looking at him worriedly. When Shepard made eye contact with Liara, he quickly looked towards the admiral again.

"Some religious organization has put a bounty on you, it's on the television. Trust the press to keep something potentially lethal to themselves," the last part was mumbled by Hackett. He sounded like _that _neighbor everyone had, old, and disappointed in everything. One of the crew members turned on the television and the big red banner at the bottom read "Breaking News: Religious Group Demands Cmr. Shepard."

Everyone turned back to their Commander, and looked for guidance on the situation. Shepard listened to the reporter, and then burst out laughing. The shocked faces around him told Shepard that his laughter probably wasn't the most appropriate response ever. "Don't worry about it, sir. Nut jobs like that always want me for this sacrifice, and this amount of blood. Nothing new, and nothing to worry about," Shepard spoke reassuringly to Hackett, but it was meant for his crew.

"If you think so, Commander. I think this may be a legitimate threat, so be on the lookout. These people are offering a generous amount for you. At least the media hasn't said anything about the reward for you," Hackett himself looked a little surprised at Shepard's dismissal. Good, Shepard liked to keep people on their toes. One never knows what Shepard is going to say, he rarely even knew.

"Duly noted, but I think the worst that will happen is that I practice my biotics," Shepard replied.

"If anything happens, make sure you report it, Hackett out," Shepard's omni-tool collapsed again. His crew was still looking worriedly at him.

"Don't worry guys, the guns can handle anyone that tries something," Shepard raised his arms, and kissed his biceps. Then he proceeded to do a couple of poses for the benefit of his crew. His antics produced a few laughs; Shepard would take what he could get. "Now let's greet the reporters," that produced more than a few sighs.

The airlock opened, and Shepard all but skipped out. He was immediately greeted by camera flashes, and questions. He could sense the rest of the Shepard Squad (he was trying out different names for the _Normandy's _crew) trailing reluctantly behind him.

"Commander Shepard! How can you be sure that the galaxy will defeat the Reapers?" A reporter shouted.

"Well, I think it's fair to say that the galactic community is more than capable in these situations," Shepard turned to see the rest of his people inching their way towards the Citadel's other decks. He would keep the press busy for awhile, and allow everyone to escape. Then he would head for Huerta.

...

"Commander Shepard, it's a pleasure. It's been awhile," Doctor Michel reached her hand towards Shepard. He shook her hand, and looked around the white, sterile walls nervously. He didn't like hospitals; they always meant shots.

"The pleasure is mine. It's been a couple years, I think. So, ah, what's going to happen?" Shepard looked desperately at Chakwas.

"Doctor Chakwas told me about your condition. So I'm going to take some blood," there it was. The shots part. "Then me, and a couple other doctors, will make a treatment plan for you. For now, nothing will cure you permanently. We're just going to make something that will help with the pain, slow the progress of organic tissue rejecting the cybernetics, and make sure you can still go on missions," she explained.

"Okay, sounds good to me. Do anything, and everything to make sure I can still go on missions. I have to be functional during the Reaper War. I don't care about afterwards. If something makes my life shorter, or something like that, I don't care. As long as I can get through the war," Shepard tried not to look as a needle pierced his arm.

...

"So I keep seeing you around Doctor T'Soni. I've been around long enough to know that coincidences are as rare as rainbow-colored Varren," Shepard was talking to Matriarch Aethyta. Beside him was the ever adorable Rosebud, who wore her new outfit. This one had a big C-Sec painted on the side in different languages. Colt had found out that the easiest way of getting Rosebud onto the Citadel was to make her look like a C-Sec patrol Varren.

"Ya, well what's it to ya?" Aethyta grumbled. She was obsessively cleaning counters.

"I just like to know that one of my squad mates isn't being creeped on," Colt answered. He remembered meeting Aethyta a while ago on Illium. She told him some pretty...interesting stories, especially about her parents.

"I'm not creeping on her. Well.. I'm her -," The word Aethyta used was mixed up in his translator, but it was clear that Aethyta was Liara's other parent. Colt was drinking some alcoholic concoction when the truth came out, and some of it went up his nose. He managed to not spit it out everywhere, but it was a close one.

"I... ah see. Go, and meet her," Colt was trying to his hardest not to cough. If one of his parents were on the Citadel, Shepard would give anything to see them. He imagined Liara felt the same way.

"Why? I would just be some crazy bartender to her. Benezia ran off with her when she was only a couple months old," Aethyta stopped her cleaning and looked towards her daughter. Liara was sitting at a table hunched over her work. Colt felt guilty, because he was probably the reason she had stayed at that table for hours now.

"It would be stupid of me. She's the biggest intel broker in the galaxy. Plus, she has some shady connections... like a boyfriend who worked for Cerberus," Aethyta looked directly at him. She narrowed her eyes towards him, like he was a criminal!

"I only worked _with _Cerberus to fight the Reapers. I don't even exploit their resources anymore," Shepard fumed a little, but he wasn't too angry.

"I know. If you were still with Cerberus, you wouldn't get anywhere near her," Aethyta spoke calmly.

Colt was so tired of people threatening him. "Is that a threat?" He growled the words. Other patrons looked over, and moved away from them.

"I've never been trained, but I've had a thousand years to learn how to fight. I had to, it's not easy being this attractive. Anyways, no one messes with my girl," Colt would've been mad, except for her last couple sentences were pretty funny. Then he realized that he might be found dead in the gutter tomorrow since breaking up with 'her girl' might be considered messing with Liara.

"Ya, well nobody messes with my girl," Colt said this defiantly, and then realized what he had actually said. He had no right to say such a thing, but it was out.

"Good, I like to hear it," Aethyta smiled for the first time. "The asari matriarchs might have called a hit, if I hadn't stepped in, and volunteered to watch her. They're very threatened by the power she holds," Colt would have to help Liara be more secretive. So far everyone, everywhere knew she was the Shadow Broker.

"That's not going to happen, like ever," her words made Colt jumpy. Was someone going to assassinate Liara?

"It won't, not with me keeping an eye on things. If they do decide something, I'll tell you," Shepard relaxed slightly. He was still concerned.

"Now, go talk to Liara. If you don't, I'll get drunk, and hang around the bar. I'm a pretty exciting drunk," Colt leaned forward. He tried to contort his face into a wicked grin.

"Fine, I'll go, but only because I won't be responsible for Commander Shepard hurting himself," Aethyta turned towards another bartender, and said stuff Shepard didn't catch. Then she walked towards the table where Liara sat. The joke was on Aethyta, though. Colt couldn't get drunk, not really, not with his cybernetics. Not being able to get drunk was a double-edged sword.


	51. Talking Is Good-I Think

**Author's Note: Colt's tale was held up by a broken computer. For once the wait wasn't because of writer's block... it's a step. The good news is that I have written five chapters, and I will post these one right after another. It will be like a five day With Lions bonanza. **

**Chapter Forty Nine: Talking is Good... I Think**

"So tell me exactly what he said," Aethyta sat across the table from Liara. They were at Apollo's Cafe.

"He said that he didn't have feelings for me anymore. That he had come to this realization in prison, and it would just be better if we stopped seeing each other. Then he said he hoped we could still be friends," Liara wasn't going to cry. Not in front of Aethyta; she would probably call her some degrading name. She was too tough and self respecting to cry in public. She could handle it.

"That's it! I'm gonna kill him. Let's hope the Alliance can pull another hero out of their asses, because Commander Shepard is going to be found dead in the gutter," Aethyta rose from their table, and started towards the direction Shepard had left.

"No!" Liara hissed, and grabbed Aethyta's arm. Aethyta wouldn't really do it, but on the other hand Liara didn't want to take that chance. "You can't just kill the only hope for the galaxy," Liara found herself laughing at how serious Aethyta was. She also felt humbled that Aethyta would kill the only person between the Reapers and everyone else just because of his dumb and vague break up. They had just met ten minutes ago and yet her other parent was already ready to defend her.

"Oh, so now you're on the enemy's side?" Aethyta sat down heavily, and stared at Liara like she was the one who had orchestrated a murder.

"Colt is hardly the enemy... There's something weird going on with him," her change of subject was noticeable even to her. "He's been so distant lately, and not to just me, to everyone. The way he broke up with me was so abrupt, and...just not him."

"There is nothing wrong with Shepard, just assholeitis. Apparently he's too dumb to know when he's got something good. You're better off without some airhead, trigger-pulling idiot anyways. You're too smart for someone who doesn't know the difference between a Varren and a volus," Aethyta took a deep breath, "Look I have a male client, human since you seem to have a thing for them, that comes around to Apollo's a lot. Nice guy, who you'd get along great with. Now I could probably set some-."

"No...I, I couldn't. Shepard and I have this connection you see. You know a mental connection. Just because he broke up with me, doesn't mean the connection was severed. That's why I think something is up; his emotions are all weird," Liara took a second to remember what she had felt from Colt. "Whenever he's around me, there's such an all consuming feeling of guilt. I don't understand what the problem is," Liara felt a single tear of frustration spill down her face.

"Now the bastard is making you cry? I'm gonna kill him, I specifically told him not to be a jerk to you and look. The only option we have is to kill him, but if you don't want to get your hands dirty, I'll understand," before Liara had thought that Aethyta wouldn't kill Shepard, but now she wasn't too sure.

"The rest of the galaxy is more important than my feelings. So don't harm him," Liara tried to sound commanding, but her heart wasn't in it.

"Well I think you're more important than a crapton of greedy dumbasses, but I won't do anything. I can see that you're still hung up on him," Aethyta looked disappointed, maybe bartending didn't provide enough excitement. Taking on the best soldier in the galaxy probably wasn't a good alternative, however.

"Maybe I did something," Liara said this to herself, but Aethyta heard.

"Ya? Like what? Being too useful to his cause?" Aethyta snorted at her own words.

"I have no idea; do you have any ideas what the problem could be?" Liara turned her bright eyes to her other parent.

"Look kid. It's probably not the wisest idea to ask me about romance. After all, your mother did leave me," Aethyta was still in love with Benezia. It was easy to see, and Liara's heart panged for Aethyta. She didn't want Colt and her to end up in the same regretful boat.

"Benezia was indoctrinated," Liara placed her hand gently on Aethyta's shoulder.

"What?" Aethyta turned to look at Liara directly.

"She didn't willingly help Saren. Sovereign, the first documented Reaper, indoctrinated her. She wasn't herself at the time. Shepard had to kill her," Liara drew in a deep breathe at the memory. That was one of her most painful memories.

"Shepard killed her?" Aethyta asked, but she didn't seem surprised.

"Ya, she was going to kill me, but he shot her before that could happen," Liara had never talked about the incident before. Whenever she brought it up near Shepard, he would look very apologetic. He would try to tell her something, but got too choked up.

"So I guess he's useful for something," Aethyta's laugh was dry and humorless. "I'm glad you told me. For years I thought she had aided Saren... on her own terms. I didn't know if I could get over her being the enemy, but this will help," Aethyta wore a similar face to the one Shepard had after Kaiden's death, only Aethyta's pain was a hundred times stronger. "I think it would be a good idea to talk to Shepard," Aethyta smiled sadly at Liara

...

"What the hell are you doing?" Garrus asked, while standing above Colt.

"Oxygen angels," Colt replied, he was waving his arms, and feet while on the ground.

_"_Why?" Garrus was staring at him weirdly. He had been on public transportation before - this shouldn't have been the weirdest thing Garrus had seen.

"Just nice to know I can still breathe," in reality Colt had experienced one of the worst nightmares of his young lives. He had dreamt vividly about dying, specifically suffocating above Alchera. He was still shaking from the dream. About ten minutes ago he had stumbled out of his commander cave onto the crew deck. The urge to just simply enjoy oxygen was too much. So naturally he started doing oxygen angels.

"Alright, carry on," Garrus stepped around him, probably to engineering.

Other crew members were watching his oxygen angels from the Mess Hall tables. He decided that he should probably stop creeping out his crew, plus Rosebud decided to start licking his face. He clambered to his feet, and observed those watching him. Liara was amongst those in the crowd, and watched him keenly.

Everyone who had witnessed his oxygen angels was laughing, everyone except Liara. He felt so guilty about the whole situation. On one hand he would break her heart by dying long before she did, and then on the other hand, he would do the exact same thing by breaking up with her. He had been so stupid involving himself with anyone. No one deserved to be in love with someone who would probably die in some gruesome way.

He had to tell her this. To make her understand why he had to leave her. She was an awesome person, and deserved that. Colt approached her reluctantly, ignoring the people wondering why he did weird things constantly.

"Liara, you see...I," he had come to a road. Colt could tell her he was dying, he could explain how he wasn't willing to cause her more pain, he could beg her to take him back, and be incredibly selfish, or he could be a coward.

He almost went with being selfish. Colt wanted to be Liara's man friend, more than anything. He stopped himself though, he didn't want to hurt Liara anymore. Breaking up with her had ruined her day, maybe the week. Dying while they were together would be much worse. That awful recording had shown him that. He went the coward's route.

"Never mind," he muttered. Colt's hand went up, and rubbed the top of his head. A nervous habit that he had developed after the Alliance cut off his hair.

"Let's talk in my room," Liara murmured. She could probably feel how conflicted he was.


	52. Give It A Try

**Chapter Fifty: Give It A Try**

"What's happening?" Liara turned on Shepard the second the doors closed into her room. She was done going in circles with Colt. There was something up with him, and she was going to find out what it was.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Colt said these words defiantly, but he felt uneasy. Liara was close to something.

"You never wanted to break up with me. I can tell," she knocked on her head.

"I told you, I don't have those feelings for you anymore," he was lying. This was too easy with their connection.

"Cut the crap! I know you're lying, but...why?" Liara looked at him closely. Something in his eyes told her that something was very wrong.

"I'm gonna die," Colt whispered the words.

"What?!" Liara's breathe caught in her throat. Dread started coursing through her.

"Nothing is wrong right now," he said this very quickly (too quickly?), "but eventually something will do it. If I somehow magically live through the Reaper War, I'll still die hundreds of years before you," Shepard didn't make eye contact once.

Liara absolutely hated when Colt talked about himself dying. She didn't want to think about that, but it seemed like he tried to bring it up at every chance he got. She took a moment to curse whoever decided humans would live only a fraction of an asari's lifetime.

"That's not fair. Thinking that way hurts both of us. Just because something like that will eventually happen, doesn't mean that loving someone on the way is wrong. We've got to enjoy the time we have," Liara's voice cracked a little. She moved a bit closer to Colt.

"I found that recording of you," he wouldn't make eye contact, and his voice was more strained than she had ever heard it. However, she had no idea what he was talking about. Her silence must have told him as much. "It was while I was dead. You had looked, and sounded so... broken," Colt was still looking at the ground. He drew in a ragged breath. "You said you had tried to commit suicide. That was my fault, and I'm only going to do it again. It's not fair to make you feel like that again," Colt's long winded speech ended without so much as a glance towards Liara.

"What do you mean that you're going to do it again?" Liara narrowed her eyes at Shepard. This was the second time Shepard had alluded to the fact that something was wrong.

"I'll die a long time before you do. Then you'll do something like... well something drastic," he said these words so quietly that Liara barely caught them.

"It's worth it. We have right now. We're both okay at this moment. Wouldn't it be better to enjoy the time we have?" The words fell onto the silent room like a blanket. It seemed that everything was processing, and waiting for Colt's reply.

"No...Yes...I don't know. I never want you to feel that horrible again. On the other hand, I just don't think I can let you go," Colt glanced up, and looked her straight in the eye. His eyes were dark with concern, and uncertainty.

"Let's just enjoy the time that we have," Liara said simply.

"Okay," Colt said such a meager word with such meaning. She could tell that he still felt conflicted, but she could also feel the hope he had for them. The love (dare she say the L word?) he possessed for her was also apparent.

Liara stepped forward, and pulled Colt into a kiss. Seconds before their lips met, Joker's voice interrupted, "Commander, it looks like you're needed on the Citadel."

Colt's colorful word choice sent her blushing. Joker was getting really good at interrupting the important stuff. Shepard went off with a hug, and the promise of a better reunion later.

...

"He said to be back on the Normandy at 17:00, right?" Tali asked the assembled crew. She checked her omni-tool again. The entire twenty six man crew of the Normandy waited in the CIC.

"Yes, I don't think I remember Shepard ever getting on the Normandy late from shore leave," Dr. Chakwas spoke up. Interestingly enough, she seemed to be the most concerned out of everyone. That didn't come as a surprise to Liara, though. The two were always close. Colt and Liara were closer, but she knew how capable he was. Still, her concern rose with every passing minute.

"Uh... guys. Someone's at the airlock, but it isn't Shepard," Joker called back. A moment later the airlock opened and Rosebud walked in...alone.

The Varren trotted over to Liara and whined. The pink leash that Shepard always used was still tied to her pink collar (Shepard always took the time to make sure everything on the Varren matched). The orange C-Sec vest was still on her, and not a hair on her head seemed to be harmed. Something was seriously wrong though.

Shepard loved Rosebud to death, and wouldn't be caught dead without her. The only way that the two would be separated was if something had happened. Liara hadn't been overly concerned before. Everyone was late to the _Normandy _every once in awhile, but this was too unusual. Shepard was always on time, something that was probably drilled into him in the Alliance.

"We have to look for him," Liara spoke up for the first time. She saw some surprised looks; it wasn't well known that she and Shepard had started dating again.

"I agree, Shepard is never late," Garrus had been quite calm until Rosebud had showed up alone.

"Looks like you won't have to," Joker called back into the CIC.

"Shepard is at the airlock. Opening it now. Doctor Chakwas you might be needed," EDI's voice, and words startled Liara. A moment later Shepard stumbled into the _Normandy._

It was immediately apparent that something was very wrong. Shepard was dripping blood, and was having trouble walking. He looked up for a second, allowing everyone to see a very badly bruised face. "I was jumped," he moaned, "But they got it ten times worse." he smiled at his own words, revealing bloody teeth. Chakwas had been over at Shepard the moment he stepped in. She tried to help him along, but it was clear he would need more help.

Liara, and Garrus were the first to him, and gently took a hold of his shoulders. Shepard half walked and was half dragged to the elevator. Chakwas followed closely. The slow ride to the Crew Deck was made worse by the steady noise of dripping blood from Shepard.

Garrus and Liara helped him into the med bay. Liara started after him, but was headed off by a stern Chakwas. "I'm sure C-Sec has a recording of what happened. Check it out," Shepard said as he passed by Liara into the good doctor's domain.

He looked bad, but not horrible. His injuries would heal quickly. Liara had enough medical training to know as much. She tried not to think about all the complications that could happen. So instead she watched the tapes of what happened.

…

Shepard wasn't lying when he said his attackers got it ten times worse. He had been walking in a narrow alley reading a data pad, while Rosebud trotted by his side. Two guys followed behind him, and then four. Another four started walking towards him, and when he tried to pass, they remained still.

That was the point when Shepard had realized he was in trouble. She could read it on his face. The group was mixed. Two were turians, three were human, two vorcha, and one asari. They carried what looked like pieces of wood. It was obvious that they weren't professional, and were probably only interested in the hefty reward offered for Shepard.

The picture got blurry when Shepard made a clearing of biotics for Rosebud to get through. After she was away, Shepard dampened his biotics. The eight attackers were on him in an instant. For about ten seconds it was nothing but bits of wood smashing and impacting Shepard. Then an impressive biotic wave erupted and sent the attackers sprawling.

All eight were seriously injured; Liara could see blood coming out of their ears. She wouldn't tell Shepard about it, unless he asked. He would feel guilty about the situation, even though he had a right to defend himself. Shepard limped away from his moaning attackers, and started on the long journey back to the _Normandy._

The attack itself was bad. The implications behind it were worse. If a couple people short on money, with no previous military training, were being made to believe that they could take Commander Shepard down, there was no limit to the enemies Colt faced.


	53. Grissom Academy

**Chapter Fifty One: Grissom Academy **

Jack was an incredible biotic, one of the best humans with that unique skill. She had achieved this by going through hell, and tireless hours of practice. Shepard was an even better biotic. This skill was given to him through money, and Miranda Lawson's skill. He had not earned it, and was subsequently a more unstable biotic. Liara blew them both away. The asari people were naturally more gifted with biotics than almost any other species. Liara was better than any normal asari, though. She had attained this through an unbelievable amount of time with biotic masters as a child. She possessed Jack's discipline, but discarded her repetitive maneuvers. She had Shepard's raw power, and the finesse he lacked.

As the leader of an elite squad of soldiers, it was Commander Shepard's job to know these things. Several times he caught himself watching Liara's impressive biotic skills, and was struck each time by her prowess. He had been clearly showing off to Jack's kids, but Liara should've been the one doing it. Jack even nodded to Liara once, something Shepard had only gotten after getting everyone out alive on the Collector Base.

After a rather impressive fight involving the three biotics, Shepard decided to chat with Jack. After all, he hadn't seen her in over six months.

"So Jack... how's-" Shepard was interrupted by punch in the face. A very, _very _hard punch.

"Jack, it seems like you haven't given up on being a charmer," Liara said calmly, while assessing Shepard's face for damage.

"Never have given up on it, and never will," Jack turned her attention to Liara, while Shepard tried to reconstruct his jaw.

"What was that for?" Shepard rubbed his poor face.

"You were in jail too long," Jack said, like he had any control over the time he spent in there.

"It's not like-" Liara placed a gentle hand on his shoulder, and gave him a warning sign. "Whatever, we can talk after we get all these kids safe," Shepard sealed his helmet, and got ready to kill some Cerberus troops.

...

All the students were safe. Jack was okay, and Liara was good. So why did Shepard keep hearing someone? He might actually be legitimately going insane. No one else seemed to notice, but it was getting worse. He could hear faint screams, and cries. They were loading up on the shuttle, and this was Shepard's last chance to make sure everyone was out of Cerberus' hands.

"Hey Liara, do you hear something?" Shepard was the last one to get on the shuttle.

"No, not at all. Why?" Liara looked at him with curiosity. Shepard was not going insane. Someone needed help.

"EDI, can you hack into security cameras and see if someone still needs help?" Shepard scanned the large room they had just come out of.

"Commander Shepard, my brother isn't on the shuttle!" A panicked human girl grabbed his arm.

"What?! Where is he?" Shepard started pulling his helmet back on.

"Shepard, I have found the boy's location. He appears to be in a loft in the room to your right," EDI's voice captured his attention from the girl.

"The one that was infested with Cerberus troops?" Shepard knew the answer.

"Yes," EDI apparently didn't feel the need to elaborate further.

"Shepard, that's too dangerous. You have almost everyone, that's a success. Just go," Garrus' voice came over his comm. system this time.

"Please save him. Please save my brother," the boy's sister screamed and cried. Besides the poor girl, everyone was silent. It was like everything was waiting with bated breath for his decision. This time the answer was an easy one.

"I don't leave people behind," Shepard shoved his helmet on, and was off. People called after him, but no one followed. He would be quicker alone.

The room leading to his destination only had a few Cerberus troopers that were easily picked off. He slid to the door leading to the room with the boy in it, took a deep breath, and charged in.

His cybernetic legs took him to incredible speeds as he wove his way around Cerberus troopers. Occasionally he would shoot one, but there were too many to stop. His biotic barriers held up against the onslaught of bullets that rained upon him, but it was getting dicey towards the end of his trip.

Shepard wished he could say that he made an impressive entrance. He wished fireworks went off behind him, bullets blazing past him, and he wished a slight breeze had made him seem even more majestic. Instead, he stumbled into the loft and fell on his face. There was much laughter from the boy who was in the far corner.

After Shepard picked his face off the floor, he approached what appeared to be a twelve year-old. The kid was injured, blood was seeping from his leg. "I'm Commander Shepard, and I'm here to save you," he had said the words several times before, and it seemed to work. "What's your name?" Shepard asked.

"Alex," he replied. Of course his name was Alex. "Is my sister okay?" He looked up through tearful eyes.

"She's safe. Now it's your turn," Shepard kneeled down next to him, and started applying omni-gel.

"I can't walk out of here," the boy looked so ashamed.

"Don't worry. I'll carry you. It's called a fireman's carry. You have to hold onto me, okay?" Shepard finished up the omni-gel, and looked at Alex square in the face.

"I don't know if I can," a fresh batch of tears welled in his eyes.

"Hey, I have to hold onto you, too. I won't let go, if you won't," Shepard looked him in the eye.

"I won't let go," the Alex said, finality in his voice. Shepard was satisfied with the answer, and placed the child over his broad shoulders. Hopefully this child would have more luck than the other Alex.

They left the gloomy loft in a glow of blue. This fight was different, though. Very different.

Before, Shepard had surprise on his side. He had come bursting through the doors with guns firing, and letting his swift feet take him. There had been confusion, and blind firing. Now they were organized, and expecting the pair. In less than thirty seconds Shepard's shields had been completely depleted. Shepard's aim was off, since there was weight on his shoulders, and he only definitely hit four troopers.

Shepard didn't actually feel the bullet, just cold liquid on his thigh. The wound wasn't too bad, just a graze, but running was making it worse. Each step sent a wave of pain up his leg. Cerberus blocked their way out, and Shepard knew they wouldn't make it. It was similar to the calm feeling he got when he realized he would suffocate above Alchera - alone.

Blue swirled around Shepard's body as Alex made a shield. It would help, but not for long. This situation was disturbingly similar to a past incident involving another Alex, but that was on Elysium. Shepard prayed that Garrus or Liara would be able to take his place in the Reaper War.

"I'm here," Liara's voice rang clear in his comm. He turned to see her coming through the door. He could see the inferno in her eyes even from a distance. She wielded deadly biotics that made his earlier biotic use look like child's play. In a couple of minutes she had turned the Cerberus troopers into paste. "Thought you might have needed help," Liara gave him a victorious look. She had come around the corner of his hiding place, surprising him a little.

"I could've handled it on my own," Shepard grumbled, but gave Liara a thankful smile. She knew that without her help he would've been dead.

"Jack, and Sanders are waiting. Let's go," Liara turned, and headed for the door. He was a bit star stricken with her at the moment, and followed willingly.

When they arrived back to the shuttle, the girl gave Alex on of the biggest hugs he'd ever seen. "Thank God you're okay Harrison," Shepard almost stopped clambering onto the shuttle when he heard Harrison.

"Wait, what's your name again?" Shepard blinked at the pair.

"It's Harrison," his name wasn't Alex. Harrison and Alex were so far apart. Why did Shepard think his name was Alex?

"While you were gone, I gave a couple motivational speeches. Looks like I've learned the art of bullsh-," Jack glanced at Kahlee Sanders, "motivation from none other than Captain Courageous."

"Hey, what can I say? My lovely personality rubs off on everyone," this comment earned a few snickers from the teenagers.

Jack looked like she was about to strangle him, but Sanders stepped in. "Commander, based on what you've seen of these talented biotics, what do you think an appropriate place for them would be? On the front lines, or in a support role?"

Shepard remembered when he was the around seventeen, just like these kids. He was on the street, and his life was shitty. Then he remembered some of the terrible things he had seen over this brief war already. He knew that if he were seventeen he would not want to see those things. Jack was also a problem. She was attached to them, and she wouldn't ever work the right way again if one of them died. The galaxy did not win wars by putting kids on the front lines.

"Support. They'll do best in a support role," groans were already echoing through the shuttle before his sentence ended. The relief in Jack's eyes made it worthwhile.

"Now none of that. It's my job to know where people will do their best in. This is the right decision," Shepard said this with authority. Sanders looked like she agreed with him, too. She gave him a small smile. He would talk to her more later. If Anderson liked someone, they're a good person.

"So Jack, it seems like you've toned down your image," Shepard looked at her jacket, and her hair.

"Ya, well the Alliance doesn't let me run around with leather straps as a shirt. Plus it was cold on that godda-," Jack looked at Sanders again. "Silly training academy, so I grew hair," Jack's speech made Shepard seem like a horrible captain.

"Hey, I believe in a little freedom on the _Normandy," _Shepard didn't want people to think that he let people run wild on his ship.

"Ya, thanks for letting me be what I needed to be at the time," Jack seemed to realize that she said something emotional, and quickly changed her tune. "If any of you get the idea that I'll let you do what you want, you're horribly mistaken. I'm not as nice as Spectre Softy," Jack turned back onto her usual persona. Dammit, she was good at nicknames!

"Now I hope you've all learned how to be a better biotic," Shepard was about to make a joke about his own biotic skills, but he didn't. Liara and Jack deserved recognition. "From Doctor T'Soni here, and you're very own Jack. You're lucky to have witnessed two biotic masters," Shepard looked at the teenagers seriously. Liara gave him a smile that made his heart skip a beat.

"Hey Jack, what's with your hair?" Joker piped up over the intercom on the shuttle. Too many emotional things were being said, so somebody had to interrupt.

"You know what Joker? You can go fu," Jack stopped, "have fun. You useless piece of pilot meat," Jack said back.

"Aww, Shepard! Why can't we keep the crazy biotic?" Joker asked.

"Because we've already got our very own crazy biotic," Liara announced, and looked at Shepard suggestively.

It took him a moment to realize what had just happened, "Hey!"


	54. Old Friends

**Author's Note: Weird things were happening on fanfiction for last couple of days. It refused to send out notifications for a new chapter, so I didn't post until that started working again. **

**One more thing, there is a pretty inappropriate joke in the first section of this chapter. If you're offended by that sort of thing, then skip to the first three dots, and continue your journey.**

**Chapter Fifty Two: Old Friends**

Liara knew that in some past time Colt must've been a food critic. Not a chef, though, his cooking would've been fed to the Reapers as a way to defeat them. If only the damn things stopped to eat. However, his taste in food was second to none. If they went to a restaurant, he could often tell her what ingredients had been used. This is why watching him eat on the _Normandy _was such a comedic spectacle.

When he ate his meal replacer, his face contorted into something terrifying. He would sniff the gray paste, and take the most delicate, offended bite out of it. No one could ever call him a calm person, but watching his large hands gingerly holding the packet almost convinced Liara. Other crew members noticed this too. Especially Garrus, who would take time out of his own meal to watch Shepard eat, and laugh at his pained expressions.

This was the scene before they docked with the Citadel. Colt and Liara had decided to have lunch together. Garrus had joined them. Eventually the majority of the crew had gathered in the mess hall. For a reason Liara can't explain, Krogan mating came up.

Everyone had crowded in towards their commander, as he was telling a particularly interesting story. Liara, Garrus, Cortez, James, Traynor, Doctor Chakwas, and two ensigns had taken a drink.

"Krogan mating can be summarized like this. It involves lots of flailing, splashing, and occasional bouts of drowning," Shepard explained this calmly. Liara swore she heard dramatic music as all those people who were drinking spat it accidentally out. Time slowed down as the liquid made its way toward Shepard, and he tried feebly to stop it.

In moments Commander Shepard was dripping. Everyone went silent for a second before a roar of laughter erupted. "Ewwww, this is the _most _disgusting thing that's ever happened to me," Colt stood, and ran for the kitchen. He put his entire head under the kitchen sink, and let the water run over him. After a minute he returned to the table dripping water. "That was...just eww," Shepard grinned at her though, which looked even more childish through the dripping water.

"Well when you say something like that, what do you expect to happen?" Liara asked.

"Well, I say stuff like that all the time, so now I'm worried. I'm gonna have to talk to you guys while in a plastic bubble of some sort. Then I could just roll around excitedly, and bang into things. I could get in touch with my inner Boo when I let him in his hamster ball," Shepard was obviously excited about this idea. He kept gesturing his hands with his words.

"Hey I'm all for it. Then I would know if you're standing behind me, and making a creepy face," Traynor replied. Everyday, sometimes multiple times a day, Shepard would stand behind Traynor, and make a funny face until she noticed. Then he would pretend like he was inspecting his shoe, or the ceiling behind her if she turned around. Shepard thought it was the most hilarious thing ever.

"First of all, that's hilarious, and everyone knows it. Plus it trains you to notice if someone is watching you. You're combat training, Traynor," Shepard cracked up a little bit when he heard training, and Traynor together. "You never know if my crazed clone might try to take the _Normandy, _and the only thing that might save her is you, because you had that training."

"Commander, time to rip yourself away from your beloved crew. We're at the Citadel," Joker's words dripped with sarcasm. Colt didn't care about Joker's sarcasm, apparently, because he stood and practically ran to the elevator. He was still soaked.

…

Colt walked through the crowd people. The crowd was mostly reporters, but others had come to see the legendary _Normandy _crew make their way from their ship to the Citadel's interior. On either of Colt's side stood Liara and Garrus. This was informal, so he wore his casual outfit. It was black, with white sides, and padded shoulders that had a strap going under his arm. The sleeves were rolled up, and his pants were black cargos.

He waved enthusiastically at reporters, and occasionally posed for pictures. Every crew member, besides him, hated these greetings. Every time they arrived on the Citadel it was the same greeting.

Something _was_ different, though. A voice in the sea of voices was familiar. It wasn't a good reminder. Who could it be? The voice made Shepard's hair stand on end. Before he had been relaxed, but now every fiber of him waited for a fight. He had two modes, a mission mode, and normal mode. He was on mission mode.

Everything got ten times worse when he remembered who the voice belonged to.

…

Liara hadn't been particularly enjoying herself, but she enjoyed how much Colt was having fun. He was such a ham every time cameras were around. Today he was especially being funny. Not one camera got a serious picture of him. Days like these were a great morale booster to Liara, probably the whole crew.

Then something went wrong. Shepard had been lucid, and playful, and it changed in a second. He became tense, and his emotions were ones he usually had during fighting, not a pleasant walk to the Citadel's wards. The change wasn't so subtle that she only felt it, Garrus turned his attention to Shepard. Then Traynor, who was beside Garrus, turned towards Shepard, and the cycle continued until everyone was looking at Shepard intently.

He had been walking, even when tense, but he slowed. After a couple of feet, Shepard stopped completely. This halted the entire _Normandy _crew. Shepard was whipping his head around to look at the entire group of spectators. Blue flickered over his skin, but it was barely noticeable. The noisy space was now deathly silent.

Shepard kept looking around keenly, until his eyes settled on someone. His emotions had been defensive, and on the lookout, but they turned into hate. An emotion Liara had never felt Shepard have towards anyone, with the exception of the Reapers. It was clear hate, with nothing muddling the emotion.

The physical change was astonishing. His nostrils flared and beads of sweat gathered on his face. His whole body trembled. His breathing increased, but by far the most terrifying part was his expression.

Liara had never seen his face like that before. It was the face of the Shepard who lived on the streets, not Colt. Everyone noticed how dramatically his expression changed, and took an uncertain step backwards. The look in his eyes was raw danger.

He stepped from the people surrounding him. His omni-tool flared to life, and his omni-blade slid out. The reporters were going nuts at this point, and flashes went off with more frequency. The flashes lit up Shepard's face, and revealed the same hateful expression. His biotics had increased around his body, until the blue stood out in the artificial sunlight.

He was like a hurricane spinning towards its mark. His mark happened to be a section of the crowd without many people. The members of Shepard's ground crew had recovered quickly, and followed Shepard closely. He stopped at the barrier separating them from the crowd. Liara pulled up next to him, and noticed his blazing eyes focused on a specific person.

A low growl erupted from Shepard's chest. His voice was much deeper than it normally was when he said, "Serpent."

The other man with equal hatred in him rumbled, "Red." Then he turned, and disappeared into the crowd. Shepard watched him for a second, and then looked downwards. Liara followed his eyes. A knife was stabbed into the wooden barrier. A piece of paper was also shoved on the knife.

Shepard pulled a piece of cloth out of his pocket, delicately set it on the knife's handle, so he wouldn't get fingerprints all over it, and finally pulled the knife out. He grabbed the piece of paper, and looked at it. No one could see what it was, the exception being Shepard.

After a few seconds a low growl erupted again from him, but this came from deep within. He rubbed a hand over his head, a nervous tick. "Oh shit," he murmured.


	55. Save You

**Chapter Fifty Three: Save You**

_"We're almost out of creds, Shepard," Chakwas had called Shepard to the med bay. He wasn't expecting good news, but this was plain shocking. _

_"You mean we just went through my entire life savings just like that?" Shepard snapped his fingers. _

_"God...I'm sorry. I didn't know it was your life savings," Chakwas looked at him with sad eyes. _

_"I didn't have anything else, but I don't suppose there's any good news," he leaned against a table for support. Life was getting too overwhelming. _

_"No change, but that's good news. It means that you aren't doing worse, and that you can continue with missions," Chakwas tried smiling at him, but stopped when she looked at him. He didn't mean to look so down, but everything was just against him. _

_"I'll get the creds we need," Shepard vowed. A sudden fire had been ignited inside of him. He would get the creds he needed to live, and then he would defeat the Reapers. _

_... _

The photo in Shepard's hands was taken when he was on a free-lance mission a few nights ago. He didn't do anything illegal (he hoped); he was actually recruited by a high ranking Turian military official. Technically he could free lance missions as a Spectre, but the Alliance frowned upon that sort of thing. He wasn't exactly sure where he landed with the law. The Turian wanted an up-and-coming mercenary band's outpost raided. Shepard gladly accepted the job as it would hurt bad guys, and he would earn money for his treatments. That wasn't too troubling.

The worrisome part was that an old rival gang member knew about it, and could potentially leak the information. It would be a massive blow to the galaxy to learn that the person driving the war effort was terminally ill. Plus, the personal repercussions was a terrifying thought. Just the thought of Liara finding out was enough to make Shepard shudder.

It didn't help that the rival gang member wasn't just a Serpent, he was the one who had enough artistic ability to carve a serpent into Shepard's am. The serpent wasn't as noticeable on his arm, but it was still shocking to see the mutilated, twisted flesh. Plus, the asshole had left the same knife that had carved the image into his left bicep.

"Colt, you okay?" Liara stood behind him, and asked. She was searching his face for any emotion, but she would find nothing. He knew how to make his face blank. He could feel her presence trying to gauge his emotions, but he tried hard to conceal those.

"Fine," Shepard said curtly. For the first time he noticed the reporters everywhere, the flashes blinded him for a second. He didn't want to be here anymore. He wanted to be in his cabin far from the public's eye. "Let's go," Shepard shoved the picture and knife under his arm. Then he started off towards the elevator. He needed to get to Huerta Memorial, and he definitely needed to get away.

…

Colt was back on the _Normandy _getting ready extricate a female Krogan from the Salarians. He had given fifty thousand dollars to a specialist making his medicine. The fifty thousand had come from the high ranking Turian official, but it would only be enough for a week's worth of treatments.

The happy news was that Wrex was aboard the _Normandy_, and as awesome as ever. Their first conversation had been Wrex complaining about not having a window where he was stationed, and asking why Liara had one. Then Shepard told him that if Wrex ever became his girlfriend, he would get a window too. Their first conversation was a blast from the past. They always had an easy back and forth banter.

He felt bad about snapping at Liara earlier, so he decided to take her on the mission. However, he was going to talk to her first.

"Hey," Shepard said after he entered Liara's room without her noticing.

"Oh hey, you okay?" Liara turned her pretty blue eyes from her screen to him.

"No, not really," Shepard sat heavily down on a chair next to Liara. She didn't say a word. "That guy was a rival gang member. His name is Vincent, and he's a very nasty person. Caught Alex and I when we just got into the Reds. We didn't know the boundaries, and wandered on to Serpent territory. Let Alex go on account he was only nine, but he took me to an abandoned warehouse," Colt drew in a ragged breath. Liara was looking at him intensely, worry etched on her features.

"There were five, and they were able to tie me to an old dentist's chair. Then he took this knife," he pulled out the knife the picture was attached to. "And carved a serpent into my arm. I bled so much I passed out. I would've died all alone in a dirty, old warehouse. Tied to a dentist chair, but another Red found me," he was staring at his hands, caught in the memories. It was one of the most terrifying things that had ever happened to him.

"Colt, you're okay now. He can't do something like that again," Liara said gently.

"He found me though, and he hates me. That's a dangerous combination," Colt looked at the grotesque picture of the serpent on his arm. "But I hate him, too. So there's power in that," Colt looked up sharply as he tensed with anger.

"That seems like a flawed way of thinking," she responded.

"Maybe, but it's how I survived for two years on the streets. I was fueled by hate, rage, and Red Sand," he said. He stood, and started pacing. "Anyways, I just wanted to tell you that's what happened," Colt had to leave the room. It was too painful to stay.

"I'm hoping that you'll come on the Sur' Kesh mission," he asked on his way out.

"Of course I will," Liara told him with the same gentleness. Her calm helped quench the fire in his soul, but it was still there. It wasn't the good fire he had, the Reaper ass-kicking fire. It was the same fire that had made him a very capable member of the Tenth Street Reds.

...

"We don't want the Krogan in our facility. You may go, Commander. Plus the asari, and other human, but not him," a small Salarian had to look up to see Shepard, but the little thing was intimidating.

"Why?" Shepard crossed his arms, and looked down at him.

"We don't want some angry Krogan running around the facility. We have standards, Commander," Shepard could tell he wasn't going to budge on his decision.

"Wrex, sorry buddy," Shepard turned towards the massive Krogan, who was looking at the salarian like he was dinner.

"I'm going down there, and you can't stop me," Wrex started forward with a dangerous intensity.

"Think! Going down there will piss the salarians off, and maybe cause a conflict between Krogans and salarians. It's not worth doing that over something I can easily do," Shepard knew his words made sense to Wrex. The big guy glanced over to the waiting guards and walked towards them.

"Salarian is a delicacy, so crunching," Wrex told the guards after he positioned himself comfortably. He would stay there for the duration of the mission.

…

"Kirrahe!" Shepard yelled when he saw the inspirational salarian.

"Commander Shepard, I haven't seen you in almost four years. Heard you died," Kirrahe greeted. Shepard was very fond of the salarian, and impressed with his motivational speeches.

"So they say," Shepard loved his mind games.

"But...you were dead. Resurrected," Kirrahe blinked curiously.

"Maybe," Shepard answered, his eyes narrowed. "Anyways, how goes it?" Shepard asked.

"Still in STG, and I see that Liara is still on the _Normandy,_" he nodded enthusiastically towards her. "War has a way of bringing people together," Kirrahe said warmly. Shepard would've gladly talked to him for awhile longer, but alarms started going off.

"What's that?" Shepard asked no one in particular.

He got an answer from a youngish salarian, "Perimeter breach, sir."

"Any idea who it is?" Shepard asked while putting his helmet on, and checking his gun.

"It appears to be a former employer of yours," the salarian said. "Cerberus," he said with finality.

"Well, we better get moving," Shepard jogged towards the elevator that would take them to the lower levels where the Krogan waited.

...

There was a bomb in the elevator. It took Shepard a couple seconds to recognize the threat. Not a second too soon Shepard threw up a barrier, then it detonated. A massive explosion bent the metal in the elevator, and left it black. His barrier had stopped anyone from getting hurt, but their only way of movement had been destroyed.

"What do we do?" Shepard turned to consult Liara and James.

"This can't be the only exit," Liara said while scrutinizing the crater. "Top military places like this would have a way of getting out. Elevators break down sometimes, so they wouldn't want a bunch of scientists stuck," Liara turned her intelligent gaze back to him.

"Your friend is right, there's an emergency ladder over there," some scientist told them.

"Right again, Doctor. Remind me to give you an award or something," Shepard grinned at her.

"Shepard!" Liara hissed; she was blushing profusely. He usually didn't mention how impressed he was with her during missions. He didn't want the other person he took with him to get jealous. He couldn't pass up the opportunity to make her blush, however. He loved making her blush.

...

"No way!" Shepard's eyes were being jerks. They told him that Mordin was standing in front of him.

"Had to help. Female Krogan shouldn't be subjected to this treatment. Belongs with her people, helping them. Staying here would've killed her, like the rest," Mordin eyes shined with greeting. Hopefully he was as excited to see his former captain.

"The rest?" Shepard glanced at the other pods, only one had a Krogan.

"Had ten here, they died. A damn shame," Mordin looked towards the Krogan regretfully.

Shepard moved towards the Krogan's pod. He did it purely on impulse. "Hello, I'm Commander Shepard. My team and I are going to save you. Just hold on," Shepard had no idea if she could hear him, but the fire in her eyes calmed a little bit.

He walked back towards the group. "Let's get moving. Cerberus is trying to get her too. Do you have a plan?" Shepard asked.

"I do, but it involves a lot of fighting on your part," Morin said to him.

"Good," seeing a person kept like an animal made Shepard's blood boil.

…

Cerberus was pounding their position. It wasn't so much that they were talented, there was just a ton of them. It didn't help that everyone was yelling at him. Wrex was yelling at him to save the female, Mordin was yelling at him to hurry, and his omni-tool bleeped telling him the Krogan's health.

Shepard had it with this fight. He would end this. Now.

He stepped from cover with his barriers increasing. Every shot he fired from his gun hit someone. Several headshots made Cerberus trooper's heads explode in interesting ways. His rally allowed James and Liara to move up. Their push continued until only a few enemies were forced against the back wall of the level. Shepard let his team kill the stragglers while he went to the female Krogan.

He opened the pod, expecting to see very weakened Krogan. Instead he saw flashing eyes, before a thousand pounds knocked him to the ground. "You saved me for your own selfish gains. I can't trust you, or anyone," the Krogan kneeled over him. She had a gun in her right hand, but it was pointed in a different direction.

"Shepard!" Liara, and James had finished up with Cerberus, only to find their commander pinned by an angry Krogan.

"Stand down!" He could see biotics flaring, and guns raising towards the Krogan. She was just terrified and needed to be shown that she was safe. "You're right, but only partially. I did save you because I needed support from the Krogan. Wrex, the Krogan leader, demanded you be returned to your people before he helped me," Shepard could tell his words weren't helping his case at all.

"That's only part of it. One way or another I didn't have to save you. I could've persuaded Wrex to allow me to do something else. I could've ignored his bargain completely, and sided with the salarains. The point is-I didn't because you needed help. I will never turn my back on anyone who needs help. Everyone deserves to be with their people, somewhere happy. I care about you, and not just because you're crucial to the war," Shepard shut his mouth. If she thought he was full of it, then he deserved to die.

She stared at him for a long time, probably trying to see if he was lying. Her eyes softened, and she nodded. "You're genuine," she said.

"If I didn't think that, I wouldn't have said it," Shepard responded. She stood up from the pin she had him in. Then she extended her arm towards him. He took her hand and was pulled up.

She looked Shepard over for a second, and then pulled him into a hug. The site of a Krogan hugging a human must have been comical, but it signified something deeper. Maybe there was a chance for the galaxy to get along. "Thank you for saving me. You're the only person who's cared about _me_ in a very long time, and you don't even know my name," she laughed at the last part, and then released him from the hug.


	56. In Hot Water

**Chapter Fifty Four: In Hot Water**

Today was the day the _Normandy _crew was having a small ceremony on the Citadel. It wasn't just the _Normandy _- it consisted of all the admirals in the Alliance. They were having a war meeting on the Citadel, and someone decided to make it a three-ring circus. Shepard was an especially good ringleader, so he was invited. Plus, he was a major player in the fight, and served as motivation to the battle-weary admirals. The crew came along because wherever Shepard went, his crew went.

Shepard hoped this publicity stunt went better than the last one in which he had been threatened. It wasn't just any threat either, he had been a rival gang member. He didn't like when the past and present collided. Not because of the people he had known, but of the person he had been.

A requirement for this meeting was formal wear. Currently everyone was desperately trying to get into itchy formal wear. He hadn't seen Turian formal wear, but he hoped it involved feathers.

…

Shepard was allowed to walk in front of the admirals. It wasn't because he was the highest ranking; it was because most of the admirals detested media attention. His mom was amongst the admirals who hated the attention. Shepard had received word that she was safe almost exactly one day ago. They planned to have lunch after this charade. He had only recently heard from her, because he didn't want to ask anyone. It was better to think she was okay, than to know she wasn't. Nobody thought to tell him either.

They walked in pairs through a corridor of people and media. It was very similar to the situation where he had been threatened. He had been told that the security was very good, however. Liara was the person next to him, with her arm looped around his.

"Something terrifying is happening between those two," Shepard whispered in Liara's ear. He gestured to Admiral Hannah Shepard and Admiral Hackett. They were the two in their row, and they were talking quietly. It wasn't serious talking either - they were laughing. The thought of having Hackett as 'Dad' was scary.

"Well, maybe they're just good friends," Liara turned a little to watch them. Shepard waved at the crowd, and held a few poses for the media. "Soooo, you might have to call Hackett 'Daddy'. They seem really entranced by each other," Liara turned back to Colt, and laughed.

"Like me around you, or like Gabby and Ken?" Colt couldn't bring himself to look.

"Not quite as awkward, and funny as you get. Yet not as casual as Gabby and Ken. So somewhere in the middle," Liara looked him in the eye. It really wasn't fair how she could make him so useless with just one look. His knees felt a little weak.

"I'm not that bad," Colt tried to save himself. He turned his attention back to the crowd and threw out a few jokes.

"You're doing it right now," Liara whispered in his ear. He turned to see her blushing.

He was going to turn her violet, "Well, you're just too damn smart and pretty for me to ignore you." His plan worked, and Liara turned colors. He laughed, and said, "I win."

He was distracted from Liara when a startling message entered his ear. Shepard had his comm. system hooked to the event's security. "We have a suspicious figure moving quickly through the crowd," a deep voice said. The banter had been back and forth the whole time, but this caught Shepard's attention.

"Where is he?" Shepard lifted his hand to his ear, and replied.

"Commander Shepard, I can assure you that the situation is under control," the same deep voice replied.

Shepard ignored the man's words, "Who is this person heading towards?"

"He's heading toward Admiral Hackett, sir," the deep voice gave up arguing with him.

"What?! Someone get him right now!" Shepard was inching along the path, holding the entire procession up. He was looking back towards Hackett's location.

"Rodriguez! Get him!" The deep voice yelled this. The urgency in his voice told Shepard that he was getting dangerously close to Hackett. The time to let security get this guy was up, it was Shepard's turn now.

"OUT OF THE WAY!" Shepard turned fully around and yelled at the people who stood between him and Hackett. He summoned his biotics, and in a second he was transported next to Hackett via biotic charge.

Shepard summoned the rest of his energy and put it into a barrier. A massive blue shield grew behind him, and protected those behind him. A man ran up to the barrier, and threw a pot. His aim was awful, because Shepard didn't feel a thing. He threw a punch from his left arm, and knocked the guy down. In seconds security was all over the guy, so Shepard let the shield go.

A strange sensation started affecting Shepard's right side. It was slight pain, and just general numbness. In an instant he realized that he couldn't feel his right arm. Moving it proved futile- nothing happened. Something very bad had occurred. Shepard was scared to look at his right side.

People called to him. He could pick up his mother's voice, Liara's, Garrus', and Hackett's. Shepard was so far off though, everything was disconnected. Finally, he looked towards his right side.

The skin was black, and leathery. Parts of it were burned off so much that you could see muscles, and wiring. His dress blues were burned off in patches and just generally tattered. Oddly enough, his first concern was his dress blues. Green code flickered over his skin, something that had never happened. Blood and clear liquid was running down his arm. A small puddle had already formed on the floor directly under his arm.

Someone touched his left side. That was the precise moment Shepard knew he was going into shock, and needed help quickly. He didn't feel any pain, though. None at all. Someone said something to him. Faces were everywhere, but he couldn't make anyone out. "I think I need to go to the hospital," Shepard told anyone.

…

Liara watched Shepard's face turn from playful to worry. He was walking quite slowly, and kept turning to look at Hackett. He was also yelling at someone over his communicator. At one point he unhooked his arm and hers. The conversation got even louder, until Shepard finally turned around. He screamed at the people behind them to move. The he smacked his hands together, and was carried by a biotic charge.

He appeared next to Hackett in less than a blink of an eye. A massive biotic barrier separated him from the rest of the _Normandy _crew and the admirals. It must have been at least ten feet high, and thirty feet wide. An amazing biotic feat.

Then Liara saw what the problem was, a man was rushing towards Shepard with some sort of canister in his hand. Paralyzing fear for Shepard took over her body. The man tossed what looked like water onto Shepard. Liara watched in horror as Shepard's skin started to turn black, and steam. She screamed his first name and ran past everyone.

Shepard threw a tremendous punch that snapped the guy's head back. He fell towards the floor, before the security team tackled him. Shepard kept his head down, and stared at the floor. "Colt... are you...okay?" Liara tried to say the words without choking up. She gently touched his left arm.

Nothing happened, Shepard continued to stare at the floor. At this point everyone was around him. Chakwas was at the front, already inspecting his damaged arm. His mother was begging him to answer if he was okay. Garrus was wondering what happened, probably not aware how seriously burned Shepard was.

Finally, Shepard turned very slowly to face everyone. He looked at the people around him with a shocked face. "I think I need to go to the hospital," Shepard said to the crowd. In seconds the color drained out of his face. Liara had never seen anyone so pale. Then he collapsed.

Liara caught him with her biotics, and lowered him down gently. Chakwas was by his side in an instant. "He's going into shock! Call Heurta Hospital now!" Chakwas was already connecting her omni-tool to him. It's orange glow cast an eerie glow Shepard's unconsciousness face. The omni-tool projected his heartbeat.

His heartbeat was quick and shallow. Liara didn't register how bad that was; instead she only saw green. Throughout the whole ordeal Shepard glowed green. Numbers flashed through his skin, and code repeated. Now the green was dimming, and Chakwas' omni-tool was bleeping. Liara stood off to their left, watching in some sort of trance. They were in the middle of the walkway and the crowd was still on the sides. C-Sec was pushing them back and urging them to go back home.

"Where are those doctors?!" Chakwas shouted. She was preparing some type of shot.

"They should be here in a couple of minutes," Traynor answered.

"Shit," Chakwas swore. Chakwas never cursed, ever.

Her omni-tool chirped, and beeped with more urgency. The heartbeats were getting slower, and shallower. "Dammit Colt," Chakwas started pumping his chest.

His heart hadn't completely ceased to work, but the beats were few and far between. The green code that had flitted across his skin dimmed, and then went out. "Where are they?! He's not breathing," Chakwas said almost to herself.

Suddenly, green code started traveling over his skin again. It was almost blinding. The omni-tool ceased to give off warning messages when a normal heartbeat registered on it. It was followed by more regular heartbeats. Shepard face remained still for a moment, before his eyes flew open. He turned on his left side, and started gasping for air.

"Shepard, don't move too much. You've been injured," Chakwas told him while he was still gasping for breath.

"I'm so cold," he managed to choke out.

"Commander, we're just going to take you to the hospital," a Turian knelt beside his side. Three more moved around Colt. As gently as they could, they lifted him into a stretcher. It took them about twenty seconds to put oxygen on his face and stabilize his body.

Liara watched with dull eyes as the medical hover car took Colt Shepard to Heurta.


	57. Reliable Input

**Author's Note: I waited an entire week to publish this chapter, because all last week was finals for me. Sorry for the wait, but I should be posting often, and regularly during my summer break. **

**Chapter Fifty Five: Reliable Input**

"Hey guys," Colt cheerfully greeted the crew that filed into his room. It was pretty small, but Huerta could barely get a room for him. So Liara was thankful they got something. He was hooked up to several machines, and had three IVs in his right arm.

Liara had brought food, since Shepard was _always _eating, and hospital food was a crime. That was the only coherent thing she had done since the attack on Shepard. She had ended up back on the _Normandy _magically, or at least she didn't remember anyone taking her there. Then she remembered sitting on her bed and looking at nothing. It seemed like years before she was taken to Huerta.

"How bad?" Garrus asked, almost as cheerfully. Was no one present a day ago when Colt had almost died of shock? Liara hated when Colt went around an injury like it was nothing.

"Ehh, I'll live," Colt rolled up his sleeve, and showed off his burn. It was black, twisted, and generally grotesque. The burn covered most of his right arm, and part of his neck. An orange glow could be seen underneath, a startling reminder that Shepard was mostly cybernetic.

"So we'll stay on the Citadel for a week while you recuperate," Chakwas told Colt, but it was probably to benefit the others in the room.

Colt stared at her for a second, and then started laughing. "I'm not leaving in a week," he replied matter of factly. Everyone remained silent. Liara didn't know what he meant, but she didn't really care. Bliss had replaced her every emotion; she was utterly relieved that Shepard was mostly okay.

Traynor dared to ask, "So when are you leaving?"

"Today," Colt said this the same way. Like it was already set in stone. This caught Liara's attention. Worry started through her again at the thought of Shepard rejecting needed medical attention. Awful scenarios ending in her lover's death started playing in her mind.

If Chakwas had been drinking anything, she would've surely spit it out. Her eyes got huge and her eyebrows shot up her forehead. "What?!"

"I've got Reapers to fight, and a war to win. I'm certainly not staying in a hospital while millions die," he replied calmly. Shepard had no idea what he did to people. He made even the most soulless care about him. He didn't comprehend how he made people worry about him non-stop.

"No, you have to let your arm heal. How are you gonna be useful if one of your arms is a burned mess?" Chakwas folded her arms, preparing for an argument with Shepard. His stubbornness was a quality that made him invaluable in the Reaper fight.

"I can use it. They only want to keep me here for cosmetic purposes. They already told me that everything is healed. My damaged muscles are healed entirely, and the cybernetics repaired themselves. My arm doesn't have to look pretty to fight Reapers," Shepard replied evenly. He looked at Chakwas for a second, and then started taking out IVs.

Liara felt a familiar embarrassment when alarms started going off, and an army of medical personnel charged into the already cramped room. Shepard was standing, and pulling off the remaining wires. She could tell the rest of the crew felt flustered and unsure.

"Sir, please lay back down. Our charts indicate that you're not scheduled to leave for another week," the doctor paused for a few seconds, but when it was clear Shepard wasn't going to stop, he continued. "Commander, stop this instant!"

This got Shepard's attention, so he turned to the doctor. "Look I know I'm supposed to stay another week, but I can't. I simply can't. I've been told that everything is functional, and I'm scheduled to have some procedures to make sure my arm doesn't look like a burned sausage. The thing is I don't care; the Reapers don't care if my arm looks crappy, so neither do I. Besides, I'm here a lot so I can get it checked often," Shepard explained rather convincingly. Liara wasn't quite sure by what he meant when he said he came to Huerta a lot. Probably to visit Ashley.

The two stared at each other for a few seconds, and then the doctor nodded. The medical staff retreated without another word and left Shepard alone with his crew. "I'll meet you guys on the _Normandy_, I need to visit Ashley. I'll be quick, I need to get ready for my interview anyways," Shepard turned slightly to them and then left.

...

"Hello, I'd like to welcome you all to_ Reliable Input_. Today our guest is Commander Shepard, Blitz Hero, Savior of the Citadel, Collector Killer, and the soldier leading the fight against the Reapers," Liara had turned on the huge vid screen just in time to get the opening remarks of the show Shepard was appearing on. They were grounded on the Citadel, so every single member of the _Normandy _was watching Shepard on the community vid screen in the Mess Hall. Liara was slightly concerned since this was being televised live, and Colt had a terrible habit of speaking before thinking.

"So tell me Commander, how does it feel to be the face of the Alliance?" The rather enthusiastic reporter asked.

"Well someone's got to do it, and I happen to have the least scarred-up face. Plus, they tell me I look like the stereotypical Alliance guy, so they keep throwing up my face everywhere," Shepard shrugged casually.

"So, do you like it?" She asked.

"Let's see, billions of people know who I am, I get a marriage proposal through email almost every day, and every boy aged six to sixty wants to be me. So ya, I guess you could say I hate it," Shepard said these words with a smile. With anyone else it would've come off as arrogant and cocky. Shepard made it seem enduring, almost like a child getting an award.

"So tell me honestly Commander, what are the galaxy's odds against the Reapers?" The reporter asked intently.

"That's an easy one- the Reapers are gonna regret ever thinking they could destroy us. Saying there is a chance the Reapers are gonna win is a mistake. We are the odds-on favorite, and I wouldn't put my bet on the other guy. The Reapers have zero chance of winning," the question lit a victorious fire in his eyes. Every word was oozing with the truth, and anyone watching would be convinced that winning was the only thing the galaxy could do in the situation.

"Given what you know now, why do you think the Reapers decided to invade?" She questioned.

"I honestly have no idea why they invaded. It could be a number of reasons such as resources. The point is that they did invade, and we need the everyone to help stop them," again he said this with such confidence that it was almost unbelievable someone thought they'd lose.

"So the people want to know why the Alliance hasn't promoted you. It's been what? Four years since your promotion to Commander? Is saving the world multiple times not good enough for the Alliance?" Liara had often wondered about this very question.

"They probably haven't promoted me, because Commander Shepard has a certain ring to it," Shepard offered, and laughed. Liara could feel how uncomfortable he was with the question, though.

"So I understand that you have a blue friend," The damn reporter had the most smug face Liara had ever seen. Everyone in the Mess Hall turned towards her, and she could feel her blood rushing to her face.

"Indeed I do. Doctor Liara T'Soni to be precise, an archeologist. She's pretty much Indiana Jones, but better. We've been together for four or five years now. It's pretty awesome flying around the galaxy kicking butt with my girlfriend. I certainly enjoy it, but I suppose I get on her nerves occasionally," he shrugged at that, "I've had the time of my life." Shepard spoke about her like every girl wanted to be spoken about. It wasn't so much the words (which were very sweet), but the way he said it. He said it like he loved her.

"You've certainly had a colorful past, care to share anything?" This reporter said this with a slight challenge. This was a dangerous road, even if Liara was asking the same question.

Shepard, however, didn't skip a beat. He certainly knew how to handle interviews. "I'm still thankful to the Alliance for getting me out of a bad situation. I was going nowhere fast, and I give them the credit for saving me. Especially Admiral Anderson, who saw more than just a thug living on New York's streets." Liara knew that Shepard and Anderson were friends, but she didn't know Anderson knew him before his Alliance service. She assumed that they met on the _Normandy, _or even a common ship assignment before that.

"Commander, how do you stay so grounded with all this attention? Quite frankly, you seem very likable, and a lot of people in your situation would let all this excitement go to their head," she smiled at Shepard kindly, and made Liara feel the anger of jealousy.

"Wait, Shepard doesn't let his ego get big?" Garrus asked the Mess. Liara had to laugh at the confusion in Garrus' voice.

"Whenever I start getting on my high horse, several things happen. First my crew tells me that I need to stop, or I'm going out the airlock," this got a few laughs from the people off camera. "Second, I think about all the people that have given more than me. That have done more than I can ever hope to do, and I stop. In the end I'm just another person who carries around a gun, nothing more," Shepard said cooly. He didn't understand that he _was _different. Liara had never met anyone so hopeful, and magnetizing, in her whole life. He had this expectation about people - he expected them to be their best. He believed in everyone, he trusted easily, and he loved the billions making up the galaxy. He had a childlike hope about the galaxy.

"What's next for you Commander?" She asked.

"Killing the Reapers," he answered confidently.

...

Colt sat on the edge of his bed, patiently waiting for Doctor Chakwas. Minutes earlier, he had successfully slipped through his crew without raising alarm. Normally he wouldn't be concerned about mingling with his crew, but his face was a mess. On his way back from his interview he had found a way to earn creds.

A hiss at the door alerted him to Chakwas' presence. "So will this stuff also help with the bruising?" he asked; she was already preparing his arm for one of his dreadful shots.

"It should get better by morning," she answered evenly. By far the worst part of the shot was the lead up. Shepard almost lost his mind every time he felt a sterile wipe prepare the injection site. "What happened anyways?" Chakwas asked, before injecting him.

"Well," he let out a sigh he didn't know he was holding, "I found out about a little fighting ring, and seeing as we need more creds, I fought a couple rounds. Won every time, but a couple guys were decent, and got in a few blows."

"Do you really think you should be fighting like that? What if you get so beaten up that you can't even function? What if you can't slip by the crew so easily next time? You have to think before you do these things!" Chakwas was yelling in his face. The change in her demeanor shocked and scared the crap out of him.

"I'm sorry? I was just thinking that we needed creds, and I'm good at fighting... Soo, ya I thought that would be a relatively easy way to get creds. Plus, I'm an elite soldier, so if some street thug can beat me up so bad I can't function, I deserve it. The crew, well I don't know. Let's just hope I can slip by them. I know it was a bad decision, but we're desperate. I'm sorry," Colt explained with as much diplomacy as possible.

"I know, and I'm sorry too. I just... get worried," Chakwas answered, but she refused to look at him.

"Don't worry, Doc. We'll make it through," Colt gave her a reassuring pat. He didn't sound convincing, even to himself.

"You'll make it through this. The Reapers, the cybernetics, everything," Chakwas told him. She made her words seem more sincere with an earnest smile. Colt believed her sincerity, but couldn't bring himself to believe her words.


	58. Get the Lamb

**Author's Note: I would just like to remind everyone that reviews are a fanfic writer's BFF. **

**Chapter Fifty Six: Get the Lamb**

"Commander, you're needed in the CIC," EDI's startled Shepard a little as he had been sitting alone in his room for hours. Doing fun things like going through causality reports.

"I'll be down right away," he replied, standing. He whistled to Rosebud and went to the elevator. In truth he just wanted to left alone for a little. He wasn't sleeping very well, and would probably say something he would regret later. Hopefully, this wouldn't be a waste.

"There you are, Commander. Reynolds intercepted something that you'll want to hear," Traynor met him and Rosebud at the elevator.

"Here you go sir," Ensign Reynolds handed him a pair of headphones. "I was combing through some encrypted transmissions, and happened across this," she typed at her console, and a buzzing noise started in Shepard's ears.

A very deep and distorted voice started speaking, "Get him, I don't care what you have to do."

"Getting Commander Shepard is not a simple task. He is an elite Alliance officer, and not to mention a Spectre. Plus he's surrounded by more elite soldiers," an equally deep, and distorted voice responded.

"I'll pay you a handsome sum," the first voice offered.

"I'm not concerned about creds. You said that only his blood will stop the Reapers. I'll get him for our church - consider it free," the second voice said. Before, Shepard was not overly concerned, and maybe slightly amused. Crazy people were always plotting to capture him. This was worse, though. It sounded like the same group that put out a bounty on him. The hefty sum had persuaded a few to try and capture him. Unfortunately for them, Shepard was even better than people said he was.

"This will bring great glory to you. The Reapers are only invading because they want him. When he's handed over, they'll leave. The knife needs a lamb," the second voice explained to his apparent follower.

Shepard was very concerned about the situation. Usually these groups stopped trying to get him in a few days when they realized how difficult the task would be. This group had been openly offering awards for him for a little more than a week. A very unusual situation, and a very deadly one. He made it a point to have almost no security in public areas as he wanted to make people feel welcome towards him. There was a downside to that though - he was an easy target, especially when he wandered around alone.

Shepard pulled off his headphones, and turned to the analyst, "Great job, Reynolds. Try, and find where this signal came from. If you can't it's all good, I don't think it's a particularly demanding threat." He lied; it was a very worrisome threat. Shepard didn't like the sound of being a sacrifice.

…

"This looks... lovely," Liara muttered, while looking around the bar. Colt laughed at her reluctance. Sure the bar was a shithole, but little behind-the-scene bars like this were fun. He could feel that the rest of his friends felt the same way Liara did. The only exception was Garrus, who probably knew how awesome these places could be.

"Oh, it's awesome. Come here every shore leave. The people are something else," Colt explained, before turning to the massive Krogan walking towards the group.

"I thought I told you that you're not allowed here," the Krogan growled. Shepard's group stepped back nervously.

"Stubby!" Colt yelled, and shook the Krogan's hand/ paw thing. It was actually a mechanical hand; his real one lost in an adventure to woo an asari.

"We were wondering when you'd be back, and I see you brought your friends. Plus you brought my favorite Varren!" Stubby petted Rosebud and got a massive lick in return. He did that Krogan chuckle and roared, "Come on, the bar isn't going to drain itself!" The Krogan's enthusiasm for drinking was impressive.

The whole group included Colt, Liara, Garrus, Chakwas, James, Traynor, Cortez, a couple of ensigns, and Joker. So the whole bar was filled with Colt's friends and drinking buddies. "How come I've never seen your face around here?" Colt asked the new bartender. He knew every single face that came to this bar.

"Just got hired, first day in fact," the human replied.

"Well, I'll take Ryncol then," Colt ordered. He hadn't told anyone about his inability to get drunk. Sure he could get buzzed and fall asleep, but he couldn't get truly drunk. His order was unusual for a human, and caused everyone to look at him oddly.

"Shepard here is a legend. Can drown down more alcohol than I've ever seen anyone do," Stubby patted Colt's back with bone crushing force. This earned a few snickers. Liara and Chakwas were apparently not pleased by his legend status, because they gave him the stink eye.

"Thanks Stubby, tell them how you lost your hand," Colt choked out.

"Oh ya... So it all started when I saw this pretty asari. See, everyone likes asari," Stubby started off, making Liara turn violet. Colt gave her a pat on the shoulder, and then a smile to confirm that _he _only liked one asari. Stubby continued, "There was this other Krogan, and that wasn't okay with me..."

Colt listened to his hilarious story, and started in on his shots. Two shots in, Colt noticed that something was off. His third shot had something fizzing at the bottom. It was barely there, but Colt's trained eye caught it. In an instant he realized what was happening. The 'new' bartender was trying to poison him.

He must be affiliated with his old gang rivals, or maybe it was someone from that religious group. At the moment he didn't really care. These sort people never tried something like this alone. Somewhere in the bar, at least two other people were in on it. They would be the backup in case the plan went wrong, and they would be armed. He needed to evacuate the bar before a shoot- out occurred.

Shepard slowly stood up from his chair and got on top of the counter. His friends were all paying attention to Stubby, but their chatter stopped. They all looked at Shepard with amusement; they all clearly thought he was drunk. If they were observant they would've noticed that Shepard had to be on duty tomorrow, and he would never dream of getting drunk before that.

He found his loud voice, and announced, "Ladies, and gentleman it would be a great idea if you all left. Right now!" He was met with laughter, and general disinterest. His crew however was looking at him with real concern. He had to do something more shocking to get everyone to evacuate.

"Ladies and gentlemen! If you want to get out alive, I would recommend listening to the Spectre. I order everyone to evacuate, _now,_" Shepard's words finally reached the bar patrons, and one-by-one they left. He suspected that his authoritative voice had done the job. Only a few people remained, who Shepard suspected where the backup.

"Sir, I can assure you that nothing is wrong," the bartender looked at him with worry. This guy was a great actor. Shepard jumped down from the bar, and turned towards him.

"Next time let the poison dissolve, you asshole," Shepard yelled at him. Anger pulsed through Shepard until he could no longer control himself. He picked up a shot glass, and slammed it into the guy's head. Blood immediately started flowing, and the guy went down. He hit his head on the bar while he fell. Shepard was sure that he was dead or close to it.

There was still the backup to deal with. Shepard's first concern was his crew's safety, so he produced a biotic barrier that spread through them. He watched through the corner of his eye as people who had never felt biotics observe the blue flowing around them. Shepard had bigger problems, though, two guys were approaching quickly.

Shepard grabbed a knife sitting on the bar and aimed it at the first guy, who was around the same age as Colt. Shepard only stumbled back a little when a bullet tore through him; there was no pain. Commander Shepard aligned the knife with the guy's neck, and threw. It caught him right in the center of the throat and he fell backwards. He would bleed to death in a couple minutes. He turned to the second guy, who had stopped his approach after watching his partner get knifed.

The other man (who was more like a boy) started a hasty retreat towards the exit. Shepard caught him in a stasis, and let his biotic barrier go down. He walked over to the boy, and let the stasis go. Shepard grabbed his collar, and dragged him back to the bar. "Don't say a word, just listen," Shepard shoved his pistol in the boy's face, and dragged him on the bar. Glasses and alcohol fell to the floor. His crew was watching with shocked eyes and wonder, probably assuming he was going to kill the kid.

The boy started scrambling away, and grunting in terror. "What did I just say? Don't say anything, don't make a noise. See, I remember voices, not faces. I hear your voice when I'm wandering around, and well... that's not good for you. I'll associate your voice with danger, so don't make a noise," Shepard told the terrified boy. He was probably around eighteen.

"Is this all you wanted to be? In some seedy bar trying to kill Commander Shepard? I'm gonna' go ahead, and guess that you wanted to be something else. Maybe a doctor, maybe even an Alliance soldier. Do that, instead of trying to kill a Spectre. I could've killed you as quickly as I killed your friend. Nothing would've happened to me, I would've slept like a baby after repainting the walls with your brains," Shepard's words were a lie. He would've been stoic in front of his crew, and then he would've found a private place, and cried. He wouldn't have gotten over killing a kid.

"Now, you on the other hand, would've been in a sorry state. I think it's time to get a new profession. Open your hand," Shepard calmly asked, but the boy didn't. "Open your hand!" This time he did.

"I can read palms," Shepard was having too much fun lying, "This line tells me that after this you're going to do several things. First I'm going to let you go, and then you'll leave without a word. Then you're going to decide what you want to do with your life. When you decide what you want, you're gonna make it happen. Then you'll live a life of bliss, and every time you think about this you'll laugh. That's your future," Shepard allowed a small smile at him. The poor kid relaxed a little.

Shepard leaned in a little before speaking, "Before you make your future happen, I want a favor. I want you to go to the person who hired you, and I want you to tell them that I'll be waiting. Tell them that sending eighteen year olds to get a Spectre is only gonna get them so far. It's practice for me, not an actual threat. Tell them to do better," Shepard growled. He wondered if his words made him sound bloodthirsty.

Shepard pulled his pistol out of his face, and let go of the kid's collar go. When the kid realized he was free, he rolled off the bar, and stopped at his friend's body. "Get out of here! I never want to see your face again," Shepard's warning propelled him out the door.

A familiar pain tore through Shepard's torso, and it was clear he was starting another episode with his cybernetics. He would have to hide it for now.

"Shepard, you've been shot," Liara helpfully pointed out. Shepard didn't know if he could pretend like he wasn't in pain. The pain in his stomach was getting worse with each second. When he looked up towards his friends, he saw blood spattered on them. It must have happened when he was shot.

"I know," he tried to keep his voice even. He looked at the shoulder that was shot, and noticed a surprisingly small amount blood. He inspected it further, and found that the hole was closed. His cybernetics were good for something. "I'm all healed up," he told his friends, before sitting heavily at a bar stool.

He coughed a little, and spat some blood onto his hand. The pain wasn't getting any better, so he shot a look at Doctor Chakwas. She seemed to understand, and glided over to his seat. Everyone else just stood and surveyed the scene. Chakwas handed him a pill, and he gulped it down in seconds. The pain started to retreat.

"C-Sec is here!" Garrus called to Shepard. Shepard didn't want to deal with this now, he was still in too much pain. Even so, he didn't want to get arrested, so he slowly, and painfully pulled out his wallet.

"We're all good guys, I'm a Spectre," he handed one of them his documentation.

"I'm too sober for this!" Stubby roared, and started laughing. Shepard had to agree with him.


	59. Congratulations! You're Part Krogan!

**Chapter Fifty Seven: Congratulations! You're Part Krogan!**

Colt had been running around the Citadel delivering regiment banners and antidotes for mysterious ailments. He hated to be a delivery boy during wartime, but there wasn't another way to gain support. Thousands would be heading to Dock D-24 to pick up all the stuff Shepard had acquired for their support.

He was done with deliveries at long last and headed towards Liara's last known location, Apollo's. Liara was chatting with Aethyta. He had walked by occasionally, and had heard some pretty... interesting stuff. He hoped he hadn't missed the good stuff.

"You're a quarter Krogan, kid," Aethyta told Liara. Colt was walking past them to the vending machine, but upon hearing this information he went backwards.

"Please tell me that's true," Colt begged. He came up to the bar and sat next to Liara. She groaned and put a hand over her face.

"Sure is, remember all the stories I told you? My dad was Krogan," Aethyta announced happily.

"Oh, I remember the stories," he gave a shudder. "So Liara, that explains a lot. I always privately thought you were Krogan-like. You know with the, 'I'll shred you with my mind,' stuff," Colt reminded her.

"If you ever feel the need to head butt something, go ahead. It's a biological need," Aethyta pointed out. She and Colt quietly fist bumped when Liara groaned.

"That's not really how it works," Liara responded.

"Sure it is. I can tell that you're about to go all bloodrage on us and just start head butting everything in sight," Aethyta explained.

"I have never wanted to head butt anything," an exasperated Liara replied.

"Oh, come on. I'm sure you want to head butt Shepard sometimes," Aethyta offered.

"I do not head butt people," Liara said, although she looked very close to head butting them both.

"I do," Colt volunteered.

"See, your Commander slash man-friend knows how it's done," Aethyta pointed a finger towards Colt, and nodded approvingly.

"I am not going to win this," Liara was resigned. She was eyeing the liquor, so Colt stepped in.

"Do you want to do something?" He asked the poor asari.

"Like what?" Liara asked, and looked at him suspiciously.

"Oh, I have a few ideas," Colt eyes were bright with excitement, and a smirk was stretching across his face.

...

"Glorious," Colt whispered. He stood before a store called Alliance HQ. The display windows showed off shirts featuring the entire ground crew of the _Normandy. _Liara was really hoping that he wouldn't find out about the store, Goddess knows he didn't need his ego inflated more.

"All the Commander Shepard novelties will be sold out if we don't hurry," Liara broke his silent reverie.

He turned his head towards her, and grinned so deviously, Liara couldn't help but giggle like a fifty year old. He always pulled her into hair-brained schemes, and did so with such intoxicating glee, that she couldn't say no. He grabbed her hand, and pulled her into the store. A minute later he let go of her hand, and disappeared.

"Liara! Look!" Shepard came up from behind a few minutes later, and startled her. For being as loud as he usually was, Colt had surprisingly silent feet. A hat sat messily on his head, and had a picture of him on it as well as some script.

"What does it say?" Liara had never seen him wear a hat, and the sight was odd.

"Sheploo," Colt laughed at the word, and darted off to another part of the store. Liara started looking at the various knick-knacks. She found a large amount of stuff of her, or with her in it, for a store claiming to be Alliance centered. She really wasn't sure if she was part of the Alliance or outside of its jurisdiction.

"Liara!" Colt yelled from the other half of the store. She was hard-wired from missions to get worried whenever someone yelled her name, so she ran to his location.

"What is it? Are you okay?" Liara hurriedly pulled up next to him and started assessing the situation.

"Maybe I should be the one asking if you're okay," he murmured. His voice was full of distress for her. She came to the conclusion that she must have charged onto the scene like it was battle, not a shopping adventure. Combat-filled missions had made her jumpy over the years. Liara realized with a start that she had just diagnosed herself with a mild form of PTSD.

A couple nights ago, she had woken up to Colt bursting in her room. His eyes were bloodshot, and he was near panic. She had never, _ever _seen him anything but calm or angry. He begged her to sleep in his bed with him, stating that he couldn't have pleasant dreams alone. She complied, and hadn't slept in her own bed since. He refused to tell her what the nightmare was- she could tell that he didn't want to burden her. After the incident, she did some research. She had known about PTSD, but she found out more about the symptoms.

One of them was being unable to relax, and going into situations like they were combat. She had just displayed that symptom. "Liara, look at me. Liara," Colt was talking in her face and had taken hold of her shoulders.

She returned from her thoughts, and smiled at his worried face. "I'm okay, it's okay," Liara reassured him.

"If I had known that the bobble heads would upset you so much, I wouldn't have said anything," he laughed without humor, and pulled her closer. "I do the same thing," he whispered this in her ear, "Whenever I hear screaming, I'm on a battlefield. Just today, I was walking to Apollo's, and a baby started screaming. I got into a combat crouch, in the middle of the Citadel. I was in a war. Took me seven minutes to come out of it, and ten to stop shaking. It was a baby, Liara. A damn baby, not some sick Cerberus experiment, or a Reaper shock troop. I do it too. It's fine," Colt sounded like he was trying to convince himself.

...

"Is everything in place?" Colt asked, he walked around the CIC. Today was the day that Gabby and Ken got back on the _Normandy. _The crew had thrown together a little Welcome Back party thing, emphasis on little.

"Yes, sir," an ensign replied. Everyone was gathered around the doors, waiting for some of their favorite engineering people. All they needed was Tali back on the ship.

"WELCOME BACK," the many voices combined to make a deafening roar. Colt himself had a little thing that shot confetti. He watched with amusement as the little pieces of paper drifted on Ken and Gabby.

"Wow, thanks guys," Ken told the excited group. He surveyed the semi-decorated CIC. Shepard had made a banner that said Welcome Back, but his handwriting was famous for being illegible. Presents were shoved in the corner, and corny party games were set up. Colt's favorite was Pin-The-Eyepiece-On-Garrus.

"Let's play the Garrus Game," Colt led them to the surprisingly decent picture of Gar Bear. He started crying he was laughing so hard when Gabby pinned Garrus' eyepiece on a place you wouldn't want a needle going through.

"Let's all take a moment to appreciate the fact this isn't a Voodoo doll," Colt said between fits of laughter. He started laughing more when he saw Garrus' face. Eve's thunderous laughter filled the CIC.

"Present time!" Traynor called out, probably in an attempt to calm everyone down. Things had been so tense lately that everyone was laughing without control. Mordin was even laughing slightly.

Colt handed them the welcome back gifts he had made. He had gotten money from the crew to get the presents, so they were from everyone. He hadn't told anyone what he got them, so it was fun seeing everyone's reaction.

They were cups with two pictures. Ken's had his picture with sunglasses photo shopped on his face, and the caption, 'Who says engineering isn't cool?' On the other side was the whole engineering department with sunglasses inserted on their face. Gabby's was the same except the first picture was her with sunglasses on. Both had their names printed on the handle.

"From the crew," Colt said with a smile. The cups were being passed around, and being ooed and awed at.

"Thanks guys. This is just...I don't know what to say," Gabby was looking between the mug and the corny decorations.

"Then don't say anything. Family is supposed to do things like this," Colt put his arms on Ken, and Gabby's shoulders. Colt hadn't had a home in years. His childhood home burnt down with his dad inside, and ever since then he had wandered. For two years he belonged with the Tenth Street Reds, then Arcturus Station, and then several ships after that. The _Normandy _came close, but it wasn't _his. _These people; however, they were his family. He didn't have a home, but he did have a family. Maybe they were the same thing.


	60. We Thought It Was Over

**Chapter Fifty Eight: We Thought It Was Over**

"Help," Shepard choked up. It was hard to talk when blood was choking him. There was so much blood that it wasn't red anymore, but black. It was another episode with cybernetics, but this was much worse than anything before. He was throwing up, and coughing up so much blood that Shepard thought he might actually die from blood loss. Something was wrong with his ears. The explosion had started a chain of deadly events.

**Eight Hours Earlier**

"Pew! Pew! _Normandy _is coming in! All ships behind the _Normandy_! BOOM!" Colt was getting into his demonstration. He had a few hours to kill, and decided to spend them Liara. He had invited her up, and much to her chagrin had gotten his model ships out. She was trying to do work, but Colt decided he would have none of it. If he was going to die soon, then dammit he was going to spend the time he had with her.

"What are you doing?" Liara asked while laughing. He had snuck up behind her, and continued his battle above the desk she was using. Over the couple weeks that the two had been reunited, Liara had slowly been moving into the commander cave. The desk she was using was officially hers. His war trophies had been shoved in the corner and her stuff was spread messily around. Colt doesn't mind the company - in fact, he loved it. He hated being alone.

"I'm showing off. I'm impressing you with my knowledge of tactics and my memory of famous battles," Colt explained with a very scientific voice. "I'm doing a reenactment of the The Battle of the Citadel," Colt said.

He switched to a high pitched voice. "Oh! Commander Shepard bring your huge muscles and battle skills over here! We need to be saved!"

He quickly switched back to a deeper voice than his own, "Don't worry, I'll bring my commanderness right away!" He made the model _Normandy _chase the model _Sovereign. _

"We weren't even on the _Normandy _during the attack on _Sovereign," _Liara pointed out, while listening to Colt's sound effects.

"Shhh," Colt replied, while running a finger down her lips. "That's just minor details," he grinned at her sheepishly.

"I see. What do I get to be?" Liara asked thoughtfully.

"You can be the _Normandy_," Colt whispered, while delicately placing it in Liara's hand. It was his favorite model, so he treated it like a baby.

"Commander, we're half an hour from Tuchanka," Joker's voice echoed in the commander cave.

"Thanks Joker. Make sure that EDI and James know they're coming," Colt replied. When he saw the look Liara was giving him, he said, "What? It's not like I can take you on every mission. I mean, I take you almost every time, but I can't show favorites," he explained carefully. He was walking a very thin line with this one. He knew how bad Liara felt when she got left behind. She was a worried mess.

"Yes, because dating me doesn't show favoritism," Liara replied testily. Damn, she did have a point.

"True, but you do see what I'm sayin? I have to rotate people," Colt responded, and kneeled down beside Liara's chair. He put his head on the desk, and looked at her seriously.

"I know, but it's nerve-wracking when something happens and I'm stuck on the _Normandy._ Every time I don't come with you, you manage to get yourself hurt," Liara choked up, and looked away. He felt her distress.

"I won't get hurt, I promise," Colt said gently. He took her hand in his. "Why would I get hurt, when we have an epic battle to complete?" He gestured to his model ships.

Liara turned to look at him, the same distress she felt was in her eyes. Colt stood, and placed a kiss on her forehead. He prayed that he could keep his promise. "It'll be okay," he said with the same quiet reassurance. He held her hand for a few seconds more, and then left to get his gear.

...

"Lieutenant Victus, what's the situation?" Shepard called into his communicator. The area surrounding him was burning, and full of rubble. Rhubarb stood up dangerously everywhere, and the distinct smell of burning flesh filled the air. He hoped he wouldn't be too late.

"There's heavy Reaper forces at my location!" Victus yelled back. His voice was slightly garbled.

"Understood, send out a flair," Shepard responded. He started off towards a nearby ladder.

Everything was going well, until they came upon the crashed escape pod. Before, everything had been filled with ladders, easy Husk deaths, lots of creds, and fire. Now they had proof to validate the disgusting scent lacing the crash site. There were several dead turians surrounding an escape pod. Most of them were burnt so badly that Shepard could barely tell they were turian.

"What an awful way to die," James commented. He was looking at the way they were twisted in a desperate attempt to get away from the escape pods. Shepard closed his eyes to the unreal sight. He thanked anyone, and everyone, that his crew hadn't experienced something similar when the SR-1 went down.

"We have to keep moving; we don't want more to end up like this," Shepard informed James and EDI. He scaled the next ladder in record time.

"Harvester!" James yelled, seconds after Shepard had sent a biotic fist through a Cannibal's chest.

"Well...shit," Shepard could not think of something cool to say. "Kill it before it takes out that escape pod!" Another escape pod was across a large chasm. This time live turians were gathered around the escape pod. Shepard had no intention of letting them die.

…

"Holy shit, Commander," James stared at Shepard. They had just driven off the Harvester and defeated the Reaper forces closing in on the turian squad. They had all helped, but Shepard had fought the hardest. Determination to save every single turian had driven the Commander to defeat the forces in an impressive amount of time. Not one turian died.

"I have to agree with James, Commander. That was incredible," EDI said without emotion, as usual.

"That's why they pay me the big bucks," Shepard laughed.

"Really?" James asked curiously.

"Nope," Shepard responded, again laughing. They couldn't reach the turians, so he started climbing a ladder to the right.

Half an hour later, they had fought a Harvester and rescued Victus. Shepard was not impressed with Victus's actions. Apparently, neither was his squad. It wasn't his place to judge though.

...

Shepard victoriously walked onto the crew deck. He felt great after saving the Primarch's son. "So, how was the show?" Shepard asked the crew, which was gathered around the screen in the Mess Hall. They were putting everything back to normal, but the majority turned when they heard his voice.

Liara walked up to him with a smile plastered on her face. "I told you that I'd be okay," he whispered. He put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her to his side. "Well, I should go. I need to get my armor off," Colt gave a final squeeze to Liara's shoulder, and started towards the elevator.

"Commander Shepard, people do not exaggerate your skills," Primarch Victus remarked. He stopped Shepard just before he got to the elevator.

"That's very nice of you to say, but I'm just doing my job," Shepard replied. He always liked the Primarch.

"That's very modest of you. Normally I would retreat back to the War Room, but I know of another mission on Tuchanka. It's huge, Commander. I don't mean to tell you how to operate, but it would probably be a good idea to do it today," the Primarch was speaking loud enough that everyone heard. He leaned in so that only Shepard could hear. "It's a bomb, Commander. Cerberus is going to use it to obliterate Tuchanka, or a huge portion," Victus looked seriously at him.

"As a rule, I usually don't do two missions in a day...but I can't ignore this," Shepard answered loudly. "James, are you up to another mission?" Shepard tightened the armor on his arm that he had just loosened.

"I'm always good to go, Captain," James jumped up from the table where he sat. Shepard was pleased to see that his armor was still on.

"Good," Shepard turned back to Victus. "Let's have a quick briefing in the War Room. Come on James!" Shepard turned to get on the elevator.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Doctor Chakwas asked Shepard quietly. She gave him a look which implied that she was worried about his cybernetics holding up.

"I can't ignore this. It has to be done quickly," Shepard responded to the good doctor. She nodded and let him go.

…

"Commander, Ninth Platoon reporting in!" Victus came over a vid screen in the Kodiak, "We're getting jostled around quite a bit."

"This is as close as we're getting, find somewhere to get off," Shepard told him. His small squad was also close to landing. "Tell me about this Cerberus bomb," Shepard couldn't imagine what the Krogan had done to Cerberus to get this. Sure, they hated aliens, but that didn't mean they could just start bombing them.

"It's not Cerberus... It's turian," he voice was filled with shame. Shepard could hear murmurings of people back on the _Normandy _through his comm. unit. Apparently no one was expecting this.

"What?!" Shepard focused more on Victus now.

"We planted it as a safeguard. In case another war broke out, we could just deploy the bomb and end another Krogan Rebellion," Victus' words made Shepard's mouth touch the floor.

James came up behind Shepard and thoughtfully said, "Seems a bit harsh, but I can see the need."

"Didn't you learn that hiding huge bombs on people's home worlds won't earn you any friends?" Shepard asked incredulously. What an awful thing to do. "We don't have time to debate ethics, we need to disarm that bomb," Shepard's head was spinning.

"Right, but Cerberus is all over it. Detonation of that bomb means all-out war between my people and the Krogans," Victus responded. The stakes just rose about ninety percent. These days, Shepard only participated in missions that if failed, would make the entire galaxy explode. "We can't fail, Commander," Victus added more pressure.

"We won't," Shepard commented before leaping into a war zone.

"Just like Elysium!" Shepard yelled, as he ran through rainfall consisting of artillery shells. It was similar to the event that jump started Shepard's career, because the first part of the siege on Elysium had been constant shelling from the Batarians.

Shepard thanked his biotic barriers, and everyone else's Kinetic barriers for saving them. They were lucky that not one shell directly hit them, but some were close. Shepard was propelled backwards and to the side several times by dangerously close shells. James and EDI were also tossed about by the sheer force of close hits. It didn't help that Cerberus Troopers were everywhere. He was soooo glad that he decided not to take Liara.

"Commander! Take out those Cerberus Troopers!" James yelled behind him. He was motioning towards a group of them that was pounding James' location. Shepard summoned biotic energy for a charge, and appeared at their location seconds later. The charge killed one, and injured the other two. A biotic Nova tore through the rest.

"Come on!" Shepard yelled at his team and started for a couple of destroyed buildings. He smiled when Cerberus Troopers swarmed through the rubble.

...

Cerberus started evacuating half way through the mission. They were close to detonating the bomb, and the ground team would become just a thought if that happened. Shepard drove forward hard. He knew that his biotics were being overused, but the constant barrage of biotic attacks couldn't stop now. He took only a few moments to absorb the bomb's appearance.

"I hope Victus knows what he's doing, we won't get a second chance," James reminded the Commander.

"I know, James," Shepard gazed at the sheer size of the bomb. In an instant Commander Shepard could be nothing more than a story. He charged ahead.

About seventeen minutes later, Victus was at the bomb controls. "Commander, I can get rid of the trigger mechanism. It's old technology, so I know how to hack into the system. The trigger is just a smaller explosion, so if we can separate it from the big bomb, we'll be good" Victus was typing furiously at a holographic interface. "Should be relatively easy, and straightforward," he called. The next fifteen minutes was anything but.

"We'll keep Cerberus off of you," Shepard sent a shockwave at some Cerberus troopers. He finished them off with a storm of bullets to their location, and watched as their heads exploded.

Things were going according to plan. Shepard even got to launch a missile at an Atlas mech, which upgraded his coolness one level. Cerberus was going down easily, the ground team was working like a well oiled machine. Shepard felt a lot better about the mission. Until he got back to Victus.

"The bomb is gonna detonate in a minute!" Victus screamed. His hand/talons started working double time. For an awful second, Shepard thought about how wonderful a quick death like this would be. The bomb would go off, and there would be nothing. No pain, like being shot, and he could just leave his responsibilities. Garrus or Liara could take his place.

"Cover me!" Victus yelled at Shepard, before he started scaling the scaffolding holding the bomb. Shepard watched as Victus successfully got the detonator to release from the bomb. Well, almost every latch connecting the trigger released. One release was jammed. Shepard knew that he would need help, so he called for EDI to cover him, while he started up to help. Victus was on the latch, and taking out something.

"WAIT!" Shepard screamed at the Lieutenant. He was leaping up the ladder, passing two or three rungs with each leap.

"Victory, no matter the cost," Victus said loud enough for Shepard to hear. He gave the Commander such a look that Shepard knew he wouldn't wait. Shepard could see that the trigger would fall away from the bomb and would reach his level when it went off. His crew was also in danger of being caught in the explosion.

"Cover!" Shepard yelled at James and EDI. He let go of the ladder, and concentrated on putting a biotic barrier around himself. The explosion's shockwave sent him flying backwards.

…

James had pulled EDI behind a concrete slab just as the shockwave hit. The roar from the explosion hit seconds after the shockwave. Commander Shepard had been closer to the explosion, and without cover. The implications were unpleasant. After waiting for several minutes, James got up.

Shepard wasn't close to the explosion. James searched in a daze. "Chakwas... Shepard is still, you know?" He asked with dread coursing through him.

"He's alive, I can't tell beyond that, however. My sensors were damaged," Chakwas replied. James kept searching. Everything was on fire and in bad shape from the initial shockwave.

"James! Over here!" EDI called to him. She pointed to some blood on the ground. James followed it, and sighed with relief when he saw Shepard moving. His relief went away when he saw what was happening. Shepard was vomiting blood, and blood was coming out of his ears.


	61. Are We Any Better?

**Author's Note: Does a Javik/Liara romance creep anyone else out? Because I'm totally freaked out by the idea. Javik is just such an awful person and Liara isn't. I do find the Prothean hilarious, but also a total jerk. Sorry if you like that ship. **

**Also, reviews are an amazing thing (hint, hint). They motivate me to write more, faster. Plus they let me know if things are going well, or not so much. It's hard to know if I should keep writing when I'm in the dark on other's opinions. Thanks, and sorry for begging. **

**Chapter Fifty Nine: Are We Any Better?**

"Commander, what's wrong?" James asked carefully. He was watching Shepard prepare a shot of some type between throwing up and coughing.

"Commander, we need to get you back on the _Normandy," _EDI tried. Shepard was completely ignoring them, and continued to work on his shot preparation. James was getting a little aggravated at Shepard; he could at least acknowledge them.

"Commander!," James yelled; this would definitely get Shepard's attention. Shepard didn't move, though. Instead he injected himself, and sat up a little more. He groaned in pain, but did not acknowledge the others.

James decided to go with another tactic. He tapped Shepard on the shoulder, where a piece of his armor was missing. Shepard jumped, glowed blue, and looked up at him viciously. The look went as fast as it came, however. He smiled at them, revealing bloodstained teeth, and tried to stand.

"The Commander may have ruptured his eardrums. He probably cannot hear anything," EDI explained. James looked towards Shepard with a new understanding. He lowered a hand towards his Captain, and Shepard took it with a red hand. Shepard almost fell back, because their hands were slick with blood.

…

Commander Shepard was almost unconscious. He was hanging onto the world desperately with each stride. A significant amount of his life force had drained on the rubble twenty feet behind them. His clear cybernetic goo had been leaking alongside his red blood. Shepard's weak body was being drug by James and EDI; both had a vice grip on his shoulders. The world was a soundless landscape. Shell shock was probably to blame, and his loss of hearing would be temporary. Another fifteen minutes, and everything would be fine and dandy again.

It seemed like everything was failing in a spectacular fashion. He felt like his body was shutting down, his hearing was messed up, and losing Lieutenant Victus was a massive blow. The mission had been a disgrace. He let himself throw a pity party the whole way back to the shuttle.

Once on board the Kodiak, Shepard felt himself stabilizing more. He no longer felt like he was on the edge of the real world, and the unconscious one. He was able to realize that despite thinking it would, his hearing had not come back. The shot he gave himself had gotten his insides under control, but the world was still lacking any auditory input. His temporary deafness should've been gone by now.

Shepard warily put his hand next to his ear, and snapped. There was nothing. He snapped again, but it was a constant silence. Shepard _hated _silence; it was like being alone. The ride back to the _Normandy _was filled with fear. Shepard relied on his ears, and now they had been taken away.

The shuttle's door opened without its usual whoosh. Colt was on the verge of panic. He couldn't function without his ears. No way he could, how was he even functioning now? The world wasn't supposed to be silent. Bad things happened when it was silent. It meant that he was alone-it meant he could die without anyone caring. It means that he would be separated from his friends, from people.

Chakwas appeared in front of him. She was saying something, but he didn't know what. Colt clung onto her like she was the only thing keeping him grounded. Terror coursed through his veins. He felt like he was suffocating...again. He choked on fear, and started to come undone. It felt like the sun, and everything he knew, had been blown out along with his ears.

Liara showed up next to Chakwas, and put a hand on his cheek. He barely felt it. Colt was desperately trying to hold it together, but everything was just falling apart. Then a pleasant sensation ran through his body. A few seconds later, he fell into sleep.

...

"You know, Commander. I would like a little time to myself in between gluing you back together after missions," Chakwas stood above him with an insufferable grin. Other medical staff moved around the room. None of them were Chakwas' assistants, so he was obviously at Huerta.

"It's a damn good thing that I'm pretty then, isn't Doctor? Having to look at me for hours on end while you carefully apply super glue isn't so bad when you're staring at such a marvel," Shepard gestured to himself.

"Don't flatter yourself, Commander," Chakwas turned, and spoke to one of the medical people.

"That was hurtful, Doc. I think I need to find you a significant other, so you don't take all your repressed emotions out on your patients," Colt sat up a little more. He was in the same room he had been before. It wasn't so small this time around, however. Probably because all of his friends weren't trying to fit inside. He was so tired of ending up on Huerta.

"Stop," Chakwas said with a laugh. "I have to give you credit for managing to hurt yourself so much that you continually end up in Huerta. You didn't hear this from me, but I think you've been put in the running for patient of the year," Chakwas smiled at her own words, before injecting him with something. He had not seen that one coming.

"It's disturbing to me how much fun you have giving me shots," Shepard was tense from fear. If the Reapers started using needles, then the galaxy could deal without him.

"Ah, but it's only fun if I get to poke and prod," the Doctor turned back around.

"Ya, fun for you," Colt muttered. "What was it this time?" He looked around for clues to see why he might have been brought in.

"Ruptured eardrums. Your smart-ass comments tell me that the surgery was successful," Chakwas did that smug little grin again.

"Don't lie. You know you missed my wit," Shepard replied. "I have no memory of something like that happening," he touched his ears. He did remember Victus, God did he remember that.

"Probably a good thing. It wasn't pleasant. Your ears were bleeding, and you may have panicked," Chakwas said the last part quickly. The good doctor was turned away, so he couldn't read her face.

"Wonderful," he groaned. "Like it wasn't already traumatic enough for the crew to have a deaf Commander, I have to go and panic."

"Actually, your XO kept everything going quite well," Chakwas' words were definitely said with a grin. He didn't need to see her face to know.

Colt also came to the realization that he didn't know who his XO was. He had been too caught up in saving the galaxy to announce who his XO was. A stupid decision, but he just didn't think about it. He needed to remember to appoint Engineer Adams to XO when he got back into things. "Who exactly is my XO?"

"A one Doctor Liara T'Soni," Chakwas laughed at his reaction.

"I knew she was amazing, but stepping up as XO? Damn, if I were in her situation I wouldn't be able to do it. I wouldn't be able to function if she was hurt...just wow," Colt was grinning madly. Liara continued to astound him, "I should probably go and see her." He stood, and cracked his back satisfactorily.

"Just a minute, you probably want to shave," Chakwas handed him a mirror. He had a thick head of semi-curly hair, and a long beard. They were brown, with streaks of white. The hair on his head was three inches long, and his beard was an inch and a half long. "A side affect of those shots is that your facial hair grows a lot faster than it normally would," Chakwas explained to the shocked Shepard.

His Commander Shepard look was a shaved head, and a shadow bridging on a beard. He did not look like his usual self. His former gang leader self looked like he did now. This look brought him back to when he was sixteen, and homeless. Unkempt would be a good description since his hair was uncombed, sticking up weirdly, and had a slight natural curl.

...

_The unbearable silence spread throughout the _Normandy. _Liara couldn't believe they had lost Colt and Lieutenant Victus in a matter of seconds. She refused to acknowledge her own loss - Colt couldn't be gone. So instead of thinking about him, she stared at the Primarch trying to gauge his reaction. _

_Liara had never seen a turian cry, she didn't know they could. Until now. The Primarch was staring at the black screen with tears running down his face. He looked like he didn't quite believe his eyes. It was so odd how someone can be perfectly fine seconds before, only to be dead now. The Primarch's son had been completely healthy five seconds earlier, and now he didn't exist. _

_One of the three screens was black - Shepard's screen. James and EDI were searching for the Commander. He was still alive, Liara could still feel him in her mind. She had to take control of the situation, it's what Shepard would've done. _

...

Colt saw Liara sitting alone just outside his hospital room. She had her head in her hands. It broke Colt's heart, so he decided his singing voice would cheer her up. "Liara, oh my dearest Liara! So blue, I really like your hue, makes me coo, but I'm not through," Colt paused for a moment to think, "Well...shit. I'm actually through, because I'm not very good rhyming." He grinned at her, and sat next to his blue beauty.

"Colt," Liara whispered, and buried her head into his shoulder. She wrapped her arms around his neck, and was partially sitting on his lap. He could feel her tears seeping into his shirt. "Why do you keep getting hurt?" Her voice was painful to hear.

"Occupational hazard, I suppose," Colt supplied helpfully. He didn't know what to do, so he hugged her close. Shepard wasn't a fan of public displays of affection, but this was important. Liara needed comforting.

"Stop getting hurt, then. By the Goddess... stop it," Liara sobbed. She sounded so weak and defeated.

"I will. I'll stop," at this point Colt would've turned into a hanar if it stopped Liara crying. "Let's get back," Colt said gently. He stood up with Liara still in his arms. Her feet were off the ground, and she dangled from him for a second, until she untangled herself from him. The loss of contact was disappointing, and Colt almost started hugging her again.

They started walking towards the entrance hand in hand. In the waiting area sat their friends. They all looked horrendously bored. An elite team of soldiers was not supposed to wait around, but it was very amusing. "Hey everyone," Colt greeted everyone happily. His heart warmed when he saw how they all looked so relieved, "The famed Major-Doctor Chakwas has restored my hearing abilities with her secret magic powers, and they're better than before. So now I can hear every sarcastic comment you guys make behind my back," Colt announced cheerily.

"I am also pleased to announce that we shall be having a three day shore leave," Colt felt even better when he saw their excited faces. "Meet back at the usual time in three days, dismissed," he watched everyone, except for Liara, file out of Huerta's waiting room.

"I figured we could enjoy each other's company," Liara smiled at him shyly, making his knees weak.

"Great idea," Colt agreed. He grabbed her hand and swung their intertwined hands enthusiastically.

"You know, your singing isn't that bad," Liara admitted once they were outside the waiting room.

"_Reeaallly?_" Colt asked with a playful tone.

"What have I done? The entire crew agreed that we wouldn't inflate your ego anymore," Liara brought her free hand to her forehead.

Colt was about to reply, until he heard something odd. "Liara, do you hear something?" Colt stopped, and looked all around him. He knew he heard someone in trouble.

"Nope, not a thing. What do you hear?" Liara stood next to him, and glanced around.

"Someone needs help!" Shepard took off towards the shouting and crying. He wasn't going as fast as he could; he didn't want Liara to be left behind. His ears led them to a little side street that was oddly not lit very well. Probably the only place on the Citadel that wasn't lit up. He could hear laughing, and crying farther down it.

"What the fuck is happening here?!" Shepard called into the alleyway. Liara was next to him with glowing biotic fists.

"Piss off," a deep voice responded. He could hear whimpering. Shepard nodded to Liara, and together they traveled into the dark street. A part of him noticed how Liara looked terrifying when she was angry, and glowing blue.

They came upon a group surrounding something. Shepard grabbed the back of someone's shirt, and ripped them backwards. The person tumbled backwards, and revealed someone in the center of the group. Whatever was happening was not good.

One of them turned and threw a punch towards Shepard. He easily dodged his fist and in turn grabbed the guy's arm, twisted, and listened to the crackle of bones. Another one tried the same thing, and got similar results. Now two of the five were laying on the floor crying in pain.

Liara sent a ball of biotics towards a third. The ball hit him easily, and sent him crumbling to the floor. The fourth tried to run, but Liara caught him. Her fist, surrounded with crackling blue, connected with his face and sent him sprawling. A devastating punch from Shepard sent the fifth sailing to the ground.

Colt moved to their target, and realized the person was a teenage girl. "You're safe now. I'm Commander Shepard, okay? I'm not going to hurt you," Colt kneeled down next to her. She looked at him with terror written on her face. Her face was slightly bruised, but it appeared that they had stopped the attack from becoming too bad.

"Colt, they're Alliance," Liara called to him. She opened one of their coats, and revealed a shirt with an Alliance insignia printed on it. Colt's head didn't want to stop spinning. Alliance members were the best of the best, not scum.

"Call C-Sec, and Huerta," Colt turned back to the frightened girl. Before he could react, she was hugging him. She started bawling into his shoulder, and shook from the fear. He stood, and carried her out of the secluded street. C-Sec officers, and an ambulance were already there.

Shepard watched with tired eyes as Alliance personnel were taken away. It was a terrible blow to know that his side in the war wasn't always so good. He would be more alert with his own in the future.

Colt stayed with the teen while doctors ran a couple scans, and determined that she only needed a few applications of medi-gel. Liara discussed what happened with C-Sec, but the weirdest thing was when members of the _Normandy _started showing up. They all said that Garrus had told them that Shepard was involved with an assault, and seeing as how Shepard was always being targeted, they came to help. Garrus' old connections in C-Sec must've told him. Colt would never admit this, but he was secretly touched that Garrus seemingly kept tabs on him.

The girl refused to let go of Shepard until her parents showed up, and even then she stayed close. When word got out that Commander Shepard had saved someone, the press flocked to their location. The girl's name was Tonya, and she seemed perked up at all the attention. Her parents got a few personal pictures, which he signed (which was unusual, Shepard almost never signed anything to keep his signature rare). Amazing how saving a poor girl had turned into a media circus.

"Commander, any advice for Tonya?" A reporter asked. Commander Shepard, Liara, and Tonya stood side-by-side for pictures.

"The best advice I can give is this: If you're gonna smell, smell good or don't smell at all. That simple rule has saved me on several occasions. Honestly, you've heard it all before. So hopefully that helps," Shepard smiled down at her. It must've been an unexpected answer, because the growing crowd erupted into laughter. At this point expecting the unexpected was a great policy with him. The best part was Liara's melodic laugh and the amused expression she threw at him.

Tonya's parents decided to take her home, but not before a final hug and a word with her father. "Commander Shepard, I cannot put into words how grateful I am. Saving my daughter is..." the poor man choked up. "Thank you."

Liara pulled up next to Colt, and intertwined their fingers. "I will save anybody needs saving. I'm just doing my job. Any member of my crew would've done the same. I'm just a grunt doing my part." Shepard used to believe that the entire Alliance would've done the same, but after this...

The man smiled warmly at him, and replied, "No, Commander. You are so much more than that."


	62. The Truth

**Chapter Sixty: The Truth**

"We still have an hour and a half before Shepard shows up. You guys have anything you want to do?" Garrus was perched in the center of the small group. The group's members included Liara, Traynor, Doctor Chakwas, James, Joker, EDI, Garrus, Mordin (who was finally available), Cortez (surprisingly), and some Ensigns. They were planning on going to see a vid on the big screen.

"Well, we could always get a bite," Cortez eyed a nearby restaurant.

"We would have to pick something up for our fearless leader," Joker said these words sarcastically. "Do you guys know how picky he is? He only accepts food that the gods themselves cook," Joker earned a few laughs.

"Liara could always pick something for him. Hopefully, she knows his tastes," Joker eyes gleamed mischievously.

Before something unfortunate came out of Joker's mouth, Liara interrupted, "I could get him something if you guys want to eat."

Suddenly an excited turian collided with James, who was on the outskirts of the group. "What the hell? What's got you so excited?" James asked him.

"Did you not hear? The big fight is about to start, you know the one set up by that underground group. I hear it's top notch fighters tonight. Damn, it's gonna be good," the turian started off again. The _Normandy _crew looked at one another, and wordlessly decided to follow.

The fight was decidedly larger than Liara had expected. It was definitely against the rules that C-Sec presided over, but in all honesty they were probably receiving kick-backs from it. In fact, she saw people who looked like C-Sec officers. There was a fee at the door, but that hadn't stopped a great deal of people from cramming into the large room. It was a rudimentary set-up with a slightly raised platform with ropes making a square for the ring.

They had gotten there after the fighters had been introduced. The two were stretching and getting loose. It appeared like their hands were wrapped, but it was hard to tell. The first person was a Drell, a huge Drell . He towered over the second person, who was a male human. He had a thick head of brown hair. Both were shirtless, wearing long shorts, and muscular.

"Is it just me, or does that guy look like Shepard?" Traynor asked. She was staring intently at the human.

"Shepard's head is shaved. No way it could be him. Does anyone know what Shepard was doing today anyways?" Garrus was also looking at the human closely.

"He told me, and I quote, 'I'm going to drink lots of Ryncol, impress Liara, dance till I drop, do Spectre stuff, and parade little Rosebud,"' James tried to mimic Shepard's voice, but it was awful. "Speaking of which, where is Rosebud?"

"With Richardson," an Ensign answered. Shepard rarely left his varren with someone else.

"When did you guys last see the Commander, anyways?" Cortez said with a thoughtful voice.

"Two days ago," was the general consensus.

"Shepard has to shave twice a day, says the cybernetics must make his hair grow quickly," Liara spoke for the first time in awhile. Doctor Chakwas coughed slightly, and looked rather uncomfortable.

"Guys, the human is dancing a little bit," Joker pointed out to the group.

They watched for about three seconds, and together they said, "It's Shepard."

"Ladies and gentlemen! Round One of three starts now!" A loud voice boomed across the room. Shepard and the Drell started circling each other. Their fists were close to their faces, and their feet were dancing to a soundless melody.

The Drell swung his right fist towards Shepard's face, but he dodged to the side. Unfortunately, the Drell was expecting this, and caught Shepard in the stomach. He stumbled back from the blow, but caught himself and repositioned. Liara regretted walking into this place, she couldn't stand to watch Colt getting beat up. She grabbed Garrus' hand for comfort.

The two exchanged a few more jabs, but nothing substantial. Then the Drell unleashed a barrage upon Shepard. One of his flying fists hit across Shepard's face. Liara could hear the smack from her seat. He went down hard, and stayed down long enough for the Drell to be declared the round winner. Liara clung to Garrus' hand desperately. The crowd was going crazy; their cheering hurt Liara's ears. It seemed like the minority had bet on Shepard.

When Shepard climbed to his feet, blood trickling down his forehead was visible. He stumbled to a corner to await the call for the next round. Liara wanted to look away, but she couldn't. When the announcer called the next round, Shepard started moving in a different way. Before he had been a little sluggish, and careless. With a start Liara realized that he intended to lose the first round.

Every punch the Drell threw was easily dodged, or barely touched Shepard. Colt didn't throw as many punches, but they were devastating. The Drell started to fade, making Shepard increase his attacks. After a flurry of punches, a particularly hard hit sent the Drell to the ground. The ref/announcer held up Shepard's arm, and a victorious smile graced the commander's face.

The third round started after the Drell had collected himself enough to fight again. Poor guy didn't know he was fighting against Commander Shepard. This time Shepard's opponent was more aware of what he could do, but the previous round had taken a lot out of the Drell. Almost every punch Shepard threw was a hit. The crowd noticed how the favorite was starting to fade, making it quieter than it had been.

In an odd turn of events, Shepard stopped moving his feet. He stood still for a millisecond, and then he launched into action. He twisted his whole body into the air, and caught the Drell's head in between his calves. Shepard's whole body was still spinning, so the Drell spun with Shepard. The Drell landed on his side with a disgusting crunch, while Shepard caught himself. Colt released the Drell, and jumped back onto his feet in case the Drell got back up. He didn't.

The crowd was silent while the ref announced that Colt was the winner. He walked around the ring with his hands up, a smug expression painted across his features. He shook hands briefly with the Drell, before the loser was escorted off.

"So he can do that, but not dance?" Joker asked with his usual sarcastic tone.

"I guess you don't have a lot of love for humans around here," Colt announced with a booming voice, and surveyed the crowd with narrowed eyes. There was not a noise. "No matter, I'm okay with taking all your creds instead of being congratulated. Enjoy the rest of the night ladies and gentlemen," Colt laughed, and leaped over the ring's cloth barrier.

"Let's go catch up with him," Cortez announced, and started heading towards the general direction Shepard had gone. It took them twenty minutes to find Colt.

"Nice fight, Jim," a bartender told Shepard. The commander was massaging his knuckles, and flexing his hands. He had already changed into a plain shirt and cargo pants. The group was heading towards him, but Shepard didn't seem to notice. "How are those treatments coming?"

"I'm not getting any better, but at least I'm not going downhill too fast," Shepard shrugged, and took a sip of what was probably Ryncol. Chakwas coughed, which made Shepard look at them. He blinked slowly at the group, like he couldn't quite believe what he saw.

"Hey guys. I didn't expect to see the pack here," Shepard downed his drink in one sip. He swallowed hard, and his normal demeanor around them wasn't present. His eyes were hard and unfeeling. "Wasn't I supposed to meet you in like half an hour?" He checked his watch, and gave a sideways glance to the people around them.

"You have hair!" Joker pointed out helpfully. He reached and touched Shepard's hair with a look of amusement.

"Yes, I grew the mane back," Shepard shook his head proudly. "I was going to shave it off before we met, so I guess it's a bonus you guys get to see it," he still had that indifferent look. It was so out of character, and frankly frightening. He was a different person.

"We still have a little while, we could get a drink," Garrus settled down at one of the bar stools.

"NO!" Colt hissed the words. The intensity of his answer made everyone jump, and Garrus climbed off the chair uncertainly. "Let's just get out of here," Shepard stood, took a cred chit out of his pocket, and threw it on the counter.

Shepard started walking out with a purpose. For the first time, Liara noticed the shady people in the fine establishment. Perhaps that was why Shepard was indifferent, he didn't want to draw attention. She saw the subtle gravitation to Shepard that everyone did. Even without consciously thinking about it, Shepard was the safe haven for everyone. Liara felt the same safety around Colt, and moved closer to him when she saw the hungry eyes looking at her.

"Hey, sweetheart, wanna come back to my place?" A sleazy batarian asked Traynor, and grabbed her arm. Shepard paused for a second, and then wheeled around on the batarian. This punch made the ones he was throwing at the Drell look like child's play. The nasty batarian was on the floor, out cold.

Two other batarians nearby stood up, both pulling out switchblades. Shepard was at their location in record time. He had his omni-blade to one's throat, and a switchblade Liara had never seen to the other's. They sat down without another peep.

Shepard walked back to them, allowing Liara to see his switchblade. It was Red with some sort of human writing on it. "Come on," he muttered while shoving his knife into his shorts. Nothing else occurred on their way out, except for the desperate glances of lonely men, and women. A lot of people congratulated Shepard on the win, but he never stopped and only threw out vague thank yous.

Once clear of the fight's crowd, Liara asked Colt, "So, what did the bartender mean by your treatments?"

Shepard looked back to her, and slowed down a little, "Oh that? Well-."

"Ya, Commander. What did that bartender mean?" A human male came up on the group's left. They were in the shadow of a large building, so his face was hard to make out. Apparently, Shepard knew him, because he growled at his appearance.

"Vincent told me that you hadn't told them yet, but I was skeptical. Everyone knows how close the legendary _Normandy _crew is. Led by the lovable Commander Shepard. Hero, loving boyfriend, loyal friend, Alliance poster child, the press's favorite person, and the galaxy's brightest star. A seemingly perfect person, but how many of you actually know _anything _about Commander Shepard?" Liara's eye widened at this guy's rant. First, she could feel the white hot rage boiling under Shepard's skin that was barely contained. Second, she felt guilty about being told that she didn't know a lot about her boyfriend. She hoped that it wasn't true.

"That's just the way he likes it, too. The more you know about him, the less you'll like. I'll give you an example. Your beloved leader has been lying to each and every one of you for weeks. He's not been very truthful about his health. Shepard's cybernetics are being rejected by his organic tissue. His organs are working at eighty percent or less. The doctors tell him that he has a year at most," the guy stepped out of the shadows a little more, revealing four deep scars going vertically left to right across his face, "The galaxy's only hope is a dead man even if he manages to live through the Reapers."

"Riiiight, and I'm Blasto," Joker cut through the tension. It did sound completely absurd to Liara. This guy was probably just some loon with a sick obsession with Colt.

"Does sound far-fetched," Traynor observed. Liara looked to the faces of her friends, and saw how they were also laughing, and dismissing the idea. She immediately felt better, and let the dread she felt at the admission go. The man slinked away into the shadows, and disappeared.

"What a total load of shit, right Shepard?" Garrus said with enthusiasm. All eyes turned to the subject, but he wasn't facing them. His shoulders were tensed, and his fists were clenched. Confusion swept through everyone like a wildfire. "Right Shepard?" Garrus asked with an unsure, small voice.

Shepard turned very slowly, but kept his eyes on the ground. The look on his face was indescribable. It was a mix of shock, shame, sadness, and an unspoken apology. The bottom dropped out of Liara's world.


	63. Something More

**Author's Note: An update took so long to get here because I was evacuated. A fire near my house forced me out for awhile. No worries, however. Everyone is fine, as is my home. Sorry about the wait, but it's just one of those things. **

**Chapter Sixty One: Something More**

"_You look very dressed up for a girl's night out," Colt commented, while eyeing Abby's dress. It was one she had never worn before. _

"_Women dress to impress other women, not men," she stood up, and glided to his spot by the door. Their apartment was tiny, so he had to awkwardly stand at their bedroom door trying to avoid getting in her way. _

"_Well, I'll take your word on it. Have fun," Colt leaned down, and pressed a gentle kiss to her lips. _

"_I will," Abby looked him the eye, with a loving look gliding over her pretty face. "What are you going to do?" _

"_Stay in, I guess. Sam wanted to hang out, but I'm just not up to it," Colt pulled his gaze away from her when she gazed at him with disappointment. _

_She sighed, and placed a hand on his arm, "Colt-."_

"_I'll get better," he responded quietly. "You go have fun. Don't worry about me; I keep myself pretty good company." _

"_Okay, I'll be back by twelve. See you later," Abby kissed him one last time, and left. Now he could settle down and watch season eight of Fleet and Flotilla. _

_He was three episodes in when a ringing noise made him jump. It was definitely an omni-tool, but it wasn't his._

"_Shit," Colt muttered when he saw that Abby had left her omni-tool behind. He grabbed the damn thing, and left their apartment. _

…

_Where could Abby be? She told him where she was going, but he couldn't remember. The grocery store was a dead end, as was the theatre. Where else could she go? He had been deployed too long to remember the area very well. _

_The fates decided to smile upon him today, however. He could hear her voice around the corner. Colt rounded with the corner with a smile that turned to confusion. Abby was standing next to a lamp with another person of the male gender. Confusion clouded Colt's mind even when the two figures clearly kissed. _

_They started walking towards an apartment, with Colt in hot pursuit. He caught up to them right when the guy pulled her close into a passionate kiss. _

"_What the fuck?" Colt snarled at the pair. Abby jumped away from the other guy, and stared with shock at him. Colt shoved the other guy (he could easily take this guy), and cocked his fist backwards for a jaw breaking punch. Then he remembered that humans weren't the enemy, batarians were. The memory of humans screaming at Elysium stopped him from adding more. _

_Pain he normally got from running wasn't present in this retreat. His recovering right leg didn't protest as he jogged out of that suffocating apartment building. _

"_Colt! Colt stop!" Abby was following him quite easily. He jogged a few more steps before turning abruptly on her._

"_WHAT?!" He screamed in her face. _

_She started crying, but he didn't care. Serves her right, "It was-is-hard for me. You were deployed so long, and I needed someone to help me through your absence. I was going to end it when you came back, but I still needed an escape. The echoes of Elysium are hard on me."_

"_Elysium was hard on _you_? I practically killed my younger brother, I watched people being shot up and shelled, and I was alone for hours fighting against a never ending tide of batarians!" Colt spat the word batarian. "Now tell me how it's hard on you!" _

"_I'm the one picking up the pieces. I'm the one that has to somehow repair you, and I have no idea how to," she tried to put a hand on his face, but he jerked his head away. "Elysium changed you," the words were whispered, but it felt like a frigate had hit him. _

"_Wow, didn't realize that one! Thanks for telling me Abby, now maybe I can be in peace. Any other insightful observations?" Colt was in her face again. She was an awful person. _

_His words pissed her off, he could tell. Her eyes turned from apologetic to fury, "You are so screwed up! I can't believe you. That's the way you soldier types are! You want to do all this stuff, go off and have your adventures, get your glory, and then you come back messed up, expecting everyone else to wait for you. Well, you know what? I got tired of waiting, and I'm tired of fixing you!" _

"_I managed to keep myself in check the whole time I was gone! I flew around the galaxy, and didn't cheat on you once. Every place I went had asari, Abby, and everyone loves asari. So why don't you and your new boyfriend cry me a river? There is no part of me that feels remotely sorry for you. I wish you the best with your new lover. With any luck he won't be totally fucked up! Goodbye Abigail," he grumbled before jogging away. There was nothing else for him. There was no one else in his life. They had all left one way or another. He was alone and forgotten. _

…

"Liara!" Colt yelled after the rapidly retreating figure. She had stared at him for a few seconds, and then she just started walking away. Colt stood in between his friends and Liara, trying to decide if he should let her go, or follow her. Everyone else was looking at him with disbelief. Doctor Chakwas' eyes were dark with the truth. He would've stayed to talk to them, but he couldn't just let Liara go.

"Liara!" He started jogging after her desperately. She was already going pretty fast, and when he got near her, she started running. He would've caught up to her quite easily, but she kept taking sharp turns. A logical pattern of running didn't seem to exist, she simply just ran, and Shepard followed.

When they arrived at a hover car rental place, Colt didn't really think of the significance until Liara had already climbed into one. Without thinking anything through, Colt jumped through one of the open windows in the back seat. Seconds later, the hover car took off. "Liara put the hover car down," he said gently, while leaning forward into the space between the front seats.

His heart sank when she glanced at him with wet eyes. Liara listened to his request and parked the hover car off to the side. The silence between them was only interrupted by Liara's sobbing. What could Colt say to right this? Instead of reassuring her, he went with his own needs. He was disgustingly selfish. "Please don't leave me," his voice was so full of emotion he barely recognized it. Panic arose in his systems when Liara said nothing. "If you leave me, I don't know what I'll do," he barely got this out through the lump in his throat. Colt climbed into the passenger seat to see her more clearly.

"I'm not going to leave you," Liara managed a smile with her words. He didn't know who to thank. What a feeling relief is. Colt's whole body relaxed, and he no longer felt like he might have to flee at any moment. He half pulled Liara closer, and half dragged himself towards her. When their lips met, it was salty from Liara's tears. Not one part of Colt cared.

"Thank you," he whispered after a much too short kiss. He rested his forehead against hers, and gazed at her downcast eyes. She should've stayed away from him and all the heartache he seemed to bring people. Between the Reapers, Cerberus, and his cybernetics, he wouldn't live long. Why had someone like Liara gotten mixed up with him? He wasn't a good person, and she was practically perfect, so why did she stay? Probably because she loved Commander Shepard.

"You _should_ leave me," he turned his head so he wouldn't have to see her reaction.

"Didn't you just beg me not to leave you?" Liara laughed without humor. He was still turned away.

"Just because I don't want you to leave, doesn't mean you shouldn't," he murmured.

A soft hand reached out, gently turning his chin towards Liara. "I will not leave you," her voice was as powerful and reassuring as her words.

Colt stared at her for awhile, trying to see if she was sincere. His next words could not be said if she didn't mean it. No one else had looked at him the way she was looking at him. It gave him all the courage he needed. "Liara...I like you a lot. This sounds so corny, but ya...I-ah-well-I love you," Colt wasn't able to look at her. It was a big enough step to say the L-word. The Shepards did not say the L-word, so this was new territory. He only used it when talking about things like food, or pets. Not people, and certainly not the ones who deserved it.

Liara blinked at him for a few seconds, before a huge grin spread across her face. She didn't say anything for a bit, so he resigned to his fate. Liara would never need him as much as he needed her. So naturally he started to talk much too fast to cover himself, "I'm sorry. I know that you've always just wanted a casual relationship. I mean you're like twenty one, so why'd you want something serious. Plus you're kinda old for me...Wow, that sounded bad. Not like that, like maturity wise. I'm too immature for someone like yourself. You've always been someone who would eventually marry a serious doctor, and have tons of serious blue children. Actually it's weird that you ever liked someone like me. Now you understand my humor, but before you had no idea what I was talking about. I have enjoyed your off-beat jokes however... I'm not very good at this. You don't have an off-beat sense of humor-"

His ramblings were interrupted by purple lips. The kiss itself was very unsatisfactory, since it lasted only a couple of seconds. It was obviously used to shut him up, but he was okay with that. She laced a hand through his hair, which was an odd sensation since he had a shaved head for the past twelve years.

She rested her head on his shoulder. Liara's heavy breathing was interrupted when she said, "I love you too... but Goddess you talk a lot."

"I recall you telling me that my voice was sexy. So I was making you feel better," a smile made its way across her face at his words. Colt's own smile faded when he realized that they would have to discuss his cybernetics, "I'm sorry I didn't tell you about the cybernetics. I was going to, but I couldn't figure out a way to explain it."

Liara started crying again. He was going to start crying if she kept going like this. "You're going to get through this. We'll live through the Reaper War, and the cybernetics. Then we'll have all those little blue babies, okay?"

Then Colt did something incredibly stupid. Something that he would probably not be able to fulfill. "I promise that I'm always coming back. I'll live through all of this for you...and Garrus. Actually the whole crew, but especially you." He smiled at her hopefully. Liara laughed lightly.

"I'll hold you to that... About earlier, did you not think I was going to say it back?" Liara was so close that he could feel her heat.

"Well, it took you awhile to say it back. I'll admit, I was worried for a second," he stopped when he saw how amused she was. "What?"

"I have felt this strongly about you for awhile now, but I didn't think you felt the same. I thought you were the one who saw us as casual," Liara explained.

"We're good at communicating," Colt laughed at his own joke (people didn't realize how funny he thought he was). "We should probably go back to the others. I kinda left them to find you," they looked at each other regretfully before they got back into their own seats. So they had gone from a casual relationship to something important, and real. They would never be the same.

…

**A/N: It only took sixty something chapters. Good things do happen to patient readers.**


	64. Elysium Heroes

**Chapter Sixty Two: Elysium Heroes **

"How many times have you died Shepard?" Garrus asked thoughtfully. He was looking over Colt with narrowed eyes. Liara and Shepard had caught up with the dazed crew at some bar. Every single one was nursing something alcoholic. He had never driven so many people to drink.

"What's your definition of dead?" Shepard's words were careful, and his voice guarded. They were approaching not-so pleasant territory too quickly.

"No heartbeat, and no breathing," Garrus offered, to which the majority nodded their heads in agreement.

"Definitely twice, and possibly another two times," Shepard replied without his usual playful, arrogant tone.

"How are you iffy on two deaths?" James' voice sounded slightly impressed. Shepard hated that he would have to disappoint him.

"Well, I passed out before I knew what hit me. The doctors never really told me if I had technically died. They just fixed me, and sent me merrily on my way," Shepard took a shot of Ryncol before someone asked another question.

"So are you going to tell us about it?" Traynor asked after the silence had gone awkward. Awkward silences almost never happened when Shepard was around. He always had something to say, but this was a topic that played too close to things he would like to let go.

"Well one time was from the Collectors blowing me up," he caught Joker's face turn pale out the corner of his eye. This night would go down as the day he made the most people feel bad, "The others are stories I'll tell you another day. They aren't pleasant."

Silence fell over everyone. It suffocated Shepard, and allowed unpleasant memories in. He hated being alone for the very reason of it being silent. James was the finally the one to cut through the atmosphere, "If you've died so many times, then why would cybernetics kick you over?"

"That, my friend, is dangerous thinking. If you think I'm invincible, you'll be sorely disappointed," Colt added to the cheery mood. Liara placed a hand on his shoulder, probably for her comfort more than his. No illusions surrounded him regarding death. He had been around it long enough to know that it struck with little prejudice, and he got the feeling that his sand was running low.

No one said another word for a while after that. Colt knew that some people currently sitting next to him looked up to him. Hero-worship would be a good word for it. If they got the belief that he wouldn't die into their heads, it would be awful when something eventually happened to him. "I think it's time to get back on the _Normandy," _Colt supplied. He didn't want everyone getting drunk.

"I like your hair," Liara whispered to Shepard on the way out. She briefly ran her hand through it.

"I love my hair too. The best part about defeating the Reapers is gonna be letting it get long. Then I can shake my head, and feel all manly with my curls of steel waving around. I can already imagine standing on some planet, looking dramatically over it, and having the wind whip through my hair. That's my dream Liara. That's what keeps me going after the Reapers. My beloved hair," Shepard ran his own hand through it. When they got back he would have to shave it off again. The thought was awful.

...

"Commander Shepard, we have intercepted a distress call," EDI's voice cut through the current nightmare Shepard was experiencing. It was the usual dark forest with everyone he had ever met speaking to him. Their voices were mostly inaudible whispers, but he could pick out sentences here and there.

"Thanks EDI, send a report about it to my inbox. I'll make a decision about it when I know the full story," Shepard stumbled out of his bed, and made his way to his email. Liara had been here when he fell asleep, but she was gone now. No doubt to do Shadow Broker stuff. Sometimes he thought that she slept less than he did.

"Commander, I'm sorry about waking you," EDI's voice carried no emotion, but Shepard knew she was sincere.

"It's all good EDI. I need to know about these things anyways, plus you got me out of a particularly bad nightmare," Colt stared at his email. For some reason he was completely comfortable talking to EDI, and often found himself telling her things he would never tell another crew member. For example, he would never tell Garrus or James about his nightmares.

She hadn't sent the report yet, so he decided to stare at the screen until it came. He couldn't take looking through any more of his emails; he was terrified of it. In a way it was worse than going on missions. His email was unpredictable, entirely uncontrollable, and at times devastating.

"You do not sleep enough Shepard. You should really talk to Doctor Chakwas," EDI suggested. Her assessment of the distress call also arrived in his inbox.

"You're probably right. Remind me to talk with her at decent hour," Shepard's voice trailed off at the end since he was focusing on the report. The distress beacon was sent from a ship in Reaper controlled territory, and three escape pods were fired. It would be relatively easy to alter their course, and pick up the crew. "I do believe our plans have changed a bit," Shepard stood to tell Joker about the new situation.

…

"No need to wake anyone, I'll just get on the pods, chat with the survivors a bit, then get em' aboard. Actually, wake up Adams please, he needs to know that he'll be in charge for a little. Plus Cortez, I need someone to chauffeur me," Colt stood a little behind Joker's chair, wearing his full breather suit. He knew he could have just worn armor, but it was better to be safe than sorry.

"Won't everyone be kinda mad that a whole other crew is on aboard? I can totally imagine James waking up, and freaking out. You know, freaking out with bullets," Joker never got old. Seriously, the material he pulled out of his ass was impressive. Shepard was actually jealous of his sense of humor. Shepard had recently come to the conclusion that Joker, Garrus, and he were like the Three Humor Musketeers (actually the entire _Normandy _crew was extremely hilarious, so that was a little unfair). Except Shepard was the funniest, obviously.

"Well I'll calm him down with my charisma, and diplomacy...or a taser," Shepard replied quietly. Joker turned fully around, and just stared. Shepard stared back. Then they promptly burst into laughter.

"Sounds like a plan, Commander," Joker turned back, and started waking the appropriate people. Shepard watched space fly by in a sort of trance.

...

By the time morning had arrived (or morning on the _Normandy_) the occupants of all three shuttles had been taken on board. A passing ship had offered to take them, and Shepard readily agreed. He wasn't against taking civilians aboard in the least bit, but they did hinder his efforts a little. Before anyone awoke, their temporary passengers were gone. All except one.

One of the shuttles contained a friend of Shepard's. His name was Grayson Jones, a former Lieutenant. He was one of the closest friends Shepard had on his very first ship assignment. When Elysium rolled around he was part of the Alliance group that helped the local police. He helped fight the Batarians for a little before he left to evacuate the colony, leaving Shepard alone.

He wanted to get off at a colony near Eden Prime (their next destination), so Shepard allowed him to stay aboard. They were good friends after all.

Shepard decided to take a nap, and when he awoke he found a bunch of people in the mess hall listening to Grayson's stories, "So Colt walks out onto this stunning, snowy planet. He had the most dramatic pose, and he simply just stares at the snow. Then he turns to us with the same angelic look and says, 'SNUH.' He said it angrily too, like it slapped his mother. To this day I can't go somewhere snowy without hearing snuh."

Grayson let the chuckles die out before his next story, "When we were on Elysium, Colt got shot in the thigh. I asked him if he was alright, and he shouted back, 'My genetic legacy is fine!'" That got everyone laughing. Liara looked at Shepard with a smile, and laughed. It almost made getting shot worth it.

"Another time a slightly higher ranking officer than us asked him, 'In your honest opinion, what do I remind you of?' Now keep in mind this woman was the most intimidating person I have ever met," Greyson explained.

"Her soul was made out of broken dreams, her enemies' tears, and the crushed spirits of subordinates," Colt thought he should add to the imagery.

"So he looks her straight in the eye and replies, 'In my honest opinion, you remind me of a spider that eats their mate.' That was the first and last time she ever laughed... I'm kinda sad she kicked it on Elysium," Grayson slipped into a sad tone at the end. Everything was so heavy lately, and it was driving Colt nuts.

"What happened to the rest of us?" He was talking about the small group of people who lived through the initial shelling and waves of batarians. Later in the invasion all but Colt would leave to evacuate the people. He hadn't talked to the Elysium people in years.

"Well, Laura got killed in action about a year after Elysium, Jack and Coby shot themselves, Martin hung himself, and Darcy got sent to a mental health facility," Grayson said this without much emotion. Time had probably allowed him to get used to the idea.

"Ah," Shepard stared at his hand for a second, wondering why he didn't have something alcoholic. All of his old friends were...dead. He wondered if the _Normandy _had enough liquor to get him drunk.

Liara had been far away from him, standing near the kitchen's little island, but now she was at his side. He was a master at hiding emotions, but she actually felt what he was feeling so it was a little difficult keeping things from her. She put a blue hand over his.

"I guess they couldn't handle Elysium like we could," Grayson shrugged. What a joke his words were.

"Commander, may I have a word with you in private?" EDI saved Colt from remembering.

"Of course," Colt was so relieved that he practically skipped into the med bay. "So what's up?"

"Commander, it appears that Grayson is wanted by the Alliance," EDI's voice echoed in the empty med-bay. It took a little while for Shepard to process this information. When it finally sank in, Shepard glanced at his old friend. Something had seemed odd about him. Shepard could probably negotiate on his behalf, so he wasn't very concerned.

"Are you sure?" Shepard asked the ceiling.

"Positive," EDI was rarely, if ever wrong.

"Well alright. I'll put him in the brig for now, but I'll be able to negotiate with the Alliance. Send whoever is in charge of this case a message saying that we have him in custody," Shepard said a little absent mindedly.

"Message sent. Aren't you concerned about his reaction?" EDI's voice surprised him.

"No, he's a good man. Plus, I'll remind him that my status will be able to sway whomever this concerns," Shepard replied easily.

He waited for EDI, but she said nothing more. Some handcuffs were under the mess hall cushions, so he walked out of the mess hall to his companions. The majority was still sitting in the mess hall listening to Grayson. "Well, I have some bad news Grayson," Shepard started rummaging through his not-so secret weapons stash to get handcuffs. "It looks like the Alliance wants to arrest you, but don't worry-," Shepard stopped when he heard a gun cocking.

Grayson had grabbed an Ensign, and had a pistol to his head. Shepard grabbed a similar weapon, and turned slowly towards his old friend. Grayson had his arm around Ensign Copeland's neck, and the pistol's barrel to his temple. The two were by the med bay doors. He was slowing stepping towards the elevator. "If you turn me in Colt, I'll blow this kid's brains out," he moved his finger towards the trigger a little more to prove his point.

"Let's not be stupid, let Copeland go, and put the gun down," Shepard said evenly. He was well aware that Grayson probably intended to get on the elevator, ride it up to the CIC, and take control of the _Normandy. _He would never be able to, not with EDI being there, and having the capabilities to lockdown the cockpit.

Shepard chose not to activate the emergency lockdown, and EDI could only activate it with his direct orders, or force deemed lethal. A lockdown would only serve to scare Grayson. Plus, Shepard didn't intend to let him anywhere close to the elevator. "I know you, you'll hand me over to your precious Alliance in a heartbeat. I can't go, not now," Grayson was breathing heavily, and stepping towards the elevator. Shepard whistled a harsh note making a large number of the mess's occupants look at him.

Rosebud appeared next to his side. She would stop Gtayson from getting on the elevator. He whistled an even harsher note, and gestured towards Grayson with his free hand. Rosebud leaped forward, and started barking ferociously at Grayson. It was her deep bark, and frankly it intimidated Shepard a little. Then she switched to growling, which was deep, and reverberated through the mess hall. "Let him go, and put the gun down. Don't be stupid," Shepard calmly said. He could feel Liara next to him, while the rest of the ground team was strategically moving to better positions. Rosebud pushed him back into the area between the kitchen and med bay.

"Shut that Varren up!" Grayson looked wildly at Rosebud, and then back to Shepard. His finger was moving closer and closer to the trigger.

"Let Copeland go, put the gun down, and then I'll get Rosebud to stop. If you don't do this, I _will _shoot you," Shepard remained steely calm.

"You wouldn't shoot me," Grayson yelled. This needed to end now, he was getting too nervous. Shepard would not let him hurt any member of his crew.

"I will, now do as I say or I'll fire," Shepard said this with the same icy coolness.

"You wouldn't hurt a friend Colt," Grayson's eyes gleamed defiantly. He was confident that he had caught Shepard bluffing. The only problem was that Shepard wasn't bluffing. The thought of catching Shepard in a bluff made Grayson cocky, and the atmosphere changed rapidly. Before he had believed that Shepard might have had the upper hand, but now Grayson believed that he was in control. That was dangerous; he thought he could get away with doing anything. Shepard made the split second decision that he would not get the chance.

Shepard's pistol came alive, and turned Grayson's chest into pulp. Grayson stumbled backwards, and raised his own gun towards Colt. Another bullet tore through his chest, sending Shepard's friend into the metal railing between the med bay and mess hall. His hold on Copeland ripped the Ensign backwards with him. Rosebud stopped growling, but still stood in an aggressive stance.

Shepard lunged forward, and grabbed Copeland by his shirt, practically dragging him to a safer position. He also managed to grab the gun Grayson had, which he promptly put on safety and took its clip out. The force of Shepard grabbing Copeland made Grayson hit the floor. The sickening sound of a body hitting the metal flooring made almost everyone cringe. When it was clear that Grayson wouldn't mount another attack, Shepard kneeled by his side. Blood was dribbling out his mouth, and his chest had two large holes in it.

"You're so stupid! I could've figured out something for you, negotiated something. Instead you lose your head, and start waving around a gun!" Shepard was shouting in the dying man's face.

"You shot me," he replied. Surprisingly his voice was loud.

"No, you did this to yourself," Shepard closed his eyes. This was so unreal.

"I never could get it quite right after Elysium. Nothing clicked the way it used to, nothing made sense," Grayson laughed slightly which caused more blood to bubble out of his mouth. "You seem fine though, how'd you get over it?"

Shepard remained quiet for a second, simply searching his friend's face. "I didn't," Shepard had never spoken truer words. Grayson searched his face, and blinked a few times when he realized Shepard was serious.

"Make sure I go down with honor," Grayson pleaded.

"You will," Shepard promised. He listened to the gurgling noise that was no doubt Grayson trying to breathe through blood filled lungs. The noise went on for several seconds, turned into a sigh, and then turned into silence. He died with his eyes open, which were staring sadly at Shepard.

Commander Shepard was now the only Elysium hero to be alive and sane.

Colt stood slowly. He took the clip out of his own gun, and set it down on the counter a little to his left. The entire ground crew was looking at him. Someone else could clean up this mess; he needed to do paperwork or something anyways. He definitely needed to get Grayson's legacy sorted out, and a funeral arranged. Grayson deserved it.

Shepard turned around to face the mess hall. He surveyed the faces populating the area, and then started for the elevator. Rosebud padded by his side alertly. "Com-Commander, thank you for saving me," Copeland was still shaking, but he was looking at Shepard like he was a hero. The poor kid was sitting at one of the tables with a blanket around his shoulders; some people, including Doctor Chakwas, were by his side.

"You're part of my crew," he answered quickly before leaving.


	65. Prothean

**Chapter Sixty Three: Prothean **

Garrus, Liara, and Shepard were heading to the place where it all began, Eden Prime. The shuttle had video capabilities on it, so Shepard watched the colony burn. It used to be a wonderful place. Shepard had been to it before Saren had attacked. Hope used to fill the streets, and it was by far one of the most majestic places he had been. Twice now he had watched all that burn down.

"Something very important is here," Liara's voice pulled him away from the screen. "Cerberus wouldn't have mounted such a massive offensive otherwise," Liara was also watching the screen. Her eyes were hard, and showed no emotion. This war was a monster.

"Could it have something to do with the Crucible?" Shepard's mind was alive with the thought.

"Maybe, but don't get your hopes up. It could be anything Prothean," Liara's demeanor changed at that. She was now practically drooling. Garrus also noticed the change, and shot Shepard an amused look. Shepard liked to think that Liara was still an archeologist, not the Shadow Broker or a talented biotic turned soldier. It was stupid to think that way. If he dwelled on what people wanted to be instead of what they were, then he would dwell on his own misfortune regarding job choices.

"What happens to me once you find a more fascinating Prothean relic?" Shepard smiled at the reference to the early days of their relationship.

"I doubt there'll be a more dashing relic, Commander," Liara pointedly looked him over. The microphone in his ear was flooded with ahhs from the crew watching and listening back on the _Normandy. _He decided not to think about the fact that she just called him old.

"Truer words have never been spoken," Shepard beamed at Liara.

"Commander Colt Shepard, graciously taking compliments since whenever he was born," Garrus announced in a tone not matching his playful facial expression. "Liara, pretty sure we all agreed not to feed the Commander's ego or did you miss that meeting?" Shepard was not the only one allowed to be a smart ass. Damn him, and the mandibles!

"So this is the place where the Prothean beacon gave you the vision warning us about the Reapers?" Liara interrupted before Shepard could get back at Garrus. He would've much rather stayed on a lighter topic, but he was once again thrown into heavy conversation.

"Indeed it is. Ashley was actually the one who caused me to become half Prothean. She got caught in its beam, so I threw her out of the way, but then I got caught in it. Sheer luck and curiosity on Ashley's part is the main reason we ever found out about the Reapers...Not that knowing years in advance ever did anything," Shepard bitterly announced. No one had ever been more justified saying 'I told you so.'

He hated the Council for ignoring his warnings. He hated the Alliance even more - they should've readily trusted him. So many people could've been saved if they had trusted him. Something twisted had decided that he would be put in the forefront of it all, forcing him to watch the nightmares he had tried to prevent. Like it or not, Shepard had failed to stop the Reapers. He had failed. It was soul crushing.

"It did help, Shepard. Even if you think it didn't, our warnings did help," Liara looked so sure of herself. He wondered if she was naive or right.

"Something tells me that three hundred thousand batarians might disagree with you. Six months is apparently what their lives were worth and _nothing _happened in that time period to stop the Reapers," the words were out. Garrus and Liara said nothing. He was definitely turning into a bitter old man. "Sorry...I just get a little angry when I think about spending years of my life trying to prevent something that happened anyways." Yep, he was digging a bigger hole for himself. "Okay, you know what? Ignore everything I said. That was bitter, shit-for-brains Shepard speaking," his last sentence brought back a smile to his companion's faces.

"You were last here three years ago, seems longer," Garrus turned his attention to the screen. Shepard thought it was better not to say it seemed more like a year and a half for him. His death was still a touchy subject.

"I remember the reports. I was busting my ass trying to get anything on that bastard Saren. When it came through that he had attacked a colony while I sat on my ass shifting through bureaucracy...mhhm," Garrus growled, which was a little scary with his sub harmonics.

"Ah, you and bureaucracy. It's a tale filled with love, laws, and mandibles," Shepard paused when he saw Garrus' face. "...You always did prefer a straight out fight," Shepard grinned at the fact that Garrus no longer had a shortage of fights.

"And you, my friend, have a talent for finding them," Garrus flared his mandibles in the turian version of a smile. Shepard grinned like an idiot right back.

"They hit Eden Prime hard. There are survivors, but anyone close to the dig site was slaughtered," Liara returned Shepard back to the situation.

"They deserved better," Shepard felt numb to the whole thing.

"I know," Liara looked at him with sad eyes. She shouldn't have been fighting in this war. None of them should have. If only people had believed him. "The Alliance tried to get as many out as possible, but Cerberus came so quickly," she trailed off in the end.

"If we find survivors, we'll rescue them," Shepard knew they wouldn't. He was far too familiar with Cerberus's practices to have any illusions about survivors. Liara and Garrus' faces told him they thought the same.

"I'm bringing you close to the dig site," Cortez's voice made Shepard walk to the shuttle's cockpit.

"Sounds smashing," Shepard refused to respond normally. Things were too tense these days to be serious. After a nod in response, Shepard went back to the main compartment.

"Alright everyone, get ready to move," he told his group, while taking a weapon off his back. He got two excited smiles in return.

Shepard jumped off the shuttle and quickly started scanning for Cerberus. There was no one in the immediate area, so he relaxed a millimeter. Cortez had dropped them on a rocky path with makeshift housing a little ways down it. One side was a deadly drop and the other side was slightly raised with long, green grass growing on it. Mountains were far in the distance, the sky was the clearest blue Shepard had ever seen, and the tops of carefully sculpted buildings rose into the sky. Eden Prime would've been a paradise if not for the silence that meant hundreds dead, and countless more evacuated.

"You know what kind of makes me happy?" Shepard was moving cautiously down the path, but there was still absolutely no one.

"What?" Liara asked from further behind him.

"While I was gone the only thing Cerberus managed to do was travel back in time. Instead of inventing cool guns with lasers and shit, they decided to go with swords. Who the hell thought to themselves, 'You know what? I think swords are gonna be the thing, never mind the fact that a person with a sword can be shot down from a safe distance or the fact that modern armor stops swords effectively. They look fantastic, so lets hand them to every crazy person who can move quickly.' The Illusive Man must of hit his scotch, or whatever he drinks, hard one day. I can only imagine him waking up to an army armed with only swords," Shepard laughed at the thought of a hung over Illusive Man.

"Does seem like an odd way to take Cerberus. I would've gone with the lasers and shit," Garrus sounded so thoughtful.

"The swords aren't even that well made. I was practicing with one earlier and it was obvious how poorly constructed they are. If I hit one just right, I could break it in two," Shepard combat rolled into cover and quickly looked around. There was still no one.

"Why were you practicing with a sword?" Liara sounded slightly amused and slightly agitated.

"I get bored very easily Doctor," Shepard took on a defensive tone. Her reply was a long sigh. "I remember how wonderful this colony used to be," his words were more for his benefit than anyone else. Shepard looked towards the mountains for a second. He noted the smoke drifting in front of them.

"This colony survived Saren, it will survive this," Garrus's voice startled Shepard for a second. They had finally reached the silver pods used as housing, so Shepard was pretty tense. There were always more places for the bad guys to hide in places like this.

"It's easy to imagine the grimy city I lived in as a teenager being a war zone, but this place? It's so odd, so unfair. Dammit, these people didn't deserve this!" Shepard was looking at a burnt piece of metal. Someone had probably died there.

"No one deserves this," Liara stopped next to him and gave him a reassuring smile. The awful part of Colt made a list of all the people who deserved this. It was disturbingly long.

…

Fifteen thousand credits was the final tally from a couple of research pods. Shepard didn't want to rob the place, but he needed the money desperately. So far he hadn't told anyone about his money situation, so he still relied a great deal on missions for treatment money. He also managed to gather quite a bit of information that would help the remaining colonists. Liara sent it out to the resistance. With any luck no one else would die.

The group was moving between housing pods when they all simultaneously caught sight of something Prothean. "So Liara, ever dug up any...what's the word? Dinosaurs?" Garrus was a master at ruining dramatic moments.

Liara was scanning something with her omni-tool. "No, dinosaurs are for paleontologists. I'm an archaeologist, so I study artifacts from sapient species. The two fields are completely different and... you were joking," Liara turned away from her omni-tool for a second. She glanced at Garrus with such embarrassment that Shepard had a flashback to the SR-1.

Garrus and Shepard looked at each other before bursting into laughter. Over the years Shepard had carefully cultivated Liara's sense of humor to the point where jokes rarely got past her, so this was a rarity. It was nice to see a part of the past reemerge. Also, it was kind of nice to see the all powerful Shadow Broker get flummoxed. "Maybe a bit," Garrus was still laughing through his words.

"What would I do without the two of you?" Liara finished scanning and started towards the human.

"You would probably be digging underground somewhere for a Prothean belt buckle thinking to yourself, 'Why don't I have two comedic geniuses as best friends?'" Shepard couldn't get over how funny he was to himself.

"I'm almost positive that's what would've happened," Liara replied. She was typing at the controls to an elevator Shepard had found. "Goddess!"

"Actually I'm male, but I appreciate the thought," Shepard had been waiting to use that.

Liara laughed, hard, for about three seconds before she became serious again, "This isn't a Prothean relic, it's an actual Prothean."

Shepard watched in stunned silence as a platform with some sort of pod on it was lifted to their level. Liara wasn't kidding; he could feel its presence. The part of his mind that was Prothean came alive. Partial visions, cut off words, and letters took center stage in his mind.

"Commander, Shepard, Colt!" Liara's voice steadily grew louder. "Are you okay?"

"Fine, why?" Shepard focused his eyes on her.

"Your eyes changed colors, and you started talking in a language my translator didn't pick up," Liara was looking at him like he had finally lost it. The only appropriate response was a shoulder shrug.

Liara looked over him worriedly and then jumped into Prothean culture. It was very similar to ancient asari culture. Colt managed to earn good boyfriend points by complimenting the asari people a couple of times. She also said that he probably knew as much about Protheans as she did. That was totally untrue; compared to Liara, the Protheans knew little about themselves. After a rather interesting lecture about Protheans from Liara, they headed out to get the information needed to open the pod.

Three of the galaxy's best almost died at the same time. A Cerberus shuttle flew straight at their position; only all three dropping to the ground saved them from getting decapitated. This only served to throw Shepard into a rage, who did a biotic charge into a trooper. The trooper stumbled back from the hit, making it easy for Shepard to finish him with a single shotgun blast. Then he did a biotic charge into another Cerberus trooper, killing him with a nova. In a couple minutes he had killed six Cerberus troopers in much the same way.

Shepard loved the noises biotic powers made, it sounded like the air around him was being warped before turning into a noise reminiscent of an explosion. The combination of manipulating dark energy and his own yells made it sound like war. An intoxicating sound. His relentless biotic attacks made the previously silent colony very noisy.

"I fucking love biotics!" Shepard announced to his companions when they got to him. Neither of them had fired a shot during that scuffle.

…

Odds things were happening to Colt. His mind was going between his native English language and Prothean language. He kept accidently ordering his ground crew to do things in Prothean. The pod data they collected from Prothean recordings certainly didn't help. Liara told him that his eyes changed colors again and that he kept muttering stuff in Prothean. Weirder still was everyone else's inability to understand the message. The crew back on the _Normandy _said they couldn't understand the messages either. Everyone else saw static, while Shepard saw a race being obliterated.

Even during combat he was off. He was still able to kill whole groups of enemies with only a few biotic attacks, but he wasn't entirely focused. No one else seemed to notice, so he kept quiet about what was happening in his mind.

Somehow he made it through all the confusion in his mind to the point where they opened the Prothean's pod. He would never know he fought a mech in this state of mind. Everything was on autopilot at this point. His fingers knew exactly what to type to open the pod, but if he thought about it he no longer knew. Same thing when it actually opened, Shepard saw the Prothean, but didn't really look at it.

"Goddess!" Liara was pretty much bouncing up and down when she saw the Prothean, "It might take him awhile to regain full consciousness." She barely took her eyes off the Prothean to tell Shepard this. Jealousy coursed through his veins at that.

The Prothean dude opened his eyes and looked over all three of them. Shepard smiled at him, while preparing a welcome speech inside his head. Before anyone could say anything, a biotic hit sent all three flying. Mr. Prothean's biotics mostly hit Garrus, knocking him out, but Shepard and Liara got a dose. In fact the wave caught Shepard in the stomach, making his pre-existing issue flare up. It was certainly a fight keeping himself from vomiting blood.

Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Liara getting up. Thank God she wasn't hurt very badly. Garrus was still out, and he was still getting through a cybernetic attack. Shepard knew he was a hot-headed individual, but knowing that didn't stop from rage setting in. Pain tended to throw Shepard into a blind rage.

Colt jumped up from his position on the ground and followed the retreating Prothean. "Be careful, he's still confused," Liara called after him. Shepard jogged up to the Prothean, caught the back of his armor throwing the Prothean to the ground. Pain flared from his stomach, making him even madder. His right fist built up biotic energy for a punch that the Prothean would never forget, if he survived it. How dare he knock out one of his friends, hurt his girlfriend, and remind him of his cybernetic problem.

"Stop," Liara was behind him, with a hand on his shoulder. "You'll kill him," he turned to look her in the eye. They looked at each other for a few seconds before Shepard let his biotics dissipate. The Commander turned back towards the Prothean he was about to kill for no reason and offered a hand to him. Immediately he was thrown back fifty thousand years.

The same Prothean they had gotten out of that pod was also the star of all of these visions. This Prothean was racing around trying to get his people into life pods, but ultimately it appeared that only a few hundred would make it. A series of massive explosions secured his life pod's position. Then it came out that his name was Javik, Commander Javik.

"How am I supposed to save a people with only a few hundred members?" Javik stared at the ceiling of his pod.

"Adjustments must be made. The neutron purge has compromised the facility," another voice came through the pod.

"Clarify?" Javik was a soldier, not a scientist.

"Time reactivation is not possible, you will have to be awoken manually," the different voice responded. "You will remain in stasis until another culture awakens you. This will lead to a power shortage."

Javik realized what that meant the same time Shepard did. "DO NOT SHUT OFF MORE PODS!" Javik roared into the tiny space, trying to sit up. "I need the people who are left," this was said with more desperation than anger.

"Power will be placed where it's needed," the voice carried no emotion. Implications hung heavy. "You will be the voice of our people, Commander."

"I will be more than that," Javik growled before the vision ended. The stress of the meld made both Commander Shepard and Javik fall to their hands and knees.

"How many more?" Javik asked weakly. Colt was already back on his feet.

Shepard felt really bad for almost killing him earlier, "You're the only one." Shepard realized that they weren't speaking in Prothean, "Why aren't we speaking in Prothean?"

"I read your physiology and know your base language. We can speak in Prothean if you wish, I know that you speak it fluently, but I suspect that your companions will want to know what we're saying," Javik finally got to his feet.

"So you read me while I saw..." Shepard's mind still wasn't doing too well.

"Our last moments. Our failure," Javik seemed to have completely forgotten that Shepard would've killed him if not for Liara. Shepard was not unhappy about Javik's forgetfulness in the least.

Colt stepped around to look Javik in his face, "It was not a failure. Your people did everything they could and never gave up. None of those things are a failure."

"Shepard, you got Cerberus all stirred up," Cortez, unexpectedly contacted him.

Liara got closer and Garrus walked from where he had been knocked out. "Asari, turian, human. I am surrounded by primitives," Javik boosted everyone's self-esteem.

"We can't stay here. Will you join us?" Shepard stepped towards the Prothean.

"You fight the Reapers?" Javik looked at him with two of his four eyes.

"Actually, that's all I do," Shepard's life was revived to defeat the Reapers. That was his only purpose.

"Then we shall see," Javik turned to face Shepard completely. In an attempt at earning another ally, Shepard reached out his hand for a handshake. The Prothean stared at him, didn't take his hand, and walked away. Maybe he was still bitter about Shepard trying to kill him.


	66. The Commanders

**Chapter Sixty Four: The Commanders**

"So...a living Prothean Commander?" Admiral Hackett looked and sounded amazed for the first time in probably forever.

"Yes, sir. He's a little different than I thought however," Shepard remembered how rude he initially was.

"Before committing a full scale attack on Cerberus and the Reapers, we need resources, lots of resources. We need this Prothean, we need him for the Crucible, and we need him for knowledge. He's invaluable to us," Hackett always seemed to stare into Shepard's soul. This conversation was no exception.

"Understood, Admiral," Shepard nodded in agreement.

"We're losing colonies left and right. We consider ourselves lucky if half the population is able to evacuate. The Reapers are a foe we've never experienced. No one has ever been quicker or a more efficient enemy," Hackett's words sounded despairing, but his voice never wavered.

"The Prothean has experienced a force like this before," Shepard had to stop from shuddering. The memories he saw on Eden Prime were fast becoming his reality.

"You think he'll help us?" Hackett put his hand on his face in thought.

"I'm going to find out," Shepard's words sounded a little more menacing than he had meant.

"Good. Cerberus messed up big time, and gave us a new weapon, a new advantage. Don't waste it, Commander. Hackett out," the blue hologram of his superior shimmered and went out.

Colt was still upset with himself for flying into a rage on Eden Prime. Hackett was right, Javik was an important asset and Colt had nearly thrown that away in a fit of rage. He knew that he had a slight hot-headed personality, but that behavior was extreme. Colt saw himself as a full paragon, only killing when there were no other options. Usually the only overly aggressive thing he did was yell at people until they did what he wanted. How did he go from yelling to almost killing someone important to the war?

"Shepard, I need you in the port cargo hold," Liara's voice interrupted his disturbing thoughts. He would pick Rosebud up from his room before meeting her.

"I see, Ms. T'Soni," Shepard's voice turned deeper than its normal tone.

"It's about our new guest," Liara pointedly said. On second thought, Rosebud could stay in his room.

"Right," Colt sighed, "I'll be down in a couple of minutes." Leaving Rosebud was probably a wise choice, in case Javik decided that Varren meat was on the menu.

…

Colt didn't remember ordering anyone to guard the port cargo hold. That's exactly what he found when he went down there, two of his Ensigns with heavy gun power waiting at the door. Did Javik attack someone?

He walked into Grunt's old place to find four other guards with Javik, and Liara pacing around. Three of them held some serious firepower. Was his entire ship guarding the damn Prothean? Why didn't he know shit when he was the commanding officer?

Liara stalked up to him, fire dancing in her eyes. Something had pissed her off. "I've tried to make the room more accommodating, but they won't let me get near him or talk to him," Liara was so calm when she was angry. Maybe he needed to take notes from her.

"We apologize Doctor, but the Council's protocols for a new species says to assume hostility," Engineer Adams explained. No wonder all this had happened without his knowledge, his XO had ordered it. "I had to dust off the regulations to figure this all out," Adams smiled at Shepard.

Javik looked up slowly from where he knelt on the ground. Even from this distance, Shepard could feel how powerful Javik was in terms of biotics. Perhaps Adams was right to have so many armed guards.

"He's not new, though. I've studied Protheans my whole life," Liara was excited about Javik, he could feel it. This was a strong emotion too. Even if they weren't linked, Shepard would've been able to feel her excitement. Jealousy flowed through his veins once again, so strong it almost cancelled out Liara's excitement in his mind.

"At ease, guys. Our new guest won't be a problem," Shepard walked through the small army guarding Javik. "Will he?" Shepard said the words as more of a challenge than a question.

Javik stood up, "That depends on you."

"He won't be a problem, all of you may leave. Except for the Doctor," Shepard stared at Javik.

Engineer Adams stepped closer to Colt, "Commander, perhaps we should wait awhile-"

"That's an order," Colt didn't take his eyes off Javik once. He ordered them to leave because he knew Javik would read him soon. His crew didn't need to know what Javik would find.

"Understood Commander," Adams slapped off a salute, and proceeded to leave with the others. As soon as they left Javik lunged forward, grabbing Shepard's broad shoulders.

"I sense that you're angry at a great deal of people. You're jealous of me. I sense that you are a very troubled person. An air of guilt surrounds you everyday," Javik let him go.

"You sense?" Liara asked with confusion in her voice. Shepard breathed in relief when Liara's questions were directed at how Javik knew things, not what he knew.

"All life provides clues into individual lives for those who can read it. It's in your cells, your DNA. Memories, experiences, all those things are a biological marker. I just read his surface emotions and those that re-occur most often," Javik turned around and started playing around in some water.

"Were the visions on Eden Prime things that were imprinted on you?" Colt was eager to steer this conversation away from him.

"Precisely. That battle left a permanent marker on me, just like your experiences do to you both," Javik continued to play in water. Weird how the conversation was so serious and yet one of them was messing around with water. What was weirder was that it wasn't Colt being the odd ball.

"Is that like your beacons?" Liara asked, pacing next to Shepard. He decided to let her ask the questions for the bit. There was no need for him to ask questions, he already knew all the answers so far.

"Exactly," Javik turned around and walked forward to Colt again. The air around the two was manipulated slightly as Javik read Shepard again. The vision that Colt had received four years ago, the same one that nearly destroyed his mind, flashed through his head.

"You found one! You saw the Reapers, the destruction, all of it! Why didn't you listen? Why didn't you prepare, human?!" Javik was yelling in Shepard's face. Shepard didn't feel so bad about almost killing him earlier. Actually, he was quite happy that no had brought that up, yet. With any luck it wouldn't be mentioned.

"It's Commander," Shepard hissed the words. Javik was getting him all worked up again, "No one understood your fucking warnings, in fact the fucking beacon almost killed me."

Javik blinked a few times at him, while Liara looked mortified at him. This wasn't who he was. Maybe the goddamn cybernetic medicine made him feel angry. Maybe it was the Prothean being an asshole, or better yet, maybe it was the Prothean asshole yelling at him about something he tried so hard to prevent.

"Communication is still primitive in this cycle," Javik responded, determined to provoke Shepard.

"I did what I could. We pieced together the warnings and stopped a Reaper invasion three years ago," Shepard grumped. Liara was still looking at him oddly.

"Then the extinction was delayed," Javik wanted to die or get severely hurt. Every word that came out of his mouth only served to piss Colt more off.

"We have a plan, a weapon. The Crucible," Liara walked between the two before a rather large and deadly hole was blown through the _Normandy _via biotics.

"Crucible?" Javik walked towards where Liara was typing.

"The weapon your people were working on," Liara pulled up schematics on the vid screen above them, "I was hoping you could tell us how to finish it."

"We never finished it, they already...it was too late," Javik sounded sad. That made Shepard quite happy.

"So you don't know what the Catalyst is?" Shepard asked, interested in what the Prothean had to say this time.

Javik watched the schematics turn above him, "No, I was-am a soldier, not a scientist. The only thing I know is how to kill." Shepard could finally relate to Javik. He could tell by Javik's tone that he was ashamed, much like Shepard. Neither of them were proficient at anything else, there was nothing else for them except killing. They took things from the world, and added nothing. Their skill sets earned them names like heroes, but they were murderers. He realized a minute later that Thane's speeches were starting to rub off.

"What was your mission?" Liara glided past him and gave Javik a warm smile. Shepard was going to _kill _Javik.

"My people had avatars representing different traits. Things like bravery and strength. There was one individual who represented each," Javik returned to staring at his own reflection in the water. "I was the physical embodiment of vengeance; I am the anger of a dead people. I demand blood be spilled for the blood that was lost. My purpose, my destiny, will only be fulfilled when the last Reaper is dead. I have a single purpose, after that...there's nothing else." Shepard was getting a little uncomfortable at this point. They sounded eerily similar... no, no Shepard was not Javik. Colt was a good person, who people loved for more than just his fighting capability. There was more to his life than just defeating the Reapers, right?

Liara stepped back from Javik and walked next to Shepard. Her hands were folded over her chest, a defensive stance. She looked him over with eyes clouded with worry. Sometimes he forgot that she knew what he was feeling.

"Those who share my purpose are my allies, those that do not become casualties," Javik wasn't making eye contact with any of his four creepy eyes. Good, hopefully they had established who the alpha-male was.

"In all our years of fighting these bastards, nothing has been so clean cut," Shepard shifted his weight under Liara's gaze.

"Because you still have hope that this war will end with your honor intact," Javik was testing him, wasn't he? Questioning a Shepard's honor was a dangerous game to play.

"It will, if nothing else I will have honor," Shepard meant it. God did he mean it. If they lost, then he would die with honor. If they won, it would be with honor. There was little else that was as important.

Javik stopped looking at his reflection and stalked up to his position, "Stand in the ashes of a trillion dead souls and ask the ghosts if honor matters."

"Honor matters; if the dead could talk they would say the same. It separates the Reapers from us," Shepard was in Javik's face this time.

"That's the reason we lost. We had honor, while the Reapers didn't care. They were willing to do anything to win, but we only got that way at the end," Javik looked so haunted. The look was too familiar.

"We found this at the dig site," Liara said a little desperately. She was by a floating piece of Prothean memory shard.

"That is a memory shard," Javik scowled.

"Will it help with the Crucible?" Liara had this look on her face Shepard hadn't seen in a very long time. It was wonder and passion. She looked alive.

"Not at all, it contains only pain," Javik's face had the same familiar look. Then it hardened into determination, "But I will help you fight." Shepard was secretly hoping that he wouldn't help them and they could drop him off with some Enkindlers, where he would die from his own ego imploding. "The last things the Reapers will see when they're dying is the final Prothean sending them to the grave," Javik's teeth were pretty terrifying, Shepard only just noticed.

Liara glanced at Javik with uneasiness. Shepard felt bad for dragging her into this testosterone show. "Is it okay if I ask a few more questions?"

"Here it comes," Shepard laughed.

"I've written over a dozen studies on your species, I've published in several journals," the light in Liara's eyes grew. She was someone without fighting, she was a great person without a weapon, and she would be great loss to the galaxy if something happened.

"Amusing, the asari have finally grasped the concept of a written language," Javik muttered. Shepard's sensitive ears picked up everything. Perhaps Liara being here was a good thing for the Prothean, because he was about to kill off the entire Prothean race. There should be an award for self-control.

"I didn't quite catch that," Liara narrowed her eyes at him.

"Never mind, continue," Javik said quickly. He was obviously trying to get on her good side.

"Tell us about your sensory ability," Liara's eyes resumed sparkling.

"It was common amongst my people. It allows complicated ideas to be absorbed in seconds. We grew as predators, so reading a thousand details in our environment was key. Later, we developed technology that did the same," Javik explained.

"Sounds useful," he could feel Liara's mind racing.

"Ehhh," Shepard shrugged. This earned him a scary look from Liara.

"I can feel the turmoil inside of you from seeing the extinction of our race. It forever changed the fabric of your being," Javik was currently looking into soul.

"Hey Javik, mind not revealing all my secrets in one day? I like to be mysterious," Shepard threw an arrogant smile at Liara. Javik grunted at him. "Anyways, Liara would never forgive me if I didn't ask this. What was Prothean civilization like?"

Liara was almost jumping up and down. Shepard would have to figure out a way to impress her even more than Javik did. She definitely skipped towards Javik, "Oh yes! I've always wondered about these sort of things. What kind of government did you have? Tell me about your religious beliefs, and perhaps the-"

"We are dead now, what does it matter?" Javik asked. He could feel Liara's spirit getting trampled on.

Colt unfolded his arms from his chest, "You piece of-"

"I'm sorry, it's just that studying your history has been a lifelong passion of mine," Liara cut him off and shot him a look of disbelief. He shot her back a look of 'Really, this guy is your new crush?'

"When I was born, the Reapers were already attacking. The first thing I saw was my planet burning," Javik was heading to familiar territory again. "Before the attack we were the dominant species."

"My studies indicate that you were the only ones engaged in space travel. I always found that curious," Liara was giving this guy way too much attention.

"There were multiple species under one rule. Eventually, everyone called themselves Prothean," Javik's voice was getting way too throaty. What was happening?

"What happens if they didn't want too?" Shepard wasn't interested in the answer.

"They weren't given a choice," Javik said. Colt smiled furiously. Maybe this was his chance to make Javik look bad.

"So you enslaved the other species?" Colt felt like the bad cop in an interrogation. It was glorious.

"They could oppose us if they wished, and if they won they would be in charge. Many tried, and all failed," Javik chuckled slightly.

Liara looked so crushed. Yep, Shepard was being the asshole. He should've let her live in ignorant peace. "I didn't know the Protheans were so...severe," Liara said.

What was he doing? Did he just notice that he was a total asshole or was Javik making him this way? "It was out of necessity. Early on machines rebelled against us," Javik was so calm. It made Colt feel worse. How did he have any friends if he was always like this? "We couldn't let the machines live, so it was decided that we had to unite all the organic life."

"Did it work?" Liara's excitement was back. Having a total jerk as a boyfriend was not going to bring her down.

"For a little, the Metacon War. The tides were turning until the Reapers attacked," Javik sounded sad again. This time Shepard felt bad, it was a step. "Then we realized that machines had surpassed us long ago, in ways none of us can fathom," Colt realized that there was a bigger asshole than him- The Reapers.

"Back on Eden Prime there were other stasis pods. What happened exactly?" Shepard was trying to make up for his behavior earlier.

"Our empire had been destroyed and we knew everything was coming to a close. We were the final vanguard, the best soldiers alive," Javik was obviously in an awful position. Colt could feel more guilt being added on, he had been a terrible person to the Prothean.

"More of you were supposed to survive?" Liara was close to squealing. Truth be told, Shepard was glad more hadn't survived. He was barely beating one off Liara. She would've certainly left him if there were lots of Protheans.

"Yes, a new empire would've been constructed under my leadership. We would've commanded this cycle during the Reaper fight. However, traitors in our rank, indoctrinated members, betrayed us and the Reapers discovered our plan," Javik looked lost in memories.

"How would you have commanded us exactly?" Shepard wasn't a big fan of enslavement.

"By giving you no choice. Join us, or fight the Reapers alone," Javik rumbled. He was making Liara dislike him without Shepard's help...excellent.

"Did you used to study our ancestors?" Shepard gestured to himself and Doctor T'Soni.

"Yes, we cultivated species that showed potential. Eventually you would be invited to join us. When the Reapers attacked, we ceased our studies. We hoped they would see you as too primitive," Javik glanced between the two of them. An awful part of Shepard was glad the Protheans died off; he didn't want to join their empire.

"Thanks… I think," Colt shrugged. "Is there anything, anything at all about the Crucible you can tell us?" Shepard pleaded.

"Just the stories. They told us about our scientists making a great machine, capable of defeating the Reapers," Javik nodded his head slightly, like a confirmation of the memory.

"You never saw it?" Colt was shocked.

"By that time, the Empire was in pieces. None of us knew what other sectors were doing," Javik acted like he barely remembered any of this.

"If we don't finish it soon, the same will be of us," Liara muttered darkly.

"Thanks for the confidence booster, lemon cake," Colt laughed at Liara's funny pet name. He was the only one. "Tell us about your fight with the Reapers," he quickly changed the subject.

"It lasted for centuries, but memory shards gave us memories of what happened," Javik was back into it. His voice wasn't unsure this time.

"Do you know anything about Illos?" Liara questioned. Every time he heard Illos, a fire was ignited inside him. Maybe because some of his best memories were equated with the word. He tried to catch Liara's eye, but she wasn't paying attention to him.

"Like the Crucible, I know Illos only in stories and rumors," Javik looked fierce.

"The Protheans there managed to stop the Citadel from being controlled a couple years back," Shepard realized how that sounded. "Not live Protheans, a programmed VI. I'm sorry, but no one lived," Colt felt so guilty about his earlier actions.

"I've never been to the Citadel, it was captured long before I was born," this deflated Javik again. He leaned against his pond thing.

Perhaps the most important question was asked by Colt, "Why did you lose the fight?"

"What was our strength became our greatest weakness. All of the races followed similar rules, the same doctrine, one strategy. The Reapers exploited this, we were goners. We could not adapt when needed. The smaller species became divided and confused," Javik stood back up.

"I'm happy to report that our cycle is different. Most races cooperate, but we still remain unique," Liara brought a little hope to Colt.

"Then it may be your only hope," Javik said menacingly. Liara had turned to observe Shepard while Javik spoke. Her eyes were still sparkling with admiration.

"I agree," Liara replied. Colt got the feeling that she wasn't talking about the galaxy's uniqueness.

"Thanks for talking with us, it has been enlightening," Colt meant it.

"It has been amusing for me," Javik stepped forward when Shepard did. He decided against another handshake. "It's funny to see the most primitive races of my time ruling the galaxy now," Javik spoke down upon them. Colt decided then and there that it was Javik who made him act differently. "The asari, the turians, the humans," Javik shook his head.

"The salarians," Liara pointed out.

"The lizard people evolved?" Javik was almost laughing, almost.

"I believe they're amphibian," Liara crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes. He could feel how off put she was by him. The two stared at each other for a few long moments.

"They used to eat flies," Javik's voice was gentle. Shepard had to think of some horrible things to keep himself from laughing. It didn't help that he could totally see it. "I have a question for you two now. Are you two...attached?"

Colt bounded up to Liara and threw an arm around her shoulders. Then he proceeded to plant a messy kiss on her cheek. "Nope," Colt announced. His joke did not seem to make sense in Javik's mind, so he looked at the pair in confusion. "Yes, Javik, yes we are," Colt couldn't have any fun with anyone anymore.

"You could do better," Javik told Liara.

"What the hell?" Shepard had never met someone so blatantly mean.

"On that note, I think we're going to leave now," Liara grabbed Shepard by the hand and led him out.

…

Liara could not explain what had happened between Javik and Colt. It was like a constant one upping that had caused tension that was almost visible. So many emotions had gone through Shepard that she couldn't keep track. Then there was Javik, who was disappointing. In fact she didn't really want to think about him for awhile.

"What was that?" Liara asked once they were out of Javik's room. Shepard was glaring at the ground like it was the most interesting thing on the _Normandy_ since the elevator upgrade from soul crushing slow to molasses. Then it hit her. "Commander Colt Shepard, were you jealous?"

"No," Colt mumbled. He wasn't making eye contact.

"I do believe you were," Liara shot him a smug look. It felt weird to have someone get jealous over her, she was still getting used to the idea that Shepard liked her and it had been four years. In the heat of the moment, Liara stole a kiss from her Commander.

"What was that for?" Shepard panted afterwards.

"For being you," Liara whispered, "You still didn't answer my question."

"Only a little, but it didn't help that Javik was being an asshat. Plus he was revealing some...unpleasant things. Actually I'm surprised that he didn't mention my cybernetic troubles. Shouldn't that be a marker in my soul power or whatever?" Shepard laughed at his own joke, per usual. Liara wasn't listening, however. Being reminded of her best friend and her lover's condition was devastating each time. Time had not allowed the truth to become easier. "You with me, lemon cake?" Shepard laughed at his own words, again. It was a never ending cycle.

"Yeah, I need to get things done," Liara turned from him and headed for the elevator.

...

"Hey Broker," Colt's teasing voice filled Liara's room. "Are you brokering deals?" Shepard snorted in laughter, but Liara remained silent. "Okay I get that my pun wasn't the greatest, but we can at least pretend I'm funny," he sat down next to her. Her head was turned the other way. "Liara?" Even Rosebud licking her hand violently caused no reaction.

She turned to look at her screens, but remained silent. The light from her monitors made her cheeks shine. With a start Shepard realized that she was crying. "Uhhh...Liara?" Colt asked desperately. He had never been equipped with the gift of comforting people. She continued to look at her screen and quietly cry. "Are you feeling blue?" Colt's last defense is humor.

No one has ever said a joke that managed to simultaneously be super corny, make the person it was directed at feel worse, insult the entire galaxy, and over use an already clichéd joke. Shepard had a gift. As soon as the blue joke left his mouth Liara started crying harder. He wasn't good at things like this; he was good at blowing people's heads off. Was he supposed to go away? Or maybe he was supposed to pat her shoulder.

"What's wrong?" Colt patted her shoulder. Emotional stuff was a little bit too much for Shepard to handle. Perhaps that's why the L-word was so mysterious and unused.

Liara reply was a look so hopeless; it twisted his insides into knots. That single look was what he expected to see in the mirror if the Reapers won. He was going to kill or fix whatever had caused Liara to look this way. Then reality hit him so hard his breathing halted for a few seconds.

Colt was the source. This, _this _was the very reason he had broken up with her. He didn't want to be the cause of such an awful look. What had he done? Oh yes, the cybernetic comment by Javik's place. Shepard should've known what he had done when Liara left so abruptly. He could not, would not stay here.

"Shepard," Liara called out after him when he got up. He left her room without stopping. The new destination was the med bay. Rosebud licked the scarred flesh on his right hand; he was making everyone feel bad.

Eve and Mordin were the only two in the med bay at the moment. "Mordin," Shepard called. This caused the scientist to look up at him. "Please help me," Colt stopped in front of his friend.

"Problem?" Mordin put a hand to his face and looked Shepard over. Then he started petting Rosebud, who was partially his.

"My cybernetics," Colt admitted. When Mordin said nothing Shepard stepped closer. "Please Mordin, the _Normandy _needs me. The galaxy needs me; I have to stop the Reapers!" The salarian remained silent. "I don't wanna die, okay?" This was much quieter.

"Good friend, great friend. We'll go over things with Chakwas, see what happens," Mordin finally said.

"Thank you, thank you so much," Shepard gave Mordin an enormous hug.

"Friends," Mordin smiled warmly at his Commander, his friend.


	67. Treaties and Biota-Ball

**Chapter Sixty Five: Treaties and Biota-Ball **

Colt liked the Krogan, hell he loved Wrex, and trusted Eve. However, love and trust sometimes weren't enough. Curing the genophage meant giving the Krogan people a chance. Giving them a chance meant allowing them to become productive members of the solar system, but it could also mean giving them the tools to obliterate the other races. Shepard could see things going either way. That is precisely why he had been working on a treaty.

The idea came to him while watching a documentary on the Krogan Rebellions. The Rebellions were a horrific time for the entire solar system; it left entire populations slaughtered. Krogan had been unstoppable; they had been the Reapers of a different time. Their sheer weight, secondary organ systems, thick hides, immunity to toxins, and the fact that killing them is next to impossible made them a formidable enemy. Winning would be hollow if the Krogan turned around immediately and took advantage of everyone's vulnerability.

Curing the genophage was optional. Shepard had nothing to gain from curing it, except for Krogan support. Defeating the Reapers entailed gathering all the support he could get, but getting Krogan support wouldn't be worth it if they were a danger to future generations. He could make due without them. Their chances against the Reapers severely dropped without the Krogan, however, so he wanted them with a promise of stability from them. The only sure way to do that was getting everything in writing.

For weeks now he had been working on a treaty and the time for signing was nearly upon them. Shepard planned on Wrex, Eve, the Primarch, several Human System Alliance admirals, matriarchs, and himself signing the document. At the moment he was going to discuss the conditions with Wrex.

"Shepard!" Wrex turned from his station the moment Colt walked into the war room. "I was wondering when you'd finally come around," the massive Krogan gave Shepard a bone crushing hug, making everyone in the war room laugh at the spectacle.

"Wrex, glad to see you too buddy, but you're hugging me to death," Shepard managed to get out.

"Sorry," Wrex did that chuckle that meant he wasn't really sorry. "I didn't realize how much I missed her," Wrex ran his hand over a metal side, indicating he was talking about the _Normandy_.

"Well, we missed you too Wrex. Thinking about joining me again?" Colt would have almost the entire SR-1 crew back together.

"I really want to Shepard, I do, but my people need me," Wrex blinked at him and then did a heavy sigh.

"I get it, it's fine. We both have places we need to be," Shepard really shouldn't have expected Wrex to say yes.

"But hey! I'm here in the meantime. Actually, I was kinda curious as to why I don't have a nice room like Liara. She has windows and everything," Wrex's beady eyes narrowed in laughter, "Probably because I can't kiss as well." They laughed for a good five minutes.

"I tell you what Wrex. If you are indeed a better kisser than Liara, I'll give you a nicer room. I'll even throw in a couple bottles of Ryncol to celebrate your skill," Shepard replied.

"Oh hell, I missed you Shepard," Wrex came in for another bone crushing hug. Colt could feel his soul being squeezed out of him. Despite the Krogan's legendary ferociousness, they took the cake for most frequent and thorough hugs.

"Missed you too," Shepard wheezed out. Soon his lungs would be coming out of his arse. "I was actually coming to talk to you about a treaty," Shepard was throwing out anything.

"I see," Wrex finally let Colt go. That hug made him want to sleep for the next century.

"Basically I don't want the Krogan Rebellions happening again once the genophage is cured, so I want you to sign something saying it won't," Colt believed he was in a fight with this one.

"Fine," Wrex said quite easily. This was a pleasant surprise.

"Just like that?" Shepard knew his grin was spreading across his face.

"I agree with you, it's time the Krogans became helpful to the rest of the lot," Wrex nodded his head/hump combo.

"Eve has rubbed off on you," Shepard felt his grin grow bigger.

"No, I have just realized the error of Krogan ways," Wrex puffed up slightly. Shepard continued to grin knowingly at him. "Okay, so she makes compelling arguments."

"She has you wrapped around her paw, or whatever Krogan have," Shepard knew his grin was growing into a smug look.

"Whatever. Did that salarian tell you where he got that tissue sample?" Wrex conveniently changed the subject. Shepard wasn't sure he wanted to answer the question. "My quad, Shepard. The pain medication he gave me isn't helping," Wrex's eyes glazed over with pain for a second.

Colt patted his arm in sympathy, "That's rough buddy." Wrex looked at Rosebud sadly. Then the Krogan leader picked up the varren and started petting her. Rosebud was always the main attraction, especially with Krogan. Wrex started talking to her, so Colt hung back so he didn't intrude.

...

Mordin never stopped working. Not in the way that Shepard or Liara never stopped working, he _really _never stopped working. Colt tried talking to him a few times, but was met with unfocused answers. So naturally Shepard let him work in peace; after all, the genophage was being cured. This time it was different; however, Shepard was determined to talk to his close friend. Back in his Cerberus days they were very close thanks to Rosebud (her time had been split between the two) and Shepard wanted that close bond again.

"Recommend using lots of pillows. EDI's body easily damages organic tissue. Can send lots of informational vids, brochures, packets," Mordin was speaking to the ceiling. Terror was a good way to describe what Shepard was feeling. He had stumbled onto something horrifying. Colt put his hands over Rosebud's ears; she was much too delicate to be hearing this.

"No, no. I was just curious, I'm not really considering that," Joker replied. Sweet Jesus, what had Colt stumbled upon? It was a tragedy that no one was there to cover his ears.

"Good idea to have someone, especially during war. Makes everything worthwhile, gives perspective," Mordin wisely suggested.

"I'll give that a thought Mordin. Can you do me a favor and not tell Shepard about this?" Joker sounded a little desperate. Shepard felt bad that Joker felt like he couldn't tell him something.

"Won't hear it from me," Mordin had a little smug look plastered on his face. He was staring at Colt knowingly.

"Shepard is standing right there, isn't he?" Joker sighed.

"Don't worry, I didn't hear the whole conversation," Shepard forced his voice to sound normal.

"I did," Eve shouted up. The poor Krogan looked shell shocked.

"Great," Joker sighed harder this time.

"I won't spread it around Joker. Something tells me that if I did, the _Normandy _would zigzag at just the right time and I would go flying out," Colt said this with a laugh. It was a nervous habit.

"Thanks Commander," Joker seemed so relieved. This was a topic that was obviously touchy with the galaxy's greatest pilot. Colt made a mental note to talk with him later.

"Commander?" Mordin pulled Colt from his thoughts. Rosebud was already receiving belly rubs from her other parent.

"I was hoping we could chat a bit," Shepard grinned hopefully.

Mordin did a slight smile, "About what?"

"What are you going to do after the war?" Colt was gathering ideas, just in case he survived the Reapers.

"Getting old, almost time to retire," Mordin looked at something no one else could see.

"Don't be ridiculous, you're a spring chicken. Retiring does sound nice though. Anything you have in mind?" Colt wanted to get ideas.

"Seashells. Always wanted to collect seashells. Go to beach, pleasant experience," Mordin looked so peaceful. Shepard couldn't wait to see Mordin pick up his first seashell. "Go with me?"

"You want me to collect seashells with you?" Colt smiled at the thought. It sounded like perfection.

"Yes," Mordin narrowed his eyes in what Shepard learned was a show of affection.

"After the war, I'll hunt for seashells with you. Legion should come too, he'd enjoy it," Colt smiled when he imagined the three of them walking along a beach. Then he remembered how much of a genius Mordin was, "But Mordin, you'd get bored."

"Run tests on the seashells, plus in good company," Mordin nodded towards Shepard and Rosebud.

"You and Legion would have to listen to my jokes all day. Think you can handle it?" Shepard was genuinely curious.

"Manage somehow. Legion has coping mechanisms programmed," Mordin smiled quietly. He knew how funny he was.

"It's a deal then. You, Legion, and I go seashell collecting after the war," Colt offered his hand to his friend. Mordin took it readily.

"Deal," Mordin narrowed his eyes again and thoroughly shook his hand.

Colt couldn't wait for their plans to become reality, "Now tell me about the genophage cure..."

...

Colt walked into Garrus's hideout and upon seeing him asked, "Ready for the game?"

"Oh yes...Shepard there's a dead animal on your head," Garrus was seemingly mesmerized by his hat.

"Don't worry, it's a hat. A stuffed animal hat," Colt had a lion hat on, plus his face was painted in his favorite biota-ball team's colors. He took his biota-ball seriously, especially when it came to the Lions. They were tearing up the competition this year.

"Is Liara coming?" Garrus was still eyeing the damn lion suspiciously.

"No, too busy," Colt started to lead the way out of the forward battery. Liara also mentioned how she didn't want to encroach on male bonding, but he didn't mention that to the Garrus.

"I've never been to a biota-ball stadium; do they have turian friendly food?" Garrus was looking at his shirt very intensely; it too was for the Lions. Shepard didn't go to biota-ball games unless he was in full Lions apparel.

"Garrus, we wouldn't go if they didn't. You may or may not get cranky when you're hungry," Shepard carefully explained. The trip on the painfully slow elevator was filled with arguments over who ate more.

...

"Remind me to come to every sporting event with you. Was not expecting you to take off your shirt at _every_ goal," Garrus tapped his chin. They were sitting in the hover car about to head for the _Normandy_, when everything just hit Colt.

"Get out of the car Garrus," Shepard stared at the steering wheel.

His cybernetics killing him was a carefully avoided topic, but the avoidance and silence was taking a toll. Colt needed to talk about it, needed the support. Soon he wouldn't be able to fight Cerberus or the Reapers - knowing that was a living nightmare. Colt couldn't think of anything worse. Someone, anyone, was what he needed, but everyone avoided the topic. It was getting to be too much - wading through being terminally ill alone.

"What?" Shepard didn't need to see Garrus to feel the heat behind his gaze.

"Get. Out," Colt said firmly. A moment later the hover car's door opened and closed. "Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fucking fucker. FUCK!" Colt started off muttering and ended up yelling.

"Why the FUCK does shit always happen to me?" He begged the empty car for an answer. "FUUUUUUUUCK!" He lay his head against the steering wheel, closed his eyes, and simply existed.

A few more minutes later he heard the passenger door open and Garrus slide in. Shepard was barely containing tears. When his voice wasn't so unsteady he told his friend, "The day I was made a Spectre, I was positive I would live to see two hundred. Now I know I won't see thirty five."

"Colt?" Garrus's voice was gentle, yet careful. He had never called Shepard by his first name only.

"Yeah?" Shepard still didn't raise his head.

"Never mind," Garrus sighed. A faint clicking noise was also heard, probably his mandibles.

"One year to live, Garrus... It's so goddamn unfair, and I'm going through this alone. I need a friend, I need someone there," Shepard placed his head in his hands, "Tell me I'm more than just a Reaper killer, and that I've lived a worthwhile life. I need to know if I'm a good person."

"Shepard, there is no one in this entire galaxy; actually there's no one in the entire universe who comes close to your paragon status. Sometimes I do something I shouldn't have, but you've never been like that. You have and always will do the right thing. As for a worthwhile life, if there was an award for that it would easily go to you. The number of people you have saved in the years I've known you is mind-blowing. I'd say that's worthwhile right there. Something else too, you _are_ more than a Reaper killer, or a Collector destroyer, or a Citadel Savior. You are my best friend and I'm sure many people would say the same. You've also got a whole ship full of friends who love you. You're not alone in anything," Garrus put a talon/hand on Colt's shoulder. Sometimes it takes a friend to see through tough times.

"Thank you," was the only thing Shepard could get out through the lump in his throat.

"I love you, you piece of shit," Garrus had a way with words.

"Love you too," Shepard's words just didn't quite have the same elegance. Shepard sat up, started the hover car, and headed for home. The ride was silent as each of the occupants was lost in their thoughts.

...

Liara was glancing between Garrus and Shepard when they got into the mess hall. She was having lunch with Traynor. "Did you guys hear me?" Liara's voice pulled Shepard into reality. Their answer was a blank stare. "How was it?"

Colt was silently hoping that no one would ask that question. He looked at Garrus desperately answer, since he wouldn't be able to control his answer. In fact it probably come out as tears and nonsense; the lump in his throat was too great to answer properly. Garrus knew exactly what was happening however. "It was awesome, especially when the Lions got a goal. Our dear Commander took off his shirt every time and yelled on the top of his lungs," Garrus told Liara. Colt shot a thankful look at Gar Bear, which earned him a slight mandible flare (the turian equivalent of a smile).

Liara's eyebrows rose up and a smile took up residence on her face. "Sounds like I should come next time," her eyes took in his appearance greedily.

"You should," Colt regained his control and voice.

"I like biota-ball," Traynor suggested slyly. He fully believed her; a few days ago she had been wearing a rival team's jersey.

"Fine, fine. Next time we'll take the entire _Normandy _lot out," Shepard sat down next to Liara, threw his arm around her shoulders, and grinned at Traynor. Garrus really saved his ass. He owed him one.

...

**Author's Note: I would like to thank every single person who has followed and favorited my little story. You people have great taste! A big thank you also goes out to all the lurkers (guests) of With Lions. **

**May I also point out that reviews are excellent things. They have the double purpose of giving you the power to change the story for the better (hopefully) and they also allow me to know if I'm doing Mass Effect justice. So pretty please, with Garrus shaped sprinkles on top, review.**


	68. Terms and Conditions

**Chapter Sixty Six: Terms and Conditions **

"Commander, this is the oldest data pad I have ever seen," the lawyer, Mr. Pax, said. He was an older turian who came highly recommended. Shepard wanted to go over the Krogan treaty with someone who knew something about galactic law. They were sitting in the _Normandy's _mess hall going through it.

The treaty basically said that the Krogan wouldn't repeat the Rebellions when the genophage was cured. It also gave rights to the other species to release the genophage if the Krogan got out of hand. Shepard had no idea if it meant anything to any side, but maybe there was a chance that they would honor it.

"I'm not so good at technology. A simple data pad is about the only thing I can use and even then I can barely function," Shepard said.

This conversation was bringing back a memory with Tali he had tried to forget. During their time defeating Saren, a mission came up where re-wiring was necessary. Colt couldn't even remember what he was re-wiring but he remembered what it felt like. Tali had tried to tell him that she should do it but Shepard just wouldn't hear it. Two seconds into it, he got shocked. Tali didn't stop laughing for hours and Shepard came to the realization that he was simply awful at anything technology related. It wasn't a bad lesson to learn.

"Not to worry, I can work with this," Mr. Pax swiped his talon across the data pad and started reading. Shepard watched him for a few minutes, but quickly got bored. Watching someone read was almost exciting as watching paint dry. Against his will, sleep came.

"Commander, Commander. Wake up," a rough voice woke him up from his nap. Shepard had his head thrown back on the seat in such a way that he knew he had been snoring, probably alarmingly loud. "Commander, well-I have no idea what to say," Mr. Pax said.

"If it's that bad, I can have someone else do it," Shepard wasn't too surprised at the fact his treaty was awful. "Maybe one of the admirals, but they're too busy. Hmmm..." Shepard was talking more to himself.

"You mistook what I meant, this is...amazing," Mr. Pax was looking dumbfounded at Colt. The lawyer was probably currently wondering how the technologically illiterate, famously arrogant, meathead with a gun was capable of doing anything else besides pulling a trigger.

"You sound surprised," Shepard narrowed his eyes at the turian.

"You're pulling our leg, right?" Garrus was over by the kitchen, his quest for food halted by this bombshell.

"Absolutely not. This is...I don't have words," Mr. Pax still had his mandibles on the floor. Colt surveyed the mess hall's occupants. Doctor Chakwas, Garrus, Traynor, and a few of his Ensigns had the funniest expressions Shepard had ever seen in his lifetimes. It was a combination of shock, disbelief, and astonishment mixed in with some horror. Colt threw back his head and howled in laughter.

…

That was definitely Shepard laughing. Liara had thick metal between herself and the mess, and yet she was easily hearing her favorite person's laugh wind its way around her room. As loud as it was, the whole ship could probably hear him. She came to the conclusion that A) Colt had said a joke that only a select few would understand or B) The funniest thing ever had been said and now the galaxy had nothing to look forward to. Either way she was missing out.

Liara made her way out to the mess hall where Shepard was now laughing harder. She was right about everyone hearing him because pretty much everyone was in the mess. Colt was the only one laughing and currently turning a concerning shade of red. "Your faces," Shepard got out between bursts of laughter.

He got up from the table where an unfamiliar turian sat and made his way to the kitchen laughing the whole time. Almost everyone was shaking their heads at their beloved leader and everyone was smiling at him. Happiness was contagious and Shepard was infected.

On his way to the kitchen Colt stumbled on a loose piece of carpeting. He tried to catch himself, but ended up on his face anyways. Something Prothean, presumably a swear word, came out of Shepard's mouth with the intensity of a thousand suns.

"Karma's a cold-blooded bitch Commander," James said. Shepard's right hand slowly rose from the ground, his middle finger the only one up. Liara had learned on the SR-1 that it was a common human non-verbal insult and she thought it was hilarious.

"For one day I would just like to not do something stupid. This was my opportunity and I have to trip. This is shit," Colt was still laying on the ground. Liara was close enough to hear him muttering.

"Is the master writer going to get up?" Traynor asked. This caused more laughs from the crew.

"I think I'll stay down here for a bit and wallow in my own self pity. Just leave me here to die," Shepard said. He was always so overdramatic.

"Commander, I'll just edit a few things. You could probably have this signed in the next couple of days," the new turian told the still incapacitated Colt.

"Sounds fantastic, thanks ," Colt slowly got back to his feet, "By the way I like how everyone rushed to help their friend when he tripped."

"We knew a little trip wouldn't hurt _the _Commander Shepard," Garrus said, "I have a question though. How did you manage to write something so good?"

"It's really not that unbelievable, my dear chicken-person. If you haven't noticed already, I'm not a bad diplomat. To be a decent diplomat you need decent speaking skills. Sophisticated speaking goes with sophisticated writing quite nicely," Shepard found new ways to surprise Liara everyday. A small smile spread across her face when she realized that everyone had underestimated Shepard's intelligence. If there was anything they should've learned during their time with Shepard, it was to never underestimate him.

Garrus was looking at Shepard mischievously, "Chicken-person?"

Shepard grinned, "The resemblance is uncanny."

…

Why was Liara the only asari with eyebrows? More importantly, why hadn't Colt thought that was weird earlier? Seriously, they had known each other for years and had dated for most of that time but Shepard had never thought about it. In fact he had only made the connection while watching Liara's eyebrows furrow in concentration while she straightened the medals pinned to his chest.

"Liara, why do you have eyebrows?" Colt decided that there was no use dancing around the issue.

She continued to straighten out his dress blues, medals, and sword without looking up, "They're tattoos I got when I was around eighty."

"Why?" Colt looked a little closer. The blue glow from their fish tanks cast eerie shadows across her face, making the young maiden look much older. Shepard decided that he hated seeing that, so instead he watched their fish. Liara had just gotten some Belan Jellyfish and Colt loved watching them propel easily through the water

"I was feeling very rebellious at that age. Benezia wasn't paying me any attention when I visited from the University and humans had burst onto the galactic scene. So it was the perfect storm of inspiration and craving attention. Plus I thought humans looked so expressive with eyebrows," Liara finally looked Colt in the eye. She smiled and wiggled her eyebrows.

"Did you think we were handsome and/or pretty?" Shepard flexed his arms for Liara. He enjoyed showing off to her.

"I still do," Liara answered correctly. She felt his bicep and nodded approvingly, making Colt swell with pride.

"Flatterer," Shepard would've hugged her, but he wore approximately five million medals.

"I try," Liara pecked Colt on the cheek. Cerulean met electric green eyes for a long moment. "You should probably go sign the treaty now."

"I'd rather stay and talk to you," Shepard decided it was his turn to be the flatterer.

"Believe me, I would too," Liara was winning at making him feel amazing.

"You should come," Shepard smirked at Liara, hoping to distract her from how needy he sounded.

"Do you want me too?" Liara's eyebrows/tattoos furrowed once more as she studied Colt's face.

"Ya."

"I'll come."

…

"You guys see how the press is kinda taking pictures?" Shepard asked the small posse accompanying him to the treaty signing.

"Why are we hiding in the shrubbery?" Garrus whispered.

"We're observing the battlefield before charging in. Plus I find it really funny watching you guys crouch in bushes, thinking this serves any purpose," Shepard let his words soak in.

"Shepard, you can sometimes be a total ass," James said before climbing out of the carefully sculpted island of shrubs by the walkway to the signing. Everyone groaned and climbed out after him.

"You guys can blame Traynor for that little embarrassment. She bet me I couldn't get the galaxy's best and brightest to hide in the carefully landscaped little scenes on the Citadel. Looks like she lost," Colt grinned like an idiot at each of them. "Anyways, see how the press is bored? Watch this."

Shepard cracked his back and then walked into the fenced off area. Security was supposed to be airtight, so Colt walked confidently to the center of the walk way. The response was almost immediate when the press realized who had just sauntered into center stage. Cameras started going off like crazy, reporters started shouting questions, and almost all the attention was placed on Colt. He loved it. The rest of his friends stood next to him.

"Commander, mind smiling?" Someone shouted.

"Sorry guys, the Alliance handbook states quite specifically that once in dress blues, there is to be no fun," Colt still did not smile at the camera people. He had never seen anyone smile in dress blues, so why break tradition at this point?

"Is that really what it says, punk?" Shepard turned to find a one Admiral Shepard next to him. She shot him look that would've been a smile, but they were in dress blues.

"I believe so Admiral," Colt resumed posing seriously for photographers. "I didn't know they needed the crypt keeper to sign this."

Hannah shot him a look that almost made him smile. Almost. "I didn't know they let hot-headed commanders write important treaties," Hannah easily retorted. "Anyway, I should go. Hackett is motioning at me to go do the handshakes," she patted him on the back and started to leave.

"Bye Mom, we need to have dinner or something soon," Colt said after her. She nodded in agreement and kept walking. Shepard answered a few more questions and then started heading toward the 'handshake room.'

"Commander, some people would say that you're betraying humanity," Colt had been answering questions from reporters here and there but this one caught his attention. "Going through all this trouble and putting a tremendous effort into helping turians has put some humans on edge. Some would say that you're more interested in turians than humans. They wonder if you have forgotten the First Contact War. Comments?" An asari reporter asked.

Shepard considered the question carefully. It was true that he was gaining Krogan support to help the turians but he was concerned for every species. Maybe it was wrong, but his loyalty was spread equally across the galaxy. His Spectre status had slowly erased his bias towards humans until it no longer existed. In the end everyone was a person. "The First Contact War was a massive miscommunication that holds no merit in today's society. Both sides acted the way they believed they should and now it's over. The turians have done nothing but aid humanity since then and it's time to let it go. We are more than our parent's war... I personally care about every species and race, turians included, so I try to help everyone. If the turians say they need Krogan support, then I'm going to try and give them just that. The Human Systems Alliance maintains that the turian hierarchy is a trusted ally. The turians are our friends."

Colt left it at that and continued towards the handshakes. Liara appeared at his side and despite being in his dress blues, he smiled. "Shepard, that was very well spoken...Why is everyone talking about handshakes?"

"It's a photo-op. Humans have been doing this for God-knows how long. Basically we shake hands with someone for ten minutes while our pictures get taken. Kinda odd, but we have to make sure the media gets our good side," Shepard tossed his head for emphasis.

...

Colt's hand was starting to hurt from all these handshakes that lasted ten minutes. The fact the next one shaking his hand was a young Krogan made his hand twitch. Krogan weren't known for being gentle creatures and this particular one didn't look like an exception. He was a young and upcoming warrior that Wrex insisted be in on the signing.

"Commander," the Krogan's voice was one of the deepest voices of anyone ever.

"Urdnot Jedrek, it's a pleasure finally meeting you," Shepard extended his hand for the handshake photo-op.

"The pleasure is mine," the Krogan said. It was hard to tell if his voice was malicious or just deep. Jedrek took Colt's hand and immediately had a vice grip on it. That would've been fine for a handshake that lasted a second, but it would last for ten minutes.

"Your grip is a little tight, mind relaxing your hand a little?" Colt asked. Instead of him loosening his grip; however, it tightened. "Can you loosen your grip a bit?"

"Commander, how will curing the genophage impact human-salarian diplomacy?" a reporter shouted. Pain was coursing up Shepard's arm.

"Do you think the Krogan will be accepted as a council species?" Another reporter asked. In fact they were just two of many questions, but Shepard wasn't listening anymore. How could he when his hand was currently being reduced to a small puddle?

"Let go," Colt wasn't shaking Jedrek's hand anymore. "Are you deaf? Let go of my hand," he was beyond being polite. Shepard yanked his hand from the massive Krogan, but he didn't let go. With each passing second the pain got worse.

"Commander, are you okay?" Another reporter had the decency to ask. Everyone seemed to stop when they realized something was happening, or maybe it appeared that way through pain tinted eyes.

"Please let go," Shepard asked. Soon he would pass out from the white hot pain. The Krogan's response was to twist Colt's hand to the left. Shepard let out a strangled yelp.

"YOU'RE BECOMING A NUISANCE SHEPARD. YOU WILL FEEL THIS," the Krogan's voice had changed into a mix of Jedrek's and Harbinger's. A rather large knife appeared in Jedrek's opposite hand.

Shepard had found that when the shit was starting to hit the fan, things did not slow down. Once, maybe twice, had a situation ever slowed down. The knife plunging towards his neck was almost a new experience. Shepard added this incident to the small list of things that slowed time. Colt found himself admiring the artwork on its handle while he awaited death. Screaming was loud in his ears, but far from his mind's forefront. Using his biotics didn't even cross his mind.

A blue wave sailed by him on the left side, hitting Jedrek square in his massive chest. For a horrible moment Colt was being pulled forwards with the Krogan, but Jedrek released his grip. Colt stumbled backwards; pain from his right hand was his only concern. Someone caught him from falling on his ass.

"Colt," a very familiar voice said urgently in his ear. His response was a grunt. "Say you're okay," Liara begged. Her arms were under his armpits holding him up and his head was laying against her shoulder.

"I can't detect a knife lodged in my body anywhere, so I'd say we're good... I'm glad you came," Colt got back onto his feet.

"Me too," Liara sighed. She gave him a quick, exhausted hug. "I think we're even now," Liara looked twenty years older. It took him a minute to realize that she was talking about him saving her on Therum.

"We were even a very long time ago," Colt patted her shoulder.

"Commander, are you alright?" A very timid C-Sec officer asked.

"I'll be needing a new change of pants," that earned a few strained laughs. "Besides that? I just wanna sign this damn treaty and go home."

...

Colt had to say that one of his favorite parts about living with twenty other people was that dinner was not a dull experience. Currently he was watching a couple crew members do impressions of his face before he was almost stabbed. Even Rosebud would stop eating for a moment to watch the enthusiastic imitations. Someone even said 'I should go', making everyone laugh except Colt (he was confused as to why it was so funny), which only made everyone laugh harder.

"There was a massive knife heading towards the thing I breath with. Of course I wasn't singing and dancing show tunes," Shepard tried to explain the face he made before almost being stabbed.

"I think we need to deal with our problems by singing and dancing," Garrus pressed on with this offensive.

"Fine, next time I'm about to die, I'll sing and impress whomever is trying to kill me with my outrageous dance moves," Colt did a mini dance at the table to prove his superiority. He was about to mention how everyone but Liara stared in wonder as a knife was plunging towards their leader, but something on the vid screen caught his attention.

During dinner they always had the news on, but muted. The big _Breaking News _at the bottom of the screen made Colt unmute it. "The turian hierarchy has called a press conference. It should be starting at any moment," the reporter said.

The news channel cut from the reporter to a simple stage. The stage was empty except for a lonely podium with the hierarchy's insignia on it. A few seconds later, a turian with white facial markings walked onto the platform. His face was lit up by camera flashes, but he approached the podium without giving any indication it bothered him. Blue curtains behind him and a bare stage made him really stand out. He took a moment to adjust the podium's microphone. "Good evening everyone. We called this to announce the hierarchy's decision to give additional financial compensation to those affected by the Relay 314 Incident. Our actions taken during the incident were shaped by council law regarding the activation of mass relays. However, humanity had no way of knowing these policies. A simple miscommunication between our two species led to an escalation of violence that eventually led to an intervention by the Citadel Council. New policies regarding previously unknown species have been shaped by the incident and are helping to stop unnecessary warfare. The turian hierarchy understands that our previous hesitancy to pay additional reparations to those affected has been viewed as hostility towards humans. We want to convey that that is simply not true. Humanity is a trusted ally and the Human Systems Alliance has proven itself many times over as an important group to the galactic community. Turian-human relations continue to improve and we hope that the hierarchy has made it clear that we only want the best for humanity," the turian paused for a few long seconds. The look he had on his face told Shepard he was debating whether or not to say something unscripted. Finally his eyes steeled into resolve, "Humanity is our friend."

Commander Colt Shepard could kill a million Reaper ground troops and still not feel as accomplished as he did in this moment. Shepard had taken a swing at the wall between humans and turians, and the hierarchy had pretty much just decided to demolish it. Paying back more than they were required to made it clear that the turians acknowledged they were in the wrong, something most people thought they would never do. Shepard really didn't care who was in the right and who was in the wrong. He just wanted to move past that and now they were taking giant steps towards doing just that. Of course the people affected would probably get paid when the war was over, but it was saying it out loud rather than doing it that mattered.

"What are you doing, Loco?" James asked. He could feel the eyes of an entire starship crew boring into him.

"Savoring the moment before it starts," Colt was leaning back in his chair with his eyes closed.

"Before what starts?" James said.

"Commander, Admiral Hackett wishes to speak with you. Admiral Shepard is also requesting an audience with you and Admiral Anderson just sent a request to speak with you," EDI added to the excited chatter in the mess hall.

"Shepard, I'm getting nearly six hundred messages being sent to you a minute," Traynor's eyes were bulging while typing at her omni-tool.

"That, my dear James, is what 'it' is," Colt stood to put his half eaten meal away. He didn't know saying such a simple statement about human-turian relations would result in all this, not that he was complaining. Colt let the feeling of success and moving forward leak into his soul for a moment. He wondered if people often felt this good before something went horribly wrong.


	69. For the Greater Good

**Chapter Sixty Seven: For the Greater Good**

"I contacted you to offer a deal," the salarian dalatrass shimmered blue in the holographic projector.

"I'm listening," Colt crossed his arms. He thought the dalatrass was a judgmental, half-assed politician. She thought he was the biggest douche bag to walk the galaxy. Neither of them were necessarily wrong.

"Full salarian support in exchange for not curing the genophage," the dalatrass said. Shepard's breathe caught in his throat. He had not expected their support from the get-go; this was huge. An entire Citadel species devoting resources, giving their best and brightest, and collaborating on the Crucible. This was a game changer.

"I'll consider your offer, dalatrass. If I carry through with it, I'll let you know. I expect you to hold up your end if that's what I decide," Shepard knew she would.

"We will," the dalatrass said before her image shimmered out. He had woken up this morning knowing he would cure the genophage, but now... Things were confused, hazy. Commander Shepard was unsure.

...

"Ready?" Liara asked. Wrex, Liara, Eve, and Mordin were gathered around the elevator. Shepard didn't know what to do.

"Sit down," Shepard told them. They stared at him for a second, before they all started chuckling.

"I hope you're ready to cure the genophage, Shep," Wrex gave a backbreaking slap to Colt's back.

"I said sit down," Colt growled the words. This time his tone caught their attention and turned them silent. Each did as they were ordered and walked to the tables in the mess hall section. Liara hung back, trying to catch his eye but he was ignoring her for the moment. This wasn't supposed to be so complicated.

"What's happening?" Someone asked. "Shepard, why aren't you leaving?" Another asked. "Problem?" Questions and rising voices distracted Colt from the real issue. "Shepard, is there something wrong with the cure?" A voice nearby asked. They sounded like the disembodied voices in his dreams. "Shepard, are you feeling okay?" Colt just wanted silence to think. That's all he wanted. He just wanted to hear himself.

"EVERYONE SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Colt didn't mean to scream it, but he was desperate. He needed to think. So many things hung in the balance; he needed a place to consider every option.

The awkward silence immediately following his outburst would usually drive Colt insane, but it's exactly what he wanted. "Are we going to cure thing or not?" Wrex asked after a few seconds of complete silence.

"What the _fuck _did I just say?" Colt turned his head to glare at Wrex. The Krogan shut his mouth with an audible snap. Shepard didn't mean to be an ass, but this was too important a decision to get distracted. Should he cure the genophage or sabotage it?

The greater good. Saving the majority instead of the minority. That's what Shepard uses as a guideline for tough decisions. Such a simple idea to remember, such an easy concept to grasp. He had used it on Elysium. Would saving Alex or letting him be taken affect more people positively? The answer was simple, so Colt had watched Alex scream and plead for help without moving an inch. The hundreds of thousands of people on Elysium were more important than his brother, at least that's what he thought at the time.

Why were things always back to Elysium? Shepard had no idea... Actually, he knew _exactly _why it always came back to that dreadful colony. That was the one place in his career that he could point to and say was the single event that made Commander Shepard. If not for the Skyllian Blitz he would be just another nameless Lieutenant. If not for luck he would be another name on some memorial wall. If he had died on Elysium or had stopped to catch Alex, then maybe he wouldn't be in the position he was in.

Shepard knew, he _knew _what he had to do for the greater good. Salarian support would make the Crucible construction go faster, which would save more lives. Sabotaging the genophage cure would be for the greater good. Gaining Krogan and Salarian support in one foul swoop would help the galaxy so much, it was unbelievable. Sabotaging the cure meant eliminating anyone who could potentially know it was sabotaged. That meant killing Wrex, Mordin, and Eve.

"Well, I'm going with or without you," Wrex muttered before standing up. He started towards the elevator. Shepard had not made his decision yet.

"EDI, lock down the _Normandy,"_ Colt told the ceiling. Seconds later the locks turned from green to red. Red emergency lights swept across his crew's faces. The elevator could not be used until he gave the word.

"Commander, Cortez and Vega are currently on the elevator. Should I let them continue to this deck?" EDI said. Her voice held no surprise, maybe she knew what he was thinking.

"Redirect them to any deck, but this one," Colt said. Shock radiated from his crew. They had no idea about the turmoil currently inside of him.

"What the hell Shepard?" Wrex approached aggressively. Colt felt biotics flicker over his body for a moment.

"Sit down and let me think," Shepard stood up slowly, letting the words fall out of his mouth with deliberate heaviness. Wrex's beady eyes stared at him coldly, but he did what he was told. Out of the corner of his eye, Colt saw Chakwas pull Liara away from the tables. Garrus, Chakwas, Liara, and three Ensigns hung back towards the end of the kitchen, their eyes flittering nervously between Shepard and the three in question. Colt sat down again once Wrex was settled.

If he didn't continue with his whole greater good moral code, then he was a hypocrite. It was like saying that Alex was could be sacrificed for the majority, but Wrex, Eve, and Mordin couldn't. How fucked up was that? His own brother, his own kin, was worth less than his friends. The three weren't just friends, though. They were family. Why did the dalatrass have to go and make things so unclear?

Wrex, Mordin, and Eve were smart enough to find out the cure really wasn't the cure. They would reveal his plan and support would fall apart on both sides. The Krogan would refuse help knowing the genophage wasn't really cured and the salarians would say that they didn't offer him any sort of deal. If he wanted to accept the dalatrass's offer, then it would mean killing three close friends. If he rejected it, then it would mean less support against the Reapers. Always help the majority. _Always. _The Krogans affected with the genophage were the minority. The entire galaxy would benefit from salarian and Krogan support, they were the majority. Wrex, Eve, and Mordin were the minority.


	70. Plan B is Not Good for Your Health

**Author's Note: Here's this chapter's excuse for the slow uploading time: First I went on vacation for a week and then this chapter turned into a monster chapter. One of the longest ones I've written, if not the longest. I am very sorry for the ridiculous wait. That will hopefully never happen again. **

**Chapter Sixty Eight: Plan B is Not Good for Your Health **

"EDI, how many humans have we...lost?" Colt needed to be convinced that the greater good was really worth it.

"The Alliance doesn't have solid numbers but estimates range from five to six billion," EDI answered smoothly. Colt thought that maybe hearing the numbers would convince him that Wrex, Eve, and Mordin could be sacrificed.

"What's the total casualty count?" Shepard closed his eyes and rested his head in his hands. He was preparing himself for the truth.

"Estimates range from the higher billions to lower trillions," EDI answered. The war had been going on for a little more than a month and already the losses were staggering. How could he justify not doing what was clearly the right thing with those kind of numbers?

"Contact Admiral Shepard and bring her up on the quantum entanglement thingy," it was hard to sound angry when saying the word thingy, but Colt pulled it off quite nicely, "Keep the _Normandy _locked down."

"Understood, Commander. I'm contacting her now," EDI responded.

…

"EDI, I don't want this conversation recorded. In fact make sure it doesn't exist at all," Shepard said softly while waiting for Hannah.

"I deactivated all recording devices," EDI replied an instant later. A blue form waved for a second on the holographic display before becoming solid.

"I was wondering when you wanted to talk about the indoctrinated Krogan incident. What was the bastard's name again?" Admiral Hannah Shepard still looked and sounded like Mom despite being displayed as a blue hologram. Her eyes were bright with fight, impatience, and mischief. Laugh lines were etched into her face despite being at a young age of fifty eight. Hannah looked about twenty years older than her actual age due to the permanent death of one son, the temporary death of the other, and the death of her husband, whom she was very attached to. She was easily excitable around friends and family, but famously stubborn and often opposed to compromise while she worked. A knack for ruthlessness and being a bit of a renegade was covered with a mask of personability and amusement. Colt never understood how she married his gentle father, who seemed to be an exact opposite.

"That's not why I contacted you," Colt stared at the wall.

"Okay," Hannah said no more. She looked expectantly at him.

Colt remained silent as he tried to figure out a way to explain the situation, "I can't make an important decision. I know what I should do, but I really, _really _don't want to."

"Remember, my son, the answer is always inside of you," Hannah glared seriously for a moment before laughing. "I'm just messin with you. Let's go through this."

"Full salarian support in exchange for sabotaging the genophage cure," Shepard wrung his hands nervously, "I should do it, but I'd have to kill some people to make sure I still got support. They would find out about it."

"Are these people some of your friends?" Hannah raised her eyebrows.

"Yes," Colt rubbed the top of his head.

"No way in hell would you kill any of those people. I see the vids of you and your friends all the time, that's the only damn thing the news shows nowadays, and I know that you couldn't do it," Hannah said what Colt had known all along.

"We need the salarians," Shepard said.

"If I were you, I'd play them like a fiddle. Use them, trick them," Hannah's eyes glowed with the thought of fooling someone else.

"Thanks Mom, you're a genius," Shepard's mind was running wild with this new idea.

"I know kiddo. Stay safe, okay?" Hannah smiled warmly at him. They hadn't had a nice conversation in a long, long time. Shepard was still resentful towards her.

"I'll try and you be careful too Mom," Colt noted how much they looked alike. Same eyes and nose most notably.

"I'll try," Hannah narrowed her eyes affectionately.

"So...ah...we didn't have this conversation," Shepard said.

"What conversation? Hannah out," she flickered for a moment before her image disappeared. Emptiness crept into Colt when he realized he was all alone.

...

"The salarians offered me full support if I sabotage the cure," Colt leaned heavily on the kitchen's counter with his palms. His back was turned to the small group in the Mess Hall. The cabinets he was staring at were lighter than the ones to his left. It took him a moment to realize that the color change was because he had destroyed the previous ones while fighting Jacob.

"Shepard," Wrex rumbled. A slight creak from the table indicated he had gotten up and was probably coming towards Colt. His fine-tuned ears picked up every step the Krogan took towards him. A slight buzzing feeling in the back of his mind told him that Liara was gathering biotic energy. Garrus shifted his weight foot to foot. Chakwas wrung her hands. Elevated breathing from everyone indicated that Wrex was about to ruin his day.

"Now before you snap my neck or something unfortunate like that, I want you to know that we're going to cure the genophage. What I was thinking is that we don't tell the salarians that," Colt let his words sink in. The tension dissipated almost immediately. Wrex stopped his advance and Liara let her biotics go out. "Make em' think we sabotaged it," Shepard said.

"As long as the genophage is taken care of," Wrex said from directly behind him. The Krogan's feet retreated back to the table where he originally sat.

"That's always been the first priority," Colt lied. He didn't want them to know what he had been thinking earlier, but his Mom was right, he couldn't have done it. He couldn't have done it under any circumstance. He barely killed Grayson when he was actively threatening a part of Shepard's crew. "I really, _really _want salarian support. You guys think we can pull this off?" Shepard turned around for the first time.

"Make sabotaged sample. Send in infected specimens. Get eyewitnesses," Mordin took a deep breathe, "Possible. Could only keep up the illusion for week or two."

"I don't know, fooling an entire race like that is dangerous. Especially to you, Commander," Eve looked over him with concern.

"Ehh, whatever. If the salarians knock me off, someone else can take my place pretty easily," Shepard was positive that he could kill any salarian who tried to eliminate him, so he wasn't concerned about that. "The important thing is gaining as many resources as possible. As for the short window we have, I don't need to keep it up for long. Just long enough for the salarians to send their support," Colt could see the pieces falling together nicely.

"Wouldn't they just pull their people when they figured it out?" Garrus's normally playful eyes looked him over intensely.

"And risk facing galactic-wide disapproval? I don't think so. If they do pull out, the media will have a field day. I can see the headlines now: Traitorous Salarians and Sneaky Frog People. They wouldn't risk collapsing their already strained economy," Shepard answered (he read daily reports on the economic climate for each race). "They rely on the altruism and magnanimity of the asari, as well as other races for trade. Who would want to help or trade with a race that showed zero interest in everyone else? They know isolationism would be committing economic suicide, especially with the Reapers hot on their heels. They're dependent on races who would surely abandon them if they stopped contributing."

Everyone was looking at Shepard weirdly. Garrus started clapping, "I have to admit, I had no idea you knew so many big words...But do I think we can trick the salarians? Hell ya."

Shepard turned his gaze towards Garrus. He narrowed his eyes before grinning, "Thanks for the input Garrus, and fuck you." Chakwas remained silent, so he turned to the person whose opinion mattered more than everyone else's in the whole galaxy combined. "What do you think?"

Liara and Colt had a whole conversation in a matter of seconds just using facial expressions. She told him that it was possible, very possible, but she didn't like it one bit. Shepard told her that he couldn't let this opportunity pass them by. They both felt uneasy about disagreeing.

"I believe this will work... Mordin you go and get a sample for the dalatrass ready. We're also going to need samples from those still infected. Take anyone you need. EDI, deny anyone who has requested copies of headcam footage. I want that only broadcasted to the _Normandy_. We'll figure out the footage situation later. Everyone else can hang around and look good."

"Commander, I need your pretty little ass up here," Joker's voice came over the intercom.

…

"Our sensors are picking up a Reaper near the Shroud, a shuttle won't be able to get in there," Joker pointed excitedly at a bunch readings that Shepard understood about negative two percent of.

"How convenient," Colt muttered under his breathe, "Gather everyone in the war room. I want eyes on the Shroud."

"Aye, aye sir!" Joker responded.

Shepard made his way to the war room. He finally arrived there after a few minutes. Garrus, Liara, James, Cortez, Mordin, Primarch Victus, Wrex, Eve, Traynor, and Javik were all examining a holographic picture of a Reaper when he walked in. Joker really did get _everyone. _It would've been a goddamn party if someone had thought to bring Ryncol. Why anyone brought Javik was a bit of a mystery. He would have to tell Joker that assholes were not allowed in war meetings.

"New type of Reaper. Poisoning Tuchanka with Shroud. Problematic," Mordin had one of his hands thoughtfully on his chin.

"It sucks to be poisoned," Colt took a moment to reflect on the fact that he could say that from experience.

"If they want a fight, they've got one," Wrex started pacing.

"Let's think about this before getting our quads twisted. We can't go running in without a plan, relying on only blood rage," Colt scanned the shroud and Reaper. A plan was starting to form.

"Why not?" Wrex chuckled darkly.

"Mostly because only two of us are capable of going blood rage," Colt thought about it for a minute before turning to look at Liara, "Actually three of us. The point is we need to think about this logically without emotions getting in the way... Primarch we're going to need your help."

"That could be difficult. Palaven's losses are catastrophic," Victus avoided eye contact.

"This is all for Palaven. Think about it being like a deposit. Put people in now and get the benefits later," Colt could tell he was manipulating the Primarch quite well.

"Do you have a plan, Commander?" Victus's eyes were darting between the hologram and Shepard.

"Give me a second," Colt quickly went through all the tactics he had ever learned. He stopped when he got to one that would fit this situation perfectly, "A combined attack. Your people will strike from the air, while Wrex's attack on the ground."

"A distraction. Small team can infiltrate Shroud facility, finalize synthesizing cure," Mordin nodded his head. "Eve will have to come with us," Mordin looked at the huge Krogan. She agreed with a nod of her head.

"We've never faced a Reaper so up close and personal," Shepard swept his eyes across the serious faces of his friends, "Is everyone on board?"

"I think the important question is: Are you ready for this Commander?" Traynor asked.

"Me? Hell, I was raised from the dead to do this sort of thing," Colt cracked his neck loudly; "Let's go cure the genophage."

…

"The Krogans are assembled at our sacred ground," Wrex stood in front of Colt in the crowded shuttle. Liara and James sat to his right, while Mordin and Eve sat to his left.

"Good," Shepard waited for Wrex to continue. He obviously had a lot on his mind.

"This will be a defining moment in Krogan history," Wrex looked hopefully at Shepard.

"History filled with defining moments. Mostly bloody. Hope this is better," Mordin made the passengers feel better about the mission.

"I love it when someone hypes me up for a mission. Makes me feel all gooey and delicious inside," Colt shot Mordin a grin. "Now lets all remember what the deal is," Colt looked at each face suggestively.

"The Reapers are already at the rendezvous. Be prepared to get out with guns blazing," some Krogan told Wrex.

"Commander, we're approaching the drop zone," Cortez shouted back.

Shepard slung a gun off his back while watching the door. The shuttle went downwards before the doors opened. A husk stood up and started running towards the open shuttle. Wrex and Shepard shot it at the same time, blowing the thing's head clean off. They exchanged a look before bursting into laughter. Colt didn't realize how much he missed having Wrex around.

"I'll organize the other clans, you protect the female," Wrex said after he recovered from laughing.

…

"I do love me some Novas, mmmhhhmm," Colt surveyed the damage Liara, James, and he did. Husks lay in puddles of their own innards, some only had bits and pieces left from being torn apart by biotics. Not one even reached the stairs leading to Eve. "Thrown in a couple shotgun blasts and charges and dayuumm. We've got ourselves a fight reminiscent of a warm summer day."

"What?" Liara's eyes were filled with confusion. She wasn't a horrible person, she wouldn't understand. If fighting felt so good then it couldn't be wrong.

Wrex interrupted at precisely the right moment, "They'll sing battle-songs about this one day."

"Thank God, I've always wanted a song," Shepard walked towards the small group around Wrex.

"There is a song about you," Traynor's voice came over the comm. unit connected to the _Normandy. _

"Seriously?" Colt was suddenly very excited.

"Yep," a multitude of people on the _Normandy _agreed.

"Reaper blood has finally soaked our soil!" Wrex yelled, making the Krogans around them roar. Shepard didn't mean to interrupt his inspirational speech. Shit.

"Let's get to the Shroud, the airstrike is a comin'," Colt jogged up to Wrex.

"Female safe. Vitals strong," Mordin emerged from behind Wrex and nodded at Shepard. Colt stretched his shoulders triumphantly.

"Why is there a salarian here?" Another Krogan and his herd clopped towards Mordin. "This was never part of the plan!"

"Multiple Krogan, problematic," Mordin looked at them with little interest.

"Who the hell are you?" Colt let biotic energy flow through his skin and build up inside of him.

"Urdnot Wreav, brood brother to our... wonderful leader," Wreav's words caused many cries of outrage.

"I don't care if your Wrex's mother. You so much as touch someone who isn't a Reaper thing and I'll fuck up your day. Sound like a plan?" Shepard flared his biotics slightly to get his point across.

"I love it when you're diplomatic," Garrus's voice came over the comm. this time.

"I'm feeling dangerous today," Colt said. Wreav took a step forward.

"The only thing we share is a mother, nothing more," Wrex growled.

"Yes, because I remember how to be a true Krogan. We flay our enemies alive and drown them in geysers of their own blood. We don't invite them into our house," Wreav painted a lovely picture.

"Generally I invite my enemies into my house, make them take off their shoes, and then BOOM! I poison them with tea. No one ever suspects the tea... Then I respectfully bury them and shed a tear because I needed my enemy and they needed me. Once I realize this, more manly tears are shed because their existence allowed me to feel alive. As long as the other one is alive, our actions are justified," Colt was putting in a lot of effort to stop this from escalating. What made it even better was that he constantly made tea for everyone on the _Normandy_, "But you know, different strokes for different folks. Geysers are cool too."

Colt couldn't say something without getting weird looks anymore, "Plus the salarian isn't your enemy. He's here to help cure the genophage. So you won't have to get caught up in that nasty enemy cycle."

"Why should I trust him?" Wreav seemingly ignored Shepard's advice. Instead of being logical about this situation, Wreav started towards Mordin. Biotic energy swirled around his fist, clearly intent on killing. Colt stepped in between them and head butted the angry Krogan with the ferocity of Grunt running towards the toilet on taco night. Wreav's scream combined with the crack of helmet against face was gruesome. Shepard danced backwards, noticing blood running into the Krogan's eye.

"Because I do," Wrex said, "And you will too."

Wreav recovered from the hit and pulled out a shotgun.

"Now let's be peaceful. I only did it because you were about to do something incredibly stupid. I won't do anything else if we just calm down. I'll even pinky promise I won't. I don't wanna fight anyone who isn't Cerberus or a Reaper," Colt used a reassuring tone. Wreav cocked his gun while his men pulled theirs out. Plan B went into effect.

A wail, so high pitched Shepard could barely hear it, screeched around him. Blue biotic energy started whipping and turning around his body. Small bits of debris flew into the aura forming around Shepard. Rudimentary lights previously hanging quietly on lamp posts were pulled horizontal as they strained to join the deadly biotic mass. Most of the lights flickered with the influx of energy. Glass in windows and light bulbs shattered and started swirling around Colt. The whole building they stood in groaned with the pressure of trying to stand when massive amounts of energy were being summoned at its core.

Colt let out a tiny bit of energy that made Wreav plus his ten men fly back fifteen feet. He moved towards them slowly, fighting the energy's need to be released. Colt was the center of the huge building now. The lights moved with him and flickered under stress. When he got to his enemy's position, they were trying to stand in a dazed state. "I always wondered what the inside of a Krogan looked like," Colt spoke from deep within his chest. Of course with this kind of energy, there wouldn't be anything left. He cocked his fist backwards to release the built-up energy onto the Krogans. Unmasked fear shown on their faces.

"ENOUGH!" Eve's voice stopped Shepard from completely decimating eleven people. He turned to her. The others watching the fight also shifted their attention. "Are we going to let petty disagreements centuries old stop us from getting what we truly need and want? Or are we going to fight the enemy we were destined to destroy and win a new future for our children? I choose to fight. Who's with me?"

…

Liara stood behind a slab of concrete just in case Shepard's biotics backfired. James was right next to her. They both trembled. Wrex was close behind them, watching Shepard. Colt was seconds away from taking a chunk off Tuchanka when Eve interrupted. She gave a short speech asking who would join her. All eyes turned to Shepard. He regarded her coldly before stepping forward. Blue still engulfed him and churned violently. Wisps of energy became contrails behind his legs and arms. Light shined on him and bathed his features, making his face look flawless. He was the only one lit up in the entire building. Commander Shepard looked God-like. Liara felt surprised when she remembered how intimately she knew this holy creature.

"I will," Colt nodded his head like he was convincing himself.

"Me too," Wrex strode over to Eve. The main attraction was still Shepard. "Now hold your heads high like true Krogan!" Wreav and his men joined the growing group. They stayed far away from Colt. "There's a Reaper that needs killing!" Wrex said. Roars and growls filled the building. They pounded their fists. Wreav joined in.

Shepard looked at the inspired Krogan, then he headed towards the door without a word. The majority followed closely behind. The old, heavy door opened to Reaper forces. Before any shots were fired, Colt let out a massive wave of biotics. It sounded like lightning had hit right next to Liara. The blue wave mowed down an impressive number of Reaper forces. Liara counted a total of six waves exploding from Shepard. The aftermath was blood, guts, and rarely an intact body. Liara shivered when she thought about what he could've done to Wreav and his people.

"I...ah...had to get rid of all my built up energy," Shepard faced them.

"Aren't you exhausted?" Liara asked. Goddess knows she would've been spent if she had done this.

Colt laughed slightly, "Exhausted? We've only just started."


End file.
